Capítulo 48: [XLVII] — Icarus’ Fall
It was already a late afternoon. I couldn't tell what time it was exactly, but the sun was going down towards the horizon. The rare occurrence of seeing the star nearest to Earth in its full. The beaming light coming from its might was flashing through the barrier, being dispersed in the air. The eerie pink aura hanging above the city was chilling down with every second. It was this time of the year when the temperature was quite low, despite the governors controlling it manually.
The door closing behind me with a sealing sound, I didn't hesitate to switch on my running mode, and flee from the rooftop of an unknown skyscraper.
I've done it.
I'm finally out from that looney place.
But…
…What now?
The light breeze smeared my locks of hair. The smell of air was always a smell of freedom. Pinching inside of my nose, this was the fragrance I knew well.
Yet, at the same time, it had something more vicious in it.
Making my nose tingle, I wanted to sneeze.
Tears gathering in my eyes, the sharp landscape of this earthly city torn my heart in a second.
What now.
What now, I was asking myself through tears. You didn't get out to nowhere. You're still walking in a loop, in the darkness. Taking off an eye band, just to feel that there is another one still covering your sight.
In this meaning, I would only get out of a smaller cage into a run for carnivores.
A heavy stone hanged upon my heart. It was weighing down my knees to the harsh concrete of the skyscraper rooftop. My shaking hands didn't have anything to grasp, nothing to support against. I could either stand and look or fall and sink into despair.
Where can I go… now?
If the old man really doesn't want to lose me, then I have only two options to be out of his reach. I must be in a run at all times, or a better option, retreat to a place where no one will find me. A place occupied by only the outcasts of the society.
And the only thing that comes to my mind right now is the bottom of the pit. The depth of the ocean, where only specialized by evolution creatures can survive.
The underground, that physically shouldn't exist, being monitored by the governors and officers. But somehow the bats got some of the parts in their control.
That's the rumor circling in the dark streets of the city. I've never got too deep into the relations with the standby bats, so no one ever told me the actual location of the entrances.
I thought about it in the past. Despite living every day with the common laws shoved up into my ass, or as I think so, not respecting them at all, I just couldn't be called a "bat" like that.
There are many things that separate me from them. It's not only my background, but also the choice.
Many of them couldn't choose to become like that. Being pushed by the merciless governors to the edges of their humanity, there are no other ways than to stray from the "righteous path" they all made us take. A road filled with painful obstacles, called life in this metropolis. To survive every day, have something to eat, a place to live, many can't afford it by legal means. While there are some in "favor" of the higher ups, without any moral reason behind it, the others are simply deceived by the promised equity. In order to maintain further life, fading down into the underground is better than the unknown prison in which they take those who dare to disobey.
There were those pushed outside of the boundaries by the cruel reality, with no other option to choose other than the unheard punishment. But there are also the other ones, who were already born in the society of bats. Their ancestors decided to abandon the puppet show on the surface of the earth.
And there's the 3rd category. The ones that consciously picked what to deal with. The ones that degraded into the dark by themselves, for more unknown purposes.
They were called the vampires, with their names circling in the whispers of the dark crowd. The ones that were once on the top, and flew down on their wings, straight into the void mud of the poor. For what? Only they know.
And me, I can't say I'm from the first group.
My home was always safe. My family was always there. I could sleep deeply, with no deeper worries struggling my head.
I thought that the life I had been living until now has been hard, outstanding, and brave. Ditching school, venturing into dangerous places and recording the wrongdoings of the officers...
This was all idyll.
Now it's the bottom of hell.
No home. No family. No… nothing.
I don't know what to do with myself anymore…
Should I just descend underground forever…? What about…
My goal to change the city. To help people open their eyes?
Is that even possible…?
Or is it just a deception I chose to follow in order not to lose myself…?
…
I glared in silence into the bottom of the streets below me. Standing on a high concrete building, I was hundreds of meters above the ground. The asphalt net of streets was like a maze I just got out of. The tears were falling from my eyes into the society down there.
From one into another. The nightmare truly never stops.
Feeling like a God, above all of those ants below me…
…I wanted to descend on the Earth. Fall down like Icarus from the book that my aunt read me. A desperate feeling of finally doing something I want for once.
Eager to taste the freedom, I felt like him at that moment.
So, I hanged my head above the edge, and dreamed.
I want to go home.
•••
My legs have brought me into this place by themselves. I didn't even have to order myself, or to think about this.
Even if this couldn't be called a den of mine anymore, even if strangers infiltrated it to its brims, throwing away every proof of me existing, my home was just like a magnet. Sucking me in, calling my name, I couldn't resist coming back to the place of my origin.
With an eerie hope that no one is there anymore, I found myself under the same metal door to the concrete block I had been living in for my whole life.
Like the hell is it gonna work. I bet they changed the code after the infiltration. Surely, the entire building was smoked out after they got to demolish my flat.
Barely anyone lived here. The neighbors I occasionally came across here were as mysterious as this sole complex of flats itself. Hidden so deep behind the concrete walls, who designed such a structure anyways?
But as I touched the lock to input the code, hoping it would just work, I noticed that the code device is shut down.
Huh?
Darkness was lurking from the small crevice between the metal and the doorway. Pulling the door by the knob, they opened by themselves.
So, they indeed… Emptied the building…
•••
The lights in the corners of the corridors didn't work, just like the last time.
Weird chill. Utter silence.
Or I just thought it was.
The big metal door were half opened. Behind them was the same hall that used to greet me when I returned in the past.
But the presence I felt, deep inside of it, wasn't just my imagination.
Are these… Footsteps?
Listening closely, I tried to ignore my loudly beating heart, drumming in my ears.
Step by step, I walked into my flat.
So, after all, there is still someone venturing in my dear home? After you took all of my belongings, you still dare to come here?!
For what?!
Looking for… me perhaps?!
The rage was growing in my blood. Gritting my teeth, I didn't bother to hide my presence anymore. If I've had just any weapon… Anything long or heavy, it would suffice.
Hanging from my coat, a long belt entangling it around my waist.
Good enough to choke someone.
Pulling it off fiercefully, the leather warmed up from the friction. Growing hot in my hands, I didn't wonder anymore. Pure disgust was circling in my body.
So as I saw an unknown person, wearing a hood, standing still in my room and glaring into an empty wall, it came to me automatically.
They punish for nothing, should I as well?
If they pushed me to such boundaries, where I can't even abide my own morals?
A few days ago, I would never think of killing someone, hurting anyone could only occur in self-defense.
But now, the anger was blinding my sight. I have nowhere to stay. I have no one to trust. You took it all.
Their eyes flashed before my face, as their head turned in a shock.
"This is my place." — The tight loop stiffened around their neck in an instant.
I threw the belt like a jumping rope, holding both of its ends with my hands. Pulling them harshly towards myself, I closed the space between me and the stranger infiltrating my room.
There was no resistance. It was either me being very strong, or the person not even trying to oppose me. But judging by the noises they made, and their hands desperately trying to ease the pain, while I was strengthening the grip, it was the first. The words muttered by this person were unrecognizable.
The unnatural force in my body, in which I subconsciously believed, but denied it at the same time. A skinny, malnourished person like me, a woman also. I never stood out in terms of physical strength.
The feeling of superiority was toxic. Once someone gets to know how is it being above another human, this sensation, like an addiction, calls to you every time. It's like a curse, tearing you off from your humanity, in order to ascend the hell hood. What was always told to win, the good, never won by force. But the force is stronger than words in some cases.
The person was getting weaker and weaker in seconds. So surprising, they managed to last this long…
But… Do I really want to kill them?
Is it the best way?
To be a monster, others forced you into?
…Who even are they?
…
The rage slowly left my arms. I focused.
This smell…
Of lavender.
…
I pulled the hood off the person's head. And when long, lilac hair flashed before my eyes...
He dropped to the floor before me, holding his neck in a tight embrace. Calling for fresh air, harsh noises were coming out of his grating throat. Like a worm, he was wriggling right and left, reaching for life I could just end if I had been chocking him any second longer.
Such a fragile existence. One that had saved me from many years of pain. My angel I awaited. His image was tainted by my greed of power.
It seemed that I've just attempted to kill my savior.
"Ic-to…" — Words couldn't leave my mouth. They were weighing down so heavily, like an iron ball on a chain.
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