I was never really afraid to go out, fear is not the right thing to do. I was ashamed of myself, of my body and shape.
I felt disgusted by myself, everything increased with the bullying, my weight and my shame. I could not stop.
I didn't stop, I could never do it seriously, I couldn't or didn't want to. It was an endless cycle ... but now the shame and disgust is gone.
Still, I feel very nervous.
I am already 3 years old and this is going to be the first time I have left here.
Last night, Nori told me that she would take me for a walk, since tomorrow I had to buy things for the orphanage food.
It is like that every Saturday, so, without giving myself a choice, I had to accept that reality.
I'm nervous, she must have noticed by now. I am in her arms.
"What's wrong, Daiki-kun?" She looked at me with a face of doubt and mockery, she is certainly young.
"Hehehehe are you .... scared?" Her tone was mocking, but she didn't bother me, I know she doesn't have bad intentions.
"E-eh n-no ... I'm not afraid, it's just that ..."
Certainly I am not afraid, as I said, I am not used to this, in my past life I lived as a parasite of my father ... he supported me in spite of everything.
Perhaps out of grief ... my mother died when I finished elementary school. I went into a great depression ... which caused me to get trampled on by others in high school.
They accused me of something I had not done ... I suffered beatings for that and stopped attending classes.
My father didn't tell me anything, he left me alone in an apartment. But, despite everything, I wanted it. Maybe he didn't do the best things, but I can't blame him for my problems.
I'm nervous, I just want this to end now.
"Oh well, don't worry, Nori-chan is here to take care of you, ahahahahahaha!" She gave a loud laugh.
Shit, she's so good. I clung to her tighter.
And we went out ...
For the first time I can see the orphanage from the outside.
Agh, shit.
I'm shaking...
Why ... why am I so nervous about going out?
My breathing is getting more and more ragged ... almost like choking
Stop, Nori will find out.
I hugged Nori tighter, I need to calm down ... stop, please
"You cheated!"
"NO! You're lying, silly!"
C-children fighting ...?
"AAAAAHHHHHH, it's the witch Nori and she has a kidnapped baby!"
"We have to escape!"
Her faces turned white when she saw us, Nori has a bad reputation with children ...
"Hahahahaajsjsjsjsj!" I let out a big baby laugh, I haven't laughed this way in a long time.
This is what made me nervous ...? This is what worried me so much? You really are stupid, Daiki
My breathing was normal again, I stopped shaking and sweating.
"Fucking kids!" Her face, which a few moments ago was mocking me, had now turned red with anger.
"And you don't laugh, Daiki-kun" she looked at me with a downcast face.
I gave him a big smile in response.
...
Mount Hokage, based on Mount Rushmore, is more incredible than you thought. The view of it from above is relaxing. From here, he could see the entire Village.
The normal thing is that I see very big things, because of my small size, but from here they are the little ones.
In front of us was the hokage mansion, a large 2-story building with a terrace with orange walls and yellowish tiles. On the sides it had other smaller 1-story structures. This is the most important place in the village and it stands out a lot.
The normal houses have red roofs and they ended in a point, very oriental in style, I could see all this on the way here.
Nori brought me here to make my first outing to the outside world a memorable one. I was able to know many things.
Their architecture is disinterested in the aesthetic sense, they don't care, they have gas, water and electric pipes sticking out of the houses, dirt streets and things like that.
I guess it's normal, aesthetics don't matter much, as long as it serves to live.
That reminds me of my orphanage, it also looks like this, very neglected.
But despite that, Konoha has such a warm and familiar atmosphere, the streets are lively. Who would say that one of the strongest villages in this world has these good things.
I am happy, really happy.
"THANK YOU, NORIIIIIIIIIIII!"
I was standing and Nori by my side watching the village. The sunny, clear weather relaxed me and I screamed that in the language of my past life.
"Heh? What did you say about meeeee?!" She could understand her name, but not my gratitude, thanks to her I was able to overcome my nerves. I was able to understand that in this dark world there are also beautiful things.
"Nothing, Nori-san. I was just saying that I love you."
"Eh? You really are a weird baby, Daiki-kun" her calm face turned happy and she smiled at me.