Capítulo 8: A letter not worth reading
[ Diana pov ]
Diana woke up to the coldness of the floor, her muscles aching and her bones asking for a comfortable place to sleep. Her mind was still hazy because of the party she went to the previous night, slight dizziness bothered her, yet nothing she hadn't felt before. At this point she was almost numb to the hangovers and waking up in pain had almost become the rule. Moving slowly, she managed to get to the bathroom, where she washed her face with the cold water while looking at herself in the mirror.
Perhaps because of the movement or simply due to the dizziness, Diana was forced to hurry to the toilet, where she remained throwing up for what felt like an eternity. Focusing her attention on herself, she could feel nothing but the nausea and stomach-ache that began tormenting her once she got to the bathroom.
"Christina!" she screamed while calling her daughter, however no answer came. "Christina!!" she called once again, this time louder. While waiting for her daughter to answer, she was forced to place her head into the toilet once again, while her throat began to burn as soon as the familiar feeling returned.
After waiting a bit longer, her body still numb, she decided to call for the other person that should be here. She wasn't sure of what time it was, but that woman she hired years ago came usually early in the morning, right after she left to work, so perhaps she had already arrived. "Ughh, what was her name again?" Diana asked herself. Her head felt like it was about to break and everything was extremely blurred out. "Right, I think it was like a Disney princess..." continued Diana while still talking to herself, occasionally passing to throw up. "Jasmine!" she screamed as soon as she remembered the name.
Once again she was forced to remain waiting as no reply came back. "Ugh, why do I even pay her if she doesn't come!" said Christina, the combination of dizziness as well as the pain her body was in along with the hangover and uncomfortable feeling throwing up left made her much more irritable than usual, her thoughts quickly turning angry. "Christina!" she screamed once again, before being forced to pause and continue throwing up.
Diana waited and waited, yet no answer came to her. While extremely angry, she stood up and went back to the living room where she woke up, however her blurry sight and movements caused her to stumble with a bottle and fall, her head hitting the floor and forcing her to sleep once again.
In her dreams, Diana saw a man she hadn't dreamt with before. He was almost always in her mind, forcing her to wonder wether her choice was right or not, yet not once had he appeared within her dreams. Looking at him, sitting in front of her, she couldn't help but feel anger rise within her. It's true that the man held his end of the deal, he granted her what she asked of him, but when she fulfilled her end of the bargain the man disappeared, leaving her with a child to raise all by herself.
She was tired, the life she wanted to have proved too much, the stress had already being consuming her for a long time and having to raise a child, especially one who couldn't sit quietly for more than a minute, was just too much for her. There were times when she wished she hadn't accepted the deal, perhaps she could have reached her current heights through her effort alone, if she had done that then maybe she could enjoy the day to day more than she did now.
She was aware that her parenting skills weren't the best, she had many flaws after all, but she was still a child, she hadn't even reached her twenties when she had a kid after all! If she had to be honest with herself, there were many times when she just hoped her daughter didn't exist...
By the time she woke up again, the sun was already setting, indicating she had slept through the whole day. Picking up her phone, she reviewed the missed calls and texts while heading to her room to change. As she had done nearly everyday for a while now, she was planning on heading out to a local club. Her agent had left no new messages so there was no need to worry about work.
As she was heading out she started grabbing some pills she had left on the table fo the dinning room when she found a note, which she grabbed and tried to read. The hand writing was pretty bad, though not as bad as the actual spelling. None of the words made proper sense, it would take a while to figure out what was written in it as well as actual focus, right now she had none of those. Releasing the letter and letting it fall back to the table, Diana headed out.
Pausing on the exit, she ate one of the pills before a sudden thought passed through her mind, she was having trouble remembering the last time her daughter asked her for something. Shrugging her shoulders, she left the apartment, if Christina wanted something she could come and ask her, otherwise she would just stay with Jasmine, she was also feeling annoyed at the fact that Christina didn't come when she called her this morning so she chose to just head out and forget. Who knows, maybe that letter was supposed to be an apology for ignoring the woman that not only birthed her but also paid for everything else she had.
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