31Opiniões
4.03
- Qualidade de Escrita
- Estabilidade das atualizações
- Desenvolvimento de Histórias
- Design de Personagens
- Antecedentes do mundo
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Ok, so english is not my main language so bear with me, also I'm not the best at doing reviews, but here I go. First, the novel until now (chap 16) has been good so far. However, author please pay attention to some loopholes. *Spoiler alert* Caitlyn said that she asked Leon's e-mail on school, found something suspcious and started investigating, however she said that she has been stalking him for 6 years, and Leon later asked her a question where Caitlyn answered that Leon didn't go to elementary school, so this should leave us only with high school, so he should have only 3 to 4 years with Caitlyn at most. Also, Caitlyn knew about the facility and all, so the school part doesn't add up. Second, to new readers, although the MC has a screwed identity crisis on the begining, where sometimes the author calls him Leon and sometimes call him Atlas, if you can brave through the first 10 chapters, the history gets better. Third, author, for the love of what is holy be careful of how you makes a character behave. For example, Leon didn't behave as the supposed sociopath that he's supposed to be, and him blushing at his first interactions with Caitlyn doesn't quite add up at his personality. I get that he's a virgin and all, however he portrait himself as a cool-headed guy and adding his sociopathy it doesn't make much sense. But on the latter chapters it gets better, so this is more of an advice. Forth, although I like the comedy tune, be careful of when to use it. Taking the situation where Leon, Caitlyn, Sarah and Lindy had a vortex opening up close to them, there the comedic tune didn't let the readers grasp the situation cleary, for example, I myself didn't get the whole situation: what was coming out of the vortex; the situation' severity etc. Overall, those are the only cons I have seen on the novel until now, however I have really liked the novel. Also author, the points above are advices and observations, I'm not critizing you or not giving worth to your work, I know how hard it's to create a novel that satisfies the author and the readers, so don't take the points in a negative way. Keep the good work, and take a power stone as a motivation. I hope to come back later on and give a review even better. ; )
Revelar Spoiler
Ok, so english is not my main language so bear with me, also I'm not the best at doing reviews, but here I go. First, the novel until now (chap 16) has been good so far. However, author please pay attention to some loopholes. *Spoiler alert* Caitlyn said that she asked Leon's e-mail on school, found something suspcious and started investigating, however she said that she has been stalking him for 6 years, and Leon later asked her a question where Caitlyn answered that Leon didn't go to elementary school, so this should leave us only with high school, so he should have only 3 to 4 years with Caitlyn at most. Also, Caitlyn knew about the facility and all, so the school part doesn't add up. Second, to new readers, although the MC has a screwed identity crisis on the begining, where sometimes the author calls him Leon and sometimes call him Atlas, if you can brave through the first 10 chapters, the history gets better. Third, author, for the love of what is holy be careful of how you makes a character behave. For example, Leon didn't behave as the supposed sociopath that he's supposed to be, and him blushing at his first interactions with Caitlyn doesn't quite add up at his personality. I get that he's a virgin and all, however he portrait himself as a cool-headed guy and adding his sociopathy it doesn't make much sense. But on the latter chapters it gets better, so this is more of an advice. Forth, although I like the comedy tune, be careful of when to use it. Taking the situation where Leon, Caitlyn, Sarah and Lindy had a vortex opening up close to them, there the comedic tune didn't let the readers grasp the situation cleary, for example, I myself didn't get the whole situation: what was coming out of the vortex; the situation' severity etc. Overall, those are the only cons I have seen on the novel until now, however I have really liked the novel. Also author, the points above are advices and observations, I'm not critizing you or not giving worth to your work, I know how hard it's to create a novel that satisfies the author and the readers, so don't take the points in a negative way. Keep the good work, and take a power stone as a motivation. I hope to come back later on and give a review even better. ; )
Revelar Spoiler