Capítulo 113: Without a Doubt, Work Never Ceases. (22.2)
…
Whoever designed the Dungeon was a lazy prick. The initial levels were just tunnels, caverns, a petrified forest, and then a whole crystal theme for the Floors before Under Resort. For a giant, underground monster incubator, you'd think that there would be some interesting locations to visit. However, that wasn't the case. Floors after that could just be generalized into the average video game smattering of stages. There were forest stages, lava stages, frost stages, and water stages. Sure, in real life, they were incredibly deadly, but there wasn't anything memorable about it!
There weren't any puzzles to figure out, shortcuts to use, or events where you had to sneak around. I mean, sure, that makes it easy for expeditions to pass through and ensures Familias don't have to worry about their supply lines, but it was incredibly boring to be able to just torch everything with lightning, pry out monster crystals, and then walk down into one jungle inside a cave after another. Sure there were Monster Pantries, Green Dragons, and areas where monsters would ambush you, but those were side objectives! They didn't need to be dealt with! Ergo, they were just tacked on additions that didn't really make the Dungeon anything special!
In short, though I'd expected to relax and find some interesting things in the 20th and 30th Floors of the Dungeon, all I found were just boring monsters with a gimmick or two, and I spent most of my time just looking for places to farm monsters. Sure, I appreciated the fact that my old tactics which netted me millions of Valis a day were now drawing in triple the original amount, but there wasn't exactly anything… grand about the situation. I was overqualified and over-levelled for the area, true, but shouldn't there still be challenges for me to face? Actual interesting monsters to fight?
Hobgoblins were interesting, but they were just buffed up versions of the runts I killed by just kicking them at Level 1, meaning that I easily did the same with them. The Lizardmen used tools made from the Dungeon's materials, and even nets made of vines from the trees, but they were just a direct upgrade from the orcs. Not a threat. Boring even. The poisonous mushrooms, giant insects, and floating eyeballs were freaky at first, but I was essentially the world's biggest bug zapper. None of them were a threat if they were burnt to a crisp. Firebirds were just flying hellhounds with double the rate of fire; i.e. still not fast enough to not die to lightning.
My students, bless whoever taught them to be so diligent in their notetaking (me), provided me with all the movement lists and attacks each monster had available, meaning that their only hope of hurting me, which was the element of surprise, was completely beyond their reach.
When I left, there was the whole issue with the difficulty spiking because the Dungeon wanted to keep me down and kill me, but it was a non-issue. Sure, if I were a regular mage I would've died after going solo so deeply into the Dungeon, but that wasn't the case for me. Even if the Dungeon had sent three times all the monsters I'd killed, I still wouldn't have been threatened in the least.
Overall, I ended up with two bags filled with drops and monster cores when I decided to make my way back up to the surface. I had to ditch the lesser valued items into caches set up by Arde and the others, refill the bags with more valued drops, and lug an absolutely ludicrous number of bags up to the surface.
Enough bags to actually get caught in the door frame of the Guild.
Yep, definitely, I wasn't going back into the Dungeon without a student (pack mule) to help me out.
…
I placed the bag of a million Valis on the table. While there were plenty of bound bills in it, I'd intentionally asked for a few rolls of coins. The "pomf" that the bag made on the table was very satisfying. Also, I just achieved my childhood dream of carrying around a burlap sack filled with money. There was no green Yen symbol on it anywhere, but nothing is perfect. I was happy with what I could get.
"Hikigaya, if you damaged my table, you're paying for it!" The silence of my delivery was easily broken by Grande's loud voice. While most of the customers at the Hostess of Fertility decided to turn back to their meals, a few looked at the sack with greedy eyes. I made sure to meet the gaze of each one that did. They all backed down. Man, it sure was nice to have a reputation. "You better get that thing off the table before my girls put the food down!"
I waved Grande's worries off and focused on the individuals gathered before me.
"There's the prize money." Some of the Hestia Familia were drinking the frothy beer that the Hostess served, but I stuck with water. Sometimes I had cider, but for the most part the water in Orario was clean thanks to the incredible sewage system. No need to worry about contamination as a cause of disease here. You're more likely to be killed instead of dying from any sort of sickness! I took my seat and took a sip of the cooled water I'd been provided. "Cranel, if you don't win it, you'll owe me a million Valis."
"Eh, I get punished if I don't win!?" Yes, indeed. Losing doesn't mean anything if you don't lose anything. That doesn't make sense. Life isn't fair. Yadda, yadda. I'm hungry. I'll grouse about life later. Food comes first. My breakfast lasted quite a bit, as expected of a meal meant to keep farmers full, but I doubted my stomach had enough space to store enough food to keep me going. Nourish worked fine, of course, but it didn't replace food. "That isn't fair, Sensei!"
"Life isn't fair, brat. Also, before you complain anymore, life isn't difficult. You're just not very good at it." Sitting next to Arde, I checked my Pallum student for any injuries before handing over my notebook to her. It was technically my copy of her experiences in Floors 20 to 30, but I considered it mine because I corrected a few mistakes and added some new passages. Yep, you may have written 95% percent of that book, but by law you have to put my name in as a co-author! Of course, that means Zaimokuza can only call himself a co-author for literally everything he's ever written (lol)."So, anyone else actually going for this prize? Or are you all just going to leave the fate of Orario in Cranel's incapable hands?"
"Hey, I heard that "Incapable" you said right there, Sensei!"
"You were meant to, brat."
"Well, I suppose me and the girls need some new clothes for Spring." What exactly do you intend to wear, Belka-san. You barely wear anything for winter! What the hell are you going to be wearing for spring!? I don't know if you've noticed, but this is a PG-13 environment save for the fight scenes! Yeah, that's right! Girls aren't allowed to show anything besides skin, but you're free to decapitate people! The leader of the Barbelas tapped at her chin. "Hmmm, why not? I suppose it's about time the girls and I did something besides look intimidating or kill monsters."
"I will find a way to deal with the Rakia army, Sensei." Arde gave me a nod. My Pallum student gave Cranel a pointed look. Was that a smirk on your face? Was that for the terrible things you intended to do the army? Or for the defeat you're going to render unto Cranel? Well, since the former would lead to the latter, I supposed it would be safe to say she was thinking smiling about the first. You can't lose a guessing game if you take both possible outcomes! What do you mean that's cheating? "Erisuis and Nelly have elected to fight by my side."
"…Yama-chan… please tell me you're helping me." Cranel, seeing this immediately turned to his Yamato Nadeshiko. I considered the situation carefully. Hmmm, yes, indeed. You chose poorly just a few days ago Cranel. Hmmm, yes, do you remember exactly who you latched onto the moment she entered the hot spring resort? Why yes, indeed, you chose a certain Sword Princess who is currently in the Dungeon farming for money. Ah, I see that you're still weak against the formidable Skill known as the Cold Shoulder. "Yama-chan? Yama-chan, eh?"
Don't worry Cranel, she's just playing hard to get. When Wallenstein elects to help you, Yamato will latch onto you faster than Zaimokuza can attack a plate of dango. Well, maybe. That tubby bastard can move really quick if there's food involved. It was probably one of his 3 Zaimokuza Skills. The other two are, of course, being able to ignore being stared at in disgust and rebounding from critics. All three are double-edged swords. The first made the tubby bastard a tubby bastard, the second convinced him being odd was okay, and the third was terrible because he never learned. Hey, look at that, I can avoid calling him the shitty author of this world by just calling him a shitty person!
"Though I risk sounding obvious, I'll go ahead and say that you can't exactly be a leader without anyone following you, Cranel." The food sure was taking a bit of time to come. I supposed that serving around ten people was different from four or five. When was the last time I actually ate at the Hostess of Fertility anyway? Maybe I was just being hungry, but I was seriously looking forward to eating one of the absurdly large meals Grande prided herself in making. Crossing my arms, I went through my head for any advice I could give to my floundering student. "Hmmm, have you considered making friends?"
"Sensei, how can you be so mean!?"
Ah, oops, teehee.
"Don't act cute, it's just scary when you try!"
Hey, those sort of words hurt, y'know!?
"Ah, Bell-kun!" There was a sudden shift in the wind, a moment where something truly unexpected occurred. Cranel as I knew him disappeared and was replaced by the creature known as a Harem Protagonist. One moment we were conversing like two normal individuals and the next he was being smothered in marshmallow hell. Oh yeah, Flova existed. I forgot about her, teehee. Looks like Yamato will be joining the battle before Wallenstein offers aid to my albino student. "Mou, how could you leave for so long! My, my you've grown though!" The friendliest waitress of the whole café, which really wasn't an achievement, pulled away from Cranel with a beatific smile on her features that swiftly turned to a pout. "Y'know, I made you a lot of lunches you never picked up! Even if you're a great warrior, you still have to eat! You can't fight on an empty stomach!"
At that moment, as soon as those words left Flova's mouth, the Harem Protagonist disappeared and the tactician I was struggling to summon came forth. Woah, amazing, was this what they called a moment of clarity!? Wait. The moment of clarity came from him being smothered in a woman's chest! Dammit, the Harem Protagonist side of Cranel was actually the tactician as well!? How the hell was I supposed to call that being forth on demand!?
"Ah, Syr, you're the best!" Cranel abruptly returned the attack. Given my student's usual density, the counterattack caught the waitress off guard! It was a critical hit! Flova is down and cannot defend herself! Please be merciful, Harem Protagonist! "I'll make the whole of Rakia feel the same as I did during my first months of Orario!" Uh, that smile and that determination is quite scary with the words you're saying, brat. "I'll starve them out by taking away all their supplies!"
Unexpectedly, my student had a cruel side.
Oxymoronic thought the phrase might be, it was a pleasant surprise.
...
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