Capítulo 76: Interlude: The Lonely Champion. (Part 2)
…
For perhaps the first time, I saw that Hikigaya Hachiman was content. Though he tried to hide it, to maintain his posture, I found that he derived no small amount of joy from meeting Orimoto Kaori. They were of the same Familia and have known each other for years and years, so his reaction upon finding her was to be expected. Despite his own disdain for company, I was sure that Hikigaya yearned for a companion. Someone that he trusted with everything he had and more. A person who he could undeniably, undoubtedly trust. Naturally, after years of being alone and inhabiting Orario, he was happy after finding that person.
All those truths did not make looking upon the two of them any easier.
Though I would like to say that I saw my past Familia between the two, that I couldn't help but remember my own friends and family, I knew better than to lie to myself. Foolishness and self-deception accompanied one another like old friends. Once upon a time, I'd been convinced that violence was the only answer and that vengeance was the only form of justice. I'd nearly died after throwing away the ideals that my Familia had upheld. I'd learned from my mistakes. So, now, I couldn't hope to delude myself in believing anything else but the truth.
Someway, somehow I had begun to wish to be a person who Hikigaya Hachiman needed and trusted. Not only that, but seeing that role taken by another left me to stew in a plethora of unpleasant emotions.
Of course, while I was sure that Hikigaya wouldn't realize my feelings on the matter, I didn't take into account Orimoto herself.
"Lyon-chan, it's been a while." Orimoto, the girl who'd declared me to be Hikigaya's friend and her own by default, wore the clothes she was given well. Her mask, meant to hide her features, was in her hand. It allowed me to see the redness of her eyes. Though I tried to commiserate, the feeling wouldn't come. I nodded a greeting towards her, not trusting my own voice. A sigh escaped her lips. "You know, Lyon-chan, Hikigaya-kun has a lot of trouble letting other people in." She didn't allow me to break away from her gaze. "I'm sorry about that. It's mostly my fault."
The words were spare and simple, but I felt my teeth grind. Of course, I could clearly see that their relationship was more than both of them implied. There was no reason for her to explain it. Hikigaya kept plenty of secrets from me, many of them small and capricious in nature, so why not this one? He most certainly must have treasured this particular secret far more than all the other ones he had.
My thoughts were interrupted as Orimoto suddenly stomped her foot. Given that she equaled me in strength, being on her Fourth Step of Divinity, the ground shook noticeably.
"Oi, you two, think before you act." Hikigaya's growling response was immediate. Though speaking with Bors, haggling the price down for more material, he was nonetheless able to respond. I was convinced that he either had another set of ears on the back of his head or a Skill that allowed him to focus on multiple subjects at once. His ability to respond to simultaneous threats was unparalleled. "Rivira can't handle two Level 4s acting like brats."
I was glad that he hadn't turned to look at the two of us. The embarrassment and shame I'd have felt would have been too much if he had.
"Let me finish talking before you assume anything!" Orimoto took Hikigaya's comment in stride, crossing her arms and giving a huff without so much as a pause. They spoke to one another with ease. Once I'd thought that was merely the case with all humans, but I was wrong. Being able to speak without fear or caution was only for families or close friends. "Hikigaya has a hard time letting other people in, because the first time he tried… that person cut ties with him without a second thought."
"…." Even in Familias, some would not get along. Though I had been blessed with a good Familia, with all of us in Astraea-sama's service being good to one another, I was sure that Hikigaya wouldn't have been able to be pleasant to anyone, let alone everyone. Meanwhile Orimoto, since I'd first met her, had never failed to be jubilant. Hikigaya, without his years and experiences, would latch onto someone kind as many lonely individuals would. A phrase he once uttered entered my mind. I prefer the truth, no matter how harsh it is. The opposite embodiment was right before me. "…You."
"We never got along well after that. He avoided me and I did the same. Eventually, we made up, but… well, nothing ever stays the same, y'know?" Orimoto scratched at her chin as she confirmed my statement. There were no smiles or laughter from her. I could see how focused she was, how earnestly she was trying to explain despite her discomfort. This was something between two members of a Familia. I could hardly speak about the friends I lost, yet here she was willingly sharing with me something she was immensely displeased about. "Then, we all got separated, I was sent here without knowing where anyone else was, I spent years without anyone else from my Familia, doing what I could to stay alive here in Rivira…." Her lip quivered, but she shook her head. I could only grasp at the machinations of their god, the reasons why any divine being would put their children through such trials, but I knew that any answer I could discern would be wrong. The gods did not think as mortals did. "…and now he's here and I can't help but be happy that I have someone back."
"He trusts you because you're part of his Familia and you share the same goal." I tried not to sound… relieved. Given that a ghost of a smile played on Orimoto's lips, I did not succeed. I bent my head before her in apology as I felt shame crawl up my cheeks. "My apologies, I hadn't meant to sound so crass—"
"No, it's okay. It's kinda funny, but I wish that more people were as honest as you." A giggle left Orimoto's lips. It wasn't hollow, but neither was it truly happy. It was a sound that reminded me more of a sigh. There was history that I wasn't aware of, despite everything I was told. I wondered if things had changed between the two of them. She told me that she and Hachiman had made up, that everything had been settled, and they now strived to work with one another, but was that the case for her? I wanted to ask, but I couldn't seem to find my words as I looked upon the softly smiling girl before me. "I can see why Hikigaya-kun likes you. The two of you are very similar. You hold your hearts on your sleeves even though you lock them away."
There were many questions that I wanted to ask Orimoto, but before I could I noticed another presence nearby.
"Kaori." Bors Elder's deep voice drew the two of us from our conversation. Within moments, Orimoto managed to put on her mask. Her body changed before my eyes. Her shoulders straightened, her hand rose and waved, and she rose to her tiptoes in glee. A smile was on her face as she happily greeted Rivira's representative. "Hey, what's gotten you so happy?" Elder gave a chuckle as he approached us. I see. "Happy that you're finally leaving this dump?"
"Hilarious!" Orimoto laughed and the plain mask Hachiman gave her bounced on her hip. The girl placed her hands on her sides and shook her head. The girl was the very picture of glee and charm. However, unlike the Amazon who'd cried over Hachiman, I doubted that the person I saw now was who she really was. I understood her hidden intent. Though her words didn't have her say it, the personality I saw before me, the cheerful, nice girl I saw, must have been what drew him to her. He hadn't tried to get her trust, no, I was sure that he had fallen for her mask and she rejected him. "As if, Bors! You're just trying to make excuses to kick me out, aren't you?"
"I kick you out and I'll probably get my ass kicked to Floor 70 and back by all your fans." Elder grinned and shook his head. I noticed that he carried a package on his back. The man, without preemption, threw it at Orimoto who caught it with a feigned huff. The man scratched his cheek. "Here, it's a few arrows and trinkets to see you getting back in one piece. There would be more, but there aren't exactly many people awake this hour." I knew Rivira's representative. The man before me, thoughtful and considerate, wasn't that man. This very scene was Orimoto telling me what she couldn't put into words. Through action, she told me the truth that she couldn't bring herself to say aloud. "It isn't much, but—"
Seeing enough, I took a step back and excused myself.
Orimoto's gaze shifted towards me as I left, words on her lips readied, but I shook my head and bid her farewell with a wordless wave.
My thoughts were sated and the tumultuous emotions I'd felt earlier had faded away.
Nothing more needed to be said between Orimoto and myself.
"Done sticking your nose into gossip, Lyon?" Hachiman didn't turn to greet me. There was no spring in his step, change in his body, or any other sign of glee at the sight of me. Though he had held Orimoto, let her cry in his arms, he greeted me as he normally did before he had fallen asleep and lost his arm. I had thought that the contrast had meant something. That though I had helped him while he was unconscious, despite the moment we shared, he thought no more of me than he used to. However, after seeing Orimoto, I knew what he was doing. He didn't wish to worry others, have others aid him, or receive any words of kindness and commiseration. The fact that he had asked me for my help held greater meaning than I originally believed. "Oi, are you going to say something or are you just going to stand there?"
He went still as I grasped the fabric hiding his loss.
"I will help you in any way I can, Hachiman." The words I needed to say, perhaps what I should've said the moment I'd felt what I had, left me. Despite his own wit and guile, I couldn't allow him to dictate what was between the two of us. He was too wary and I could easily be confused. It was simpler and better to say what I needed to say, so that I wouldn't find myself in the same situation I had been moments ago. I didn't like it. If nothing changes, then everything stays the same. I didn't want that. "Even if you have nothing you can offer, if you ever need me, don't hesitate to ask."
Hachiman's silence at my statement drowned out everything else. In that moment, I forgot everything as I just waited for his answer. I wondered what was going through his head, what he thought and discerned from my words, and what was going to happen. He could reject my help or accept it. Those were the only two options available to the two of us. There were no clever words to be shared between the two of us. Both he and I knew that this moment wasn't meant for guile or cunning. Everything between the two of us hung on the question and the answer.
Finally, he took a breath, and answered with a whisper.
"…Thank you, Ryuu."
With those words, I felt content.
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