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Capítulo 6: 6

In a dark space he was floating around. Binary codes after codes running down at minimum speed. Skeptical whether he is in another dimension, somewhere an unknown identity took him in.

Hindelr blink after feeling the emptiness around. Continuesly suspended by the absence of gravity. Bending down the endless dark pit, measuring the deep end and calculating the impact of the fall.

Bewildered by this, he was absent minded.

[What just happened? I was only talking to someone then I... Wait, I was talking with some? Who?...]

Amidst the slur memory and even the inaudible conversation, a voice suddenly erupted causing Hindelr to flinched in shocked.

'Congratulations for successfully completing 'Chapter One'.

Your service was highly appreciated.

Your participation was optional.

Thank you for participating.

The voice sounded the same as the woman he speaks with at his condominium but the only thing that is amiss is that there is no physical form in which the voice come from. It's as if it come from all around the dark space, echoing, vibrating and bouncing back.

Hindelr tried to focused. Sneakingly groping his body in hoping to find something useful in order to protect himself. No matter how hard he tried to think of how he end up here and there, there's no enough explanations to this. Until his hand got a grip of something from his coat pocket.

[What is this? A pocket knife!?]

Hindelr isn't used to carry something inside his pocket aside from a pen and a sweet candy he used to have since young. Even the phone which is a very essential thing is frequently forgotten.

Never once occured to him to carry anything specially a very dangerous one. But seems like this time is exceptional. He doesn't know where it came from or how it ended up in his possession but regardless, he needed it.

Time doesn't seem to goes by and the voice didn't say much more. And it seems that he somewhat adjusted to the unexplainable event that he blurted words that comes in his mind.

"Who are you? What is this place. Where am I?"

His voice reverberated every corner but a complete silence defeated his tune. He clenched his grip even tighter and his eyes are moving revertively. Soon enough, after waiting for answer, a screen flashed with a bright red light coming infront of him.

The screen included a loud ring of siren that's enough to impaired one's hearing.

*WARNING*

*WARNING*

*WARNING*

*WARNING*

The awaiting voice now turn into a systematic one with a high pitch and warn.

The system has detected an unusual behavioral conduct by the 'Selected Character' thus, automatically closing the gateway of the past. In order to maintain the stability of time, the 'Selected Character' here by forcefully ejected.

Hindelr knitted his brows as he used his hands to cover his ears. This time, the hidden weapon was revealed. Instantly, without a single noticed, he was sucked by a wormhole placed from his back. The pull was too strong that his effort of fighting back was in vain. As he struggles of keeping up in place, the voice come back.

Welcome to Abyss Nightmare. As a punishment for your inappropriate conduct, a  Counterclockwise Recording is played and served according to level of crime committed by the 'Selected Character'

Soon after, the voice is gone, as he was being pushed down, images of various faces of people kept on showing like a hologram. The faces of the people he never meet nor took a glimpse of.

At the very end, when the fall is about to end, a certain name echoed upon Hindelr's ear with a lips innocently smiled at him.

"Ryaa.... My name is Ryaa"

The gentle yet naive young boy beaming with warmth and covered in sweetness flashed through. The angelic face which can heal a broken soul somehow making Hindelr lost his breath.

The heart of him skip a beat mixed with unknown happiness and delight.

Just then, Hindelr remembered his face. The smiling lips and the glistening eyes instantly turn into a bloody death of him. The lost eye, the wounded neck and the dried purple lips. The lifeless body laying in a white mattress filled with crimson blood. Screaming, yelling, cursing, the young boy's voice sounded like a crying child whining the pain out of his chest, calling out a blurry name.

"**** It hurts. It hurts. ****, it hurts. It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts"

"Let me out. Let me out. It pains me. I'm scared please, let me out"

"Too much, this is too much. I can't anymore. No more. Help me. Someone please help me, I beg you. It hurts. IT HURTS... Nooooo.... It hurts so much. Make it stop, make it stooop"

"Help me, someone, please"

Hindelr unknowingly clenched his fist too tight that his nails turn pale. The voice feels like a living torture. It hurts him bad, real bad. He doesn't know why but seeing the young boy in his pitiful state broke his heart that it darken his eyes in anger.

Watching a young boy suffering from endless pain, calling out for help, shackled with nothing but fear, grief, resentment, agony, the sting of rejection and loneliness, it was scary, it scared him out. His loud cries that trembles the earth, his bloody tears that contaminate a crystal water and his deep sobs that can loses all the lights, Hindelr witness everything. He never blink even once.

"No, no this can't be"

Hindelr felt a strong pain in the chest but he ignores it. His raise up his hand, trying to reach the young boy out. To get ahold of him. Trying to take him away.

"I.. I'm here, I'll take you away. Don't be scared. Don't be scared"

He continue adjusting his movements even though he knows it meant nothing.

[A little more, just a little bit more]

Hindelr exiled too much energy in order to touch the trembling body. Bucket of sweats been dripping from his temples into his cheeks. His hard work may not be enough to save the suffering soul yet regardless, he give out his best. But all his might disappeared after seeing the young boy slowly disappearing from his sight, from within his reach. He tried once more but nothing seems to workout, everything is futile. Before everything turns black, the young boy turn around, he smile so painfully that his curved lips started to cracked and his eye cried out a clear tears. He blurted out  words that Hindelr left unsettled.

"Freed me. I am loosing it. I am in too much agony. Please help me out. I'm begging you, b**t**r"

Hindelr doesn't know nor doesn't care. He doesn't understand this feeling of ache that comes from nowhere only by seeing this boy crying infront of him.

By this, Hindelr woke up while shouting his name.

"RYAAAAA"

Gasping for air like his body losses the ability to breathe. His trembling hand can't stop from shaking and tears continuesly fall to his cheeks. The saddened expression becomes even more heavy. His chest somehow tightens that he can't even control his complexion. Unexplainable feeling from a man he never meet but the emotion is really strong and real, too real.

Hindelr touches his face. The water that comes from his eyes bewildered his mind.

"I'm.... crying?"

He stares at the salted water. The feelings he felt from the man in his dream were already faded away but the sadness and pain remains in his eyes.

"I'm... actually crying!?"

[Ryaa.... Who are you?]

Hindelr groan from headache trying to remember his dream. He rub his temple to minimize the throbbing ache. Exploring the room, he realized he was in his own bed and took a peek at the digital clock in the beside table.

"3 A.M hah!?"

He lay back once again, looking blankly at the white ceiling. Putting aside the weird experience from his dream that almost make him think of the reality, Hindelr becomes even more confused.

[What the hell happened. Am I too tired from work that I am now experiencing weird dreams? No. It can't be just a dream. It is too real to be a dream. The feeling, the situation, the event and even the people's touch are almost as if their real. It must be something else]

[That boy... Who is he? What does he mean by calling me like that?]

Hindelr turn to the side. In his desk, is a photo of child sitting under a tree, carrying a baby in his arms sleeping peacefully as he hold him genuinely with love and affection in his eyes. His lips formed a laugh, making a small giggle out of himself.

"Pumpkin" Hindelr mumbled.

He turn back straight again, putting his arm into his forehead and choose to close his eyes.

Before he could get enough peace, a knocked was heard.

"Master, are you awake?"

------

Ryaa was in his deep slumber when suddenly he was woken up with a loud noise.

"YAY. Congratulations, Dr. Hindelr's Memory 'Chapter One' is Complete. We can now proceed to our main mission"

He yawns while extended his arms into the air. His sleepy face is still present but still trying to make a happy face.

"Yay, congrats to me, I'm sleepy

Talk to you later"

He then lay back again with only his body covered by the blanket.

A sneer form from YaYa's lips. She float near his ear and whisper something that cause Ryaa to woken up an instant.

"If you won't finish your mission by the end of the day, you'll miss the opportunity to win a cash price" (A complete lie)

It only took Ryaa a millisecond before opening up his eyes again with a big smile caved in. He excitedly walked out of bed and went straight to the bathroom. Luckily, this day doesn't seemed to be a terrible one. He didn't much experience having nauseous and dizziness and vomiting also decreased. But his food choices didn't change much. He still can only consumed nothing but apple.

Wearing a shirt, jacket, jeans and his old sneakers, Ryaa was ready to move. His determination already reached it's peak hearing the word 'cash price' earlier. Not only did his mood becomes light but he also doesn't seems to have mood swings even how irritated his inner self are.

"Let's get moving"

YaYa is sitting in Ryaa's shoulder while tapping the screen as they are trailing the path outside the apartment.

"We're going to Danmei Hospital where Dr. Hindelr is working on. And the system already signed an appointment for your check up in order for you not to queue too much in line"

"Wow that was so considerate, I have to thank that system for making my mission too easy"

Hearing this, YaYa shrugged in return.

"Well, I can't say that for sure"

The excitement filled over Ryaa's face that he cannot be bothered by what YaYa said. This is the first time where he won't have to work his butt out just to earn money for living expenses.

"By the way, how much money do you think I'll received when the mission ended? Will it be a hundred or a thousand? Or maybe a hundred thousand?"

YaYa rised her left brow in disbelief.

"Host, your a money hunger, you know. You still didn't even started your mission yet your already thinking about money, how good are you?"

"Hmmp. You don't understand what poverty means, do you?"

"True, I don't that's why I asked. Anyway, this Memory Chapter may seems to be more easy than I expected. Usually, it takes half a day to finished a single chapter memory but for Dr. Hindelr, wow, only a several couple of hours. That was a time breaker"

Outside the apartment building, Ryaa waved a taxi. He carefully sat on the backseat and close the door. The driver looked at him from the rearview mirror and was asked for destination.

"Danmei Hospital please"

Ryaa grab his phone and feigning like he tapped something on then place it into his ears. Since he thought that talking to a system which no one can see but him maybe a little too close to being called a lunatic, thus, he pretended to be on phone call.

YaYa was watching over at him. A questionable look formed in her face.

"What are you doing. Whom are you calling?"

Ryaa whispered in return "What do you think? Do you want me to be called lunatic because I'm talking to myself?"

She slightly tilted her head and crossed her arms.

"Uhuh!?..... Oh, by the way, I was notified by the system that the 'Selected Character' was forcefully ejected. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because, the system detected a threat from him"

"Threat?"

"Yes, When a Selected Character is forcefully ejected, they usually experience a real-time nightmare in which they didn't witness or cannot let go in the past. When that happens, the Selected Character will either be banned from the list or will given a warning"

"How did you know"

"I was watching it last night. The system send me a copy in order to get updated.... But in Dr. Hindelr's case, since he didn't directly point the weapon into the system but only on high alert, that's why he was given a warning and was forcefully ejected"

"Forcefully ejected? Is that even possible? Is 'it' too sensitive?"

"Why, yes. The system is highly sensitive over something like threat. They usually don't pardoned whom those committed a crime unless it's reasonable"

"What will happen to him?"

"Depending on how things will end for the Selected Character and how he will undergo such things over and over again"

The ride was smooth but Ryaa seems to be slightly uncomfortable that he felt getting sick. He gentle rub his belly and tried to maintain his focused.

YaYa notice the slight changes in Ryaa's complexion that she can't help getting worried.

"Host, are you okay? Is something wrong?"

Ryaa wave his hand into the air "I'm fine, it's nothing. Then, what about banning a character?"

Before replying, Yaya open up the screen and pressed a heart shaped button. She flew into Ryaa's abdomen and started scanning.

"Hmm. I don't know. I never witness anything like banning a character before but from my highly intelligent brainwaves, they will likely be trapped inside the dream.."

While waiting, YaYa put her finger under her chin while looking above " There are two types of punishment that is severed for them. One is the Lucid Dreamer and what does it called again?... Abbo something or Abby... Abby... that's right it's Abyss Nightmare"

Ryaa slightly took a glance at YaYa's side. Knitting his brows together he asked  "What are those?"

"Lucid Dreamer is for those who didn't commit a crime but was punished due to the act of changing the past. While Abyss Nightmare is like what happened to Dr. Hindelr, a crime for threatening the system"

When the scanning was done, a notification flashed into the screen.

Health Check Complete

Status: Normal

After confirming the safety of the fetus, YaYa flew back to Ryaa's side.

Dwelling his mind, Ryaa said "Lucid Dreamer, Abyss Nightmare. They sound the same"

"Might be but actually not. Lucid Dreamer is actually a very simple yet confusing than the Abyss Nightmare because they have the chance to change the past of their own freewill"

Ryaa was a bit astonished but quickly composed himself back when he saw the driver looking at him confusedly.

He immediately avoided the gaze of the old man while pretending to look at the outside with his voice lowered down.

"Can they really change the past?"

YaYa ignored the action as she continue playing a game on screen.

"Sure they do. When a Selected Character awakens their soul when they're still inside the gateway of the past, they have what it calls to be a free-consciousness. To be exact they will know whether they're in a real world or not. If that happens, the system has to take action immediately"

"Will they also have to be banned?"

"Not really. Lucid Dreamer is  just like having a nightmare in a daily basis but not the same as the the Abyss Nightmare. A character who experience Lucid Dream have to fight for their own consciousness to woken up on their own or with the help of someone in the real world. Just like having a sleep paralysis"

"What about the Abyss Nightmare. Do they also have a chance to come out?"

"Not likely. Abyss Nightmare is the complete opposite of Lucid Dreamer. Once trapped, there's no turning back. Their body in the real world will considered be dead as their time was fully shut. Time goes by and their body will suffocate and won't function anymore. By the end of the day, their body and soul will completely deteriorated and separate from each other"

"Do you mean they have to die separately?"

"Tragically yes. In order to avoid the arise of conjunction, the system need to keep close of the fact that they're having a will of turning back the time. If it's to spread, those who participated this event will likely be the subject of experiment and causes of endless war..... You know, countless of greedy people wanted to go back in time in order to change the past"

"Aren't 'they' meant to kill a character? It's unreasonable enough for them to do such cruelty. Your system is like a murderer"

"What do you know? It's just like Survival of the Fittest. If they become reckless of their own actions, they have to suffer from the consequences. And it's not like the system did something to harm them. They just have to received what they sow and more importantly, a Selected Character don't weight much value compared to a host. But worry not, even if they are to be trapped inside a dream, there soul will most likely forgotten their memories of everything. They're like a moving object without direction"

Ryaa paused a silence. His thoughts is already wondering about how he even ended up with a system. He look at the outside world, all things came and end with a reason thus, Ryaa subconsciously blurted out "Wow, sounds tormenting to me. Though, if I were to choose, I'd rather be trapped in a dream than remember those unpleasant things back again"

A snap was cut within her ears as a wave of shocked form into YaYa's face that it turn her pale as the way she is.

"What? No way, don't you know how dangerous and complicated it is? Abyss Nightmare only belongs to the old demise"


PENSAMENTOS DOS CRIADORES
abunjhing abunjhing

I'm sorry for a very very slow update. I'll try to update as much as possible in a week

Capítulo 7: 7

A face of horror somehow displayed in YaYa's face. The matter about the system is quite complicated compared to what it looks like.

All parts of it, from codes, programs, to how it operates on their own. Compared to robots which have a physical form, a system is highly sensitive to viruses, hacking and network manipulation.

Ryaa wasn't sure of how to react. Infact, even if YaYa didn't say anything about the Abyss Nightmare and Lucid Dreamer, she herself is already enough to prove the complicated social of a system. Moreover, her visible appearance that no one could see except him.

Not long after the journey, the taxi stops at the entrance of the hospital.

"We've arrived"

Ryaa paid out the fair by card. The remaining amount in his account wasn't enough to feed him by the end of the week. In addition to that, not only he himself are going to eat but also a baby parasite inside him that's been growing uncontrollably every second.

The driver swipe the card and handed back the card to Ryaa's hand.

When he was about to get out of the car, the driver spokes to him.

"Young man, if you have a little chance of what it seems to be the only way to get rid of what stuck in your heart, let it go" With a smile form within the driver's dried lips and wrinkled eyes, he continue "If only I got the chance as you do, I'll gladly let them all go and start with a new"

Ryaa didn't butter up but only looking at the driver's expression. There's sadness, guilt, regret and grief in his eyes but the only thing that Ryaa notice is that the driver's smile is a soulless one.

He doesn't know what the driver means by his words but it actually hit him hard. Not only did he not let go of his hatred but also promise himself of not wanting to be the same as the past.

Ryaa weakly smiled back and said "I don't understand what you mean Sir but even if I was given the chance, I won't let it go"

He took the card and lightly squeeze in it then continued "But it doesn't mean I can't be happy"

Finally, before closing the door, he bowed at the driver that instantly nodded back at him and wave his hand.

The taxi is already far out of his sight but the words remain in his mind.

["If only I got the chance as you do, I'll gladly let them all go and start with a new"]

Let it go, Ryaa clenched his fist, no one was there to help him when he suffered, no one was there when he needs a shoulder to cry, no one was there when the pain is unbearable, no one was there when his body started to get rotten and numb. All of this he suffered it alone in a room that seems to be a prison instead of a comfortable space. It was a hell in appearance of heaven.

Looking at the bright sky and a flourish sun, he took a step in to the hospital.

In the lobby, Ryaa already saw a long line of people queuing up in the administration and counter section. Danmei Hospital is not only known for it's name without a purpose. Not only because it is fully equipped with high-end technologies, complete facilities but also each personnel working in this establishment are all professionals that regards more about their patients without gibe. They tend to attend any of patients in or out. Even those whom only gone for a check up had been thoroughly served, politely and rightfully with respect.

Unlike any other hospitals, Danmei Hospital is also and mostly known for the beauty of each working personnel gathered in one place. From nurses, care givers, to doctors; all of them can be on par with a celebrity or even a model.

Ryaa intimidatingly sit on a vacant couch next to him. This is his first time entering such hospital. Looking around the area, it doesn't much resembles a hospital, rather, it's much more of a house that made him feel an awe. The decorations, style, even from smallest details such as wallpapers, lightnings and paintings, plants of different species and size, tables that even the chair he's been sitting on, they're all have a homey-vibe that no one would actually believe it was a hospital from the inside.

But the weirdest part in this hospital or probably the most noticable one upon entering is a large painting in the above middle below a glimmering chandelier facing the entrance that attached inside a fiber glass. The painting is oddly specific as it was big crown with a pumpkin inside and a sleeping baby on top. It's color is a vibrant orange mixed with gold as ornaments and scattered candies surrounded by for it to look even more dazzling and eye-catching.

Ryaa stares at the painting or more likely at the sleeping baby. Somehow, a very familiar sense suddenly ignited. As his eyes glued only to the baby on top, Ryaa didn't notice a man is already sitting beside him.

"Cute isn't? He was called a 'Miracle Baby' "

The man smiled but as if Ryaa didn't hear anything at all that he remain looking at the painting.

Embarrassment filled the man's face as he cleared his throat and spoke once again.

"Do you know why this painting is the only one with a special regard even though most of the paintings here are worth money?"

By this time, Ryaa turn around and instantly almost spit his own spit after knowing the person sitting beside him.

"Dr. Hindelr?"

His startled face causing Hindelr to chuckle adorably "Oh, you know me?"

"Well... It was written in your name plate"

Pointing out by his long thin, pale finger, Ryaa thought to himself [I can't say I personal know you from my past life]

"Oh.. I see"

"First time here?"

Ryaa nodded.

"I see. All first timer here usually stare at that painting. Maybe you didn't know but this hospital may seem fancy and luxury that common people are afraid to go here thinking the cost might be too much for them, but in reality, it is all just a wrap"

Hindelr didn't blink as he keep staring of the painting. His complexion is a bit down and lost.

[He seems to be in a low spirit. Is he alright?]

Before this, there was even a rumor that the hospital was designed this way solely because the family of Danmei Hospital made it as a tribute of the deceased family member.

It was said that the baby died when it was about to reach 9 months old due to a fire incident.

"This building used to be a mansion that was supposed to be a gift to that 'Miracle Child' but since that 'accident' occured 21 years ago, they decided to turn it into a hospital to cover up the grief of their loss"

Ryaa isn't the type to actually be interested in the inside story of anything. Infact, nothing seems to attract his interest in a different level. Though, he is a good listener, he is not a good adviser. He only likes to listen but never to speak out words of wisdom nor comfort, if possible he would be willingly to speak out what is on his mind.

As he was waiting for a reaction, Hindelr broke a laugh as he saw Ryaa looking at him with a dead eyes followed by a words he never expected to hear.

"What is his name?"

Hindelr was surprised with the question. No one living in this city can forget the biggest tragedy befall upon that family.

"What?"

"The baby..... What is the baby's name"

"Oh" Hesitation was written all over the Hindelr's face. The thought of voicing out the name of his beloved brother gives him uneasy feeling. But despite this, he uttered the name with a loving tone "Dýně... Danville Dýně"

"Pumpkin?"

"Yes? You speak Czech?"

"Not really but I know a thing or two"

"I see. Anyway what are you doing here?"

"Check up"

"Do you feel any discomfort?"

"Not likely but I was told to do so"

"Right"

Hindelr look at his wrist watch in disappointed "Guess my time is up. Catch you up later, still got a lot of patients waiting. Bye"

"Yes, see you soon"

Hindelr didn't know the meaning behind those words as he just trade his way until he vanished from Ryaa's sight.

An hour already had pass but Ryaa's name still wasn't called. As the clock continue to run, Ryaa somehow started to felt drowsy. He slightly closed his eyes and lean his back into the chair, crossing both his arms together, Ryaa unknowingly fall asleep.

When he open his eyes, he is now laying in a comfort bed. Though not big enough but it still fit his size.

First thing comes in his view is a full white surrounding with a curtain that covers half of the glass window.

[Where am I?]

He started to get up but was caught in the middle when the curtain flew as Hindelr step in.

"Your awake"

He pass a cup of herbal tea into Ryaa's hand and drag a chair next to him.

"I never thought that we'd meet again"

Ryaa only humm in return "Where am I?"

He looked at the cup with a little flower floating in it before sipping in.

"Obstetric Department"

Ryaa spit our the tea as well as Hindelr stood up worriedly as he gently tap Ryaa's back.

"Are you okay? Is the tea doesn't taste good?"

Coughing several times, Ryaa rise his hand and said " Yes, I'm fine. The tea is good I was only shocked for a moment"

A long sighed of relief was made before Hindelr return to his seat.

"So what brings you here? You know this department is only for pregnant women, right?"

Ryaa didn't speak nor look at Hindelr. His head remain stoop afraid to say anything.

Seeing this, Hindelr continue " I was shocked as to why your name is listed as one of my patients. At first, I thought you were with your wife but only registered your name but I remember you were only with your child so I thought I might misread it"

"A child?"

Ryaa becomes confused. He doesn't remember bringing a child along with him nor having a child living with him. And it's mostly like impossible for him to give birth in such a shortest period of time. Then who is this child?

But on the second thought, the moment he entered the hospital, Ryaa doesn't seem to noticed YaYa's presence near him as if she disappeared without a trace. Just then, he vague remembered a little girl sitting next to him. He doesn't give her a second glance since he doesn't have any interest to do so. And in the end, it was YaYa all along.

"Yes, a little girl about 3-4 years old. Is she not your child?"

There is no explanation on how he will make up a story. Ryaa isn't good at making lies nor have the habit of creating tales to deceived. But the situation is too critical to deny. He cannot simply utter a word that can trigger the system that might result to unimaginable event. Thus, without a choice, Ryaa could only swallow his guilt and embrace the accusations.

"Right, I mean, she is with me. By the way, where is she"

"I told a nurse to play with her for a bit"

"Oh, I see. Sorry for the trouble "

"How old is she?"

"Hah???....."

Hindelr hit the bomb. Ryaa was in total freeze. One white lies turn into two in only a couple of seconds and now how is he supposed to cover it up? How is he supposed to know how old a system is. A hundred? thousand? Will someone believe him if he says that child is a mutant? To come up an age where he doesn't even know how tall is she; this is like cutting a flesh with a pine leaf.

But since Hindelr already estimated her appearance maybe he could make used of it.

"3 near 4"

"What is her name? She looked like a foreign"

"Her name... Her name is YaYa and she's of a mixed blood"

The more Hindelr asked the more guilt Ryaa felt.

"No wonder. So, what brings you here? Why are you listed, where's your wife?"

The time has come, Ryaa hesitated to speak. His lips somehow unable to utter a word like it was gluey and his heart started to beat faster. Due to his unexplainable body condition, he cannot simply open it up to anybody else. His body condition is globally rare that it is impossible to happen in real life but since Hindelr is the one who takes care of him in the past, it might be a lesser burden. But the thing is, the past is past but the present is different.

Hindelr patiently waiting for an answer as pile of questions had been stuck in his head since last night. Questions of either he wanted an answer or find it out on his own.

But seeing the trembling hands of Ryaa that reminded him of his terrible dream, Hindelr didn't pursue knowing anything. He tried reaching out his hand but hesitated for a second before finally, gentle holding Ryaa's hand soothing in out by caressing it carefully.

"Don't force yourself if you don't want to, I won't asked anymore"

Even though a disappointment is placed in his handsome face, Hindelr was hoping to know a little of this man. Even the tiniest bit would be enough to know. Perhaps his age, address or anything in common, it doesn't have to be personal or open as long as it involves him. But surprisingly Hindelr received more than what he hope for.

"I... I don't have a wife..  but I... I"

Clenching his hands, Ryaa closed his eyes not ready to accept any criticism and humiliation at any time. Despite being a man and despite hiding his condition to everyone even to his parents, this is his first time opening it up by himself. Even in the past, he never have the courage to speak a word about his body that even Kian himself didn't know. It was only until Hindelr manage to pinpoint the truth when he is already conceiving a child.

"You...."

Ryaa takes his full courage in one go. This is a gamble after all. All of his efforts in saving it will finally be spoken to. At this moment, Ryaa looked straight at Hindelr's eyes with his determination at full  stake, he said "Dr. Hindelr, have you ever heard anything about a condition called Double Constitution?"

Momentarily, Hindelr was all silent. The urge to know more is almost killing him from the inside. How can a man know such thing? It wasn't even reported to the news nor being a topic in public, how come? But Hindelr only calmed down his inner self and uttered "Yes...." With. Long paused, he followed " Are you?"

Ryaa cannot hide it anymore. He started it himself. He slowly nodded his head while avoiding the coming gaze. Uncertain of how to describe his situation by words that doesn't affect the judgement of the people inside.

"I... Am"

"Don't tell me..."

Ryaa didn't speak but lower his head instead. The red face shows embarrassment and awkwardness that he started to embrace himself.

"Since when?"

Hindelr is not as shocked as Ryaa thought and supposed to be but rather calm and composed. As a professional doctor he already encountered numerous kind of condition in every patients in daily basis. As a matter of fact, he already thought of things like this the moment he saw Ryaa's name in his patient's list. It's just that he isn't fully aware that he'll face this kind of situation in his lifetime.

"I.. I'm not sure"

"Okay. First let's do a pregnancy test"

He walk to his cabinet near his desk and took a kit on it. He pass it down to Ryaa "I suppose you know how to use a PT right?"

"Yes"

"Get in the toilet and do it inside"

Ryaa hesitatingly enter the toilet while looking at the PT on hand. If he were going to used it, his condition will be formally known by someone for the first time. It's not like he wished to keep it a secret forever since he never thought of creating a family with a woman rather than a man.

Minutes passed before Ryaa get out of the toilet.

"How was it"

He passed down the PT revealing a two red lines on it.

"As expected. Come I'll do another check for you"

"For what?"

"I'm trying to figure out if you can withstand the future growth of the fetus inside your body. You seem like too frail and weak"

Hindelr lead Ryaa back to the bed. He gently lay down and obediently didn't move. Hindelr's preparing the apparatus. He then   slightly remove Ryaa's clothe from the stomach and smear off a gel.

The process takes about an hour and a half doing every test. Now he is sitting infront of Hindelr waiting for him to tell the final results.

"Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes" Ryaa nodded. He personally doesn't like children but it does mean he hates them, it's just that he have a bitter taste hearing their laugh, smile and cry. Moreover, the child they're talking to is not just any child but his own child. Even if he doesn't like them, he still cannot bring himself to harm an innocent being just because of his recklessness and selfish act.

Hindelr didn't pursue the case anymore. He took off his glasses, looking straight to Ryaa and speak.

"I can see that your womb is much smaller than a woman's but actually enough for the fetus to grow from the early stage. Though, you might face some complications in the future, as the baby grows you might experience constant pain and aches from your abdomen but it is only natural so just endure it. Your body will slowly adopt the changes but it doesn't mean you will be careless of yourself. Your body might expand but it also means that your skin will go thin.  As the fetus grow, there will be a high risk of miscarriage  specially when you're at your 1st trimester. I advise you to double your caution and carefulness. Do not eat unnecessary in-takes.  I'll prescribe you vitamins for you and your child. A light exercise will do but don't over do it. You have to do a following check up every month to monitor your health and conditions. By the meantime, please inform your parents or the father of that child so than someone can take care of you better"

The last words felt like a dagger pierced though his heart, Ryaa didn't know if it is the sign mockery or insult. Two words that cannot be said in one sentence. He laugh for himself. He never once thought he could hear the word 'family' again. This word is like a cursed to him that haunt him wherever he is. Even if he flew overseas and forget those things, they never leave him be. He struggled to survive leaving the terrible state away from his family. What's more, the so-called 'father' of his child is a bastard that killed him in his past life. A bastard that only uses his body for pleasure and lust. A bastard who he thought that will give him warmth but actually only served him sufferings and pain. He doesn't have a family other than himself. He doesn't have a partner other than himself, other than the baby inside him. Maybe this child's presence is a blessing in disguise instead of a mistake that will change and  accompany him throughout the life.


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