Capítulo 68: When love turns to hate
Blake pov
Looking at the state of Lappland who suddenly entered the room , I knew that something serious had happened . Her wet , torn and dirty , blood-stained clothes bore the marks of fight, her blank expression with those fog-lost eyes , signaled to me her current mental state . Without thinking , I wanted to approach her and help but Lappy suddenly slap my hand .
Before I even had time to realize what had happened Lappland already grabbed my neck with her strong grip . Looking into her eyes I saw shrunken pupils in her bloodshot eyes . Lappland's breaths were uneven causing her to growl as air passed through her clenched teeth .
Whatever happened , I could sense the fatigue in her grip on my neck . Because even though her nails dug into my skin , causing me pain in the process , I knew very well that Lappland with her full strength would have been able to simply rip out my entire throat , and even my aura would not help with that . My aura at least prevented my neck from being directly crushed or twisted , but Lappland's strength was enough to choke me .
Being in a sudden shock and panic caused by Lappland's behavior , I let her gain the upper hand in pushing me back , but immediately after that , before I fell over , I subconsciously hit her in the face with all my strength . And to my surprise my hand met no resistance when it smashed into Lappland's chin , cutting her lip in the process .
' I actually ..... I hurt her ? '
I think looking in shock as Lappy after that one blow , let go of me and staggered backwards with wobbly steps , eventually hitting her back against the wall , which she then leaned on . Lappland was panting even louder as the blood from her lip dripped onto the floor along with her saliva . Looking at her weakened state I felt terrible about what I had done . But everything that was happening now was so sudden that I was not able to think , especially since Lappland had also hurt me .
" Lappland , is everything okay ? . "
I say worried. Yes I know that Lappland attacked me and caused a threat to my life however .... I already hurt her once when she was weak . I can deal with her now without using direct violence on her . If she forces me I will knock her down and hold her like my mother always did .
Lappland : " HaHaHAhHAHAHAHAHA I will kill you .... I hate you ... Hahahaha... I hate "
Said Lappland in a brittle and quiet voice interspersed with her laughter , which like her voice was breaking down . Looking at me with tears in her eyes Lappland wiped the fresh blood from her lip then pushing away from the wall she started limping , with visible pain , towards me .
Lappland: " You had to .... You had to destroy it all ? My only hope for a peaceful and normal life ?????? For the first time I was not afraid to get attached to someone ..... I wasn't afraid of being betrayed ... But you had to HaHaHAhAhaHAha "
Hearing these words coming from her mouth , wihch were sobbing with pain , I froze . Giving Lappy the opportunity to hit me with a perfect hook right on the chin . That one perfect punch despite the aura knocked me off my feet . After the blow I felt a sudden pain on my chin which made me stagger backwards with disorientation and ringing in my ears , eventually stumbling I fell with my butt on the bed . However, Lappland due to her own strength and instability also sank to the ground .
But it was , this blow that made me realize the strength and precision that remained in Lappland's punches , while showing me that even with my protective aura , holding Lappland , without hurting her or myself would not be so easy . Supporting myself with my hands behind me , with blurred vision , I saw Lappland struggling to get up from the floor , but the moment my vision returned to normal , I saw Lappland sobbing , with her hands supporting her body above the ground .
Blake : " ..... "
I could not say anything , so I silently stood up and wanted to go over and help her , but Lappy suddenly broke from her position and stood up high enough to grab my right hand , then with her help she pulled me down at the same time pulling herself higher up . I could not react to this because I had to use my own strength to make sure I did not fall to the floor . But Lappy grabbing my other left hand , thus blocking my only defense , opened her mouth wide with the intention of biting my throat .
At this emergency , I panicked and using my strength I pulled my left hand out of Lappland's grip , thus putting it in front of her mouth . The moment Lappland's teeth closed on the outer part of my hand , I felt a sudden , throbbing and intense pain in my hand . This pain was so strong that I did not even feel the moment when Lappland pulling my hair caused me to fall to the ground with her .
Taking a position above me Lappland did not stop biting my hand . If not for Lappland's tired state , I'm sure I would have lost that hand . But looking at the fact that Lappland's mouth completely closed on it , causing intense bleeding I knew I had to be careful . Sitting on my stomach , Lappland continued to hold one of my hands in her mouth , which I used to push her head back . At the same time my other hand , fought against Lappland's strong grip trying to break free .
However , seeing the movements of Lappland's other , free hand , I again felt threatened . But I did not let myself get carried away by my emotions . I could have pushed her away or simply used more force to win against her . However, I didn't want to hurt her . But this decision gave Lappland enough time to put her free hand on my face pressing my head to the ground . Then Lappy with her head , in the mouth of which was still my hand , start pulling back .
Blake : " Lappy !!!!!!! I beg you , stop !!!!! You will tear my hand off .... I'm sorry ... Fuckkkkk ..... it hurts ....!!!!! "
I wailed in pain , feeling Lappland slowly tear off part of my hand . But to her lack of reaction , my body feeling the intense threat , with intense force , pushed the weakened Lappland off me . And then sitting down on her stomach , with my hand still trapped in her mouth , I pushed , with the same hand , Lappland's head to the floor just as she did me . And then pulling my right hand out of her grasp , I caught her hand pushing it against her chest , which was rapidly falling and rising signaling Lappland's breathing pattern .
Of course Lappland used her free hand to grab my neck , but her single small hand no longer impressed me . Feeling Lappland's teeth clamp down even harder on my hand I clenched my teeth in pain . Looking into Lappland's weeping eyes I saw them shine with a silver light , they were no longer as clouded and mad as before however the fury , anger and hostility flowing in them was even greater than the one she had always shown to Adam . And I guess that hurt me so much that I even stopped feeling the pain in my hand . On the other hand I understand her.
' I love her and yet again we do it ..... No ... it's me doing it again . Lappland never defended herself against me even when I attacked her . I hurt her then but she did not defend herself . And I am fighting with her ... Again hurting her in the process '
Thinking about this I realized how these situations were similar . And how my behavior was different from Lappland . At that moment I wanted to let go and let Lappland do what she wanted. But Mom's words were the only motivation to keep trying to stop her .
' I love her , I hurt her , I betrayed her , I abandoned her ..... I do not deserve forgiveness and her feelings . That's why even when she hates me and wants to kill me ..... I will continue to love her and that's why I won't let her kill me , it will be too easy and too fast for me as a punishment . '
With this determination, I drew Lappland's hand from her chest closer to her side, so that I could push on that hand with my knee, immobilizing it. Then with my free hand I proceeded to try to free my hand from Lappland's mouth. Her mouth was like a vice so out of desperation I hit Lappa's head on the floor to make her lose consciousness . This hurt me more emotionally than physically but I couldn't let Lappland hurt me , for my mother's sake .
Feeling this Lappland let go of my throat and instead put her hand on my face , trying to hurt me with her nails . I shook my head and avoided her attempts to poke her fingers into my eyes , nose and cheeks . There was a stalemate between us, which I was going to use to tire her out, but Lappland's growing irritation and anger fueled the madness in her eyes and after just a moment I felt her strength increase as her legs began to lift her hips, on which I sat , making me fall forward. Lappland took advantage of this , releas my hand from her mouth, only to release her hand from under my knee with a quick movement and then to take my neck under her armpit, locking me in a triangular lock on the ground.
I say closed because this position was uncomfortable for the two of us . My face was uncomfortably close to the ground , and Lappland herself also had no ability to strangle me like this , which made her go straight to crushing my neck . I wanted to do a flip to the side to somehow get away , but Lappland's legs wrapped around my hips like a snake . At that moment panic , fear and a sense of crisis momentarily eclipsed my compassion and guilt forcing me to clench my teeth .
'I'm sorry but you forced me ' .
I think knowing that I have never been a person good at fighting on the ground , so Lappy who is proficient in fighting forced me to gather all my strength to prop myself up with my healthy hand hard enough , so that I could send a few blind blows with my injured hand towards her .
Lappland: " I am not your property..... I am not your dog .... I trusted you by showing my own weakness ..... I shielded you with my own body from this world ... I showed you my back and you used it to stab me !!!!!! ..... And all this for this asshole , in what he is better than me !!!!! Why , my feelings and devotion meant nothing ... !!!!!!."
Lappland screamed with pain and anger . While I all this time , ineffectually hit her in the face . Of course I was in pain both physically because of the wound on my hand , and mentally because of what was happening . However , feeling the aura around my neck slowly weaken thus increasing the tension in my neck muscles , I changed my aim and began to hit with my elbow the area that appeared to be Lappland abdomen . Which gave some relief to my hand . However , Lappy did not remain unresponsive to my attacks , when suddenly a powerful blow struck my side .
As a person who avoids getting hit in a fight , Lappland's blow made me momentarily lose feeling in my entire abdomen , an unbearable tingling sensation combined with pain that almost made me vomit put me in an adrenaline-filled state . As I and my body knew that two more such blows , combined with the situation around my neck , would finally exhaust , thus brake my aura which would allow Lappland to easily kill me . So I forced myself to keep hitting her despite the pain .
And then suddenly Lappland's second strike on my ribs took my breath away , fortunately as if by some miracle my elbow hit a point on Lappa's abdomen . I felt that my elbow hit a small point harder than her normal skin . Was it her bone ? Or something else .... Eventually it made Lappland wail in pain and cry , giving me enough freedom from her grip to break free .
Moving away from Lappland I stood up and leaned on the bed . Looking at my bitten hand I saw a nasty wound . I don't know how deep the wound is , But Lappy for sure bit me all the way into the white bone , which I could see through the bleeding wound. This sight made me gasp , in a panic I looked at my Gambol Shroud which was lying next to Lappy blades on the other side of the bed ... I could have quickly reached for it , however my heart stopped me from doing this stupid thing . I knew that when I grabbed the blade , even without the intention of killing Lappland..... I will repeat the same mistake I have already made .
' Everything that is happening now ..... I caused it myself ... When I grab the blade ... I might as well give up my dreams . '
With this thought I looked back , only to saw Lappland getting up again . Her breathing was heavy , stubby and slow , just like her movements . Holding her abdomen , she looked into my eyes showing me what I had caused . A cut and bleeding lip , eyebrow above the right eye and bleeding nose . Seeing Lappland walking towards me in pain , I turned around to finally meet the situation I myself helped create .
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