39Opiniões
4.85
- Qualidade de Escrita
- Estabilidade das atualizações
- Desenvolvimento de Histórias
- Design de Personagens
- Antecedentes do mundo
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mantap brotehr[©[©[¥¥=¥{¥¥{¥{¥=¥¢{¥}¥¢[¢℅¢¥{|¶|÷¥°¥¥=¥=¥℅🤔🤡🤔🤡🤔🤡🤔🤡😙🙂😙🙂😙🤔😙🙂😙🤗😉🤗🤥🤔🤥🤔😚🤔😙🤗😙😙🙂😙🤔😉🤗😉😍😉😙🙂😙🤔🤔🤡🤔🤡🤔🤡
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Hey there Author, keep up the good work. The novel is coming great and I know that you can make it even better. So dont lose hope and do your best! 💪💪
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This novel is based on Galactic football i mean if there are seven players and there is magic yeah it's like galactic football but with magic and classes . It would be better if the author perfects the dialouge system and i would love to read a story where the cities fight for resoutves through football Great work keep it up
good good good good goodff d d F f F d f f f Dddddddddddddfccccccccccccccce be ecececececcscecececececececececececece
the writing as in grammar or translating wise is not good at all, to the point where its hard to read. the story tho is pretty interesting. the characters are kinda of bad, maybe becuz of the bad translation, im not sure. the world is very interesting tho, soccer being a thing and all, rlly interesting. but yeah, better grammar/translating would make the story so much better, 4-5 stars atleast.
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Now you -> So besides, saying that your novel is great etc, I'll try to provide more insights. Sometimes there were narrative perspective changes from explanatory to commentary, I think it kinda breaks the 4th wall. I found "some" of your dialogues structures to be a bit weird. Perhaps you should try to make it more alive. (Specifically in the very beginning). Try to play with "Name of the character & He /she", sometimes you repeat the same name too many times in one paragraph. It is better if you add names and who said what at the end of the dialogues. Personally, loads of people complained about that when I wrote dialogues without names - back in the days. Apart from that, it is a good read. The dialogues/description ratio seems also good. Good job!
So many loopholes in the story and grammar is lacking, but it doesn't mean that it was a bad story. So far, I'm enjoying it and I had to be honest here, the first few chapters isn't attention grabber (That is my opinion, if you think the story has it let me know.) but as the story goes on, it gets good.
Nice. .............................................................................................................................................
mantap brotehr[©[©[¥¥=¥{¥¥{¥{¥=¥¢{¥}¥¢[¢℅¢¥{|¶|÷¥°¥¥=¥=¥℅🤔🤡🤔🤡🤔🤡🤔🤡😙🙂😙🙂😙🤔😙🙂😙🤗😉🤗🤥🤔🤥🤔😚🤔😙🤗😙😙🙂😙🤔😉🤗😉😍😉😙🙂😙🤔🤔🤡🤔🤡🤔🤡
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Hey there Author, keep up the good work. The novel is coming great and I know that you can make it even better. So dont lose hope and do your best! 💪💪
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This novel is based on Galactic football i mean if there are seven players and there is magic yeah it's like galactic football but with magic and classes . It would be better if the author perfects the dialouge system and i would love to read a story where the cities fight for resoutves through football Great work keep it up
good good good good goodff d d F f F d f f f Dddddddddddddfccccccccccccccce be ecececececcscecececececececececececece
the writing as in grammar or translating wise is not good at all, to the point where its hard to read. the story tho is pretty interesting. the characters are kinda of bad, maybe becuz of the bad translation, im not sure. the world is very interesting tho, soccer being a thing and all, rlly interesting. but yeah, better grammar/translating would make the story so much better, 4-5 stars atleast.
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Now you -> So besides, saying that your novel is great etc, I'll try to provide more insights. Sometimes there were narrative perspective changes from explanatory to commentary, I think it kinda breaks the 4th wall. I found "some" of your dialogues structures to be a bit weird. Perhaps you should try to make it more alive. (Specifically in the very beginning). Try to play with "Name of the character & He /she", sometimes you repeat the same name too many times in one paragraph. It is better if you add names and who said what at the end of the dialogues. Personally, loads of people complained about that when I wrote dialogues without names - back in the days. Apart from that, it is a good read. The dialogues/description ratio seems also good. Good job!
So many loopholes in the story and grammar is lacking, but it doesn't mean that it was a bad story. So far, I'm enjoying it and I had to be honest here, the first few chapters isn't attention grabber (That is my opinion, if you think the story has it let me know.) but as the story goes on, it gets good.
Nice. .............................................................................................................................................