Today is very busy, I understand, it's almost Halloween anyway. I made it a goal not to say happy birthday to Sally, I do not know why it bothers me so much but he didn't even invite me to his party himself and I am feeling quite vengeful today. I got him a cute tiny teddy that he can hang on his car and made sure to customize it months ago after Kiara said that his birthday was on 28th of October, you know, so that I wouldn't forget but now I am rethinking giving it to him or seeing him at all. After a tiring shift, I head back home and count my change before opening my laptop to type a one page essay in French about a trip of a lifetime.
How should I start a French essay? Bonjour? Bon Matin? Okay, this is proving to be harder than I thought. I had been there for one and a half hours and I had not come up with a complete statement. Maybe I can sleep and do this tomorrow with Brandon. That does sound like a good idea. I lay my back on bed and close my eyes for a little while. No, I can do this. Brandon has done quite a great job in teaching me basic French and the topic of transportation cannot be that hard right? I mean, how many are there?
UN VOYAGE INOUBLIABLE
Un voyage n'a pas besoin d'être très anticipé, parfois il est inattendu, et vous n'êtes pas préparé.
Je parlerais d'un voyage dans le cœur de quelqu'un, mais les moyens publics ici ne sont pas applicables, alors allons-y avec le temps que j'ai voyagé….
A French essay is not easy, I can tell you that for sure. I am happy it's out of the way and I am nervous about today. I have not the slightest idea how I am going to pull this off, just hoping it will be a nice hang out. Berlin is funny and won't leave me hanging for his cool friends, I appreciate that about him.
"Damn, that dress was made for you." His expression is priceless; it makes me blush as he holds the door for me. Such a gentleman.
"Thank you." I mutter as I get into the co pilot's cabin. It's really nice when someone compliments you. You feel like you want to show off how good you look to everyone. I am a keep it to myself kind of person but sometimes I do feel like my curves are something to be proud of.
"So, Sally's party mmh, I do not mind being the guy you use to make another guy jealous as long as we get to hang out." He says, eyes fixed on the road. "What did he do this time?" he now looks my way and honestly I feel bad. It's like roles are reversed with me and Berlin. I am a total douche to him and it is not very nice.
"Nothing. I just do not feel like he is right for me you know, I feel like I really need to not talk about him? Let's just hang out today and forget about him okay?" I swallow hard honestly hoping he will not get to asking me any more questions about Sally. I am serious about staying away from him or at least I hope I am.
The party is huge. A huge sign in French, saying (HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALLY) is at the front of the backyard.
So many people, most unfamiliar faces. I spot Sally talking to some chicks dressed like hookers holding cups of liquor.
"I will get us some shots to start us off." Berlin sounds excited.
"Yea, that would be great." He does not wait around and I'm left all alone. I am trying to find Kiara in the crowd. I know Prudy won't be here until later, you know, mittens and all, but I should at least see Kiara around.
"Looking for me?" I hear a familiar voice so close to my ear it makes me shudder. "I am glad you made it. You look stuning." He has got some nerve.
"Mh, happy birthday. Berlin convinced me to come with him thankfully. I could have missed all the birthday boy flirting since he didn't invite me." His eyes narrow and his face falls.
"Berlin convinced you? Why do I find that hard to believe? I'm…"
"Look, here he comes." I cut him off. "The trip you promised the band, keep that." I wink at him and leave him standing, a grin forming on his face as I walk away.
"Hi Berlin." Kiara calls out. "I've been looking everywhere for you." She says talking to me this time.
"So have I." I answer but she brushes me off and continues.
"Bathroom. Now." She smiles at Berlin and he holds up his hands I surrender.
"She is all yours.'' He says and I roll my eyes at his choice of words.
"Sally wants you to be his birthday girl." This information at a party that I came to with another guy, way to go.
"Really. He suddenly wants to be seen in public with me?" I lean on the sink. "What's the catch? What's in it for you?" I smile and turn to face the mirror.
"Girl, you know I don't do shit for a pay right? Aren't you excited about this? Maybe he wants to make you two official." She starts to hold my ponytail attempting to put in in a burn.
"When did he say this? And you are telling me now, why?" she wears a confused face and lets go of my hair.
"After I told him you agreed to come?"She scans my face through the mirror. "You don't seem enthusiastic."
"I brought Berlin as my plus one." I say defeated and stare at the mirror. I want to punch myself on the face right now.
"Oh," She says and leans on the next sink.
"He didn't exactly invite me and I didn't want to look desperate. Also didn't think this would come up. I saw him earlier." She is still quiet. I'm sure she is looking for words to make me feel better about what I am doing but she is not getting there.
"I told him." I add. "You know, that I came with Berlin?"
"It's okay, enjoy the party girl. He has been a douche too long he had it coming." She tries to hide it but I can see her sympathetic look creep up.
"I can't ask Berlin to leave. Can you believe he thinks he is my go to guy when things do not work out with Sally? I can't believe him." I say in an attempt to keep us talking
"Well I mean," she looks up at me.
"No way. No freaking way." How can she think that too?
"Let's just enjoy the party shall we?" She pets my cheeks and leads the way out.
"There you are, I was beginning to think you actually bailed." Berlin smiles at me and I pick the drink from his arms and take it all down. I grin. I do not know what to answer to that, considering that I almost just bailed.
"Alriiiight. The party just began." He continues and I smile awkwardly at him.
"Wanna dance?" I don't wait for him to answer that or I would immediately regret my question. I instead pull him closer and move my hips slightly until we catch rhythm. The dance floor is lit up and for once I feel like I do not care about anything. I feel one with the music and Berlin muscles are helping me out with the experience.
"Mind if I cut?" Sally interrupts.
"Not a problem. You are the birthday boy after all." Berlin leaves Sally with me.
"At least let the nominated birthday girl have some fun. You are such a buzz killer." I try to concentrate on the music.
"You said no?" I stare into his eyes. They are disappointed it looks like he is feeling sorry for himself.
"I am here with Berlin, what do you expect." I ignore that urge to hug him and just brush him off.
"I am sure he will understand." He says pleading.
"Do you hear yourself right now?" My voice involuntarily starts to rise. "You are so entitled. You can't master up guts to invite me to your birthday then… You are pathetic!" I feel my adrenaline rush and I begin to stomp out.
"Abbigail!" Sally calls after me but I'd be damned to even look back at him. I can tell he is following me by the heavy breathing behind me. "Abbigail stop!" he holds my arm restricting my movement.
"What." I look back into his eyes. Alcohol sure does get one some guts.
"Can we just talk?" I search his eyes.
"Is everything alright?" Berlin approached us.
"Yes Goddamn it. The only thing that's wrong here is you!"
"Sally!" I cut him off before he says something we will all regret. He pulls me by my arm and I word a sorry to Berlin as Sally drags me away from the room. He pushes me hard against the wall and searches my eyes for a bit. I feel pressure start to build up in my lungs. Just looking at him gives me chills and I want to get away from him.
"Sally." I feel strength start to leave my knees. "You are dangerous." I say in what feels like a whisper.
His lips open slightly as if he wants to say something but he swallows instead and gets so close to me I almost cannot breathe. Then he distances himself and I feel like he has moved miles away from me.
"I am trying. I've never wanted to take things slow Abigail. I am avoiding getting close to you because I do not trust myself around you. I don't want to mess us up. I do not want to lose you." He searches my eyes once more and I swallow in an attempt to at least get words out.
"It's not possible to lose what you never had." I stay focused on his eyes. I want him. He makes me feel forsaken things. Things I cannot comprehend. Things that no one else ever has but, I cannot live like this. I turn in an attempt to walk away.
"I need you." He says so low I barely hear it but I do. I look back and he has hung his face. I am contemplating between walking away and hearing him out.
"I'm sorry." He says, defeated I almost hear his voice crack and he takes a step towards where I am rooted. He pets my cheek for a while and I lean in to his palm. I feel the world dissolve to fit into the palms of his hands. He does that to me.
"Stay." He whispers and places his forehead on mine. I can feel his jaw tense.
"This is probably the worst idea." I look up to try and understand what he is saying and our lips are so close together I can't think. I arch closer to him so that our lips touch and he does not hold back. He forces mine open and holds the back of my head to hold me in place. He didn't need to do that. I could do that all on my own. I had no intention of resisting after his lips touched mine. His tongue claims my mouth and I let him. No resistance from me, I wanted this more than I thought I did. His hands move to caress my neck and suddenly he grabs it. Not so hard as to cut my air supply but it holds me in place and I feel the adrenaline rush as he pushes me against the wall.
He does not get his lips off me. He bites my lower lip and he swallows my moan as my body arched further to feel him closer. I'm sure it's just impulse. His hands move to my waist and mine move carelessly to his hair and I tag it hard then deepen my lips into his. He moans hard into my mouth. That sound is heavenly and only makes the fire in my belly worse. Suddenly he stops to catch a breath and I feel a groan escape me. My lips are still as part as his trying to catch our breaths. His eyes are dilated. I do not know that look, but it makes me want to crash my lips into his once more but he holds me put. A confused expression takes me over. Was I that bad?
"If we go any further, I'm afraid I won't be able to stop Abigail." His words are clear but that was the point right? Not to stop?
"That's it?" I feel mad. Not sure why but I do.
"Let me take you out on a proper date. Now if you want, in that dress, you look so hot. I might end up getting rid of it." I blush at his words but..
"What about Berlin?" I ask my words soft, I'm not sure they came off properly.
"Alright, tomorrow?" His eyes search mine and I bite my lip.
"Your lip Abigail. Don't tempt me. He runs his thumb on it then pulls it down and closes in to give me a peck on my forehead. "Wanna get back to my party and make me more jealous?" he smiles and the mood lights up.
"Wait." He looks at me and i almost get lost in his eyes once again. Blushing at his gaze. I clear my throat. "Sorry." I say then get the teddy bear off my dress pockets. "Your car is quite blank." He looks at me in amusement then lets smiles from ear to ear.
"You are quite something Abigail." He plants a quick kiss on my cheeks and holds my hand to walk me out.