Pokemon collides with the real world

LV 12

Jerry070

First and foremost author its just a constructive review to tell what i feel is lacking. So if you don't like it just delete it. English isn't my main language so, if I write something offensive just ignore it. Author i just want to say that this was a really good idea💡 for a pokemon novel, but its just isn't well represented. Some things i want to point out: 1. The story is really rushed, and by rushed I mean one day he had pokeballs and next day he sold them and the next day US accepted him selling it. Thats really optimistic situation and I am sure this is the point where most readers will stop reading it. I don't know about others but i want a fic. that has a logic behind mc's action and a logical reaction from peoples out of his actions. 2. This story is really isn't like a novel or fic. at all, its more like a long summary to a novel from mc's POV. No conversation thats sounds real or no real reactions from the other party. The world you created in this story is more like a world where every human is in mc's side and they have no complain about mc havings pokeballs or him knowing how it can be used, etc. They sound like a robot or npc from game with a fixed lines and roles, but have no realistic reactions. 3.In this we don't have satisfactory interaction between mc or his pokemon and we don't even know what chaos it caused for a normal person(You know others P.O.V.). You can even write intraction between mc's fans and how they were influenced(not many chapters as they become boring if there are many of them), how his parents reacted, how his government reacts and all. This story can become really good but it lack those things and some more idk as i am not that good at pointing out these things. Anyways its a really nice concept but it just need to be little more detailed and should feel realistic.

LV 4

Death_Knot

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LV 13

Kj5513

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