Capítulo 100: You’ve got to try.
"Let's start with a.. rabbit?" Baal said, unsure of what I should transform into.
"Alright, I guess I can try that."
'[Transform: Rabbit]' I imaged myself as a rabbit, the light once again enveloped my body in its tight embrace and let me free after a while but in the body of a different creature than my own.
"*yip*" -> "why'd you chose a rabbit of all things?"
Yuki's voice once again returned back to the yips that I've always known, probably because I'm no longer a wolf or an animal that speaks similar to Yuki.
"I don't know. It was the first thing that came to mind." Baal shrugged and then continued, "try a flying creature. Can you do humanoids? Do a harpy, it'll be a good test."
'[Transform: Harpy]'
I imagined myself as a harpy, long black hair, purple amethyst eyes, silky black feathers that are similar to my true forms wings and talons instead of feet.
My body changed in that familiar light that engulfed me like the other times and dimmed as my transformation finished.
"So you can do that too.." Baal thought for a second. "Can you fly in that form?"
"Most likely. I know how to fly anyway in my humanoid form so I don't see why I wouldn't be able to." I said as I flapped my wings and went into the air. I made sure to only go up a little bit so I didn't break anything inside before returning back to the bed after a lap of the room.
"I don't know what you would and wouldn't be able to transform into anymore. Hawk?" Baal said and held out her arm.
'[Transform: Hawk]'
The process repeated time and time again until Baal was satisfied.
"So you can transform into literally anything you desire to be even if it has more mass than yourself. Interesting. Well whatever, transform back into a wolf, I want to pat you some more~"
"Didn't you pay me enough already?" I said as I stretched the arms of my human form.
"No. No I didn't. Now quick, transform."
I transformed back into a wolf and sat in Baal's lap to let her comfortably Stoke me while in a good position. Yuki was busy sleeping so she saw none of this.
"Why do you like patting me?" I barked, literally barked, at Baal.
"Because it feels just as nice for me as it does you. You just don't feel it as much as you should since you've numbed your feelings both physical feelings and emotional. You know, you should let your emotions out once in a while at least." Baal said.
"Why would I do that? It would cause me more pain than I can bear with."
"Then learn to bear it and if it gets too much then get someone to support you. If it's still too much then bottle then up, calm down and try again. I know how you feel. Well kind of. Why did you decide to bottle up your emotion anyway? It takes a lot of conscious effort to do that all the time." Brief concern flashed in Baal's eyes as she said that.
"It's.. well. I'll tell you but only because you're a summon of mine and I want you to tell no one. If you know how I feel then I'm sorry."
Baal tilted her head in confusion at my sudden apology.
I began telling my story to Baal, including the reincarnation part but leaving out the goddess and system. I explained the pain I went through, in detail, and ended my story once I had finished my first dungeon.
"-so that's it. That's why. Understand why I did it?" I looked up and saw the look on Baal's face.
Tears were slowly falling from her eyes as she looked at me and she quickly turned them to steam. Her eyes held nothing but sadness and pity.
'I don't think I should have told her in detail. I was pretty vague with Tess to not upset her but who would have thought Baal would cry. That's my mistake. I shouldn't have said anything..'
"Sorry." I apologised.
I got up from the bed and looked to the window. It was night time.
"Goodnight, Baal."
I left the room and went outside, transformed into a hawk since it was small and agile and then went away to fly around a bit.
'If Baal cried from that then it's better to not tell anyone again. I'll leave for a bit so she can sort through her thoughts and I should probably do the same, though my emotions are chained up and locked I can feel that they are trying to be set free.'
My thoughts wondered back to what Baal said. {"you should let your emotions out once in a while at least…. learn to bear it and if it gets too much then get someone to support you. If it's still too much then bottle then up, calm down and try again. I know how you feel."}
'She said she knew how I felt but since she cried then I don't think that's the case. I'll take her words into consideration. I'll try it but… not today. If I do it today I feel as if I'll explode.'
I calmly flapped my wings and glided through the surprisingly cool air. The moon was out, stars shining, igniting the sky in all their glory.
'How I love the night sky.' I thought to myself as I flew above the forests trees peacefully. 'I can't help but think that I shouldn't be here. I've died once already.. is it really alright to be here? I don't think anyone else has experienced this. Never mind, let's not think of this now.'
I purged my mind of any thoughts and focused on my surroundings while I flew around resulting in me taking in more information than necessary as I subconsciously used [Mastered spacial awareness].
My nightly flight lasted two hours before I decided to return back to my home here in this dungeon.
'Baal should be fine now, right?'
I flew back but quite slowly and landed in front of my door. I transformed back into my human form and entered the house.
It was dead silent and I could hear every slight movement I made. I quietly closed the door and made sure that my movements weren't making any sounds so I wouldn't wake anyone up.
I used [Mastered spacial awareness] to sense where in the house Yuki and Baal were, Baal was in a spare bedroom and Yuki was in mine.
I wondered the empty corridor and entered my room before slipping out of my clothes and going under the covers.
"*yip*" -> "more.. more rubs…"
Small yipping sounds escaped the sleeping foxes mouth while I shifted under the covers slightly.
"Goodnight Yuki." I whispered softly before falling asleep.
The next day I was the last to wake up. Yuki had already left the bed and I could sense her messing around with a training dummy in a training room. Baal. She was outside my room.
"Baal, just come in." I said as I moved my body into a sitting position with my back leaning against the headboard.
Baal slowly entered my room and sat next to me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know how to react to that.. I never knew something like that could have happened to anyone. That disgusts me." Baal snarled.
"It's alright." I said as I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. "Is that all you wanted to say?"
"I wanted to comfort you but I don't know how to do that.. though there is one thing I wanted to say. I still mean what I said. Even though you went through all of that.. it's better to let your emotions free, Kiera. I can tell you're strong. Trust in yourself." Baal left after she said that to allow me to drown in thought.
"I don't know if I can take the sudden over fluctuation of emotion once I set them free though…" I muttered to myself.
"Baal is right though.. I can't keep them locked up forever. They'll always be my limiter. I need to learn to control myself."
I took a deep breath inwards and slowly released it.
"I'll have something to eat then I'll give it a shot. I just need to try my best. Face my fears. Easy, right?"
It must've looked weird to anyone who watched me muttering to myself. A person who shows no emotion muttering somethings to herself would look weird to anyone.
I left the bedroom and made my way to the kitchen, made myself a quick cheese and sliced boar toasty and ate it before heading to an empty training room, T-M1.
I stood right in the centre of the room and used [Telepathy] to say to both Yuki and Baal that I'd attempt to sort out my emotions.
'Baal, just as you've recommended me to do, I'm going to try an sort out my emotions. I'm not sure how it'll go but I'll release them one by one. If you want to watch then you can but don't make much noise while I do it. Yuki, same goes for you. I know your in a training room so do what you want. That's all.' I cut off the connection before they could reply and began focusing on my emotions that were chained up.
I heard the door creak open but paid it no attention.
'I've got this. I'll be fine, like normal.'
..
Name:[Kiera]
Age:[6]
Race:[Black elemental wyrm]
Gender:[Female]
Level:[6/250]
EXP:[1663/2500]
HP:[1034/1034]
MP:[1324/1324]
SP:[1099/1099]
..
Strength:[1031]
Intelligence:[1158]
Endurance:[1089]
Mental force/power:[ERROR]
Agility:[1046]
..
Skills - [Scratch] , [Thrust] , [Inspect] , [Bow mastery] , [Perfect aim] , [Elemental breath] , [Bloodlust] , [Elemental master] , [True dragon] , [Copy] , [Spacial storage] , [Sword mastery] , [Fire blade] , [Transform] , [Chef] , [Scythe mastery: 77%] , [Wind enhancer] , [Inferno] , [Poison manipulation] , [Fire resistance] , [Telepathy], [Override], [Limit breaker], [Black flames], Skill set: [Flames of destruction],
..
Passive skills - [Night vision] , [Mastered spacial awareness] , [Steal] , [Regeneration] , [Elemental resistance] , [Polyglot]
..
Armours - [Armour bent from the flames of death],
..
Body modifications - [Armoured scales - activated]
..
Titles - [The anomaly]
..
Blessings - [Blessed by goddess of reincarnation] , [Blessed by goddess of space]
Status de energia semanal
-- Ranking de
Poder 
-- Pedra de
Poder