Capítulo 63: Chapter 61
" What? Wanna deny it? " That wickedly attractive smile. He hooked two fingers into my neckline and pulled me to him. He hadn't been joking about the cold, and the fact that it was so early only made it worse. But when I was that close to him, all those thoughts disappeared, all I could think of was that if I got just a little closer, I wouldn't feel as cold.
" I recorded the conversation you know. "
" Psycho. "
" For you? Definitely. "
He was looking at me way too keenly, and he wasn't trying to hide what he was thinking. His eyes would casually fall to my lips, then he'd look up at me with that suggestive glance. We were in the open street, there was no way. I wasn't that courageous. So I tried to pull his hand away, but he wouldn't let go.
" Just yesterday you were complaining that you missed me. Did you really?"
That doubt was ill placed. It wasn't supposed to even exist. Did he think I had been lying about missing him?
" What do you think?"
" I think I prefer talking to you over the phone than in person. You're more open that way. "
" You don't mean that. "
" Of course I do. I can't always force you to tell me things Kyle. "
He let go, then he turned towards the path and continued walking. I frowned, wondering what had just gotten into him. Where was all that seriousness coming from? I fell into step beside him, but his aura was different, a little closed off. I could just feel it.
" This way, " I told him when he would have turned into the wrong direction. He followed me but otherwise remained quiet. He seemed to be thinking about something, which made me realize that he had literally come back for me. I was certain it was because I had asked him to. And I was pushing him away as always because I knew he was still going to come back in the end.
" I'm glad you're here. You know I care about you, right?"
He didn't reply, and I hated the silence. Then after a while, he stopped and forced me to do so as well, his hand holding my elbow as he looked at the sign which let him know we had gotten to the clinic. Then he narrowed those grey eyes at me and called out my name with meaning and depth.
" Just care? " He asked, and his tone implied he really wanted me to respond. And that he knew the truth and would be able to tell if I lied.
I sighed, when it came to Austin, I generally just let things happen. I had no control over things and I couldn't pretend that I did because it took too much out of me to do so. Hurting him, even accidentally, was one of my greatest fears.
" It's not just care, you know it's not. Let's get you checked up first. "
I gestured towards the clinic and we continued walking. And I was glad when I stole a glance and found him smiling. That little secret action put me at ease. It was no secret that Austin did most of the work when it came to whatever we had. And I had always been okay with that, I personally didn't yet know what I wanted so I had no intentions of making any moves. It would be wrong of me to continue leading him on, but I couldn't help it. It would kill me inside if he ever grew interested in anyone else the same way he was interested in me. It was selfish of me to want him entirely to myself, but I did. Austin had and always would be mine. It was an unsaid natural law, that's just how things were. He knew it and so did I.
Luckily enough, the clinic was opened. Apparently they never closed it up. We were led to the examination room by a middle aged nurse and she asked Austin to sit on the bed, then she began unwrapping his hand as she asked him what had happened. He didn't respond. She looked up at him and so did I, I valued etiquette and I'd feel uncomfortable standing there and watching him ignore the nurse. So I just told her it was an accident but didn't specify. She finished up unwrapping his hand and I winced. He looked at me before looking away. His eyes never even once dropping to his injury. It was just as bad as I had thought. I stepped closer, so close that I was standing right beside him. And I started to rethink my earlier assumption, it didn't make sense anymore. If he had been in a fight then he'd have more injuries,not just on his hand.
" Hmmm, "
The nurse was clearly deep in thought, then he nodded to herself and stood.
" Wait here, " she told us, then she walked over to a cabinet on the opposite side of the room and started to take out some things.
" It wasn't a fight, was it?"
" Just let it be. "
" I won't. I'll keep asking you until you tell me!"
The nurse came back, holding a trey with some things on it. She set it down on the bed next to Austin and then she reached for his hand.
" So,what was it? A window? A windshield?" She brought his hand closer to her eyes and took a closer look, then I watched as she reached over and picked a pair of tweezers from the trey and used them to take something out from his injured hand, observing it closely afterwards.
" A mirror, " she stated. I shot Austin a disapproving look but he didn't look back. He kept his eyes glued to the side throughout the entire time. And when she was cleaning up the injury, he winced in clear pain, jerking his hand away out of instinct.
" Easy, " I found myself telling the nurse, my hand holding onto his shoulder in an attempt to offer him comfort. She sweetly apologized, then she went ahead and continued with her task. He winced again not long after and I clenched my teeth, I was worried about him. My mind refused to picture him in any sort of pain, and it was hard to stand there and watch him struggle to hold it in.
" God! What is that? Acid?" He seriously asked her.
" Almost done, " the nurse assured him. Then she placed the cottonwool aside and started applying some sort of cream on his hand, he finally looked at me.
" If it's more than care then what is it?" he suddenly asked.
My lips parted and I stared at him in utter disbelief. Of all the times he could have chosen to ask me that, that was the most inappropriate of them all. My gaze fell to the nurse, then I arched a brow at him.
" Do you remember what you were supposed to tell me when we met in person?"
" Not now. "
" I'll tell you again, will you respond?"
" Austin come on!"
The nurse was trying to mind her own business, pretending was more like it. She might not have been looking at us but it was pretty clear all her attention was on whatever he was saying.
" Let's end the games Stevens, I'm fed up of them, Aren't you?"
" Not. Now!"
He looked at the nurse, then back at me. And when I expected him to say something, he didn't. With him, there was no knowing what he would do next, he was just too unpredictable and that made me fearful whenever I was with him. The nurse finished up, then she said she was going to get him some meds and more bandages for later incase he didn't feel like going back to the clinic. I watched as she stood, then my heart race increased when she walked towards the door rather than the cabinet, which meant I'd be alone in there with him. My instincts advised me to step away, it was something about how his entire expression changed, same to his aura. He gazed at me from underneath his lashes, then he let his eyes roam over me before pegging me with a dark look. The sound of the door being shut was my cue to establish some distance between us.
But the second I made an attempt to step away he reached out and pulled me closer.
" Where the hell do you think you're going?"
What was crazier? That I had known his next move or that I went along with it? I stood in front of him, then I asked him what all that had been about.
" What? You scared of her?"
" Limits! remember?"
" Enough about the fucking limits. You owe me something. "
I turned towards the door because I wouldn't feel better until I confirmed it was locked, and that there was no one else around. I knew there wasn't, but it was a force of habit and I doubt I'd ever get over it. It was only a matter of time before the nurse came back, so I had to make use of that make-believe courage while I still had it. I placed my hands on either side of him on the bed, then I leaned in a bit close.
" Is this what you want?"
He smirked, placing his injured hand lightly on my waist and wrapping the other around my upper arm.
" Closer, "
I wasn't even sure about what I was doing. But at the moment it felt right and I really wanted to do it. So I did as asked and leaned in closer, my eyes on his. But his eyes were lower. He brushed his lips over my cheek, then higher until he got to my lobe.
" That wasn't so hard now, was it?"
I wasn't intending on responding, but even if I had, I wouldn't have been able to. He sucked my lobe into his mouth without warning. And I automatically leaned in to the action because there was something sensual and tempting about it. I craved more. God! I craved so much more. My mind became hazy and fogged up, that moment was all that mattered and I knew that if I backed out I'd end up regretting it later on. I always hated it when I regretted things. So I dug my fingers into his thigh, silently urging him on.
He kissed my jawline, my neck, then he held my chin between his thumb and forefinger and simply looked at me the same way he had when we had been kids. With wonder and intrigue.
" Do you love me?" He randomly asked. Austin was the king of random. He'd say whatever popped up in his head regardless of whether it was appropriate or not.
I licked my lips and he followed the action keenly, then he leaned in as if to kiss me but then smirked and leaned back.
" Do you?"
My breathing was uneven and I was dying for that one thing we both needed. But he was making it clear that it wouldn't be him making the first move, those small actions were his way of telling me that it was my turn. And that he wanted it to be my turn.
" Of course I do. "
" And do you love me like that?"
" Like what?"
" Like THAT Kyle. Do you?"
I huffed out a breath and attempted to look away,but he wouldn't let me.
" Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's like that. "
I wasn't a hundred percent sure, but I was pretty convinced about it. There was just no other way to explain it. None that made sense anyway. The answer clearly satisfied him.
He smiled to himself, then he pressed his forehead to mine and sighed in relief. I didn't get why he had been stressed, it's not like he hadn't known how I felt.
With Austin and I, words were mostly an afterthought. Every single time I was with him, the physical pull was strongest. That didn't mean it was mostly physical attraction, it just meant that was what we related to most. I believed it was because of all the times he had messed around with me as kids. Each time there had been some sort of touch involved. And because of that I was now used to and in need of that sort of connection.
He wrapped his hand around my neck, then he lowered it to my waist and dipped it underneath my shirt. His warm skin was welcomed against my own.
" Don't freak out....okay?"
He wasn't referring to the hand. I knew because of where his eyes were fixed. I nodded. Wondering why he had decided to take the lead again, I figured he just didn't think I was capable of it. And I did what I did because I wanted to prove him wrong, plus deep down I really wanted to do it.
His lips were so much softer than I had imagined, there was something about kissing him. The act was sensual, even if you started off slow and intended for it to be gentle, it automatically grew deeper. He wasn't the type that wanted it gentle. All he had wanted was for me to take the first step so that he could take charge. And he did. He broke the kiss for a second before crashing his lips to mine. The sole need to unearth those feelings I was trying to hide was paramount. I liked the barely controlled roughness, how his tongue expertly licked...tasted...tempted. It was blissful. I liked the warmth, the underlying sweetness and the open passion with which he kissed me. And there was no denying that I had never before experienced anything as strong as what I felt while I kissed him back. Willingly, with equal need and desire. Whatever he gave I took, and whatever I craved he naturally offered.
He finally pulled back, his hand on my back, playing with my skin.
" Not too bad for a first kiss, " he whispered. I looked at him and it was clear he knew what I was thinking. But I said it out loud either way.
" It's not the first. But I prefer it to the last one. "
That light chuckle that was dear to me. Then he shook his head and looked away.
" I do as well. But it's not the first.."
He looked at me with intensity and hidden meaning.
"... neither is it the second. " My face portrayed nothing but confusion. I had no clue what he was talking about. I waited for him to say something but he didn't. And then the nurse walked back in and I immediately tried to step back. He held onto me. He knew how I felt about such things, but he just didn't care, I turned back to find the nurse looking at us,then she continued approaching us as if she hadn't seen a thing. I silently warned him to let go and he did. But I was still very curious about what he had just said.
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