Capítulo 27: Chapter 25
Stevens blew out a breath and leaned against the couch, his eyes settled on the ceiling above us both. His arms extended on the couch's backrest because the last place he wanted them was anywhere on me. I turned to face away from him, realizing that I hadn't even ven had a good look of the apartment. In a lot of ways it reminded me of the one they had been living in back in Phoenix. It wasn't the largest of spaces, but it was just him and his mom so I was sure that wasn't an issue. And it was neat and tidy, something I was sure had to do with Stevens, he had always been responsible. I had always envied that about him. I'd tried to follow in his footsteps a few times but never could, somehow I always ended up leaving a mess.
" Where are you going later on?" I asked because I was still curious. He didn't respond so I turned to look up at him. He had been looking at me but quickly looked away. I also wanted to know where his mom was but I wouldn't ask that. My instincts warned me against doing so.
" That doesn't concern you, "
" Work?"
" I'm not telling you so just quit asking. "
" To visit a friend?"
He seemed slightly more at ease. He looked at me and threatened to stand, raising himself slightly off the couch. I hadn't expected him to do so and I instinctively shouted my warning and sat up, but then he sat down again and with a hand on the back of my t-shirt he pulled me back down. The unexpected move shocked me and I didn't bother hiding it. I raised my feet and placed them on the armrest, my shoes were clean so I didn't feel guilty about it. I liked how much more comfortable that position made me feel,and I also felt as if I was closer to him. Despite him always hating my messing around, there had been instances when he hadn't really cared. When he'd be willing to play along because he was too mentally exhausted to do anything else.
And I also noted how wrong I felt each time I referred to those interactions as ' messing around' . It had always been so much more than that.
When I looked at him again it was to find him staring at me with a slight frown on that perfectly sculpted face. The angles of his features were so eloquent..so proportionate. And from that particular angle I got the best view of the dark lashes that fringed those beautiful and exotic turquoise eyes. And at the moment those eyes were focused on my chest. His lips parted and he leaned closer, then I watched as he lowered his hand and placed his fingertips on the neckline of my shirt, I looked down at myself and understood what had captured his attention.
The neckline had shifted slightly lower and to the left.
" Is that a tattoo?" he asked and I fixed the shirt and smiled at him. Concealing the new discovery he had just made. He looked more shocked than I would have expected, his eyes wide as he glanced at the spot where the mark was.
" It is, isn't it?"
Was that excitement in his tone. He lowered his other hand and absentmindedly placed it on my head.
" Can I see?"
I loved his enthusiasm, and he looked so eager to see it that I almost considered showing it to him. But then I decided against it and shook my head, a teasing smile playing at the corner of my lips. He asked me why and I shrugged.
" Because I want something in return. "
" You know what? Forget it, I don't really wanna see it anymore, " he said before I even told him what I wanted. He had already concluded that it was something he wouldn't like. I didn't even know what I wanted yet, I was trying to think of something to bribe him with, a lot of options came to mind but I feared they might have been too much.
" Come on, I won't ask for anything strange. "
" Yes you will, I know you. "
I chuckled and finally sat up, then I shifted to face him and moved closer, he moved away. A cautious look on his face, he looked weary of my intentions.
Stevens and I had been the best of friends, but now that I thought about it, we hadn't really been. That wasn't friendship, it was something else. Something that we ha both silently agreed to never name because neither of us had had any clue either. I recalled a time when I had believed I had him all figured out, only for me to start questioning things myself and realizing I actually knew nothing.
" A hug," I whispered loud enough for him to hear. Then I switched my focus to his hand and found myself reaching for it. Feeling relieved when he didn't attempt to pull away. And he was watching every move I made with the same caution, waiting for me to criss the line so that he could put a halt to everything,but I knew that line very well. I was a master when it came to nit crossing it but rather balancing myself on its small width. For example, I knew he wouldn't do anything if I locked our fingers together, and so I did just that. And I glanced at him from underneath my lashes and found him looking at me. Observing me closely. his pink lips were parted slightly and I looked away because letting him realize I was staring at them would be crossing the line.
" A hug?" he repeated, sounding conflicted. His voice strangled and hoarse. I felt the slight nervous shake of his hand and I tightened my hold on it.
" A hug, " I confirmed. Then I smiled at him and waited to hear what he'd say. It was a pretty logical offer for me. Unless he tried to read into things like he usually did, coming up with all sorts of reasons why that would just be wrong and strange. Because there was no way two boys would be interacting how we were unless....
He darted his eyes from side to side as he contemplated the offer. And I knew that him not saying no was his way of saying yes. He didn't want to openly accept my proposal so he was going to just wait until I made the first move.
Because everything was always easier when I made the first move, he was more comfortable with that.
Standing up, I pulled him along with me. He looked anxious and nervous all over again. I withheld my jokes when I noted how red his ears were.
" Don't try anything stupid, get that?" he warned before I did anything. I slowly let go of his hand, noting the absence I felt afterwards. The deprivation. I had made that request because it was something I genuinely wanted, something I had been thinking of over and over. The memories of all the times I had held him or been held by him were flooded in my head. The feeling I got from being in his arms was unique, I couldn't compare it to anything else.
" You're supposed to hug me,not the other way round, " I told him and he hung his head.
" What difference does it make who hugs who?"
" There IS a difference, I just wanna believe that I'm not forcing you. "
He sighed audibly. And I watched as he licked his lips and placed a hand on his waist as if debating how to go around it. The fact that he even had to think about it was disheartening. Especially when the same action had been done over and over in the past with pure affection and---
My thoughts were cut off when he suddenly stepped forward and hugged me. His arms tight around me, I stood still. Rigid because I hadn't actually thought he'd carry through with it in such a manner. He buried his head in the crook of my neck and I both heard and felt him take in a deep breath. And I don't know how long he held me for but he finally spoke. A tone I had expected to never hear from him again. Like nothing had changed, like no time had passed.
" I feel like I'm the only one making the effort here, "
The tone was light, casual. Friendly in our own strange way. I blinked away my initial shock and wrapped my own arms around him. Then I relaxed in his hold and let the tension wash away. There was always safety in his embraces. And I never felt like letting go, I could literally imagine myself just holding onto him for hours without needing to break the contact. With him everything both made sense and confused me in equal measure. Everything was both easy and complicated. But when he held him I forgot about all that and simply lived in the moment. The warmth from his skin was tempting me to get closer despite us being as close as physically possible. And I realized that the lavender scent came from his clothes, like a nice subtle detergent he had been using for so long it was now a part of him. I loved it.
" Does this feel forced to you?" He asked not long after. I shook my head because it didn't. It was just like the past.
" Good, it's not. "
" I like this, I missed it, " I confessed. I had never had an issue when it came to speaking my mind with him. I loved it when he knew exactly what I was feeling. I loved knowing what he was feeling even more, so I slowly drew back and looked at him.
Satisfaction was the most obvious feeling, which meant that he too had needed that hug. I gently wrapped my hand around his neck, feeling his hands as they let go of me and slipped down my arms, then he used both to hold onto my wrist. As if silently asking me to keep my hand in place,to not remove it from his skin because he liked it there.
" Can I see it now?" He asked in that same low voice. His eyes once more on my chest. I gave him a curt nod, then I waited as he gathered his confidence. Then he reached for my shirt and gently pulled down the neckline, moving closer so he could get a better view without having to outstretch the material of the shirt. I kept my eyes fixed on him because I wanted to master his reaction. And I did. I saw the confusion that was displayed by his frown, then he understood and his eyes widened and he looked me right in the eyes.
" Austin, " He called out but I didn't respond because I knew he didn't need me to. He was only trying to capture my attention.
" I glanced down at myself, he had only revealed half of the tattoo, I suppose he felt weird about peeking into my shirt.
" For your mom?" He inquired and I smiled and nodded, feeling great because he'd been able to figure it out so fast.
" And for you, " I added. Holding his hand and placing it on the spot where the art was.
It wasn't an exaggerated tattoo, and I hadn't gotten it because I felt rebellious or because I thought it would look cool. I had just needed something that I could always carry with me that would remind me of my mom and the incredible person she had been. And the and fact that the tattoo also reminded me of Kyle was just an added bonus. It was a logically sized loveheart with two lifelines on either side of it. And underneath it were the words , " What's unseen isn't non-existent"
I swallowed hard when he traced his fingertip over the words, he stopped and looked at me. He must have noticed my reaction. And when I expected him to let go and step back, he rather locked his fingers together around my neck and shook his head.
" How am I supposed to stay mad at you when you do things like this?" He asked afterwards.
Status de energia semanal
-- Ranking de
Poder 
-- Pedra de
Poder