Capítulo 171: Cheer up!

Finally, the pain had subsided, after what felt like an eternity. In reality, the episode had probably only lasted for ten or so minutes. Still, in my head, it felt so insanely long that I had started having thoughts about whether or not this might be something permanent.

After having spent all that time filled with stress, my throat was dry enough to make Sahara look like a swamp.

Forcing myself to speak, I let out a hoarse voice to try to get the woman who was now holding my hand and staring at the floor to notice me. "Water..."

"Zero?! Are you alright now?!"

The more I got to experience the wonder that was Ms. Turner, the more I felt like she probably wasn't very suited to this world. This wasn't a world where you could afford to show weakness, or at least you couldn't afford it in the near future.

Mustering as much energy as I could, I knew I had to keep presenting myself in a way that matched the stupid actions of the brat that put us in this situation. So, I smiled, and although I had no idea what kind of smile it was, I couldn't help it. As long as I managed to smile, that was enough for now.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But, would you mind getting me some water?"

"Ah, of course! I'll be right back!"

And with that, she exited the room in a hurry, most likely because she wanted to get back as soon as possible. Then, as soon as she left, a voice could be heard in my head.

'-That was a nice performance, James. No, I should call you Zero now, shouldn't I?'

Shaking my head, I inadvertently frowned a bit as I heard the voice of an incredibly annoying god.

'-Stop it. If you have time for nonsense, why don't you tell me what that skill is? [Bottomless Vessel], it's something similar to [Misty Vessel], isn't it?'

'-Hmm, yes, it is indeed a variation of the same kind of body. However, I don't think it's quite that simple.'

'-What do you mean?'

'-Because this body of yours, Zero's body, isn't made of mana.'

'-What...?'

'-You heard me. The form you are currently in isn't made of mana, instead, the variation seems to, as you might have noticed, make it possible for Zero to endlessly absorb mana. In fact, that body seems to always be conglomerating mana around it no matter what you do.'

A cold sweat emerged on my back as I started to realize what he was saying.

'-Are you going to tell me that this body won't last? That because of the integration of mana, it will inevitably shut down, or something like that? Isn't that a huge cliché?'

'-I am not sure. After all, I don't think anyone has ever seen anything like this. Most likely, this was an oversight from Theia who didn't think of the risks of integrating someone who had begun to step on the path of becoming more than a mortal into a mortal body. Oh, it seems like I have run out of time. Don't worry, your doctor will tell you more. Hohoho!'

'-Wait! Just one more question! If this body dies... what happens to me?'

'-I have no idea! Ciao!'

With that, he forcibly disconnected us and left me with only frustration and stress when thinking about the fact that I would have no idea what would happen to me in the future.

'Shit! Do I have no choice but to throw this body away then? But things were just starting to get interesting! Things were just becoming fun and... I was just starting to live... I want to live... I don't want to die yet...'

"Zero...? Zero! Are you hurting again?!"

"Ah... I'm s-sorry, I-I'm fine."

"Then why are you... No, excuse me. Here you go."

Handing me a cup of water, I only noticed the state I was in when I held the cup. My hands were shaking, and suddenly I realized that my eyes were watering again. 'This body... needs to stop crying...'

"Thank you..."

Yet, the lingering sense of doom still clouded my mind, and although I could rationally tell that even if Zero did 'die', James would most likely be fine. 'I don't need Zero's body to live... I think...'

A scary thought popped up in my mind as I was thinking this, a thought that I should have taken a lot more time to reflect on than what I had done so far. It was a thought that chilled me to the bone, a thought that sent a shiver through my body.

'No! Not right now! I'll think about that later, we need to start by getting through the present before we start thinking about the future!'

At this point, Ms. Turner was once again staring at the floor in, what I assumed to be, shame. Shame because she hadn't intervened in the duel between Sophie and Stella, and shame because she didn't stop me from fighting Arthur.

'Haa... I guess I'll start here then.'

"Hey, Ms. Turner."

Turning her face up from the ground she met my eyes, eyes that I had now made sure would be gentle but confident, "You know, this world truly is strange... No, humans are strange. It's strange how they can fall into the grand scheme of things and lose sight of the little things. How they start accepting and taking for granted so many things that should be seen as blessings."

Setting my eyes on the ceiling, although I was still carrying out the plan to 'cheer' my teacher up, I had a feeling that I was now talking to myself as well. But I didn't know which one of me was talking and which one I was talking to.

"Life is precious, isn't it? Doesn't everyone deserve to live? Shouldn't everyone get the chance to take part in the gift that is living? And why is it that people don't realize they might be the reason for someone else's pain? And finally, why is it that we idolize power more than kindness? Somehow, I felt like I got part of the answer to this during the duels."

"What do you mean?"

"It's because of circumstances. Power is idolized because it has been necessary in times of crisis, and this has ultimately led to power getting translated into wealth, fame, and happiness. But it has gone too far. Instead of people looking at power as a gift, it has only led to the powerless being forced to endure the fact that they are of lesser worth."

Now, it had to be said that I was purely speaking my mind about things, but now Ms. Turner seemed thoroughly lost about what I wanted to say, her face bewildered with confusion. To be honest, I was confused myself, but somehow it felt incredibly good to talk about this.

Why had I been forced to become so desperate to become stronger as James? Because the powerless got trampled. That was the truth in this world, and that was the norm that I had to follow.

I had followed the laws of this world, where I had obtained power just because I could. Because that was what one should do on Tella, if they could. However, did that have to be the truth?

"I want to prove this world wrong, Ms. Turner. Even if it's hypocritical, I want to show the people that the strong don't have to be the ones who rule and that no matter who you are, life is always equally precious. This... I know all too well..."

"Then, aren't your life also precious...? Don't you also deserve to live?"

Images of a life long ago started flashing before my eyes, a life where I had gotten to experience just how unfair life could be, even without superpowers. '-James... I love you.'

My sin, as well as my burden. A burden I only became forced to carry because of circumstances, a sin that I desperately wanted my mind to stop justifying, but it never did. Even now, my brain was continuously defending my actions, but my heart couldn't accept them.

So to say that James deserved to live? I couldn't say that. However, what about Zero? Didn't he deserve to live a full life, to have someone by his side, and get to see his children grow up? However, that wasn't the role he would get to play.

With a smile, Zero spoke, "I will experience my life to the fullest. I will do everything I can to experience as much as I can, smile at the people around me, and cry with the ones I need to cry with. Haha! I have already done a lot of crying, so isn't it time for me to start smiling again?"

"But then...!"

"But my role has never been to live. Although it might sound a bit dramatic, Jessica, my role has always been to die."

'Wow! I really didn't cheer her up much, did I?'

PENSAMENTOS DOS CRIADORES
Antenz

Well, this chapter didn't turn out like I thought at all. My plan had been to keep going with a bit of a lighter mood, but... Well it happened. Maybe its because I worked on this after I had watched Cyberpunk? Anyway, we will be getting back on track with some more action and comedy in the upcoming chapters. Please do have patience with this overdramatic author!

comentário 7 comentário

Votar

ENVIAR PRESENTE

Load failed, please RETRY