Capítulo 11: Chapter 3
Weighing the half-pounds of flour, excluding the scoop, and depositing them
dust-free into the thin paper sacks held a simple kind of adventure for me. I
developed an eye for measuring how full a silver-looking ladle of flour, mash,
meal, sugar or corn had to be to push the scale indicator over to eight ounces or
one pound. When I was absolutely accurate our appreciative customers used to
admire: "Sister Henderson sure got some smart grandchildrens." If I was off in
the Store's favor, the eagle-eyed women would say, "Put some more in that sack,
child. Don't you try to make your profit offa me."
Then I would quietly but persistently punish myself. For every bad judgment,
the fine was no silver-wrapped Kisses, the sweet chocolate drops that I loved
more than anything in the world, except Bailey. And maybe canned pineapples.
My obsession with pineapples nearly drove me mad. I dreamt of the days when I
would be grown and able to buy a whole carton for myself alone.
Although the syrupy golden rings sat in their exotic cans on our shelves year
round, we only tasted them during Christmas. Momma used the juice to make
almost-black fruit cakes. Then she lined heavy soot-encrusted iron skillets with
the pineapple rings for rich upside-down cakes. Bailey and I received one slice
each, and I carried mine around for hours, shredding off the fruit until nothing
was left except the perfume on my fingers. I'd like to think that my desire for
pineapples was so sacred that I wouldn't allow myself to steal a can (which was
possible) and eat it alone out in the garden, but I'm certain that I must have
weighed the possibility of the scent exposing me and didn't have the nerve to
attempt it.
Until I was thirteen and left Arkansas for good, the Store was my favorite
place to be. Alone and empty in the mornings, it looked like an unopened present
from a stranger. Opening the front doors was pulling the ribbon off the
unexpected gift. The light would come in softly (we faced north), easing itself
over the shelves of mackerel, salmon, tobacco, thread. It fell flat on the big vat
of lard and by noontime during the summer the grease had softened to a thick
soup. Whenever I walked into the Store in the afternoon, I sensed that it was
tired. I alone could hear the slow pulse of its job half done. But just before
bedtime, after numerous people had walked in and out, had argued over their
bills, or joked about their neighbors, or just dropped in "to give Sister Henderson
a 'Hi y'all,'" the promise of magic mornings returned to the Store and spread
itself over the family in washed life waves.
Momma opened boxes of crispy crackers and we sat around the meat block at
the rear of the Store. I sliced onions, and Bailey opened two or even three cans
of sardines and allowed their juice of oil and fishing boats to ooze down and
around the sides. That was supper. In the evening, when we were alone like that,
Uncle Willie didn't stutter or shake or give any indication that he had an
"affliction." It seemed that the peace of a day's ending was an assurance that the
covenant God made with children, Negroes and the crippled was still in effect.
Throwing scoops of corn to the chickens and mixing sour dry mash with leftover
food and oily dish water for the hogs were among our evening chores. Bailey
and I sloshed down twilight trails to the pig pens, and standing on the first fence
rungs we poured down the unappealing concoctions to our grateful hogs. They
mashed their tender pink snouts down into the slop, and rooted and grunted their
satisfaction. We always grunted a reply only half in jest. We were also grateful
that we had concluded the dirtiest of chores and had only gotten the evilsmelling swill on our shoes, stockings, feet and hands.
Late one day, as we were attending to the pigs, I heard a horse in the front
yard (it really should have been called a driveway, except that there was nothing
to drive into it), and ran to find out who had come riding up on a Thursday
evening when even Mr. Steward, the quiet, bitter man who owned a riding horse,
would be resting by his warm fire until the morning called him out to turn over
his field.
The used-to-be sheriff sat rakishly astraddle his horse. His nonchalance was
meant to convey his authority and power over even dumb animals. How much
more capable he would be with Negroes. It went without saying.
His twang jogged in the brittle air. From the side of the Store, Bailey and I
heard him say to Momma, "Annie, tell Willie he better lay low tonight. A crazy
nigger messed with a white lady today. Some of the boys'll be coming over here
later." Even after the slow drag of years, I remember the sense of fear which
filled my mouth with hot, dry air, and made my body light.
The "boys"? Those cement faces and eyes of hate that burned the clothes off
you if they happened to see you lounging on the main street downtown on
Saturday. Boys? It seemed that youth had never happened to them. Boys? No,
rather men who were covered with graves' dust and age without beauty or
learning. The ugliness and rottenness of old abominations.
If on Judgment Day I were summoned by St. Peter to give testimony to the
used-to-be sheriff's act of kindness, I would be unable to say anything in his
behalf. His confidence that my uncle and every other Black man who heard of
the Klan's coming ride would scurry under their houses to hide in chicken
droppings was too humiliating to hear. Without waiting for Momma's thanks, he
rode out of the yard, sure that things were as they should be and that he was a
gentle squire, saving those deserving serfs from the laws of the land, which he
condoned.
Immediately, while his horse's hoofs were still loudly thudding the ground,
Momma blew out the coal-oil lamps. She had a quiet, hard talk with Uncle
Willie and called Bailey and me into the Store.
We were told to take the potatoes and onions out of their bins and knock out
the dividing walls that kept them apart. Then with a tedious and fearful slowness
Uncle Willie gave me his rubber-tipped cane and bent down to get into the nowenlarged empty bin. It took forever before he lay down flat, and then we covered
him with potatoes and onions, layer upon layer, like a casserole. Grandmother
knelt praying in the darkened Store.
It was fortunate that the "boys" didn't ride into our yard that evening and
insist that Momma open the Store. They would have surely found Uncle Willie
and just as surely lynched him. He moaned the whole night through as if he had,
in fact, been guilty of some heinous crime. The heavy sounds pushed their way
up out of the blanket of vegetables and I pictured his mouth pulling down on the
right side and his saliva flowing into the eyes of new potatoes and waiting there
like dew drops for the warmth of morning.
Status de energia semanal
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