James Danvers
It didn't happen right away but after a few minutes I was able to cox Z inside. After that my mom came downstairs. Even though I was able to get her inside, I was not able to get her to calm down a whole lot since then. I stand in front of Z and my mom as she tries to get Z to calm down and tell her what happened. I've made her tear up a few times sure I have but never managed to make her cry like this. So this can't be about me or something i've done or at least not completely.
"Sweetie, I need you to breathe and tell me what happened."
Z takes a few quick stifled breaths while wiping tears from her eyes.
"I told him, I-I-I told him everything."
"You told who everything?" My mother questioned.
"My dad, I t-told him what happened and he-he kicked me out."
Right after her last word she began to sob long and hard. How could he do something like that? Just abandon his daughter to be on her own!
"Well, Kiki is still knocked out but you should be able to sneak into her room and sleep in there for tonight."
"Or, she could sleep in my room."
Z looks right at me. Damn, I meant to think that but not to say it out loud. With our relationship the way it is right now, that could be the worst idea.
"I don't think…"
"Ok," Z immediately interrupts.
"While I do love the fact that you seem to be stepping up James I just don't think that having her in the same room with you is a good idea."
"But why not mom? I mean after all Kiki is already asleep and I have a sleeping bag so Z can take the bed and I can just sleep on the floor."
My mom takes a deep breath and sighs.
"Ok fine. It will take too long to change the sheets but I can get you another blanket to sleep with."
Z nods her head as my mom gets up and heads upstairs. I slowly guide Z upstairs and to my room. Mom comes in and I help her set up the bed for Z and then I set up my sleeping bag on the floor.
"Alright, we will talk more in the morning. Goodnight you two."
"Night mom."
"Goodnight and thank you."
Mom closes the door and I take a deep breath in and out.
"James."
Z's voice seems so small now. Smaller than it was earlier.
"Yeah, what's up? Is everything ok?"
"No, it's not." She says as her voice starts to crack. I stand up from the floor and sit on the side of the bed, closer to where her knees seem to be.
"I thought that if I was honest with him, that he wouldn't be mad. But he was. And he's right."
Her voice slowly cracks even more.
"Right about what?"
"That I'm…. a disappointment to him and mom. That she would hate me and think I'm stupid and a slut for getting pregnant like this!"
Z bursts out into tears again and cups her face in her hands. Did he really say that to her face? Can't he see that she is going through enough already without him dogging her about this?
"You are not a disappointment. In fact, your mom would be so proud of you and how you are handling it all."
"Really?" She sniffles.
"Yeah. Z look, your mom cared for you more than anything else in the world and that will always be clear. You were her pride and joy. If she were here right now she would hug you and hold you tight and let you know that everything is going to be okay and that no matter what happens she will be right by your side. And the same thing goes for me."
Z takes her head out of her hands and latches onto me. She holds me tight as she continues to sob but slowly calm herself down. After a few minutes I take her shoulders and pull her away a little bit. I look right at her face. Stained with tears, her eyes incredibly red, and a black satin cap on her head.
"We uh should head to bed now. You have had a very long day."
Z nods her head and begins to lay down in my bed. I take the blanket and lay it over top of her. I get back down on the ground and slip into my sleeping bag.
"James?"
"Yeah Z?"
"Thank you."
"Anytime"
I reach up and turn off the light. Normally I can go right to sleep without any form of problem but my mind would not shut down. All I can think about is Z. How she is right above me, in her extra set of PJ's that stay at our house in case of emergency. But more than any of that, How when she looked at me her face was so close to mine. How I had to resist every urge in my body as humanly possible to not kiss and touch her. To not make the pain she feels go away by supplying it with a different form of pain. The urge to not want her. God, what is wrong with me?