Capítulo 449: DC Craft [#2]
"-and that's mostly it."
Steve sighed, picking at the steak on his plate nervously. This was the first visitor he has ever had before, and although he has built a lot of things, he was still a bit nervous about the rather expansive and wide variety of styles and architectures all around the place! He took Jason from the Core of the base out to the Inner Ring, where they entered a restaurant building built based on a more rustic fantasy tavern aesthetic with floating lanterns on the inside to illuminate, stools that could spin around, thick and sturdy wooden tables of dark oak that could endure a punch or two, and real kegs of ale and mead to serve the populace of his base, which were the dumb villagers and other NPCs. Because they needed to eat, and food was free, so they lived their lives without having to do much besides trading with him whenever he wanted something.
On the other side of the table where the gun rested stood Jason, who absolutely devoured the steak, wheat based porridge, the tomato, cabbage, beetroot and carrot salad, the egg, mushroom, dandelions, chicken and pork soup, and the dessert that was a slice of the traditional minecraft cake alongside a bucket of chocolate milk. Literally a whole bucket.
So yeah, Jason was kinda hungry.
"Sho-" With a wet slurp and a gulp, Jason wiped his mouth with one of the offered cloths at the table. He looked back at Steve, who nervously looked back at him and lifted one eyebrow as he asked: "-You're telling me that you built all of this? And that we're somewhere secret and you're not gonna tell me because you don't want me to, somehow, compromise the location of your house. That you created. Alone. With God-like powers that allow you to create things?" Steve just stared into Jason's eyes before he nodded, making the other guy shrug: "Meh, this is great actually-" He stopped for a moment before he said: "-so, what happened to the Joker?" His eyes took a dangerous glint, making Steve gulp nervously for a moment, which Jason seemed to catch on easily. After all, when a 6'7 tall guy who looked like he could bench press Bane suddenly looks at you like he is afraid of his own shadow it is very obvious.
Well, Steve didn't exactly confess it, but Jason could easily tell that Steve had some sort of social problem- after all, no normal person spends 5 years alone working on their own hyper reinforced base where they can stay indefinitely. Steve clearly has severe anxiety and maybe agoraphobia.
"Oh, the clown? He's in one of my cells." Steve nervously pulled out of thin air a tablet, a plain white tablet. He pushed it through the table towards Jason who picked it up and turned it on to take a look- he frowned for a moment before the familiar sight of the Joker appeared. He was not bound to some sort of jail or cell like he expected, no, he was trapped in a completely black place. There didn't seem to be any light in the place, but the Joker just sat there in the darkness. Not moving but looking up in space with a bored look on his face: "He is in one of my obsidian bedrock cells enchanted by protection and unbreaking with mending, which is a bit trick to repair because blocks can't really get xp and it needs to be applied to the cell, but the cell itself has several little buttons to press in case I need to dispose of whoever is in it- Oh, you can press the buttons there, I have already placed a Soul Sand Anchor and I have filled him with about 10 Totem of Undying, so he can't really die."
"...he can't die?" Jason's previously lifeless eyes seemed to receive a glint of interest: "So, these totems, they work like a Lazarus pit? Throw in and he comes back?" Jason did not take his eyes off of the man on the cell- the point of view of the camera seemed to be high on the ceiling, showing the entirety of the cell with no blind spots. There were various buttons on the tablet's screen, with some having little names that were totally nerdy references. [I Didn't Ask How Big The Room Was] was a bright red button that when Jason touched it, made the entire room blast bright orange red with an explosion of power large enough that Jason watched the Joker's body explode into thousands of tiny pieces. "Holy shit." With wide eyes, Jason watched as the Joker's body had this sudden golden-green glow as this small totem of the same colors appeared right in front of him, pulling all his pieces together down to the last droplet of blood and forcefully joining it together in a living Joker. "This… This is impossibly awesome- you know what, I don't care what you are or who you are, you're my friend now."
"Uh-" Steve, who hasn't had a friend in who knows how long, froze. Before he could react, there was an arm touching his own as Jason pushed him for a moment as he showed him the tablet- there was no need to speak, just the question on Jason's eyes was enough: "-oh, the [Alien] button drops him into the void. The [Scott Lang] button is kinda crazy, I don't recommend the [Boneturner] if you're not good with gore, but I do recommend the [Alvin] one, because it's fun." Before you ask, yes, Steve has made a torture chamber where not even death can save you from- Is it overwhelming? Is it too much? Is it dreadful? Yes to all questions! But hey, Steve is not above torturing someone you hate, after all, he is still mostly human. "Then there are the slower gory ones, like [Giftbox], [Mold], and [Healing]... Unless you wanna cause pain for long periods of time, I don't recommend them- however, if you do wanna do that, I recommend you add some of the supplemental ones like [Bad Acid Trip], [Edgy Orange Hair Spray], and maybe [Reverse Gas] if you're feeling nasty and wanna make Joker the sanest person in reality."
"Wait, what- how does that one work?" Hearing he could make the Joker sane again was something that caught him off guard as he had been reading the minor description of what the buttons could do- huh, the [Bometurner] sounded pretty fucking painful! He also read through the [Edgy Orange Hair Spray] and learned it was a pain gas that would make one's nerves so wired on more energy and other stuff that your pain receptors are through the roof and your brain's natural blockages are removed. You feel your organs, you feel your stomach moving inside, your heart beating, the sensation of your stomach acid burning your body from within- And that pain? That agony? Is multiplied by who knows how much! There are also the [Hell Plant] button that would drop Gippy-Gippy leaves on the target, and that would be fucking overkill.
Steve is truly a creative guy.
Steve paused for a moment, considering his options- well, why wouldn't he explain this? He can take that memory from Jason later if he needs to! It keeps him safe and alone, which is what he wants anyway. "Well, it makes everything reversed- good people are bad, bad people are good, sane people are insane, and insane people sane, if he is the most insane person in the world he becomes-"
"The most sane person in the world."
"-yep!" Steve finished his steak and got up from his seat at the table a bit uncomfortable by how close Jason was to him: "Uhm, have fun torturing him? But, uh, remember this: He only has about… 5,184 lives today. Okay? Don't overdo it or I'll have to go there to the cell and put him back together, and then it'll be a pain in the ass to get his whole body right because I haven't studied human anatomy at all." Jason didn't even turn to look at him, he was testing the best combination of buttons to bring the largest amount of pain, having fun with it. Well, at least he's kinda cut- Okay, Steve, not finishing that thought. No horny! No, damn, horny!
"Sure, sure." Jason nodded, pressing a few buttons- there was only the sound of explosions and unfiltered glee as he giggled like a certain clown.
Well, it seems it does take one bad day to fuck somebody up, huh?
——
Steve carefully lifted a bright silver colored metal bar straight out of a furnace with his bare hands, his eyes covered by goggles that he used to carefully gaze upon the metal as he began writing in the Enchantment Table language right on top of the metal with a bright red hot thin metal wire. The silver colored metal didn't even resist the intrusion, melting upon contact and allowing Steve to simply write down the words [Unbreaking Three] upon the metal- he allowed the metal to harden again, watching it through the whole process! He placed the metal bar on this hydraulic press-like machine that was connected to various spinning tubes that were connected to spiraling cogs of various sizes all spread out across the entire room. The piece of silver metal was pressed down to a flat alloy barely 1 inch thick, and doing so the writing upon it was also spread out along the surface.
"Test number thirty seven, experimentation upon moon silver blood iron hybrid alloy. Enchantment seems to be holding on even after the flattening, prepared for further testing of the magical properties on steam powered technology, next upon solar powered, and then on plutonium nuclear powered technology." Steve spoke his thoughts out loud, the pen floating beside the big book by the table next to him began to write down everything he said down to the audible commas. Steve turned around from the Testing Chamber N°8 by the Outer Ring of his moon base, when he felt a little ping- he was connected to the entire base via magic and technology, nothing could escape his domain, so he knew that Jason was snooping around. He didn't exactly tell him not to do that, but it still made him a bit hurt that Jason was trying to find secrets about him- oh, it seems he found the snake pit.
And after the snake pit was on the Inner Ring, Steve watched as Jason went through a few regions of the Inner Ring, sightseeing instead of snooping. Or, well, doing both? He would go inside buildings and snoop around, searching for something- he still had the tablet on his hand, the Joker was spamming upon the ground as a bunch of gasps escaped his mouth as he was dying of overexposure to radioactive air that comes directly from the Radioactive Dimension, where Steve gets his plutonium and uranium as well as all his other radioactive stuff. "Oh, he found something." It was kinda fun watching somebody try to find something- is that why the Riddler does what he does? It was kinda fun, but Jason was pulling out a few ferns and berries (that he ate) to look at a few teleport pads that would take him around the base. "Huh, where does that one go again?" He doesn't remember.
Jason reached out for it and touched it, and he vanished.
A few moments later, Steve saw and felt where he appeared- right on the Outermost Ring, by the Magical Tree Farm where various pale blue, bright red, yellow, dark brown green, gray, pink, and even rainbow trees formed this garden, the farm having been disabled as Steve had no need for so much magical wood after using it to lay out a few places and use the ashes of each tree for magical experiments. He discovered that pale blue ash wood is very good for protective magical rituals while yellow ash wood is very good for divination magic rituals! He has an entire book on it somewhere in his personal library by the Core of his home. Without much of a thought, Steve teleported himself to the Magical Tree Farm to see what Jason was going to do.
"Uhm, what're you doing-"
*BANG!*
"-ow."
Probably not a great idea. Steve looked down at the bullet hole on his chest and frowned, his shirt now had a hole in it and he was bleeding. "Okay, sorry for spooking you?" Confused but also awkwardly not knowing what to say, Steve pushed his fingers inside the bullet wound and pulled it out without blinking or reacting. The hole easily patched itself closed without leaving a single scar behind- normally he needs a lot more damage to leave scars, and sometimes they don't even last! The Ender Dragon left him a nasty back scar of their flames, but after 4 years, the scars are almost completely gone. "Awn man… My shirt has blood on it." Steve sighed and pulled off his shirt, he would have either wash it or make a new one if the blood doesn't come out of it. He did know he was absolutely ripped, but he did not expect the effects it would have on other people. His body has obviously been through a lot ever since he appeared in this world, the only few permanent scars he has are from fighting enormous and extra powerful bosses or just an experiment that went wrong.
So, imagine if you will, this 6'7 foot tall man who looked like a bodybuilder, had a stubble beard in a five o-clock shadow, piercing blue eyes and a handsome face comparable to Bruce Wayne simply taking off his shirt in front of you while he pouts like a child because his shirt has blood- his abs also have some fresh blood dripping and sliding down off of it into his dark pants and into the earthy ground. This man is none the wiser of how hot he looks because of how socially isolated he is, so he does not pick up on your silent ogling of his pretty hot body. If you imagined all of this, congratulations, you're seeing exactly what Jason Todd is seeing right in front of him.
"So, uhm, what're you doin' here…? This is a, uh, not exactly restricted area…" Steve was a bit on a loss on what to do. He normally would have felt paranoid about what Jason wanted if not for him having taken his meds and being fine for the next few hours without ridding himself with fear and doubt about everything and everyone: "So… Wanna see my zoo?"
"Sure?"
Jason's eyes widened when he saw the sheer diversity of animals.
—
"Is that a giant snake?"
"Oh, Titanoboa!"
—
"Is that a golden cow with flowers on its back?"
"Yeah! Betsy the Yellow. Isn't she cute?"
—
"Oh, cool, a duck… why does the sign say 'Doomsday'? Is it his name?"
"Uhhh… Nope. That's an eldritch elder god called ¥KNZ~£@A^@!75☆"☆"¤°◇♡¿?, he loves bread."
"...same."
—
"Huh, weird statue."
"Oh, that's a gargoyle!"
"It moves!?"
"Yep- they reproduce by literally making other gargoyles by hand, its fascinating to watch."
—
"Huh, didn't expect to see a dinosaur here, but I should've."
"That's the Indominous Rex! She's great and a trained killer. I aso got a T-rex, a Spino, and a bunch of other Dinos on my own Jurassic World."
"...i love dinosaurs."
—
"..."
"You want one?"
"How could you eat a dodo?"
"...cause they taste good with kalimar?"
—
"Holy shit- is that a Megalodon! A Kraken!?"
"And that one is one of the smallest ones I have… wait until you see the Kaiju enclosure in the Hollow Earth Dimension- Oops, shouldn't have said that."
"...you have a whole dimension?"
"...and a few others."
"Forget about being friends-"
Steve's heart froze. Did he do something bad?
"-we're best friends now."
Oh, thank Notch.
"So…" Jason turned to look at the T-rex enclosure once more: "You said something about riding a T-Rex?"
He definitely didn't.
But hey, Jason's his friend! That's good, right?
..right?
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