Capítulo 49: Chapter Forty-nine
Earth.
Even though you aren't away for more than a couple months at a time, it still feels good whenever you set foot on it. The air, the sounds, just the general feeling you get from being here. Priceless. Sadly this is not a sentiment your friends share. Mostly they just find it... plain. But you pay no attention to them.
"So... What do you say sis? Do you think you can fly this distance?" You point at the nearby city while looking at Elena.
"Errr.... I don't know. I never flew this much before."
*sigh* "Okay. Hop on back. I'll give you a lift this time." You point at your back, much to your sisters delight. Getting piggy back rides from you used to be one of her favorite things... especially if you didn't not consent.
But right now you feel like you could bench press the world so carrying her miniscule weight is really no problem.
As you're getting closer and closer to the city however, something did start bothering you.
Namely the three little Tuffles following you around like three little ducklings. But given Earths *ahem* history with aliens they might attract some... unwanted attention, unlike the Saiyans.
"Kids, the locals might be just a little freaked out by more aliens, so... I don't know. Don't you have a trick to blend in with the crowd?"
They exchange a quick little glance before nodding and suddenly their skins start to change. Before your eyes their pristine, white exterior morphed until it greatly resembled yours. Even their eyes and hair shift around, leaving only the slightly unnatural blue color of their irises as an indication of their nature.
"How is it?" Kamin asks as the three of them finish changing. "We got these for-"
"I don't need to hear it. I can take a guess and even that's too much. Let's just be glad that you have a feature like that."
As you get into the city proper, you land out of sigh and out of mind. And as you help Elena get back home you start thinking about how to actually do this. Because handling 3 kids would be enough but if you have to pay attention to Caulifla and Kale as well you risk going mad. Similarly, if you hang out with Caulifla and Kale the children MIGHT be a bit of a problem.
Parting ways with Elena you turn to your alien buddies and finally speak your mind.
"Alright gang! Let's... explore a bit! Shall we?"
Leading them dumbly around, you eventually wind up near your old apartment to which Caulifla and Kale react predictably. "Hey... doesn't this seem familiar to you Kale?"
"It sure does."
Trying to hold back any comment that wanted to erupt from your bowels, you lead them into the building and they finally realized where they were. Opening the door you greeted whoever was in there. "Hello?"
You hear a faint reply coming from inside.
"Hello!"
"Oh, hi Sam. What's good?"
"You know... Not much. Glad you finally chose to use the door."
"Yeah. Like a plebian. But I kinda wanted to lay low a bit. How's law school going?"
"About as well as you'd expect. I'm a certified lawyer now. Shows you how seriously we can take the justice system, right?"
As you have some small talk with your friend however the girls barge in. "Huh... This place is... dirtier than I remember." Caulifla comments.
"He-hey! It's the alien babes! How's it goin'?"
They ignore him for a while before they throw themselves on the couch. Testing the springs on it by constantly bouncing on them, they look at you. "Can't believe your old place was this bad!"
"Remind me, where does your gang hang out?"
"In an abandoned warehouse."
"And you criticize my home?"
"Yes?"
But Sam cuts you off by slamming his hands on the table. "I appreciate the fact that you ignored me but let's get back to the issue at hand. Why are you here?"
"Because I live here?"
"No, you're not."
"But I pay rent."
"True. But you aren't here unless you want something."
Scratching the back of your head you choose to simply blurt out why you came. "Erm... I got these kids here. They are aliens and I'm showing them around. Would you mind if the girls stayed here for a bit? You can... watch some movies together."
Sam smiled. "Nice!" In response you glared daggers at him like never before and he reached for his collar. "Ouch... Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?"
But you tone the Doomslayer down a bit.
"Think about the possibilities! They haven't seen anything made on Earth. You can go nuts if you want."
"Heh... Nice!"
"Okay. Now that that's settled, I'll be back shortly. Oh and... word of advice: Don't feed them anything. Ever."
"Why? Are they like gremlins or somethin'?"
"No. They'll just eat you out of house and home."
"Okay kids, time to go!" As you lead them out through the front door you hear Sam opening something, either a bag of chips or popcorn.
Either way, you weep for the poor fool for not heeding your advice.
Walking outside you stop and breathe in that familiar air before Oren gives you a funny look. "My readings indicate the air is full of pollutant. How are you enjoying this?"
"It's because I grew up here."
"It stinks." Kamin responds.
"Yeap! Now come on! I'll show you what this nasty little place has in store for you!"
The obvious place for them to hit up is first and foremost, a mall. For starters their entire attire consists of identical copies of the same outfit they were given on Plant, which in the case of the twins was designed for battle.
And a skin-tight bodysuit with only a pair of color coded jackets to differentiate the two, is NOT acceptable casualwear.
"Okay kids. Prepare to see something magical.
Now for a few rules:
1.) You can run around as much as you want, as long as you stay in my sight
2.) Ask before you touch anything.
And last: If you want something just ask. Don't take anything that's not yours. People don't like that.
Understood?" They nod. "Good! Then let's go!"
Picking up Lyn and letting her ride your shoulders you make your way to the nearest shopping mall, which might as well be a candy shop for them. Their eyes twinkle in excitement as they are overwhelmed by all that visual stimuli. Never have they seen so many... things in one place.
Almost immediately they start bombarding you with questions. "What's this?"
"This is a mall. People come here to purchase all kinds of things. Don't worry. We'll go through everything so take your time and just... take it all in!"
"Woooow!"
They look around and the glittering lights fracturing on the windows combined with the sparkling products and baubles they sell might as well have blinded the kids.
Running around from store to store they squished their faces against the glass as they looked in. To say that it was all overwhelming would be an understatement. You might as well have taken them to the amusement park, they are having so much fun just looking at ALL the things.
However this is not really productive so you did your best to rein them in and give them some semblance of control. As you went from store to store you proceeded to- You could buy... well the entire place. Rather easily in fact. However it's not about "could", it's about "should". And you definitely shouldn't do that.
Instead you strike a bargain with them. They each get... something. Each of them will get at least a full set of clothes and something else, something fun. And should they behave well they might get more.
"Here's how we'll do it! We go through the entire place, check everything out. Then you can pick whatever you liked the most. How does that sound?"
"Fine by us."
"Good, good! Now let's not waste any more time!"
But before looking for some clothes you stopped for some snacks. Naturally some candy for the kids and some gummy bears for you. The people around gave you some rather... odd glares but after informing them that they are yours they didn't seem to mind.
It was easy to sell too, since both Kamin and Oren shifted their hair around so they have the same color as yours and Lyn has that naturally.
Once that was over you walked through the place, stopping here and there whenever you bumped into something that caught the kids' attention. A toystore here, a cinema there, all the good stuff. The more they saw the more enthusiastic they became, to the point that you almost felt jealous. For them this whole thing was like exploring strange, new lands and journeying into the unknown.
But before they could have too much fun you reorientated them towards your goal and went about buying some clothes for them. And you went a bit overboard too... You ended up buying a lot of outfits for each of them.
Clothing is important after all.
And once you felt like you sufficiently clothed your kids and you looked like one of those typical fathers on a shopping spree, you had several different bags dangling on your arms.
"Okay... Now that the practical things are taken care of... let's get some ice cream before we get to the fun stuff."
"Ice cream? Is that the stuff you feed to Champa? No thanks." Kamin responds.
"Oh it's nothing like that! Come!"
You took them to the nearby parlor and introduced them to the wonderful world of frozen desserts. Kamin was skeptical at first but after you introduced her to the many, many, MANY different types of confections you can make out of them. She opted for an ice cream sundae while the rest of you settled for some regular cones.
As you sat down and got to enjoying this little refreshment however something happened.
Something you expected or rather dreaded would happen. And a boy, probably around 14 to 15 years old starts hitting on Kamin.
You're willing to give Kamin the benefit of the doubt and let her handle this. But you can't say the same about the boy. So you watch him like a hawk, ready to jump in at a moments notice. However it looks like your concern was unneeded as Kamin seems to have this under control.
For a few moments she doesn't even know what's happening but when the boy makes the mistake of attempting to sit down she glares at him. "Get lost!"
Her command was firm and sharp. And that glare of hers was unlike anything the boy has ever seen, like a tiger looking at him with murderous intent. The sad little boy is so taken back that he stumbles backwards and falls on his ass, his croneys laugh at him hysterically. But he simply stands up and with sweat trickling down his forehead he runs to them. "We gotta get out of here!"
"What-"
"NOW!!" And there they go. Chuckling you walk over to her and pat her on the back.
Returning to the matter at hand you all quickly finished your treats and got to buying the kids something that caught their interests. For Kamin, it was an electric guitar that caught her eye. Oren in turn practically fell in love with a skateboard once you explained to him what it's for. And Lyn... For your precious it's only the greatest thing you could think of.
Legos. An assload of legos. Now the only thing you're curious about is if God Ki protects you from the unholy pain of stepping on one. We'll just have to see.
Luckily for you the twins agreed to carry their own stuff so you only had to strap on Lyns new acquisition on your arm. It's not painful per se but once you take these added weights off you're sure to look like a tiger with all those stripes you're gonna get.
Leaving the mall itself you finally get to breathe fresh air and hear Kamin speaking up.
"Man... I did not expect this!"
"Yeah!" Oren added. "It's totally unlike back at Champas! It's so... bustling! Noisy! I love it!"
"Eh... I like the quiet." Kamin actually doesn't agree with her brother.
"Well-" You respond. "Both have their charm.
I lived most of my life in the city but I grew up on a farm... So I can see the appeal of both."
"What's a farm?"
"It's uh... Remember the gardens on Champas?" They nod. "It's like that but much bigger. You have a house next to a big garden and some animals and live there. You work a lot and... yeah..." Your tone becomes much more somber.
"Well... I'd like to go see it one day."
"Me too!"
"Me three!"
You crouch down and pat Lyn on the head.
"Maybe I'll take you to a petting zoo instead!
There really isn't much to see there. Only vegetables and... animals."
Concluding your business in the shopping mall you pondered on what to do next.
Walking to a secluded area you told the kids to wait while you portal hopped back to the apartment where Caulifla and Kale were left at Sams mercy. By the looks of things and all the used tissues littering the place Sam is just about done with his "Trial by fire" where he gauges a person by subjecting them to one of his favorites: The Last Samurai "Oh hi Eric."
Your friend greeted you while you gave him a condescending look. "What?"
"Really? You started with this? I told you they haven't seen a movie before!"
"They seem to like it."
*sniff sniff* "P-Piss off Eric!" Caulifla told you off while trying desperately to blow her nose.
"Okay, okay. I'll leave you to it." Gently putting down the bags, with a snap of your finger you open up another portal and leave the way you came, returning to the kids. "Okay... Let's go and actually have some fun then."
They exchange an odd look. "This was fun..."
"No, it was a novelty. You haven't seen fun YET!"
Hitting up the local zoo you immediately encounter some... resistance from the children. "It smells really baaaad..." Lyn complains as you pat her head.
"It's the price we have to pay sweety.
Don't worry, you'll forget about it real soon."
Going up to the front gates you start questioning the lady inside. "So erm... Do you have a discount for one adult and three kids?
No?... Okay... Fine."
You end up buying one adult and three child tickets. Not that you can't afford it but it's still a ripoff. However in the end it proved to be worth it as the kids jaw drops when they start spotting the animals inside. The penguins, a favorite among the children are right there by the entrance and the Tuffles all rush off to check them out.
"Woooow! What are these?"
"They are flightless birds. They live in cold regions and eat fishes."
"And this place is full of them?"
"What? Nononono! This is a Zoo! It has ALL KINDS of animals! Not just penguins!"
The kids couldn't believe their own ears.
As you go from exhibit to exhibit you try to introduce each animal by giving the kids a vague explanation about them which earns you more than a few glances from onlookers.
The red pandas end up being a personal favorite of Lyn who wants to stay and watch the cute little critters fool around.
"Are they... aware that they are imprisoned?"
"I mean... I guess? They are not intelligent by any means. They are just animals."
"And you stick them in cages just so you could look at them?"
"They are taken care of. And trust me they are in far better hands than in the wild. Here nobody tries to kill any of them, they get plenty of food and water each day... and they are also protected."
"Protected? From what?"
"Hunters. Many of these animals are endangered. There are a lot of animals whose populations in the wilds is too small, mostly due to us. So we try our best to keep them safe here, help them repopulate and later release them back into the wild. But there are many, many species that are now extinct."
"Was it all you?"
"No. Not by a long shot. Our planet had many extinction events. Seems to be a theme...
There is a group of MASSIVE lizards called dinosaurs that used to roam the planet. They died well before we even existed and now you can only see them as skeletons. Maybe I'll show them to you if you're interested. But it's true that we did kill our fair share of animals. Even entire species."
But as you're giving this little lecture you hear Lyn laughing as the pandas keep rolling around in an adorable manner. "Hahahahaha! They are so cute! Can I have one daddy?"
"Errr.... Y-You can't they-"
"Whyyyy?" She looks at you with teary eyes.
You pat her gently on the head and kneel down to face her. "Look Lyn... You can't take them away."
"Why?"
"Because all their friends are here. They'd be sad if one of them left."
"I see..." She looks down, clearly saddened.
Reaching over the railing she waves them off.
"Byebye! Have fun with your friends!"
"Good girl!" Then you picked her up and carried her on your shoulders. "You know what? For being such a grown up... I'll get you one."
"Really?"
"Yes!"
After a quick trip to the gift shop you did as promised and bought her a plushie of a red panda. Thankfully those are pretty popular so they always have some in stock. But the look Lyn gave you when she realized what was happening was priceless. Once the thing was in her hands she hugged it to death. "THANKS DADDY!"
"You're welcome Lyn. Now... will you promise me to cheer up?"
"Uh-huh!"
"Good! Now... Let us continue!"
With the situation successfully defused you took them through the rest of the zoo, stopping momentarily at the chimps and explaining how you share an ancestor with them. "You people evolved from monkeys?"
"Apes technically. But yes. Why? What did Tuffles evolve from?"
"Plants."
"Figures."
"Nono. Not plant plants. From the race Plants. Plantians. Or they... assimilated them... or exterminated them. One of those 3."
"The archives were pretty hazy after a certain point. Really anything beyond the war with the Saiyans is... unreliable at best."
"I'm leaning towards the theory that the Tuffles have something to do with the Plants as both were around the same height.
So there is some correlation there."
"Oh yeeeeah... I remember that. The Tuffles used to be short, right?" You respond in surprise.
"Right. That shortcoming was one of the first things they fixed. They had... trouble coping with their shortness."
"Heh... Napoleon complex. Or just manlets being manlets."
"What's that?"
"NOTHING!"
But after all of that and after witnessing all that the zoo had to offer you had to take your leave because it was getting late and the zoo was about to close soon. So you took the kids out and left the premises before being greeted by this.
The twins rush ahead and turn around to face you. With wide smiles and toothy grins they spoke up. "Thanks Eric! This was really fun!"
"Yeah! I especially liked all those lizards!
They were cool!"
Looking up you see Lyn shaking her plushie right in front of your face. With a smile you put her down and hugged all three of them. "I'm glad you liked it. Really. And we could come back... if you're interested. Maybe even check out a museum and see all those animals that don't walk around anymore."
"Hehe... Why not?"
"Yeah! This planet... It's not at all bad!"
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