Capítulo 24: C24: Shawn
[ Tuesday, October 11 ]
I squeezed my phone in my hand as I type my text message for dad, informing him that I'll be in his house in a few hours. I heaved a breath before tapping the send button while hearing the sudden knock from the door made me drop my phone on my bed. At least, not on the floor.
"Come in, it's open," I answered, and Summer entered my room, her expression blank. She sat next to me on my bed and kept silent. I have no idea what's running in her head like I'm totally clueless. There's no point in talking I suppose, though perhaps she's worried about me who's going to face my father again.
"So, how long are we going to stay silent? I can't do telepathy." I commented, holding myself back from smiling. Summer chuckled and rested her head on my shoulder.
"I just went here to check you. I know you're leaving at noon. It's 9 am, so I guess you already texted or called your dad that you're coming?" Summer asked, slightly looking up to me.
"I already did, just before you knocked on the door. He didn't reply yet. You know …"
"Yeah?"
"I can't imagine myself being completely calm when I talk to him. I can see myself shouting at him after all he's done. It's just that he can't afford to support my –"
"Advocacy?" she added, for I was lost with my words. I find it hard to articulate my thoughts properly because of the mixed feelings inside me about going to dad's house.
"Yeah, you can say that. He didn't even pay a visit, not even once. He prioritized his work as a politician and acted like he doesn't have a family. He could've at least paid us a visit even once. I'd totally appreciate it." I can feel the warmth in my body rising and found my hands curling into a fist.
Expressing my anger won't help for now, not with Summer around. I'm afraid I might scare her if she'll see how I look like when I'm mad. I'm the kind of person who only stays quiet when mad until I'll explode one day. Exploding isn't exactly a good one because I tend to shout and break things.
Probably say words without thinking. I can't do that here.
"I understand. But don't overthink this, you'll go there to fix the problem, right? It's going to be fine. Just … choose the right words when you say what's in your mind, act polite. He's still your father, after all." She suggested, which makes sense. I shouldn't be carried away with what I feel. I need to use my brain too when dealing with this issue. Being rude will just make things worse.
"You're right," I grinned as I pull her away a bit and kissed her forehead. "I'll keep that in mind."
Summer pressed her lips together and rolled her eyes, breaking an eye contact. Her cheeks become slightly red, not far from how she looked like last night. I can't help but smile whenever I see her blush.
She pouted, her eyebrows furrowed, annoyed that I'm teasing her again. "What's so funny, Shawn Barron?"
"Nothing, except for the fact that just like last night, your face is as red as a tomato." She playfully slapped my arm, which hurts a bit. It's not enough for me to feel the pain for minutes, though.
"Well, whose fault is it?" I shrugged.
"Mine. Although, you weren't like that when I did the same thing last night."
Her eyes widened for a second and she narrowed it, clueless on what I'm talking about. "You have?"
"I have. I did kiss you on the forehead before leaving your room. I even said Good night and I love you," I looked away and hold myself from smiling, but I couldn't help it. "I really missed saying that. Saying it again felt good."
"I see. How about now? You said it made you feel good, right? You're more than free to say it once again now if you want to."
I jumped to my feet to ruin the mood. She can call me kill joy if she wants to, but I don't want to say it because she asked. I'd rather say it when she's least expecting it. "Nah, I have to get ready. I have to leave this place soon."
Summer shrugged. She didn't get what she's asking for, but she didn't seem upset or disappointed about it. I believe she's used with this kind of personality of mine. "Anyway, I have to go too, I need to work. Tell me about how things went, call me later tonight."
"Noted," I replied as she went towards the door and shut the door behind her.
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The rain started pouring as I stepped outside the taxi. I carried my bags with me and looked at the high metal gate of dad's house. I couldn't see much because it's a little dark and the rain made my vision blurry than usual.
I pressed the doorbell twice, making the guard come out to check who the visitor is. "Sir Shawn? Could that possibly be you?" the guard verified, even though I know that he knows that he's right. I can't recognize him though, which surprised me for him to conclude that it's me. This guy is, I believe, a new guard.
"Yes, I am," I replied as he took some umbrella to cover me up. He closed the gate and escorted me 'till I reached the house's huge wooden door carved with ornaments and some cherubs. I pushed the wooden door open, revealing the two maids who seem to be expecting my presence already.
"Sir Shawn, your father's waiting in the dining room for dinner." One of the maids said, bowing. I don't see the sense of bowing. It's not like I'm a prince who arrived from a faraway kingdom or something like that. Besides, as far as I know, bowing isn't a part of our country's culture. It feels like Japanese or Korean. Well at least, we're still in Asia.
I put my bags down and headed to the dining room, with dad sitting on the head of the table which makes me feel like I'm dining with a king because of the long-table setup. Funny, I didn't know that we now have a long table. It used to be a short one. Besides, I don't see the need for a long table because, in our family, it's only the three of us.
"So, I suppose you get visitors often so you bought a long table?" I asked. It felt wrong. It felt wrong to start a conversation about tables. Not to mention, rude. What was I thinking?
"Yes, actually. Although I bought this just in case you'll bring the kids from Edevieth here, I wouldn't mind." Dad confessed. "Son, I'm sorry if I didn't support you in Edevieth. I've been … I've been busy."
I rolled my eyes as I sit a chair away from him. "You don't have to act nice. Don't force yourself. It's bad for the heart."
"Shawn please, I'm trying to be serious here. I want us to mend things. Bring back our old good relationship as father and son. We can't be like this always." His voice was filled with worry, even though if I'll be honest, I can't sense that he's lying. His words are sincere, only that with a little pride included so he can't look at me straight in the eyes. Part of me is surprised, but part of me isn't. At some point, I already see this coming.
"That's why I'm here," I added. The maids started putting plates on our placemats, as well as utensils like a knife, spoon, and fork. "Knife? Why, are we going to eat thick chunks of meat or something like that?"
Without hearing any answer, the maids served some pot roast, a bowl of mushroom soup, rice and mashed potato with gravy on it. My heart melted as I saw the foods served. Dad still remembered that these are some of my favorite foods. He still knows my soft side.
"You remembered," I looked at him, my eyes widened. He smiled, even though hesitant. I couldn't help return the smile, because for some reason, seeing all of these filled my heart with joy. I haven't eaten these for ages.
"Help yourself," he sighed as he drank a glass of water. "I know that it'll make you happy so I told them to cook these."
I stared at the food, hoping that he'll say something else, but he was doing the same. "Can you … can you pray for the food?" I asked.
He flashed a satisfied smile, pleased with what I've said. Dad closed his eyes and so I followed him.
"Father in Heaven, thank you for giving my son and I another chance to have a new beginning. Thank you for answering my prayers and I pray for you to change our hearts so that we'll be completely together again who will be together in life's tears and joys. I also pray for your blessing as we eat our meal for the night. May we be able to use this as a strength for our earthly bodies. In Jesus' Name, Amen." Dad smiled when we finished stating the prayer but avoided an eye contact.
He dipped his spoon into the mushroom soup and ate of it, which makes my mouth – mentally water.
"Dad, you … you prayed for us to be together again?"
"Yes," he looked at me upon answering although deep inside, I feel guilty that all these times, I've been hating him for not supporting my plans and not even paying Edevieth a visit at least once. I've always seen him as a coward who only cares about himself and his job as a politician. But I guess I was wrong. There's probably a lot of things that I don't know about him, but even if this is his way of showing love at the very least, I still slammed the door shut on him. I can't help but regret being such a rebel. I should've known better. "You don't know how grateful I was when you said that you're coming. Although aside from mending things, do you have any purpose why you came here?"
"First of all, thank you, for praying for us to be together again. I'm … I'm sorry if I've been a rebellious son. Because for so long, I saw you as someone who's a selfish coward who doesn't care about me and my plans. But hearing you say that you pray for our family to be united again … it gave my heart the warmth that I've been longing for. Also, I'd like to apologize for not speaking properly, for being rude and –" Long before I finish my statement, dad shushed and didn't let me finish.
"I've been a selfish coward. If I did my part as the head of the house, things could've been better. I know the right thing to do but I've been reactive because I only waited for you to return. But there are some things that I've learned a few months ago – strong families should spend time together. Each member should be committed to the family. Maintain a healthy communication, express appreciation, having a spiritual commitment, and able to solve the problems in times of crisis. Therefore, it's my goal to do all of those, little by little. I was thinking," dad paused and took a slice of the pot roast and ate it. "What if you'll just bring all of the kids here? Handling kids won't be easy, but our house is more than enough to keep all of them. Besides, we can help them study when they're here. Edevieth might be a beautiful place, but it's dead. If that's what it takes for our family to be whole again, I'm willing to accept it no matter what cost. It's not easy to live in this house alone. What would I do for a big house and a luxurious life if I'm not with my family? It's all pointless. I couldn't find joy in luxuries and money. There's always something lacking, and that is my family that I should've taken care of."
I took a sip of my creamy mushroom soup and sliced my pot roast into pieces before taking some servings. Dad's offer sounded music to my ears and I'll be more than willing to do that. Being in Edevieth sure helped to give life back to the dump wasteland, but I sacrificed my personal life just to handle the kids. I may be selfless, but I believe this is the time for me to face the other things that are also important to me. My work, my family, and Summer.
"You don't know how much I'd like that to happen," I replied, trying to maintain my composure even if I'm jumping because of excitement and joy deep inside. "I'll definitely do that as soon as possible. But before I go back there, I also want to confess something."
I grabbed a glass of water and drank before saying my second reason for coming here. My heart beats like a drum, pounding because of excitement, joy, and nervousness. "I want to introduce you to my girlfriend."
Dad nearly choked and he narrowed his eyes as he looked at me, his eyes full of questions about the sudden announcement. "You surely know Summer. We've been together for years but we kept it. When I was in Edevieth, I had to leave her. Of course, she was unhappy with my decision and we didn't talk since I was there. Recently, she went there because of her sister and we fixed things. Now that I'm here, I'd like us to talk both sides. I know you're close with his father so I suppose things won't be that hard?"
"Summer Monteverde?" the corner of dad's lips rose upwards, forming to a smile. He must've been surprised about the announcement, but he doesn't look mad or anything with the fact that I never told him.
In fact, he seemed to be happy with my choice.
"Why did you two had to keep it? I don't see anything wrong about that. I know Summer somehow because whenever Gabriel and I meet, she's usually with us. She's a very smart girl, organized and hardworking. I don't know much about her personality, though. Our meetings are usually formal."
"We've been friends for years before I confessed my love for her," the temperature rose through my cheeks, my hands and feet growing cold. I can imagine how red my face is probably at this moment. I heaved another breath and let it out before saying the next words. "And, um … I'm having visions of marrying her sometime soon, although there's no need to rush because the information came out of the blue so, yeah."
"Did the two of you talked about marriage already?"
"No, we haven't. I don't really want to propose this early or anything like that. I want to prove myself to her family first, spend time knowing them better and to make our relationship stronger because we haven't talked for ages."
Dad ate the last of his meal and sipped the soup in his bowl and followed it with another glass of water. He took a napkin to wipe his mouth and put it down the table. "I'll see what I can do. I'm more than willing to help you with your plans." He commented as he gave me a pat on the back.
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