Capítulo 22: The Legend
I removed my Ray-Bans and, with a grimace, wiped them and my face clean before putting them back on and looking around.
"Fucking great," I sighed in annoyance as my now cleared vision took in my blood-drenched clothes and messy handiwork, "I'm fucking rustier than I thought."
In my eagerness to cause maximum suffering, I had coated the whole alleyway in blood and guts. Knowing I couldn't leave this for Vought to find, I began my best attempt at a clean-up.
After 30 minutes, I stood back to observe my progress and was left flabbergasted and filled with even more frustration. My forensic countermeasures were as effective as soaking up the ocean with a paper towel.
In a time frame that would allow Vaught to erase the existence of the entire block, I had only managed to hide the dismembered corpse under a discarded dirty tarp. It was still very obvious that an extremely gruesome and disturbing murder took place.
'Fuck it, I'll have The Legend deal with this.'
Sourly throwing the last of the pedo-extraordinaire with the rest of his flesh, I decided to move the surrounding dumpsters towards the alley entrance. That way, for at least a few hours, my modern art would be undisturbed.
~Are you ok, Sir?~ Jamie hesitantly questioned from his position over Dawn as I dusted my hands and admired my ingenuity.
"I'm fine, Jamie. Sometimes, you need a good kill to unwind and grease the old gears. However, If you are upset about the eyes, I would quit pouting now. After the way the fucker looked at Dawn, they were mine." I stoically replied as I strolled over to give the Impala a thorough inspection, only letting out a small smile of relief when I noticed that the damage was contained to the dent on her side.
~Forgive my insolence, Master Ben. I would never dream of taking what is rightfully yours. Every man, woman and child should be honoured to offer you their eyes as a tribute to your divine power.~ Jamie responded reverently before adopting a disgusted tone. ~Besides, his eyes were too lecherous for my liking, Sir.~
I paused at his very odd reply and coughed uncomfortably under his gaze before choosing to ignore it for now.
'I'm sure he's just a passionate little guy, and nothing will come of this…'
"Either way, very soon, you will be swimming in more eyes than you could imagine. This city needs to be cleansed, and for every bastard, there are two eyes that need to fill your gut," I quipped as I turned to give a playful wink to the hamster, who squeaked in delight whilst flying energetically around Dawn.
'Why was I even worried about this cute fella.'
With a small smile, I turned back towards the car and whispered gently, "I'll fix you up after dealing with some business, Baby."
'Now, how the fuck am I getting in that building looking like this.'
With my current appearance, my initial plan of simply walking into the lobby of The Legend's hotel was no longer an option. I didn't care about what people thought. However, I doubt I wouldn't be front page news if I entered in this state.
'Hopefully, they didn't bother changing the layout of this place."
Giving a final pat to Baby's hood, I picked up Dawn, let Jamie snuggle back into my jacket with Pixie and made my way to what used to be a servant's entrance.
'Thank god for fire regulation laws.'
Fortunately, the entrance was still there, and besides some modern implementations for safety, the place barely differed.
'Time for me to meet an old friend.'
I broke the door's lock and made my way up the stairs, carefully walking in the camera's blind spots.
'I don't have the patience to deal with a small-time security officer dreaming of his Paul Blart moment.'
It didn't take me long to reach my destination, as the sounds of groaning and moaning were a great navigational tool.
With a smile of anticipation, I stepped onto the floor of Penthouse Four.
'Sleazy fuck always said he liked the number four because it rhymes with whore.'
With the good old days on my mind, I walked to the apartment door and knocked.
"Who is it? I'm fucking busy here!!" Shouted a man whilst grunting.
"It's me. Open the fucking door, Blarney," I said impatiently.
Blarney Nurse, AKA The Legend, went quiet at my response. Suddenly, the sound of a woman squealing at being thrown onto the floor was quickly followed by some scrambling and then the door swinging open and a shotgun appearing in front of my face.
"I'll ask you once and only once, who the fuck are you? How do you know that name? And why should I not paint that wall behind you a nice shade of red?"The Legend said as he threateningly pumped his favourite movie memorabilia, the High Standard K-1200 riot shotgun from the 1972 film The Getaway.
It was hardly as imposing as he probably intended. After all, an almost 70-year-old man wearing nothing and sporting a hard-on doesn't really inspire fear, especially when his weapon of choice, no matter how interesting, wouldn't even tickle me.
Tired of running, fighting and talking, my response to his baseless threat was to look him in the eye through my glasses and wait for the reaction I knew would come.
"I asked you a fucking question, so answer it if you want to live. You have some real chutzpah coming here and messing with stuff y…." The Legend began spitting in anger before going quiet in disbelief.
'There it is.'
His face went pale, his eyes widened in shock, and he leaned in close. What followed was an unassuming everyday name escaping his mouth, "..Ben?"
"No, it can't be you. What the fuck did O.D put in my Viagra. That fucker better not be experimenting on me..." The Legend rambled to himself, unable to process my presence.
'This is taking too long.'
Having had enough of the charade, I ignored his blabbering, grabbed the gun and chucked it in the corner of the room as I walked past his dumbfounded face.
"It's me, now get over it, cover that wrinkled eyesore and sit the fuck down," I stated before making myself comfortable in a chair. All the while ensuring that Dawn was tightly against my chest so she would not touch the floor or what I was sitting on.
'If times haven't changed, this place is probably encrusted in layers of semen, drugs and blood.'
With a look of disbelief, Blarney nodded, grabbed a nearby blanket to cover his privates, walked to the sofa and sat down.
"But how? You're dead. Everyone knows you're dead. Are you a clone? I know they were working on that stuff before I left. No, that doesn't explain your memories," Blarney questioned in a confused manner as he stared at me.
"Before I tell you anything, get rid of her," I said whilst casually pointing at the nude figure of Gal Gadot, who was staring at the situation in confusion.
'A surprise to see someone from my old world in this position.'
Blarney looked confused for a second before realisation set in, and he turned to Gadot, "You heard the man. Get out."
Gadot gave him a disgruntled look but said nothing in response and simply grabbed her stuff and ran out of the apartment.
"She's a beautiful woman. Too bad she can't act for shit," Blarney said as he began lining up some coke for him and me, "You want a go? She's a feisty one. Especially since she's trying to land a role as Rosa Parks, I find it odd that she wants it, but I won't stop her from getting cancelled. It'll make her desperate for more."
I didn't reply, as a part of me was still shocked at seeing such a prominent married actress demeaning herself.
A headache quickly arose that made me lose my train of thought. Shaking my head at whatever nonsense I had been thinking about, I reached for the hidden whiskey cabinet underneath the coffee table.
'With The Legend, I can't get comfortable. I'll have to be just cruel enough for him not to take advantage.'
His eyes followed me and widened in panic when I grabbed a bottle hidden in the back titled "The Macallan 1926".
"I don't think that would be to your taste, Ben. There's a nicer bottle in th…."Blarney began but went silent and winced in pain as I broke the seal and poured myself a generous amount into a glass.
I then took another glass, poured an equal amount into it and slid the liquid gold towards the disheartened man before me.
With a single tear dripping down his face, he took his glass in shaking hands and sipped on it reverently.
As he savoured his drink, I took my Ray-Bans off, allowed Jamie to jump out of my coat into my lap and locked my golden eyes with a shocked Blarney.
"We have some catching up to do," I stated as I began stroking the head of a purring Jamie and downed my whiskey in one go.
'Time for me to be the prick he expects me to be.'
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Authors note
Hi everyone, sorry for the hiatus. I was dealing with many personal issues alongside some writer's block. I have edited some of the previous chapters, as some readers correctly pointed out that it looked like Dawn was teleporting in and out of his arms 😂. Sorry again for my absence, and I hope you continue reading what I offer. This will be the first of the many chapters I owe you guys. Lastly, any suggestions for the story will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
M.M Inferyes
PENSAMENTOS DOS CRIADORES 
MM_Inferyes
MM_Inferyes Fun fact: The comic counterpart of The Legend, known as "Old Legend", is a parody of Stan Lee.
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