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Ego Vs Love

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Capítulo 1: Chapter One

"get off the stage you can't tell us anything" hushed chatter becomes shouting as all their eyes are glued to their cellphone screens, giving me zero attention, i get irritated and as i am about to ask once again for their attention Martha quickly gets on the stage and pulls me with her to the direction of the ladies room and i follow without question i don't know what's going on but i think i have a hunch which I'm hoping is impossible right now. "Is it..?" I ask her and she nods apologetically, no no no! "Who posted?" I ask her again with a slight hope of being wrong "it's him" of course.

I'm sorry! We are not there yet, this is where it all begins...

We come into this world as innocents, fragile and full of life. We grow into a lot of different things and we come across alot of changes along the way and the full capacity of our lives depletes as we grow. We grow up full of hopes and dreams not knowing what life has in store for us. All our parents wish for us is to grow into responsible and hard working individuals. But life does not always turn out the way we expect, and at times it is not our parent's fault or even ours at that but just the outcome of life.

Some people are genetically engineered to fight through the hardships of life no matter what it takes, because of the strength they possess within them. And some not so much. But i believe that each and everyone of us is strong in their own way. We just have to dig deep within our souls and seek the strength that we were given because as long as we live, our tale is continously told and there's always light at the end of a dark tunnel.

I am not one to say much about life really but what i can say is i am strong and this is my story...

Today is Friday and i couldn't be more excited, i mean everybody loves Fridays mainly because it's a short day at school. I'm in grade 12 at Southview high school in Lenasia South and i am Head Girl and class prefect. I always wanted to be Head Girl and i know my mother has been grooming me to be one from a very young age. I remember the pride in her voice the day i delivered the good news. I also have been netball captain for four years running and we've never lost a single game.

It is the first term and i cannot wait to be done with school and go to Varsity next year, many people say I'll miss school but i doubt i will, my popularity, classmates and the great moments we shared yes but school i don't think so.

We are in the last period and it's physical sciences my second favourite subject, the first being English. The final bell rings and no one wastes time in packing up and heading for the door "wait kids!" Our teacher Mr Naidoo halts our hasty movements of hurrying into the weekend "as you know today we finished Mechanics so as from Monday we are starting with Organic Chemistry so go through it during the weekend so it won't be so foreign to you when i start the topic,you can go" he says in his thick indian accent and we're all out within seconds.

"We're going to Thabo's house he's having a small house party are you coming?" My best friend Vanessa asks me as we walk out of the classroom and i shake my head, "I'll pass" Thabo is Head Boy and her boyfriend of 5 months now and they are mad about each other. "Haze come on! We're all going you're the only one who's being a buzzkill!" she whines but i don't care we've been to two house parties this week and we are all behind with our assignments and two of them are due on Monday and on top of that we have to go through the new topic on science.

I have two other friends Megan and Catherine we are the school's most popular since our arrival in grade 8 and we are labelled as the mean girls of the school and by 'we' i mean Vanessa and Megan because they are outspoken and not exactly the friendliest, Cathy and i not so much but because we are all friends they paint us all with the same brush. All three of them are indian and I am the only african, that's because here in Lenasia South the majority of the population are indians and it is a nice quiet suburb i really love it here.

The other reason why I am not going to this party is that I'm single and they are all in relationships, I've been single for a month now which is the longest for me because i love being in a relationship, i love Love, I am just an incurable romantic and i despise the constant hook ups at house parties with different guys so I'll pass.

I keep walking and she runs after me and this time she brought back up, great, i turn around before they can say anything and raise my hand gesturing to them that whatever they're about to say i don't want to hear it but of course Megan is unfazed and she blurts out "we'll do all the assignments on Sunday i know that's what you're worried about" "no it's not" i half lie and see the three of them burst out laughing, they suddenly stop and i realise they are looking behind me.

I turn around and it is Jason from accounting class "ladies" he says smoothly and i mutter a simple hi but the trio drag a very high schooly high pitched 'hi' and i roll my eyes and turn my attention to Jason.

I think he likes me but then again who doesn't? I am the Head Girl, I'm popular at school and even on social media, not to brag but i have the body and the looks pretty brown skin girl. Jason has been greeting me every single day since we started class together and i say this because he won't look me squarely in the eyes and it is very unattractive for me because he is sort of shy and i find that boring in a guy, he is intimidated by me and it should be the other way around.

He is hot and he is a really nice guy but just not for me "what's up Jason?" I say with a smile "nothing much really" he says while brushing his short hair his eyes looking everywhere but at me, he is one of the few who really have the courage to talk to me, most guys think I am mean and just not friendly or scary just because i am popular "i just wanted to ask you if you'd be interested in joining our study group for math and accounting?"

"You know what Jason, Hazel will let you know what she decides on Monday right now we have a house party to attend" Vanessa chimes in and pulls me towards the school gate "i told you I'm not going there" i say as try to pull my arm out of her grasp.

"I can walk you home?" Jason half asks, last thing i want is having an awkward conversation with him right now and i can't exactly say no to him it would be very impolite of me.

"some other time, right now I think I'll just go to the party wanna come?" my mouth decides for me and all three of my friends squeal with joy "oh no I'll pass i have a business assignment due Monday and i don't really party" oh how cute and sort of geeky "okay then see you Monday" i wave and follow the trio and as I'm about to reach them i realise what I've done i have a lot of work and I'm going to a house party, I'll just smoke hubbly and not drink. I convince myself.

Thabo's house is a bit of a distance from the school yard and it's a really big double storey house with a big pool, he is popular for hosting the best pool parties. when we walk in he already has snacks on the table and tons of cups that he's filling with punch, "where's the pipe?" I ask him at the same time as Vanessa says "leave that they'll pour it themselves" and they start kissing and he leads her to his room while pointing where the hubbly is.

I look behind me and I'm left alone, Cathy and Meg are gone too, and everyone else is enjoying themselves outside at the pool, i would go outside and join them but i am an introvert believe it or not and it makes people think i am mean or better than them so instead i go to a small couch on the corner and find the hubbly, it is freshly lit. I immediately take my blazer off and set it aside, as Head Girl it's mandatory for me and the Head Boy to wear them all the time whether it is hot or cold and it is a nightmare if you ask me. As i take a sit i feel somebody's presence behind me.

"I lit that so if you wanna smoke get me a glass of the punch" the voice behind me says and i dread turning around, of course he would be here. When i turn around his attention is on the joint he is rolling. It's Caleb my ex, we broke up a month ago and he goes to L.S.S( Lenasia Secondary school) it's not far from our school we wear red, white and grey uniforms and they wear navy blue and sky blue and grey.

"I'm not here for you so please get out of my hair" why am i here again? i pull one pipe and drag and the next thing i know the pipe is ripped from my mouth "ouch! what the hell is wrong with you?" I question, i dated this guy for 8 months and i did not see how rude,arrogant and controlling he is until i broke up with him.

"Didn't you hear what i just said?" He says in what sounds to be a failed attempt in seduction. "And didn't you hear what i said" i fire back "then i guess there's no smoking for you, and let's face it you've got nothing to do and i know you won't go out there, I'm doing you a favour here" did i mention his arrogance? I huff and stand, go to the couch and grab my school bag and blazer and look for Cathy or Meg because i know Vanessa won't be in sight right now when i don't see them i head for the door and leave that control freak and this damn party.

When i arrive home i quickly make lunch and change into leggings and a crop top though I'd have to change into something 'more appropriate' before my mother gets home because she doesn't approve of leggings and crop tops or shorts or mini dresses and short skirts.

She says leggings are way too revealing and for my big butt and curves it's even worse so it's strictly forbidden so i only wear them inside the house or when i take pictures for my instagram and Facebook, but to avoid her disapproving looks i only wear them in her absence especially when she's at work, like now.

She's a pharmacist's assistant and i wish she had more time to spend with me, she practically works Monday to Monday because she either has a day off on a Saturday or Sunday only, and she's very strict so I'm not really complaining about her absence and she never smiles nor laugh, like ever. we are polar opposites because i smile alot, i think it's a trait i got from my father.

Though i don't even know him because he died when i was young and there aren't even pictures of him anywhere in the house and my mother never talks about him I've tried getting her to talk about him but she always snaps at me when i try, i get words like "am i not enough Hazel?" Or "I'm here and he's not so drop it" so i know better.

And what's even worse is that i don't even know my father's side of the family not even one of them, i keep telling myself that i look just like my father because of the colour of my skin im dark and my mother is light and it kills me not being able to ask her any questions about my father.

I take out my phone and play 'without me' by Halsey and put the phone on the table while i eat, I'm using my phone because we don't have a sound system or a television that's how strict my mother is and for me to get this phone was because Mr Naidoo told her that i had to get an app of previous question papers on my phone so i can practice and she bought it right in the middle of last year so if she knew i was on social media I would be dead.

As I'm listening to 'high hopes' by Panic! At the disco i hear the loud creak of the gate as it opens and i immediately know that it is the trio I am seriously going to give them a piece of my mind if they came to fetch me. A knock sounds at the door and I am completely puzzled, since when do they knock?

I head over to the door and open it to reveal a bloodshot eyed Caleb he immediately smiles and i wanna slam the door in his face. "What do you want?" I ask blocking his entrance. He tries to push his way through but i do not move, i push at him and can't help but feel giddy when i feel his abs because he is only wearing a black wife beater and grey school pants.

He pulls my arm and manages to pull me outside. I pull out of his grip and fold my arms over my chest. "What do you want Caleb? You need to leave my house, now" i say and he just smiles, it is that very smile that blinded me to all that he is and here he stands with his fresh haircut, his flawless caramel skin and a top revealing his biceps looking hot as hell, that i just wanna throw myself at him and let him hug me because i will not lie i miss him everyday but i want nothing to do with him.

He comes closer to me and unfolds my hands "i miss you so much baby and you look ravishing" he says, oh and did i mention his smooth tongue? "Well i don't and like i said you need to leave my house" i say as i move away from him, my heart beating faster and i no longer trust myself around him.

"Come on baby i know you miss me too, i mean your breathing has changed from just a small contact with me, just let me kiss you and I'll leave" he says as he comes closer and i silently scream and move back, it is hard not to want him back because i still love him you cannot just fall out of love with someone with just a click of a finger.

"Caleb if you come any closer I'm going to scream" i warn him "that's exactly what i want Haze i want to make you scream like i always did, i know you miss that" and that's it i stop fighting and pull him by the nape of his neck to me and kiss him.

It's a rushed kiss, he tastes like weed as always and his warm mouth is moving faster than i remember i really don't have control when it comes to this boy, he grabs my butt and i grab his and i remember the pic and quickly remove his hand on my behind and shove at his chest, "no, i told you to leave" i say so low that I am not even sure whether i mean it or not and he fakes being hurt "stop fighting me" he says "I'm not fighting you! Can't you see that i have no control of myself when it comes to you? I tried not to fight you but i can't, that picture just won't stop creeping up in my mind! All i see is your hand on her butt and hers on yours! So just do me a favour and leave! please."

Tears prick my eyes and i quickly blink them away "Im so sorry baby i was a fool but now i know better please give me a chance? Everybody deserves a second chance please?" "No Caleb even if i do give you a second chance it's never gonna be the same so please just leave" "but baby look-" he points down to his pants for me to see the bulge, i swallow and look away, "a little help? If you really are shutting me out then let's do this for the last time and i promise to not bother you ever again" he comes closer and starts kissing my neck and i melt "okay," my heart decides for me "but you need to keep your promise" he opens the door while kissing me and says "i-will- i-promise" he says in between kisses.

(Author's note:Whew! This is my first story here, I'm beyond grateful that you gave my story a chance, you really don't know how much that makes me happy. I'm super super excited you guys i hope you enjoy my story and please vote and comment to let me know you're reading and enjoying pretty please! Thanks in advance:* spread Love and Kindness)

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