20Opiniões
4.75
- Qualidade de Escrita
- Estabilidade das atualizações
- Desenvolvimento de Histórias
- Design de Personagens
- Antecedentes do mundo
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It's honestly sad to see such a good novel which such little appreciation while there are other novels with terrible grammer and spelling gaining an unimaginable amount of attention. It's not an overstatement when I say this novel has one of the best narrations I've ever seem. Furthermore, I have to admit I love the world building which is constructed so well. I honestly hope that more people come across this hidden gem.
I'd like to acknowledge the author's bold and beautiful writing style, it made it really easy to understand the main character's inner monologues and connect certain dots mentioned later. The character design is another thing I'd like to mention, it's well grafted with the flaws and insecurities of regular people. The story itself is a gem as it stepped away from environments that we were too familiar with like royal family, CEO/office romance, school and one night stand/running off while pregnant/baby. It was nice reading and still falling in love with the characters in a completely different setting. I appreciate new tropes very much and I hope more WN authors try it too. keep it up, author
Well, first of all, I'm glad I stepped by! Your story is very intriguing, and since it's so well written, it's even better! I liked a lot your description of places, people, and even actions. I must congratulate your work, because I think you've put a lot of effort with the world building and the character creation! Seriously, great job!
The story is good and the plot is also good, also a great book Complete at this creativity.. A wonderful book worth reading ...............
Love your synopsis, in fact I love about everything about the book.... The grammar and everything is just perfect, no error seem in the chapters I have read so fat
The writing is absolutely flawless. I enjoyed this book and I have no qualms with it. It's almost too good to be on Webnovel. Good job author
I really like the beginning of the chapter, it's like the author self was a part of the character who told the story to the readers and what caught my attention the most is the name 'Bermuda Triangle'. I'm curious to see how's the plot going to take me so might as well adding this book in my collection
I'm excessively amazed by the creativity of the author. Dehni has literally illustrated new terms for various. Why did I say illustration? Because the way they were described gave me a whole visual inside my brain. Velori's story also has blend of mystery, adventure and even sadness. You can have a taste of everything at once. Just only thing I was confused in the beginning was the relationship between characters. And the description could be a little lesser about the venue should work. But that's just my advice as I was reading more about the venue and decoration than the characters it felt sometimes.😅😅 Overall, a really great book I came accross. Keep up the great work and recommended to everyone!!
Starting off with what I liked, I did enjoy the concept of the Originators being somewhat sentient elements that requires their approval to use their power. That was pretty neat. Though I thought it would be used in a more offensive sense. Anyhow, onward with the review. Writing Quality: For most of the novel, the quality was smooth and crisp. But the repeated words really knocked it down. Which sucks because this section would've gotten 5 stars if it wasn't for that. Allow me to showcase some examples. -Her glare only deepened. -and the sudden wink brightened the glare... (Chapter 1) In one paragraph, smile, smiled, and smile again are used. And in the following paragraph, it's used again. In chapter three, a man is described as beautiful again shortly after the first time. "She wasn't my birth mother. My birth mother-" The second use of birth mother can easily be avoided. (Chapter 6) The phrase "her chest was pounding" is used again a few paragraphs later in chapter 7. -Her one-sided conversation with a frustrated huff of air. Why she was so frustrated with him (Chapter 7) Now this wasn't so bad, until the later chapters. Let's see her, I'll just pick a random chapter, ah 21 will do. The phrase "stormed off" gets used multiple times. Irritation is used three times. In chapter 23, fear gets used 4 times in one paragraph. Four...times. I think that alone showcases the problem with repeating phrases and words. And in the 3rd paragraph of that same chapter, sudden and anger are used again. Wanna know what else is used again? Fear. Now I could go on, but I think the point is clear. Besides using a thesaurus, describing the emotions can help cut down on the repetition. Stability of Updates: So for this category, I don't worry about when the chapters were released. I focus on the consistency of the chapters. And your chapters were very consistent. Good job :> Story Development: Alright, so the story laid pretty well. I enjoyed reading through it, though I'm going to lay out so issues I had or things I didn't generally like. Firstly, I'm not a big fan of suddenly dropping a dead family member in media, of anyone really. It makes me feel "oh that sucks" because it's just so sudden. Especially since this is the first chapter and I already know her dad is dead. And the way she's affected is told by words, rather than seeing how it affects her today. And the same thing is done with her mom, except at least there's a description of how it still affects her today in chapter three. It's like I feel "oh that's sad", rather than "oh that's sad!" That's just me though. I would love to the other elements have their time in the spotlight, Illusion was the one we say the most, and I would love to have their story expanded. The Originators are a pretty interesting concept, though they didn't make a huge impact until later in the story, like chapter 12. This is a bit odd as they are mentioned in the beginning of chapter one, and it takes a while before the reader can actually learn about them. So a bit of pacing issue there, but explaining a little bit through dialogue is completely fine. The same is done for the Realms, also mentioned in the beginning of the story. There's such little information on the Realms which hasn't became a relevant topic in the story at all. Now we already spoke about this, so I'll leave it at that. Lastly, seeing how important her Ben and Anne are to her, it'd be nice to see them again in the story. Especially since it's been some time since we've seen them. I'm leaning more towards Anne as I feel she has a much personal connection to her rather than a "lover" like Ben. Character Design: What can I say, characters are described well. Their descriptions are so vivid that I'd get canceled if I tried doing it with a female character. Although, their clothing isn't described in a similar quality, unless there is a lack of clothing like swimsuits. Which is pretty funny to me. Breasts, buttocks, and the like are described to detail but not clothing. No amount of butt flaps and or the jeans around Ben's butt could save ya, even though it is tempting. World Background: Environments are described very well, and so are objects. So detailed that it's easy to paint a picture of the scenery you're trying to set. Now if the character designs got this much attention to detail, you'd be golden. With that taken care of, I can definitely say this is a pretty good read, just fix up in the areas I suggested and let the readers view top tier smut. Intrigued to know how the story continues, and if Velori can gain the trust of all the Originators. Now then, tell Hale to get shirtless for me, don't ask.
Love the story line! The creativity of the world and charectors is also amazing. I love the comedy that appeared every now and then. The relationships between the charectors is so heartbreaking but so sweet. The only reason why the story is 4.6 is because of the update stability. I want more! lol. Definitely a very cute and interesting story. It started just a little slow with the first two or three chapters, but then it starts to pick up and boy it just keeps rolling, most of the time anyways. Keep up the great work! Looking forward to more chapters!
Great read so far. Really love the story development right now as it isn't too fast or too slow right of the bat. I also really like the themes in the romance development and will probably steal some for my own novel. Just a really good novel that you should try reading.
Great story with excellent writing. The plot is getting nicer and nicer as each chapter is unveiled and it has a sense of mystery in it. Truly loved it, author.
The start alone got me deep into the book. I totally Loved it ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👈❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️.. Please update more
Writing Quality stands out, descriptions are vivid. Reminds me of Lara Croft (just a thought) It gets more exciting as you read further. I can see potential in world building. Good luck. img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
First off I'm going to start with the pros. Out of all the book I've read on Webnovel, this has got to be the best written book in terms of writing quality. I absolutely had to give you 5 stars for that. Really excellent job. I really enjoyed the mystery element as well. I have to admit I haven't read all 24 chapters yet. I'm about half way in and find myself wanting to read more to get answer to some lingering questions you've expertly put into the reader's minds. I like the setting as well. A good blend between fantasy and the modern era. Nicely done there as well. Now for the cons. Personally, I didn't quite connect with the main character. As early as Chapter 2 I start to dislike some of her personality traits. Even though there are many redeeming features about her, I feel less invested in her POV when compared to Gairett's. Another thing I found jarring was that you frequently have a habit of ending a dialogue and then you start up a new dialogue but it's still the same person speaking. I've seen this multiple times and I still get confused even a dozen chapters in. I read the first dialogue line as the person speaking it and I expect the next line to be the other person but it's often the same person. I feel it would be better to fit it all under one pair of double quotes ("...") or at least seperate the first and second dialogue by the same person with a single line of text. Helps avoid confusion. Even though I really did enjoy the world building and overall setting, I found some of the descriptions to be a little too much. At several points I was left wanting more story progression rather than another paragraph long description of an area or building or an object. But again, this could just be a my personal preference. Overall I think this has great potential. I'm not too keen on the "werepython" angle but the rest of the story is amazing. Your writing style is amazing. Your vision for the story is amazing. So, 4 stars! Definitely recommended. Keep up the good work.
Okay to be honest I thought the title banishment gave too much away but boy was I wrong. What thrills me more is the way a whole new world is created. it gives us a little insight of what goes on in an author's mind. Nicely done! .
this story has an interesting start, the lead character is fun. I am interested to see how it develops. there is already an element of mystery connecting to her and the tomb that keeps the readers attention. one critique: the series of descriptions around the tomb was a little to much, very nice details but perhaps seperated by character reaction or interaction would have been easier to read.
Nice story and keeps the reader hooked up. What I found most admirable is the world background. Very well explained and easy to understand . Nice work Author👍👍😻
Excellent story! The novel has a lot of potential and while the chapters are a bit long, the author keeps the readers engaged the entire time. I absolutely love the poetic elements in the story, unlike many novels I've read, it didn't seem forced and it didn't overpopulate the story. Grammar and the flow of the story was absolutely perfect, literally nothing to complain about with this wonderful piece of work. 😌
It's honestly sad to see such a good novel which such little appreciation while there are other novels with terrible grammer and spelling gaining an unimaginable amount of attention. It's not an overstatement when I say this novel has one of the best narrations I've ever seem. Furthermore, I have to admit I love the world building which is constructed so well. I honestly hope that more people come across this hidden gem.
I'd like to acknowledge the author's bold and beautiful writing style, it made it really easy to understand the main character's inner monologues and connect certain dots mentioned later. The character design is another thing I'd like to mention, it's well grafted with the flaws and insecurities of regular people. The story itself is a gem as it stepped away from environments that we were too familiar with like royal family, CEO/office romance, school and one night stand/running off while pregnant/baby. It was nice reading and still falling in love with the characters in a completely different setting. I appreciate new tropes very much and I hope more WN authors try it too. keep it up, author
Well, first of all, I'm glad I stepped by! Your story is very intriguing, and since it's so well written, it's even better! I liked a lot your description of places, people, and even actions. I must congratulate your work, because I think you've put a lot of effort with the world building and the character creation! Seriously, great job!
The story is good and the plot is also good, also a great book Complete at this creativity.. A wonderful book worth reading ...............
Love your synopsis, in fact I love about everything about the book.... The grammar and everything is just perfect, no error seem in the chapters I have read so fat
The writing is absolutely flawless. I enjoyed this book and I have no qualms with it. It's almost too good to be on Webnovel. Good job author
I really like the beginning of the chapter, it's like the author self was a part of the character who told the story to the readers and what caught my attention the most is the name 'Bermuda Triangle'. I'm curious to see how's the plot going to take me so might as well adding this book in my collection
I'm excessively amazed by the creativity of the author. Dehni has literally illustrated new terms for various. Why did I say illustration? Because the way they were described gave me a whole visual inside my brain. Velori's story also has blend of mystery, adventure and even sadness. You can have a taste of everything at once. Just only thing I was confused in the beginning was the relationship between characters. And the description could be a little lesser about the venue should work. But that's just my advice as I was reading more about the venue and decoration than the characters it felt sometimes.😅😅 Overall, a really great book I came accross. Keep up the great work and recommended to everyone!!
Starting off with what I liked, I did enjoy the concept of the Originators being somewhat sentient elements that requires their approval to use their power. That was pretty neat. Though I thought it would be used in a more offensive sense. Anyhow, onward with the review. Writing Quality: For most of the novel, the quality was smooth and crisp. But the repeated words really knocked it down. Which sucks because this section would've gotten 5 stars if it wasn't for that. Allow me to showcase some examples. -Her glare only deepened. -and the sudden wink brightened the glare... (Chapter 1) In one paragraph, smile, smiled, and smile again are used. And in the following paragraph, it's used again. In chapter three, a man is described as beautiful again shortly after the first time. "She wasn't my birth mother. My birth mother-" The second use of birth mother can easily be avoided. (Chapter 6) The phrase "her chest was pounding" is used again a few paragraphs later in chapter 7. -Her one-sided conversation with a frustrated huff of air. Why she was so frustrated with him (Chapter 7) Now this wasn't so bad, until the later chapters. Let's see her, I'll just pick a random chapter, ah 21 will do. The phrase "stormed off" gets used multiple times. Irritation is used three times. In chapter 23, fear gets used 4 times in one paragraph. Four...times. I think that alone showcases the problem with repeating phrases and words. And in the 3rd paragraph of that same chapter, sudden and anger are used again. Wanna know what else is used again? Fear. Now I could go on, but I think the point is clear. Besides using a thesaurus, describing the emotions can help cut down on the repetition. Stability of Updates: So for this category, I don't worry about when the chapters were released. I focus on the consistency of the chapters. And your chapters were very consistent. Good job :> Story Development: Alright, so the story laid pretty well. I enjoyed reading through it, though I'm going to lay out so issues I had or things I didn't generally like. Firstly, I'm not a big fan of suddenly dropping a dead family member in media, of anyone really. It makes me feel "oh that sucks" because it's just so sudden. Especially since this is the first chapter and I already know her dad is dead. And the way she's affected is told by words, rather than seeing how it affects her today. And the same thing is done with her mom, except at least there's a description of how it still affects her today in chapter three. It's like I feel "oh that's sad", rather than "oh that's sad!" That's just me though. I would love to the other elements have their time in the spotlight, Illusion was the one we say the most, and I would love to have their story expanded. The Originators are a pretty interesting concept, though they didn't make a huge impact until later in the story, like chapter 12. This is a bit odd as they are mentioned in the beginning of chapter one, and it takes a while before the reader can actually learn about them. So a bit of pacing issue there, but explaining a little bit through dialogue is completely fine. The same is done for the Realms, also mentioned in the beginning of the story. There's such little information on the Realms which hasn't became a relevant topic in the story at all. Now we already spoke about this, so I'll leave it at that. Lastly, seeing how important her Ben and Anne are to her, it'd be nice to see them again in the story. Especially since it's been some time since we've seen them. I'm leaning more towards Anne as I feel she has a much personal connection to her rather than a "lover" like Ben. Character Design: What can I say, characters are described well. Their descriptions are so vivid that I'd get canceled if I tried doing it with a female character. Although, their clothing isn't described in a similar quality, unless there is a lack of clothing like swimsuits. Which is pretty funny to me. Breasts, buttocks, and the like are described to detail but not clothing. No amount of butt flaps and or the jeans around Ben's butt could save ya, even though it is tempting. World Background: Environments are described very well, and so are objects. So detailed that it's easy to paint a picture of the scenery you're trying to set. Now if the character designs got this much attention to detail, you'd be golden. With that taken care of, I can definitely say this is a pretty good read, just fix up in the areas I suggested and let the readers view top tier smut. Intrigued to know how the story continues, and if Velori can gain the trust of all the Originators. Now then, tell Hale to get shirtless for me, don't ask.
Love the story line! The creativity of the world and charectors is also amazing. I love the comedy that appeared every now and then. The relationships between the charectors is so heartbreaking but so sweet. The only reason why the story is 4.6 is because of the update stability. I want more! lol. Definitely a very cute and interesting story. It started just a little slow with the first two or three chapters, but then it starts to pick up and boy it just keeps rolling, most of the time anyways. Keep up the great work! Looking forward to more chapters!
Great read so far. Really love the story development right now as it isn't too fast or too slow right of the bat. I also really like the themes in the romance development and will probably steal some for my own novel. Just a really good novel that you should try reading.
Great story with excellent writing. The plot is getting nicer and nicer as each chapter is unveiled and it has a sense of mystery in it. Truly loved it, author.
The start alone got me deep into the book. I totally Loved it ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👈❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️.. Please update more
Writing Quality stands out, descriptions are vivid. Reminds me of Lara Croft (just a thought) It gets more exciting as you read further. I can see potential in world building. Good luck. img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
First off I'm going to start with the pros. Out of all the book I've read on Webnovel, this has got to be the best written book in terms of writing quality. I absolutely had to give you 5 stars for that. Really excellent job. I really enjoyed the mystery element as well. I have to admit I haven't read all 24 chapters yet. I'm about half way in and find myself wanting to read more to get answer to some lingering questions you've expertly put into the reader's minds. I like the setting as well. A good blend between fantasy and the modern era. Nicely done there as well. Now for the cons. Personally, I didn't quite connect with the main character. As early as Chapter 2 I start to dislike some of her personality traits. Even though there are many redeeming features about her, I feel less invested in her POV when compared to Gairett's. Another thing I found jarring was that you frequently have a habit of ending a dialogue and then you start up a new dialogue but it's still the same person speaking. I've seen this multiple times and I still get confused even a dozen chapters in. I read the first dialogue line as the person speaking it and I expect the next line to be the other person but it's often the same person. I feel it would be better to fit it all under one pair of double quotes ("...") or at least seperate the first and second dialogue by the same person with a single line of text. Helps avoid confusion. Even though I really did enjoy the world building and overall setting, I found some of the descriptions to be a little too much. At several points I was left wanting more story progression rather than another paragraph long description of an area or building or an object. But again, this could just be a my personal preference. Overall I think this has great potential. I'm not too keen on the "werepython" angle but the rest of the story is amazing. Your writing style is amazing. Your vision for the story is amazing. So, 4 stars! Definitely recommended. Keep up the good work.
Okay to be honest I thought the title banishment gave too much away but boy was I wrong. What thrills me more is the way a whole new world is created. it gives us a little insight of what goes on in an author's mind. Nicely done! .
this story has an interesting start, the lead character is fun. I am interested to see how it develops. there is already an element of mystery connecting to her and the tomb that keeps the readers attention. one critique: the series of descriptions around the tomb was a little to much, very nice details but perhaps seperated by character reaction or interaction would have been easier to read.
Nice story and keeps the reader hooked up. What I found most admirable is the world background. Very well explained and easy to understand . Nice work Author👍👍😻
Excellent story! The novel has a lot of potential and while the chapters are a bit long, the author keeps the readers engaged the entire time. I absolutely love the poetic elements in the story, unlike many novels I've read, it didn't seem forced and it didn't overpopulate the story. Grammar and the flow of the story was absolutely perfect, literally nothing to complain about with this wonderful piece of work. 😌