Capítulo 38: Past

Was this a dream? It seemed like it was.

How old was she?

Looking at her younger self, Lumielle watched as her child-like form greeted the Emperor. Her bumbling greetings and chubby cheeks still looking bright. Her halcyon eyes desperately searching for his approval as the Emperor didn't even glance up from his work. "Father," the young child crooned. An icy sneer left the lips of the Emperor at the nickname.

"You shall refer to me as the Emperor." There was not a modicum of hesitation as he waved his hand, ushering Helio to take away the girl in front of him. Lumielle could now see that she was nothing more than a nuisance to him. All she did was pester him. Yet, she had been so desperate to hold.

That was right. Looking at the poor young girl with tears prickling her eyes, she watched as her small figure returned back to the confines of the Ruby Castle. Desperation sullied the waters—she had remembered the reason in which she had eaten the nuts that the maids had carelessly left for her. It was not out of sheer idiocy. Lumielle's young mind believed that her father would come to her when she woke up. Somehow, she wanted Eldrige to become a doting father. It was a useless dream.

Lumielle watched her younger self shakily grab the handful of nuts that had been placed with her tasteless meal. Hard bread, a tasteless soup, and nuts. Lumielle knew that it could be deadly but she didn't care. She still had hoped. Her younger self had been so deluded, but a sigh left her lips, then again, she had clung to her father even now. Perhaps, she wasn't so different than the self-sacrificial lamb that was purposely eating nuts for her father's attention.

It seemed both Lumielle's had expectations that would be shattered.

The suffocating feeling of her throat closing as she fell to the ground. Blurry eyes and tears streaming down her face with the slight desperation that maybe her father would come. To her, there was some fruitless melancholy for Lumielle knew that her father would not come. The only people that were by her side was her brother, Sylvia, Evangeline, and Heinz.

. . .

The grandiose hallways filled Lumielle with nostalgia as she looked around once more. Was she a spectator? It seemed that her dreams had manifested in what she feared most, her past life. This time, Lumielle was wearing a light pink dress. The same color that Cosette had worn. How humiliating for Lumielle to show up in the same color dress as the woman who had stolen her spot. Was it pity she felt as she watched her own movements? Lumielle wasn't quite sure.

Indeed, the Imperial Princess was elegant but unapproachable. Her face was set in stone as she stood alone, proudly standing as if she was waiting for her father to come. That was right. She had still believed that Eldrige would hold her hand and dance with her. That would all be broken in a couple of moments.

The doors opened as Lumielle could feel the frustration and humiliation that exuded from her prideful character. Seeing Eldrige hold the hand of a young girl around the same age as she was and delicately escort her down. It was what she wanted. Green with envy and anger, Lumielle's knuckles were taut, bone-white as she clutched her skirts with such ferocity. It was almost as though she would break. Her eyes showed betrayal, anger, and jealousy. Then again, she was a mere child, it should have been expected.

"My friend, Duke De Saude, passed away today. In honor of his passing, I have decided to grant his last wish and help raise Cosette De Saude."

She had just heard these words at her own debutante ball. "I hope you will treat her kindly," Eldrige spoke as Lumielle felt her fury rise. How could her father do this to her? How humiliating.

"The Emperor didn't escort his own daughter."

"Does he favor the Heir Apparent De Saude that much?"

"She's really pretty isn't she!"

"She reminds me of Eliard when she was younger."

"Does that mean she's the new Princess?"

"I wonder why he didn't escort the Imperial Princess. . ."

Storming off, she didn't even wait for the Emperor to excuse her. Her heels clattered against the ground, as she went into an abandoned hallway to sob. Young, Lumielle was still raw with emotions. Suffering and struggling from the constant abuse by Countess Fleur and Viria, she had become all the more emotionally tumultuous. It was no fault but her own and Lumielle knew it. Her anger manifested in different ways, later, she would simply leave burdensome emotions. Yet, as of right now, she watched as her younger self sobbed.

Her small arms cradling her body as if she wanted someone to embrace her. No one came. She was left alone until her voice was raw and her body exhausted. Her sadness and melancholy twisted into a vivid rage. That was right. High society would scorn her for treating Cosette with such crudeness. Composing herself, she watched as she wiped away the tears from her eyes. Turning on her heel, she entered back inside of the ball.

There was only a single target and that was Cosette, "You!" Lumielle had snarled out angrily, jerking Cosette out of the conversation she was having. Her grip was rough, as the young De Saude heir's eyes widened. Struggling against Lumielle, the Princess let go. Cosette tumbled to the ground. The scene causing eyes to be cast towards all of them.

"What are you doing?!" Lumielle asked; her golden eyes looking down at the female in anger. Bewildered, she felt as though she was in right. Even if she was, Lumielle knew better than to lash out like this something she had never known in the past. Her poor young self didn't even realize how much of a menace she was being.

Tears sprung in Cosette's eyes. Her oculars becoming like vast lakes as she sobbed into her hands, "I'm so sorry Princess. I-I just really wanted someone to escort me and my father said he would and then. . . then," she paused before her body became wracked with sobs. Lumielle looked disgusted, her nose furling up.

"So you decide to use my father as some type of proxy?!"

"No!" Cosette said, even while crying, she somehow looked beautiful. "I-I'm sorry Princess, I just wanted to be sisters with you."

That was the remark that had pissed her off. Lumielle walked towards Cosette, eyes burning with fury as she leaned down to grab her cheek. How dare she try and become her sibling? She had no idea about the suffering that they had endured and yet, she wished to spout out some nonsense about siblingship? Did she want to become their family? Had she been whipped by Countess Fleur? Neglected by maids? Almost frozen to death by the cold winters?

Did she even know what she was saying?

The answer was yes, she did. Lumielle could now see how deceptive Cosette was. She was good at manipulating people and back then, she didn't know. It was somewhat pleasurable to act upon her rage. It would have been great to do so right now. Striking Cosette across the cheek, Lumielle's hand stung. Had she done that? The purple-haired Princess didn't remember hitting her, but apparently, she had.

"I have only one sibling, Aristele and he's the Crown Prince. Don't ever say such useless words again."

Leaving as quickly as possible, Lumielle could see the number of people gathered around Cosette. They quickly were sympathetic towards her, asking if she was alright. Licking her wounds and practically bandaging her up, Lumielle found it pathetic that Cosette would simply act like such a burden. Yet, it was only the start. She should have known better.

. . .

"I heard you slapped Lady Cosette," Eldrige spoke gruffly. His eyes were piercing as Lumielle trembled. Her father's gaze felt piercing as if her soul was being lit on fire. That man had conquered nations and quelled wars. Yet, it stung even deeper as he was concerned for Cosette, "Didn't I make it obvious that we were to treat the De Saude family with kindness? Can you not even do that?!" His fist slammed against the table, shaking the room.

Lumielle yelped quickly getting on her knees, "I-I apologize father. I never meant to—"

"I am the Emperor of Endora, you shall refer to me as such, Princess. Don't say such insolent things." His words were snappish, boorish as if he was talking to someone with such little significance that it belittled him. She bowed her head, her body trembling at the thought of raising it.

"Don't be too mean," Cosette said entering the room. Her words were rosy, "I'm sure that Lumielle didn't mean to." Using her name so easily made the purple-haired female tighten her spine. God, she remembered this humiliating moment where Cosette walked inside of the Emperor's room without even introducing herself. She was wearing a beautiful golden dress that made her look like the rays of the sun. A ribbon tied in her hair artfully as Cosette placed down the tray that she had in her hands.

Eldrige sighed as he touched his forehead, his expression softening, "What are you doing here, Cosette? Didn't I tell you and your mother to wait?" He looked far more tired than he did hostile.

A laugh escaped her lips, "I wanted to thank you. Thank you for giving us the Emerald Palace. Mother was really worried about whether or not we would stay in the Duchy after the Duke died."

The Emerald Palace?

"F-Emperor, the Emerald Palace? What is the meaning of this?" Lumielle asked, her eyes widened in surprise. Aris and Lumielle were supposed to reside inside of the palace. It was meant for the Crown Prince and Princess, but due to the fact that her mother had wished to have renovations, they were moved to the Ruby Palace. Yet, her mother's death stunted the work and they never were moved back.

"Just as she said," Eldrige responded coldly, "Cosette and her mother are residing inside of the Emerald Palace."

Why? Why? Why?

Lumielle had never expected Aris to help her enact her revenge. In her first timeline, Cosette had taken over the Emerald Palace only legitimizing the fact that she was a Princess in the eyes of the people and the Emperor. Meanwhile, Aris and Lumielle rotted away inside of the toxic Ruby Palace.

"The two of you may leave," Eldrige said waving his hand as Lumielle curtsied as did Cosette.

"Lumielle, why don't you come over for tea some time?" Cosette asked, her words were bright. "I want to show you the gardens. They're absolutely beautiful."

Yes, they were beautiful. Lumielle had experienced first-hand how lovely they were. After all, she was living there right now.

"Why should I?" Lumielle spat out, her eyes narrowed. "Excuse me, I shall be going."

"W-Wait," Cosette stuttered out as the Princess left.

. . .

That was right. Cosette tried to befriend Lumielle constantly. The staff chided Lumielle for being frosty and heralded Cosette's determination. They found her to be endearing but Lumielle didn't understand why. She was becoming a nuisance. Constant invitations aside, Cosette finally showed up at the Ruby Palace with a smile on her face.

Rumors had already started to flourish about how cruel Lumielle was. Leaving Cosette to dry and continuously ignoring her messages, treating her as if she was inferior. Everyone was already shaking their heads at the rudeness at which Lumielle supported and it was only furthered by Cosette's invitation to high society. She spoke in underhanded tones, whispering about how all she wanted to do was befriend the Princess but she never was given the chance.

Tugging at the hearts of sympathy, many of the staff grew fond of Cosette and her child-like whims and pleasures.

"What are you doing here? Don't you know arriving unannounced is rude?" Lumielle asked setting down her teacup.

"I-I just wanted to give you these flowers," Cosette said, placing a bouquet down. They were from the Emerald gardens. Was this some type of mockery? Lumielle angrily glared at the bouquet as Evangeline quickly took it out of her sight. It was hilarious, Cosette was so blatantly rubbing in her face that she was living inside of the Emerald Palace and Lumielle was losing her patience. She was a fraud.

The silence was suffocating as Lumielle made no attempt to talk to Cosette. "I went to Lady Elise's tea party yesterday and apparently both Asterias and Allard are really popular amongst women, which one is more your preference?"

"I don't indulge in the frivolities of men," Lumielle spoke briskly.

"Really?" Cosette asked, a smile still on her face. "I think Allard would be best-suited for Lumielle. You know, everyone is saying, if you're loved by him, you'll be the happiest girl in the entire empire. Everyone wants to be his wife."

"Is that all you wished to say?" Lumielle asked as she stood up, "I must go." Turning on her heel, she could see Cosette frowning as she left. What a ruse. She saw the maids inside of her own castle try and comfort Cosette who was nodding along to what they said. Reaching inside of the carriage, she gave the maids some cookies and thanked them for her gratitude. That was right. Back then, Lumielle had simply scoffed at Cosette doing charity work. Now, she understood for what reason she acted like that.

PENSAMENTOS DOS CRIADORES
saemi

alright, so the next slew of chapters will be about the past and the first-time line. i apologize if it's confusing, it's basically lumielle's dream and her remembering events and pieces so if the narration and writing is difficult to understand, i apologize.

thank you again for the support xoxo

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