Capítulo 11: Chapter 11: Useless
[Disclaimer] If I don't express Marinette's emotions correctly, I apologise. I'm not experienced with pregnancy so I'm just trying to put it all together and imagine it based on the information I search up about the symptoms and stuff. I'm not asking you to forgive me, I'm just asking you to try and get where I'm trying to go at with how she's feeling and stuff.
Enjoy! :-)
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The cool touch of the water kissed her face and washed away the remnants of the dried up tears streaming down her cheeks. She sighed and looked up watching the girl in the mirror as she mimicked her movements.
Gods she was a mess.
Her hair was sticking out in random places and the water on her face made her look like she'd taken a dip in the pool.
She sniffed and picked up her towel drying her face and ran her fingers through her hair in an attempt to tame it before giving up. She took one last look in the mirror before taking a deep breath in and another out, pasting a smile on her face and leaving the room.
The walk to the kitchen dragged on as her thoughts took over.
She didn't really know how to feel. It was annoying being a victim. She didn't have time to look after her feelings. She'd never had to face such a tough challenge.
She was trying so very hard to be strong, but her facade was slipping.
Every so often, she would feel the touch of his hand on her thigh or the light hovering over her cheek where he'd always kissed her every morning.
The news had said nothing about his death. Either Gabriel had bribed them shut or..or they hadn't found his body. But wouldn't they then report him missing?
Perhaps it was the connection between the cat and the bug, but she couldn't help but worry. She had the cat now. So why could she still feel him? She was sure she'd hit him hard enough. Was she just being paranoid?
She growled.
She hated feeling so vulnerable. She hated having to rely on them. She'd been independent for so damn long! She still hadn't told her parents who Ladybug really was. She'd never get the chance to do that.
She stopped and slumped against the wall, the smile slowly fading away.
This amount of stress wasn't good for the baby.
But she couldn't help it.
Her head ached, thousands of thoughts swirling around and around.
So many tests to do.
Ultrasounds.
Screenings.
Blood.
So much to do.
So hungry.
Need coffee.
So tired!
She had no time to look after herself when there was a human growing inside of her.
She needed to get a midwife soon. Being 6 weeks into her pregnancy and having no idea what to do was fucking dangerous.
Her mental health was spiraling out of control and she was just so--so--ugh! So confused!
Everything was happening too fast. And despite everything she'd been through with him, she couldn't help but wonder how things could've been right now if those months hadn't happened. What if his mentality hadn't taken over his logic? Her mind led her to thoughts of her giggling as Adrien ushered her into bed and rushed off to the kitchen muttering something about protein to make her the chicken, lettuce and cheese baguette he'd promised her.
Her mouth broke into a frown and slowly but surely, she could feel the dread crawl up her back and burrow itself next to her neck.
She was terrified but she couldn't deny the fact that despite this, she still loved him. She still missed him.
So many emotions were barging into her head and she didn't know what to do with them. For the first time since she'd become Ladybug, she felt completely and utterly useless.
She reached for the doorknob but paused.
They were expecting her to be strong.
She had to live up to their expectations.
But she was only physically strong.
Screaming at her to be strong wasn't helping.
They're so useless.
The door flew open startling her out of her thoughts and her eyes went wide as a flour-covered, frowning Jason Todd came face to face - or face to chest considering how flipping short she was compared to them - with her sighing and muttering under his breath before he finally answered her expression with a "We had a bit of an..uh..accident..with the flour" and stepped aside to show the horrid sight of the whole room decorated with flour and an equally as horrid sight of Damian and Tim staring at each other, eyebrows furrowed as they held two now empty bags of flour.
Normally, she'd laugh this off and make a flour angel on the floor or turn this into a flour fight, but she wasn't in the right mood set for that. And so she walked to the fridge and grabbed the bag of cheese turnovers she'd forgotten to eat and a bottle of orange juice and walked up to Jason staring him dead in the eyes.
"You owe me five bags of flour. All purpose."
"But I wasn't even--"
"Five bags!"
It was when he sighed and nodded that she directed her attention to the men still stood with empty bags of flour in their hands now staring at her. She glared at Tim ignoring his smirk and her eyes flicked to Damian's holding his gaze before he broke it quickly and moved to clean up.
Her eye twitched and she turned around gripping her food tighter before leaving the room full of flour and stupidly immature older brothers.
She sighed thinking back to Damian. They were back to stage 1.
Why wasn't she allowed to complain? Why the hell did he get to order her around! He didn't know how it felt to be her! A punch to the face would've hurt less than what his dissatisfaction did to her. She hated feeling weak. And he was just making her feel weaker. Love was weakness.
So useless.
-&-
"Why haven't you found her yet?"
Natalie's eyes dropped to the ground. "We haven't been able to find any leads. No usage of credit cards, no public sightings, not a single trace."
Gabriel's eyes screwed shut. "It's been weeks Natalie! No one just disappears like that!"
With the amount of anger he was feeling at this point, he may as well just akumatize himself.
He grumbled and slammed his hand on the desk making her jump. "My son is dead and we still haven't found the person who killed him! Can't you just send a picture of her abroad!"
Natalie shook her head. "Sir, you know we can't tell anyone about this. It would bring up too many questions if they found out he was gone too."
Gabriel's mind led him back to the day news broke out about the Dupain-Chengs found dead in his son's house and his son missing from the scene along with Marinette.
"Sir, how do you know for sure that he's dead? He wasn't at the scene of the murder and even when I sent our men to go and clean out the evidence, nothing--"
"There was a knife with his blood on it and her fingerprints where all over the handle!" He huffed.
Natalie's head ached. There was too much evidence and too little information. Adrien had barely kept in contact since him and Marinette had moved in together. Nothing made sense and Gabriel was crumbling under the pressure; his wife was in a coma and his son was presumably dead.
It was when Gorilla came pounding on the door and she opened it to the sight of him huffing and announcing that they had a visitor that things started to swirl further out of control. He looked scared.
Gorilla was never scared.
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