Harry Potter A New Story

LV 10

End0

you have some potential. but you need to read more you make rookie mistakes and commit so many clichés it physically hurt to read your work. read 100 of the top harry potter fanfiction. plus the books again the attempt this again

LV 14

Crytach

... the grammar is bad, there is no question about it... yes the author did attempt to use advanced vocabulary and grammar structures but they used it incorrectly which made it hard to overlook. I couldn't even finish the first chapter. I can never understand why authors refuse to use grammarly or an equivalent.

LV 4

Darius_Chromwell

This gets very religious very fast and personally that makes this almost unreadable for me. also there are several spelling errors that while are funny like (Tom marvell riddle) make it harder to focus on the plot.

LV 3

MrRando146

10/10 would recommend ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌█████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌████████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌█████████┌┌ ███┌┌┌┌█████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌█████┌ ██┌┌┌███████┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌ ██┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌ ███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌█████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌ ┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌ ┌┌████████████┌┌┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌ ┌███┌██████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌ ┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌ ┌┌████┌████┌██████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██┌ ┌┌┌████████████┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌ ┌┌┌┌██┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███████┌┌ ┌┌┌┌████┌┌┌┌┌┌████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌████████┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌████████████┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌█┌█┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌███┌┌┌┌┌┌█████┌┌█████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██████████████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌██████████████┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌ ┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌┌

LV 5

eternalice

Never seen a more idiotic HPversr story. It's so bad it can't even be called a parody.....an idiotic know it all MC ....who is literally 'Messiah'. Take care y'all who read it.

LV 4

Avast

The overall story is very good, except for one fact. The MC family lineages here seems to be forced to me, it seems like the author wants every major characters in HP series to be connected to Ophis family. Anyway, I'll give the story five stars except for the World Background. Keep up the good work author! There is not many good HP series around here anymore

LV 1

Little_Sapling

I cringed so hard reading this that I might actually have a headache now. A vain and 'pardon-my-french' retarted main character that the author so desperately wants people to think is actually interesting and charismatic, despite EVERY. SINGLE. DIALOGUE. saying otherwise. Awful vocabulary. Awful grammar. Awful pacing. Awful settings and extreme OOC from beloved characters. The only reason I even bothered leaving a review is because this work has a much higher rating then it deserves.

LV 14

JoSauer

5 stars for World Background. The story so far, character interactions, mc's companions/romance developements, grammar and magic theory are all meh

LV 15

i_love_cultivation

could have been a great book but having a mc that still has his memory of what its like as a adult can turn your readers off when the mc is a child with a grown mans outlook on life. I mean you wrote that he could stare at his mother to sooth his nerves and because he has the mentality of a adult it comes off as him lusting for his mother. it was at this point that i started to loose interest in the story. and started skipping. And i know it is a asian thing to have a "young master" but this will only make sense if your character IS of asian descent, this character sounds white i mean he starts off in a European country and from what i know of the Nobility, children of Titled Lords and ladies have the suffix of The Hon before their given names. ie, The Hon lady..... The hon lord.....

LV 4

Bob_Uchiha_XD

I started reading from chapter 29. It's an interesting story from that chapter. [img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp]

LV 3

Daoistu841Ie

Reaction star wars clone wars fight obi wan vs darth Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow Flow

LV 4

G2l

Google translator---->simplemente genial ,sigue asi[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]

LV 1

No_Name_No_Life

Is it just hp or multiverse novel ? ........................................................................................................

LV 1

vagavegta368

very very good .............................................................................................................................

LV 14

Alex_Boen

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

LV 1

Legacyweapon

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

LV 1

jadeheart_bustos

Up up Up up Up up

LV 1

M_isabel

Z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z Z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z Z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z