Capítulo 32: Chapter 30
" Whoa! Don't!" I quietly warned Austin when the guy tried to hug me. His sly smile suggested he was only messing around, but that wasn't how everyone else was going to see it. The mere fact that they'd seen him even attempt to hug me was bad. I had to ask him not to do things that others might find suspicious. He was born with this reckless attitude which always drive him to do whatever he felt like without caring about what others thought,but that wasn't me.
" Morning, " he uttered. He seemed happier than I'd seen him since he joined the school. And I concluded that it had to do with whatever Miles had shown him. Instead of replying, I simply have him a curt nod, then I told him we'd talk later on before I started to walk away, but he ran ahead of me and blocked my path, his eyes digging into me with raw intensity. I glanced around us once more before asking him to move aside. The students were still busy doing their own things, I had no reason to worry about rumors, but I couldn't help it.
" Who pissed you off this early?" He asked. Sounding genuinely concerned. I wasn't angry, I just had a lot of my mind,I was thinking about a lot of different and confusing things,. including him.
" I'm okay, I just need to check something out in the library. And we have a quiz later on..you do as well,"
He seemed unbothered by the quiz, and I could tell that he hadn't bought anything I had just said. I didn't like those roots of jealousy that were implanting themselves in me. I wasn't a stranger to that feeling, and it was a very dangerous state to be in.
" We'll talk later, "
I started to walk away but he fell into step beside me am literally began following me. Sighing, I stopped and turned to him. Then I arched a brow to ask him what he thought he was doing. It was one of those days when I didn't really feel like either talking or doing much. I just wanted to get through the day, and go to sleep in the evening so that I could wait for another day and do the same thing all over again.
" You good?" He asked and I frowned at the genuine concern I heard in his tone. He reached forward with the intention or placing his hand in my cheek but I took a step back and glared at him.
" Stop that!"
He glanced around us, then his eyes set back on me before he narrowed them. And when I thought he was finally going to do what I asked and just let me be, he asked me what I was so afraid of. He said he didn't see anything or anyone to be concerned about. I shook my head and told him to just let it be. There was never a point to arguing with him. He was mostly only that way with me, never accepting defeat. But I was in no mood. I didn't know what it was either, I just didn't want to talk much.
" Hug me. " he finally said. I was convinced he hadn't just asked me to do that, but a glance at him assured me I wasn't hearing things.
" I beg your pardon?"
" Hug me, I want you to hug me..here... now. " The fact that he was using a serious tone, and that he maintained a straight face made me wonder who I was dealing with. He didn't make a move to do anything because he'd decided to make me carry out his secret wishes for him.But he must have known there was no way in hell I was going to do such a thing. It didn't matter what he did to try and make me, I wasn't going to. Not there, not Infront of all those people.
" I have things to do Austin, " I calmly told him, then I started walking away, warning him against touching me when he stretched out his arm to stop me from doing so. He withdrew, but he still started walking next to me. His hair covered his forehead, and unless he did something about the strands soon, they were going to eventually cover up his eyes. But maybe if they did I'd be able to converse with him normally. I started asking myself why I was walking away when in truth I was glad he was beside me. Why I was telling him I had to go when all I really wanted to do was stay with him...it didn't matter what we were doing, as long as he'd be present then I was sure I'd be fine.
" You scared of what the crowd will think?" He asked. Of course he knew why I wasn't willing to hug him. And he seemed genuinely upset, as if I was denying him something he really wanted. We went up the stairs, then I turned right and he did so as well. There weren't that many people there, there was still a significant amount of time before classes officially started for the day.
" You actually ought to be glad that I'm only asking for a hug, " His time made me well aware of what he meant. And I had an idea of what he would have otherwise asked for. And just thinking about it took me back to five years when I had taken advantage of the fact that he had been asleep and done something that now resided in my head as a sacred memory. What I had done had been wrong, and I had kept on wondering what was wrong with me for the weeks that had followed. Unable to comprehend that I had try done such a thing. But what had scared me even more was realizing that I had liked it, and that I wanted to try it again.
" I'm not hugging you, " I flatly refused. Then I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and found him staring straight ahead.
" But I want you to, "
" So? I'm not obligated to do as you please. "
" But I'm not the only one who wants to...you do as well, isn't that right Stevens?"
I was never going to be fond of that form 'know it all' tone. When I looked at him it was to find a smug look on his face. It was like he had forgotten where we were. I was trying to get the people to stop talking but he seemed intent on feeding their suspicions. It wasn't a normal thing to see two boys just openly hugging without jumping into your own conclusions. Even the fact that we were talking so casually wasn't gonna go unnoticed.
I stopped walking and so did he. Then he looked past me and I watched as he momentarily hot lost in his thoughts. When I turned to confirm what he was looking at, I couldn't see anything.
" Why won't you just let them say whatever they want to?" He asked me. The subject was clearly a favourite of his. I didn't get why he was so interested in it. I always tried my best to avoid thinking about those things, I had been confused enough growing up, I didn't want to go back to those times. And him being that close at the moment wasn't helping. For some absurd reason, whenever I inhaled his scent, my heart always started beating faster. I always grew more nervous, and what I didn't like most was that I was mostly the only one affected. Of course, he had his moments as well, and I cursed the day I realized that I also affected him. It had been like a revelation that helped me realize that I wasn't actually crazy, that everything that I felt wasn't all in my head.
And these days, those thoughts and feelings were escalating to a new level which I wasn't at all comfortable with. In the past we had been kids, and even though I had been conflicted, I had also believed that I was just putting too much thought into the issue, but now we were older. It wasn't only my mind that was reacting but my body as well. And the sort of reactions were unhidden proof that I couldn't keep lying to myself so openly.
" I'm not you Austin, and if you really want a hug that bad then you can wait till after school. "
" I want it now, "
" Can you hear yourself? "
" Now Stevens, before I do something that will erase the doubt from everyone's mind. "
I took a step back,my eyes widened in shock and I reached up with the intention of rubbing my ear before I quickly put my hand back down. That would have made him know for certain that he held so much power over me. And I didn't want him to ever find out.
It was like he was doing and saying all those things on purpose. I shook off the thoughts and asked him to quit playing.
" Come with me," he held my arm and started leading me away before Ii could even react. Then I realized where he was heading to and I planted my feet on the floor.
There was no way I was going into a storage room with him, in school, where the possibility of anyone seeing us was at its maximum level. What was he thinking?
" Stop being so difficult! It's not like I wanna make out with you... not in there at least, " he smirked while saying the last part. And I had thought it was a very bad joke until I saw the glitches of truth in his eyes. Even his own mentality wasn't okay with him telling me such things, but he was going against that as well.
" I told you, you can't keep telling me things like that, "
" And why not?"
Before I could reply, he had my arm and led me away once more. He must have been taking advantage of the fact than no one was around in that particular moment, and he also knew it wouldn't remain that way for long so he acted fast. And I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I let him lead me into that enclosed space. We were in private and alone. I had never been able to tell what would happen in such situations. Everytime in the past, it had always either been something playful or something too intense for our younger versions to even comprehend. I believed his closeness was part of the reason I followed him. I was never myself when he was that close. Add that to the fact that he was holding me and all you got was a weak spirit that was ready to do whatever he wanted. He was my weakness in many ways.
The storage room was dark,but he managed to find a light switch and turned it on. Then he turned around to face me and I saw a sparkle in his eyes. Like the fact that we were in there amused him.
He took off his backpack and let it drop to the floor, and I watched in total confusion as he ran his eyes over my entire form.
I got chills, they washed through me like an intense wave.
" Maybe I do want that 'something else' after all," he said. And the words seemed to be directed more to himself.
That was the part of Austin that both scared and intrigued me. His ability to just speak whatever was on his mind. How did he honestly expect me to react to that? And when I thought about it, I began to wonder yet another thing. He seemed to turn down all the girls who approached him. I knew he never liked to socialize much, but it was also pretty suspicious. I mean, did he do that simply because he didn't want to be bothered...or was it something entirely different?
I would have thought it over more clearly, but he took a step towards me and all of a sudden, I found it hard to breathe. And why the hell was he staring at me with challenge in those captivating eyes?
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