Capítulo 230: Chapter 225: Gray Part 2
Walking for hours on end had always been a problem for this Lord. Because of his weak body, his resistance to fatigue was too flimsy. Right now, he was sweating and panting tiredly as he walked behind that girl. In front of him, of course, Sakura was looking at him a little disappointed. She couldn't believe that her father, being a man with more experience in life, was so weak.
This man's achievements at the Clock Tower these past few years may be praised by many, but when you meet the perpetrator, disappointment may fall on the shoulders of the beholder. His bitter and coarse attitude overshadowed how people talk about his exploits.
"Wait...let me rest...just five minutes...that's all I need so I don't die."
Sakura couldn't help but smile at the sight of her tired father. Her disappointment from a few seconds ago sank deep into the back of her mind. This person was hilarious. He is still, deep down, the same boy who brought her with him to this country.
"Then we'll rest for a few more minutes. For now we're in no hurry."
Waver appreciated that so together they rested under the shade of an old tree. There, where it seemed that the vegetation threatened to devour the surroundings, the sunlight gently pierced the leaves of the tree.
Both of them for a few seconds remained in a comfortable silence that was already customary when there was nothing to talk about. So it should have been, but Sakura decided to bring up a topic related to this trip.
"You should train your body a little more. If you're a Lord, you should also stay strong physically and not just in magecraft, though it's not like you're good at the latter either."
"That hurts. Besides, that's easy for you to say because when you use magic, you do it 'physically'. Even that weird magic you wield scares me too much. In fact, there is no information about that magic. At least not that any Magus has discovered. That's why we must keep investigating to make sure it's nothing dangerous. Although, with everything I have on that, I know that magic is indeed dangerous."
"Well. I'm still not good at controlling that magic you call 'Imaginary Numbers', but I've already made some progress with the dust magecraft. If I can put that magic together with my physical reinforcement magic, I'll be able to deliver blows that will be able to disintegrate objects"
"Yeah... that's scary..."
This man was afraid of this lady's talent, for these past few years Sakura has been training her magecraft a lot. In fact, when she met Toru, she was amazed by the physical abilities this guy had, so she decided to follow the same steps. She trained her physicality herself and combined that with the reinforcement magic her father taught her. She also knows how to handle the basic elements such as earth, fire and wind.
With that in mind, Waver describes people who use more than four elements as "real monsters," for the plain and simple fact that he can't.
"All I ask is that you don't put yourself in danger by using that magecraft. I know you're talented, but magecraft should be done calmly and without rushing. I promised Toru that I would protect you and I have so far. I'm not going to let you kill yourself using magic we don't know about."
"You don't have to worry so much, really. Still, thank you for being so attentive. For the past ten years you've taken care of me as if I were your real daughter, for that I thank you very much."
"Uh... yeah, whatever."
Waver looked away to hide his shyness. Sakura was a good child. She had grown up with the values of a modern Magus and was as talented and powerful as the Magus of old. There was no way Waver wouldn't be proud of his apprentice and adopted daughter.
...
Until then, under the shade of this old tree, they rested like a father and daughter on a picnic.
***
"This place is more peaceful than I imagined."
"I think so too."
Together with her father, Sakura finally approached that village among the bowels of this strange place. She didn't know much about what her father would do in this place except that they come to look for a person, but without a doubt this old town showed the history of Britain's old days, as buildings made of stone, dilapidated like relics of the past, spread all over the place forming this town.
"Hard to believe there is a cult that wants to bring King Arthur back from the dead."
"Huh? The one in the legend? The one who pulled the sword out of the stone and became the ruler of Britain?"
"Seh... The cult of this town is made up of descendants of the Pendragon lineage. Obviously they don't carry the surname, but they do carry a small part of the blood of that lineage."
"That means they are distant relatives of the King of Knights."
"Indeed. I understand that they want to use a person's body as the vessel for the soul of that fallen king. What idiots..."
Waver had a distorted view of who King Arthur really is because of the rumors about the death of Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald, who was said to have been brutally murdered by the Saber-class Servant, who was obviously that blissful king.
"Anyway."
Waver took out a cigarette from his metal box. He looked at Sakura and she understood this. Still...
"Smoking is bad for you."
"I know."
Replied the man. Sakura smiled shaking her head at her father's stubbornness and held out her hand. At that, a small crimson magic circle composed of strange circles and geometric figures appeared in front of Sakura's hand.
"Flame..."
She said. Waver then brought the cigar close to the sudden flame that appeared. With that, the cigarette lit up and he proceeded to damage his lungs by sucking in some of the smoke.
"Thank you."
He said. Sakura just looked away. This man was hopeless. He was still her father, a hopeless father.
"With the data we have gathered, we must move forward. In ancient times, the King of Knights, Arthur Pendragon, assembled the knights who would compose the Knighthood of the Round Table. That was in one of the lessons I gave you last year."
"Yes. I was very interested in the knight Galahad, who carried a shield. I find it curious that he could fight with such a heavy shield as described in the stories."
"I'm sure he was using some magecraft from that time. The nobility were the ones who mostly became Magus, but now that nobility has dwindled down to small Magus families who still have the odd old custom from yesteryear"
"My former family is one of those, right?"
"Yes. But let's not talk about that now. As we approach our destination, let's talk about this week's lessons. The Bounded Fields."
"Uh, yeah. In short, they're a class of domains that Magi can extend to their surroundings, whether they're about themselves, objects, or bounded locations. Conditions can be added to domains, as well as being able to be used as magical barriers. An example of this are the magical barriers created by members of the Einzbern family. They detect strange entities such as spirits and can see into their very barrier."
"Correct. In Magecraft, the Bounded Fields has an extensive origin that goes back to and is based in Buddhism. Regions, magical delimitations separated from the outside world, something the common human brain cannot access. They have many uses depending on the user."
"Yes. I was very surprised the time you made the basement feel like a temple. I'm still having a hard time creating a Bounded Field, but I'm making great progress."
"That's normal. You have a lot of magecraft to develop. You can't give yourself the time to practice just one. Now that I remember, I have to add some bible verses to your lessons next week. I assume you know what the creatures known as angels are?"
"Yes, but I remember researching that the general picture we have of angels is a bit wrong. We are also supposed to use the names of angels to make our magecraft."
"I see you got ahead of yourself on that topic. And yes, you are correct. In magecraft we use a basic and simple system that uses four primordial elements represented by angel names"
"Uh... I don't think I've gotten to that part yet."
"That's okay. That'll be your next lesson."
"Understood. I'll try my best."
"You don't have to try hard. You already have the talent for it. Just take it easy. Hm... looks like we're here."
Stopping dead in his tracks, Waver looked silently at the clean-walled church made of white and reddish-brown bricks. With large colorful windows and the sunlight beating down heavily, this place looked exactly like a traditional church.
-By Sakura-
I saw my father frowning for a few moments, as if preparing himself for what was coming. I have known him for ten years and I can tell that at this moment he is hiding something from me and I am sure that is the reason why he is mentally preparing himself. His attitude changed from one moment to the next and that's what put me on alert.
I never told him, but once I saw him talking to an old piece of red cloth.
Even though in front of me he appears awkward and kind, deep down I know he is suffering a lot. It's all because of that war, I know. He constantly mentions that king.
And even though he suffers, he tries to move forward with his own goal.
In the end, he is his vassal and he is not going to give up.
'That will be the reason why you will one day abandon me...'
I thought to myself as we walked through the large door of the church.
Now I know. My father will say something that, no matter what I secretly already know, he will open his heart to get what he wants.
I know it perfectly well...
So, when we entered the church, we saw someone sitting in one of the front pews of the place. Among the long, shiny brown wooden pews, hidden like a small animal behind her hood, she seemed to react to our presence.
Suddenly, my father spoke to this person with a totally different expression than usual. It was a strange mixture of hope and disappointment. He then said a few words that shook my heart and made me remember once again how the one I considered my father would abandon me.
"Do you think humans can grow up?"
My father then spoke of his accomplishments with his students as if it was simply no big deal, as if all his accomplishments were empty and meaningless. Any man would be proud to climb so high, but for my father that was different.
He said.
"If we are talking about the true essence of a person, can this be considered growth?"
Father... you are scaring me with your words. There is no way I can say it openly, but I feel that the day when you will leave my side is getting closer and closer and the words you are saying right now confirm that fact to me.
With the person sitting in the front there, you plan to go to that place?
A girl's voice echoed throughout the church.
Shrinking under her own hood, hidden from the visible light of others; I heard the voice of someone who reminded me of myself.
"Aren't you that famous Lord of the Clock Tower?"
My father replied regretfully.
"Correct. I've held that position for a little over nine years."
I know my father doesn't feel deserving of what he has, and that was something he explained to the girl sitting there in front of him. However, this he did by telling a bit about the War for the Holy Grail and how he survived that simply because of the strange luck he had.
Even at this moment, I feel that my father wishes he had died in that war, but now he is trying to bear the full weight of the luck he had in having survived. He wants to fulfill the wish that beats fervently inside his wounded heart.
'Father...'
I, in all these years, have never seen my father cry and he has never seen me cry. I suppose we are alike in that. The fact that we both hide what we really feel so as not to hurt others.
That also reminds me of Toru. Even if the years have passed, I still love him as I did when I was a silly, naive little girl. I wish I could see him again, hold him in my arms and never let go. He saved me and I stabbed him in the abdomen...
What was going through my head at that moment? I don't remember anymore...
My father's voice brought me out of my thoughts.
"Does that mean that the past me was actually better than what I am now?"
I also wondered the same thing - am I better than I was in the past? I have become one of the best students in the Modern Magecraft department, I am a good daughter trying to leave a good impression.
Am I better than I was?
The mysterious girl in the hood took it upon herself to answer my doubt.
"Like you said, I think it's a matter of luck."
Uh... luck...
So ridiculous it's sad... So, was it luck that made me have these disgusting monsters inside me? I still feel them writhing inside me... Sometimes it hurts... sometimes they make me feel things I've never felt before....
Luck, uh...
...
...
What horrible luck I've had...
"You're right."
My father said and continued.
"But can you really think that someone who was simply swept along by luck and coincidence has grown up?"
I see... You never discussed this with me, but I guess this was a good time to bring it up in front of me. That's why you agreed to bring me along, because you don't do things without a reason, I know that. So that was also part of your teachings to me.
Better late than never, I guess. But in any case, if I try to answer what my father asks the girl over there it would be.....
"The course we take when life comes to a crossroads is always determined by the smallest coincidences, the smallest twists of fate. If that's the case, can we really say that humans grow up? Even as children, anyone can get caught up in the desire to just quietly follow someone greater than themselves...someone who was born very well, someone who was born king. Isn't that right?"
My father took the words out of my mouth, but no doubt what he said next was what I really think of myself right now.
"I haven't grown up at all. Nothing has changed since then. I haven't gotten any closer to becoming the person I wanted to be."
Exactly. where does that leave the Sakura that onii-san told me not to let die? Surely that Sakura died the moment onii-san walked away from me in the direction of his own death?
At that moment, I would have liked to tell him not to go away; not to let the Toru I knew die....
At that moment my father said at the same time I whispered:
"I want to change..."
We both want to change, as we are still trapped in the pain of the past. Although we have been together and our father-daughter relationship has managed to calm our troubled hearts a little, that is simply not enough to satisfy the ambitions we have.
I want Toru-oniisan back....
My father wants his king back....
I am sure that girl over there understands, for, though it is strange to me, somehow I can read how it is that she feels just by seeing how she shakes her head at my father's words; how her voice is soft and understanding, yet filled with the pain of loneliness.
We are broken...
We are bad and we know it...
"That's why I... I need your help..."
Said my father.
I need someone's help too. Desperately I crawl inside my thoughts constantly thinking that those who are close to me will abandon me; that everyone will stay away from me and I will be left alone in a room full of horrible worm-like insects.
This is my own selfishness.....
"This is completely my selfishness."
My father explains to that person that he has no guarantee that, by taking her to that war, she can come out unscathed, but that girl is considering it. How lonely do you feel that someone who really needs you can get your attention? I don't have the right to know...
"Still, I want you to come with me."
My father finished speaking while I looked at him confused by all the thoughts that arose in my mind.
So, the girl answered him by getting up from the bench.
"Can I ask you to promise me one thing."
My father nodded and, as the girl removed her hood causing my father's expression to change to a horrified face, she said:
"Please, keep hating my face."
My father regained his composure and nodded.
"I promise."
He said. Then, so confused that I didn't know what to say, I saw the beautiful face that girl had. She was like a perfect doll with white skin and emerald green eyes. Her hair was gray, but unlike her beautiful appearance, the expression that lay on that face was sad and dejected.
Uh...
It reminded me of the first time I met onii-san. He had an "aura" similar to this girl's. So, I unconsciously walked up to her and looked into her eyes. I didn't know what to say, but I thought a little as she and my father looked at me in confusion.
"It's nice to meet you, do you want to be my friend?"
This girl seemed to need that....
Hiding under the hood again, she said to me:
"Thank you..."
Thus, our story and fate intertwined in a strange way.
To be continued...
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