Capítulo 185: Regression and Regret
_________ POV Narration_________
"... I think we should wait a bit more." Nemuri spoke in an even tone.
She was visibly surprised to hear Beru actually making plans to propose to her, going ring shopping and all of that.
But she refused anyway, leaving Beru to feel rather confused and somewhat betrayed.
'Damn, that really stings...' He thought as his shoulders seemed to slump a bit.
"I mean, not that I don't want to, but currently I believe there are plenty more pressing issues at hand, like stopping the end of the world from happening."
Nemuri, although a bit harmful with her bluntness, was absolutely right.
Beru was well aware that things weren't quite looking up for them, and he knew that tough times were coming.
Fixing the Nomus was a great leap forward for Beru from a moral standpoint, he could now feel a bit more relaxed.
But that didn't mean their overall situation was improved by much. Rather, it was rapidly decreasing by the day.
Times that were bound to be stressful regardless of his boundless strength.
Still, he had hoped that an engagement would help solidify things a bit for his relationship with Nemuri.
He did tell her everything about himself already, he already knew all that there was to know about her.
Her rejection wasn't exactly what he had wanted to hear from her when he finally managed to steel himself enough for a real commitment.
"Well~ There's nothing an individual can do to stop the end of the world~ We as a group have already done more than anyone else~"
Beru's statement, although a bit arrogant-sounding, was absolutely true.
Beru, Yori and Don had already done a lot to help the world in this already developing crisis.
Nemuri was later added into the group, she wasn't an active member but she still helped wherever she could.
Beru did only include her in this because he wanted to be completely transparent with her. Which was why neither Yori nor Don grilled him too much for implicating someone else into their scheme to save humanity.
"Yes. There's not much else that you three can do anymore. It's already spiralling out of proportion. At this point, it's better to tell the world everything, to help prepare them for what's to come."
"That's actually exactly what me and Yori spoke about earlier~ At this point, keeping this a secret is more counterintuitive than anything~ We'll make things public soon~"
Nemuri gave Beru a bit of a sideways glance as she had an 'I told you so' look on her face.
She had been the one to try it in the beginning, although not fully committing to it.
"Yeah~ Yeah~ You were right~ We just hoped we'd be able to get things under control~ The first disaster should've been a wake-up call for us~"
"And yet you lied to yourselves, thinking that expanding your influence in Africa was going to be enough to fix everything"
Nemuri was really grilling Beru this time. Her judgemental gaze made Beru flinch a bit.
"Do you even know? How many lives could've been saved have you made things public from the beginning?" She was getting more and more riled up.
"Our calculations weren't perfect, it's impossible to get everything right in this type of situation~ The possible mayhem that could ensue from our reveal made us hold back..."
At this point, Beru felt like he was being interrogated more than anything.
"... You never really calculated it huh? How many lives your lies could cost?"
At this point, Beru even raised a non-existent eyebrow.
"..."
"Honestly, it would've been much better had you guys not interfered at all. I bet humanity would've found a way to overcome this."
Nemuri seemed to be unloading a lot of her pent-up frustration, all at once. All of it being directed towards Beru.
"Highly unlikely~ The only reason more developed countries are fine is that we managed to spread the cure th-"
Nemuri seemed to be trying to listen to Beru at first, but she didn't get far, she gritted her teeth and even scowled while interrupting Beru.
"Don't give me your bullshit calculations now! Millions have died! And more keep dying!"
Beru was silent for a bit.
'Maybe I should give her some time to cool off? She likely just found out about this whole mess...'
Beru's silence just seemed to make her even madder though.
"Oh, wait! I forgot... Why would you start caring about dying people all of a sudden? Not like they have anything to do with you right?!"
"... What exactly do you want from me?~" Beru finally spoke up, his eyes seemed to be devoid of any emotion.
Beru had always been great at hiding his feelings, only he knew how deeply Nemuri's rage-fueled rant had affected him.
"What I want? Maybe I want you to actually start acting like you care about all of these people!"
"... You think pretending would make things better?~ I mean, I do feel bad about them~ But I also know that things would be much wor-"
"Pretending?! What are you on about?! These are human lives! Maybe not part of your life, but there were families, children, all of them affected by this!"
Nemuri seemed to have no need for a recharge. Each sentence that Beru spoke only seemed to further infuriate her.
"I think I'll just go for now~ Give you a few days to cool off~" At this point, Beru really wanted to just get out of the house, to put the situation and conversation on a shelf and leave it there, or simply throw it away entirely.
"I guess it's hard for a criminal to give a shit huh?!"
That was the point where Nemuri simply stepped over the line.
Beru didn't care about what she insulted him with, he didn't take much of what she was saying to heart since he knew that she was simply mad at him.
Beru and Nemuri, much like any normal couple, had many fights in the past. Many of them where Beru got to witness that Nemuri was really easy to anger behind had seductive exterior.
He learned to not put much of the things she said while in that state to heart.
But this was the first time she had ever called him a 'criminal'. Beru had trusted her with his full history, and she just went and did that.
Beru didn't move at all, and she also instantly realized the implication of her words.
"S-sorr-" She was about to quickly start apologizing, but Beru immediately put his hand up. His palm was basically in front of her face.
"As I said, I'll give you a few days to cool off..." His voice was much colder this time. No playfulness or emotion present at all.
It had been hard for Nemuri to get Beru to be more open to her, she had earned his trust and he respected her.
But to have that trust trampled on in this manner was both insulting towards him and despicable on her part, rage or no rage.
And before Nemuri even managed to get another word out, Beru had already vanished from the room entirely.
Nemuri searched the house a bit, not managing to find a trace of Beru. She tried calling him, but there was simply no answer.
In the end, she proceeded to spend the rest of the night crying in regret, as she realised how majorly she had screwed up.
Beru did well to give her some time off, in a way this was also a punishment for her. He left her alone with only her regret to keep her company.
He decided not to think about his relationship anymore though. He simply resumed his duties, preparing himself for a meeting with Yori and Don... And a few others.
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