Capítulo 14: He's too dangerous.
[TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide baiting, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations. PROCEED WITH CAUTION, PLEASE.]
*The next day, in Natsuki's POV*
"It's already afternoon.. Do I really have to drag my ass outside to go to the clubroom meeting..?" - I thought to myself, looking outside.
I let out a deep long sigh of frustration and then put on my uniform, which was still burnt and filled with dirt from the attack. I put my sketchbook in my bag and walked outside, making my way to school. I was late, but I didn't care.
I didn't have the courage to go to class, it was already mid period. I glanced at Atsui and then just walked upstairs to the clubroom, sitting on the bench in front of the door to enter it.
I looked around and saw no one, RTTC came out and I looked up at it, whispering: "...Even as a stand user.. I couldn't stand a damn chance.."
Suddenly, I heard footsteps to my left and RTTC disappeared, I looked over and saw Lily.
"Hey." - She waved.
"Why aren't you in class?" - I asked her as she sat down next to me.
"Didn't want to go. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Lily's gaze hardened when I answered her question.
"...Your expression says otherwise."
I was left speechless. If even she can tell I'm not okay, I'm doomed.. I sighed and admitted: "I'm just frustrated is all."
"About?"
"....I was there during the attack. I knew the attacker.. I was his target. And I'm frustrated I couldn't even stand a chance against him." - I started rambling, looking away.
"....Need a hug?"
I grew silent, but looked at her. I hugged her gently, looking away. I felt vulnerable, I hated that feeling. Somehow, around Lily, I felt some sort of safety.
I heard the bell and let go of Lily, students started filling the halls and walked past us to go home, and, in the middle of the crowd, I saw Monika and realized she saw me hugging Lily before going into the clubroom.
Me and Lily went into the clubroom as well, along with the other club members. Me and Lily sat down at the students' desks next to each other. I then took out my sketchbook and started doodling to try and distract myself from everything as I heard Monika speak: "Glad everyone is safe, how are you?"
I thought to myself: "How do you think I feel, Monika? That's a stupid question.", while realizing what I was drawing turned out to become Killer.Chr and his stand. I looked at his face and my eyes flashed red momentarily.
Sayori looked over at me while in the back of the clubroom, fiddling with the box of cupcakes I'd brought the day before. She then walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me from behind, which caused me to jolt and look behind me, annoyed.
"C-Calm down, Natsuki! It's just me." - Sayori reassured me in a soft tone. I let her hug me as I sighed in relief.
Meanwhile, Monika sat down at the teacher's desk and started to fidget with her keyboard until Atsui came up to her and whispered: "You sure you're okay? You can tell me anything.."
Monika sighed.
"I'm fine, Atsui.. Don't worry about me." - she whispered back and then turned to everyone - "Okay everyone! Did anyone bring a poem for today's meeting? It's completely fine if you didn't, given the circumstances.."
Atsui got nervous but sighed in relief as soon as Monika announced it wasn't really necessary today.
She (Monika) then turned to me and asked: "Natsuki.. Did you write anything?"
"...The answer should be obvious, shouldn't it?" - I asked her, looking her in the eyes, my eyes still flashing red.
"S-Sorry, I need a minute. Atsui take over for me, please? I need to take care of something in the principal's office." - Monika said, as a shiver went down her spine when she saw my eyes glowing red.
My eyes went back to normal, I grabbed my bag and went after her, grabbing her arm: "Hey, what's your deal? You're acting as if nothing happened yesterday."
Monika stopped and looked at me surprised, whispering: "Can we not do this right now?.."
She looked around, so did I as a crowd of students stopped to look at us as I grabbed her arm. I cleared my throat and let go of her.
"Where are you going? We need to talk!" - I said, as she walked away.
"Come to me when your attitude isn't as rough." - She said, not looking back.
I saw the crowd of students pass by me and held myself back from punching the wall.
I then went downstairs and went towards the principal's office, RTTC came out to see if anyone was inside, no one. Even the principal had gone home. I texted Monika: "Hey, where are you?"
The text was seen, I got even more frustrated, I walked out of school at that point, until my phone got a notification.
"Meet me at the school rooftop."
I looked up at the school rooftop, I hadn't gone past the gate yet so I jumped up in the air and landed on the rooftop. I looked to my right, there she was, staring into the sky.
*Monika's POV*
"So, what's gotten into you?" - I asked with my arms crossed.
"....Hey. There's something I gotta tell you.. But could you please not get mad at me?"
"You're a little late to ask me for that. I'm already annoyed."
She pulled out her keyboard and started typing, replying: "I figured.. Well, it's important anyways.. I didn't have the time to tell you yesterday so pay attention. I talked to Killer.Chr.."
"....Don't tell me you went to the void.."
She remained silent and showed me the footage.
" "...." - Killer.Chr backed away and said in a soft tone - "Why don't you look out the window, Monika?"
"Why, what's out there?" - She asked, looking out the window from afar.
"Closer."
She opened the curtains and looked into the void. Once she did, she started to feel overwhelmed. It was as if the void started entering her body through her eyes, corrupting her file slowly.
She started backing away, her face going from curious to afraid quickly. As she started backing away and got closer to the desk, Killer.Chr snapped his fingers and the curtains closed by command.
"Monika.. As I said, this is where I reside.. So remember, when I go into the game, here, it is ten times more dangerous."
"Y-Your stand.. It's the void, isn't it..? This entire place is part of your stand.. Except for where we are.."
She could see his smile growing, with that, she understood, his stand was not only inside the void.. It was the void itself. And it's presence was more than overwhelming, it would make someone go crazy from just looking at it.
"Y-You're demented.. YOU'RE AN UNIVERSAL THREAT!" - Monika shouted at him, not knowing what to do in his presence."
I looked at the footage and backed away, I felt my heart drop.
"Wh-What did he do to you?! His stand.. Why would you go there alone without telling me?!" - I asked her, even more nervous than I was before.
"...You know how the void works. If you're exposed to it, it corrupts your file.. I'm.. slightly corrupted."
"H-How can you be so calm in front of everyone when you.. you.. ARGH! YOU PUT ON A FAKE SMILE TO PREVENT ANYONE FROM WORRYING ABOUT YOU, THAT MAKES ME SO MAD." - I punched the wall, breathing heavily.
She flinched and let out a shaky sigh.
"What do you want me to do..? I'm supposed to be perfect, right? I didn't want anyone to know about this, and getting you or Atsui worried is the last thing I want.."
"...You're insensitive.. You asked me if I had written a poem, right? I was already on edge in the clubroom, I drew Killer.Chr back in the clubroom, that's why I was angry. That motherfucker traumatized me, and you still expected me to be up for activities? It was a damn sacrifice to even get out of bed this morning!" - I took a deep shaky breath and continued - "Atsui asked you if you were okay, and you getting out of the clubroom just gave away all the signs of: "I'm not okay, leave me alone!".
"I'm sorry.. I thought you would write as a type of coping mechanism.. I usually write poems to express my feelings, since speaking is harder for me at times than writing.."
I scoffed and replied: "Poetry might distract you from reality for a while but not for long.. He even managed to overpower YOU! I feel useless thinking that I can't even stand a chance against him, given I have a stand.. I'm pathetic, he's right, he's told me that more than a hundred times but I refused to believe it.."
"S-Stop it.. Just stop.. I know what I did.. I know what this has led to, you don't have to remind me! You think you're the only one struggling here, or have it the worst?!" - Monika thought to herself.
"And I can't even tell my dad, because guess what? I already know he's gonna tell me that I'm weak, and honestly, he's not even wrong about that! Even if I have gotten stronger and gained more power before I knew I was a hybrid, I still have my weaknesses." - I said, looking away with tears in my eyes.
Monika sighed and continued her train of thought: "Her father.. I have no say in this. I have so many issues that I can't let anyone know about.. Do you think I have the time to be hearing about this? Am I now forbidden from smiling through all this, like I always have? I've done it for as long as I can remember after all.. What do you know about me? You know nothing."
"I have to go home.. I'm already late." - I said, wiping my tears.
She sighed in relief as I jumped down, sprinting back home. She also walked home while the other club members did the same.
I opened the front door and closed it behind me softly. I looked over at the living room and didn't see my dad, I sat down on the couch as I was too busy to get my thoughts back together, saying: "I'm back.." - I sniffed the air and then turned to him, noticing he was in the kitchen - "Cooking..?"
"Welcome back. I'm making dinner for us. Uhm.. It's been a while since I actually made a meal around here, huh?" - Dadsuki replied.
"Heh.. sure has, Dad."
"So, did anything happen at school? I mean, anything dangerous that is."
"Well, not really.. Just a conversation I had with Monika."
"What did you two talk about?"
I sighed, answering: "Just that guy I told you about that made the destroyed village explode.. It's now a destroyed area.. And I'm just frustrated, you know? Like, I'm a hybrid, I'm a stand user. And still, he crushed my hope of even standing a chance against him in mere seconds..! I..I don't know what to do, I feel helpless! I'm only alive because Monika stepped in and saved me.. How am I supposed to keep my chin up when shit like this happens?!"
My dad put the stove on at a minimum frequency and turned to me as I walked up to him, leaning against the wall, looking away and replied: "Did you get killed?"
"No.. Monika prevented that from happening. I feel weak."
"Of course you feel weak. Monika was there to save you and that made you feel like you had no choice but to rely on her. Now, what would you do if no one was there to help you? There is no such thing as "I feel weak" in a life or death situation. What would you do then?"
"..Excuse me, but are you trying to tell me to use Killer.Chr as an ultimate test for my abilities? Don't make me laugh.. He is insane! He will do ANYTHING to ruin my life and to kill me while he's at it!"
"And what are YOU ready to do to save your own life..? How far are you planning to go to stop him?"
I smirked and replied: "I will go as far as I need to! My goal is to kill him. Whatever happens, I promised myself that I would do so. I will have his corpse right by my feet. And I WILL outlive him."
He then looked into my eyes, examining me like a hawk. I locked eye contact with him and crossed my arms.
"...Your arms are crossed, what are you trying to hide?"
"Nothing, why would you assume that? You know me well enough to know that if someone doubts me or underestimates me, I will get annoyed."
He smiled and commented: "Crossing your arms is a defense mechanism."
I smiled and uncrossed them, realizing he was messing with me.
He then continued: "By the way, don't blame me if this pasta ends up tasting like shit, I haven't cooked in a while."
"I'm sure it's not that bad, I will appreciate the effort anyway." - I smiled at him, sitting at the dinner table.
When dinner was ready, he served himself and me and we ate. It's been a while since I've had actual food at home so I was happy and so was my stomach. Being properly fed was something.. new to me. I ate fast, it was a habit from years ago, my dad wasn't even surprised, but instead happy that he didn't mess up.
When I finished, I said: "Hey uh.. I need to go to Sayori's place. Tell her about what happened and stuff. I'll be back in a few."
He replied: "Alright, see you soon." - He continued to eat, and I left the house.
I walked down the neighborhood until I reached Sayori's front gate. I opened it and then knocked on her front door. It was night time by the time I left my house, but still. A few moments passed and she opened the door, whispering: "Natsuki, do you need anything?"
"Can we go up to your room? I don't want your parents to cause a ruckus."
"Y-Yeah, of course!"
We went upstairs and as we both entered her room, I locked the door behind us.
"I need to tell you what happened at the destroyed village, you're one of the only people I trust with this information since I know you've kept my secrets for a while.. I was there. And my abuser was the one that attacked us, he is more powerful than before, since he has a stand.. By us, I mean me and Monika.."
"I- Natsuki, are you injured?"
"I'm fine.. But here's a photo of him." - I showed her a photo of him, not really a photo, but one of the drawings that I made of him which was realistic.
"He looks scary.. Is there anything I can do? I need details!"
"...I almost died back there if it weren't for Monika. I'm alright now though.. I just wanted to let you know of this man, in case there's another attack. I gotta go home, it's getting late and I don't wanna wake your parents up."
I opened up her window and said: "I'll check up on you tomorrow, alright?"
"M-Mhm..!"
*Sayori's POV*
Sayori saw me jumping down and racing back home. She closed her window and looked at the photo she had of Monika, me and Yuri along with her when it was the festival and let out a shaky sigh.
"Th-They almost died.. S-So reckless, for what?!" - Her hands started shaking.
Her mind was her own enemy in these types of situations. Her room seemed like a whiteboard. Phrases in blue started being written all around her:
"I can't help them.. What am I supposed to do?.."
"They don't deserve this.."
"This is unfair!"
There was a moment of silence until the room got dark, her room light was shut, the phrases started glowing and more started being written in red:
"You're useless, you can't even help your own friends."
"It's not worth your time trying to desperately help others when you can't even help yourself."
"You should stop trying."
"Killing yourself would be a better option, at least you'd stop worrying so much."
"No one would care or hear you if you did it anyway."
Sayori's mind went blank for a moment. She read the last three lines again:
"You should stop trying."
"Killing yourself would be a better option, at least you'd stop worrying so much."
"No one would care or hear you if you did it anyway."
Suddenly, something dropped on the ground. An odd looking arrow. She picked it up as the last three lines kept repeating in her mind.
"....Get out of my head.." - She whispered.
"Do it." - A last line appeared as she looked down at the floor.
She looked at it, and raised it up to her stomach. Tears dropped from her eyes onto the floor as she instinctively stabbed herself with it. She covered her mouth immediately, pulling the arrow out, dropping to the floor. Her vision became blurry as time passed and the arrow dropped behind her.
She heard a strange sound behind her but didn't care, the pain was unbearable and she lost consciousness.
PENSAMENTOS DOS CRIADORES 
wh4t3v3r_fr34k
wh4t3v3r_fr34k I'm sorry for future hatred towards me after this, I promise the next chapter is gonna be a relief for you to read. Liking it so far though? Add it to your library for future updates!!
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