Capítulo 17: Seventeen
"Have you guys heard? Leah Jones asked Eli out today."
Lucas’ hand froze in the air as he went to grab a french fry.
"Oh yeah! Everyone's talking about it. She's the first girl to ever confess to him." Miles said with a grin.
"A lot of people are talking about how much he’s changed. They say he smiles a lot more often now and doesn't have the resting bitch face on 24/7." Chris pointed out. Lucas’ fingers unconsciously tightened around his fork.
"No wonder those girls would jump at the chance." Sam nodded his head.
"Well... what did he say?" Lucas asked cautiously, trying to sound as casual and uninterested as possible. But deep inside he was dying to know.
"Oh, he rejected her." Miles answered with a shrug.
Lucas had to fight a smile from forming on his face.
"That's crazy, you know? Leah is pretty hot. A lot of guys would kill to get in her pants. Elijah Quinn really is something."
Just then, the blonde was walking to their table with his tray of food. Lucas tried not to stare too hard at him. It was his first time seeing him after the trip and just his presence within a ten-foot radius was making his heartbeat pick up. Elijah sat down on the only empty seat at the table- the one right next to Lucas. Everyone at the table was staring at the blonde and he raised his eyebrows at them.
"What?"
"Dude, you got asked out by Leah Jones. And you rejected her." Sam said like it was the most ridiculous thing ever.
Elijah sighed as he remembered what happened earlier that day. It was so painfully awkward. Leah was pretty, but he was just so surprised at that moment and said the first thing that came to his head. “I'm sorry... I'm not interested in getting into a relationship right now.” But what did Elijah know about relationships anyway? Absolutely nil, zip, nada. And he wasn't ready to try, especially not with a girl he had never even talked to before. Besides, he still wasn't even sure about his sexuality and he didn't want to lead her on.
"I'm guessing the whole school already knows." He said with a sigh.
"Yup, dude. Everyone's talking about it."
"Great."
"Yeah but why did you reject her?" Miles asked curiously. The first thing Elijah did was glance at Lucas, and their eyes met for a brief second, before they both quickly looked away.
Elijah simply shrugged, "I don't know." It was an easier thing for him to say rather than elaborating on his half-baked thoughts.
"Wow. You are just something else." Chris said, shaking his head. Elijah glanced at Lucas again and the latter was just staring down at his food blankly.
A few days passed and the two didn't talk at all. Lucas was so frustrated because things weren't getting any better, if anything they were getting worse. His eyes would always end up searching for Elijah in the halls, in the cafeteria and in dance class. He'd see him laughing with other people, and it would make his blood boil, because he wasn't the one that was making him laugh. He saw his friends getting a little too close to him and all he wanted to do was get in between them.
It took Lucas a while to realize that he was completely and utterly jealous. He was a jealous bitch and he honestly just wanted Elijah to be by his side all the time. It was killing him inside and he was so frustrated. He couldn't take the distance anymore.
"MOM!" He whined as he walked into her room, slumping down on her bed.
"What's wrong, Lucas?" She asked, rolling her eyes at her immature son. She swore no matter how old he was, he still acted like a child.
"How do you know you like someone?"
She quirked a perfectly-shaped brow, "Are you really asking me this right now?"
"Yes. Because I think I'm going crazy."
Ms. Kim sighed and sat down next to her son, "What's bothering you, you idiot?"
"Okay, you see, there's someone at school." Lucas decided he was just going to let it all out. He really needed the advice right now. "Whenever I see them, I feel like I always want to be by their side. I just want to hold them really tight and never let go. Whenever they smile, I feel these damn butterflies all over. Whenever I see other people get close to them and making them laugh, it ticks me off because I want to be the only one making them smile. I'm always looking for them in the crowd. When they're not around, I just feel so... empty. Does this mean I like this person?"
The woman widened her eyes at her son. She had never seen him quite so desperate and frustrated before. Soon, her eyes softened.
"Well, if I were to ignore your suspicious pronoun game, I will tell you this. You don't just like this person, Lucas," she said softly, lightly pinching his cheek. The boy looked hopeful for a second before she spoke again, "You're completely head over heels for them."
His eyes widened and filled with complete and utter dread at the fact that he already knew deep inside was true. He just needed to hear it. He looked up at his mother who had a kind smile on her face. She wasn't lying, and if there's one person he trusted in this world, it was her.
"Now tell me, who's the lucky girl?"
"That's the problem..." He whispered, heart beating so hard in his chest he could hear it in his ears, "It's not a girl."
Lucas didn't dare to look into his mother's eyes and he felt her stiffen beside him. He just lowkey came out to his mother. For a while, she just stayed silent.
"Mom don't just sit there. Say something..."
"Lucas, look at me," Her voice was neutral.
Gulping down the cotton balls that formed in his throat, he dared himself to look up at his mother. Surprisingly, he saw a soft smile on her face.
"We do not choose who we fall in love with, Lucas." She sighed, "Clearly this person is very important to you and what you feel for him is real. I'd be lying if I said I'm happy my son likes a guy. After all, what parent would be? But it isn't your fault... I'm just scared of how society will treat you. I personally wouldn't have a problem with it at all, but you and I both know that love between two men is considered wrong and unorthodox for a lot of people. You're gonna face a lot of challenges, and you will get hurt."
"So what do I do, mom? Because this feeling... it's too strong. I don't know if I can just ignore it any longer."
She sighed, "Whatever you choose to do, just know you have my full support. If you're ready to go against society and culture and embrace these feelings, then go for it. If this is what will make you happy, I will fully support you because all I want is your happiness. Clearly you're crazy about this boy and he makes you happy. "
"Yeah..." Lucas smiled, "He does. I mean, he annoys the hell out of me and we bicker a lot but… being with him just feels nice."
His mother smiled and wrapped her arms around him tightly, "I've always taught you that happiness is the one thing worth fighting for in this world. If your happiness is with him, then I will protect you from whatever the world has to say about it."
Lucas bit his lip and hugged his mother back, feeling so grateful to have her support. She really was the best mother he could have ever asked for. "Thank you, mom. You don't know how much it means to me to have your support."
"It's my job to support you no matter what," She said, patting his head lightly.
"You know what? I think... I think I'll just go confess to him."
She chuckled, "It's Elijah, isn't it?"
Lucas stiffened and the woman laughed, "I wasn't born yesterday, Lucas. Even a blind person could clearly see the chemistry between you two."
"It's crazy, mom. I swear I never felt this way about anyone ever before."
"If anything I'm glad it's him. Elijah's a good kid."
"I'm starting to think you like him more than me now." He said with a pout. The woman laughed.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Go to him right now."
Lucas gaped, "Now?"
"Yes, now."
"But I..." Lucas scratched his head nervously.
"No buts, Lucas," She cupped his cheek and looked at him seriously, "If you don't do it now, you'll end up changing your mind. Isn't it your own saying? Yolo."
"Oh God, mom. Please don't."
"Then go." She pushed him towards the direction of the door, "And don't come back until you've confessed."
"Mister Elijah?"
"Come in." Elijah put his book down on the bed next to him as a servant walked in, bowing politely.
"There's a young man asking for you. His name is Lucas Kim."
Elijah blinked a few times. So he's finally gonna talk, huh? He thought to himself but he couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter. Trying to fight a smile, he nodded slowly. "Okay. I'll be right down."
After dressing up in a black long-sleeved shirt, black jeans and a snapback, he walked down the stairs and to the front door and sure enough, Lucas was standing right there, hands shoved in his pockets, looking anxious. Elijah crossed his arms.
"Look who finally decided to stop avoiding me like the plague."
Lucas bit his lip as he looked up at the younger boy, feeling his heart pick up speed just a little bit when he heard his voice. "I... well, yeah." He sighed, "Can we talk?"
"I'm all ears." Elijah leaned against the doorframe.
"Not here... Come, let's go somewhere else."
Elijah couldn't help but notice how fidgety the elder looked. Was something wrong with him?
"Okay..."
Lucas ended up taking them to the same beach again, only now it was nighttime and there wasn't a soul around. The two silently walked on the sand for a while as Elijah waited for the elder to talk. Clearly the guy was taking his sweet time though.
"Lucas, what is it? I don't have all day." He finally broke the awkward silence.
"I..." Lucas sighed, "Look, I'm sorry I've been avoiding you. I just needed time to get my thoughts together."
"What thoughts?"
"I've been... well, confused lately. I've been feeling all sorts of weird shit and I just needed time to understand what the fuck was going on with me."
Elijah scrunched up his eyebrows, "What are you even talking about?"
"I... UGH! I don't know how I'm supposed to say this." Lucas ran a hand through his hair in frustration, pausing his footsteps. Elijah stopped and stood in front of the elder, who had his head down. It was the first time he saw Lucas all fidgety and anxious like that.
"Hey… Relax. You can talk to me," he said as gently as he could.
The brunette lifted his head up and looked straight into Elijah's eyes. He wasn't sure for how long but the two just stared at each other, as if trying to read each other's thoughts. They were both finding it hard to keep their gazes locked on the other but even harder to look away. After the longest time, Lucas stepped closer so they were less than an arm's length away. He exhaled slowly, placing a hand on Elijah's shoulder and pulling him a little closer to him before digging his forehead into his other shoulder.
Elijah's eyes widened and his heart started to beat a little faster at the sudden closeness. He had no idea what the actual fuck was going on right now but he couldn't find it in him to move or push him away either. Lucas breathed in the distinct smell of Elijah's cologne and moved even closer, slowly, cautiously, until their chests were almost touching. His other hand went to circle around the younger's waist and he sighed in content at the feeling of just holding him close. ‘Oh how much I wanted to do this.’ The heat that radiated off of Elijah's body was just so intoxicating and addictive and he wanted more of it. He felt like such an idiot, a jerk, for not having done this sooner. For denying his feelings and for trying to distract himself with someone else. He felt stupid and guilty. He knew at the very least, he owed Eli an explanation for his behavior.
No turning back now.
"I like you, Eli," He finally spoke, voice soft and barely audible.
Elijah stiffened in his arms and he just buried his face deeper into his shoulder, almost as if afraid to see his reaction.
"What?"
"Do I seriously have to repeat it?!" Lucas moved his face away from Elijah's shoulder to look into his eyes, "I fucking like you, Elijah Quinn! And not just as a friend."
Lucas hoped to God with all his being that it was too dark to see how red his face was right now. He wasn't even the shy type, but it was his first time confessing to another guy. So yeah, he was more than just a little nervous. Elijah kept looking into his eyes incredulously.
"Lucas, are you high?"
The brunette groaned. "For fuck's sake! No, I'm not high! I'm not drunk either, okay? Now stop making this harder for me than it already is!"
Elijah still looked like he couldn't believe it. Lucas rolled his eyes.
"Do you need me to fucking kiss you so that you believe me right now?"
"No! I-I believe you." Elijah said quickly, almost jumping out of Lucas’ hold for fear he actually did it. The other wouldn't let him go though. His eyes showed that he was serious, and more determined than ever.
"I'm serious, Elijah."
"Hey, give me some credit here. A few weeks ago you hated gays with a passion. And now here you are telling me you like me. Do you seriously not expect me to think you must be on some really fucked up drugs?"
"Then how do you think I feel? That's why I've been avoiding you! I thought I was going crazy. I thought it was just some stupid feeling, that it would wear off if I just kept some distance away from you. But fuck, it only got worse. I couldn't fucking take it anymore." Lucas looked absolutely spent, "I tried so hard to fight it... But the more I resisted, the more it persisted. I realized that yes, I fucking liked a guy, and I was so fucking scared."
Elijah had a frown on his face as he watched the elder vent out all his feelings. He honestly didn't know what to think right now. This was Lucas Kim. If being straight was an occupation, he'd be the fucking CEO.
"And I still am... But I don't wanna fight it anymore. I just want to let this take me wherever it takes me." Lucas’ voice took on a softer tone as his brown orbs burned deeply into Elijah's, making the latter almost shiver, "I don't know how this will end... but I want to give it a try. I want to give us a try. If you let me."
Elijah stayed silent. In that moment he simply couldn't process anything, he was just buffering in real life because nothing was making any damn sense.
"I... I don't know, Lucas... It's still a little hard for me to process all this."
"Then..." Lucas pulled the blonde boy into his chest, wrapping his arms around his waist. Elijah could feel Lucas’ breath tickle the side of his neck and the butterflies going rampant in his stomach, "Don't think. Just say you'll go out with me. Say yes."
This is crazy. This is just one big, fat, crazy dream.
All Elijah could think about was how good it felt to be in Lucas’ arms in that moment and his own arms slowly went to wrap around the elder on their own accord. Simply because it felt right. This boy that he used to dislike so much before, was holding him like his damn life depended on it.
He thought back to the time he saw Lucas with Julie and how it annoyed him to no ends when he saw them make out by the hill. That stinging feeling in his chest when he saw the two go into the woods that night. They way it hurt when the elder avoided him. He tried to ignore how he was feeling before, but now in Lucas’ embrace, Elijah was starting to realize that he had been jealous. That he too had started liking the elder somewhere along the way. Somehow.
Maybe this was why he actually rejected Leah. Maybe somewhere deep below where he couldn't see, he also had feelings for Lucas. He wasn't exactly sure when he had actually developed these feelings because he thought he still liked Noah, but now he could see it clearly.
"Okay."
"R-Really?" Lucas instantly brightened up and pulled away to look at Elijah. Their faces were so close and Lucas stared at him with a hopeful glint in his eyes and a bright smile. Elijah couldn't help but blush slightly at the close proximity and at how stupidly adorable Lucas looked right now.
"I mean..." He cleared his throat awkwardly, "It wouldn't hurt to try, I guess."
Lucas’ hands came up to cup Elijah's face, "You have no idea how happy you just made me." He rested their foreheads against each other, closing his eyes as he felt a content smile make its way onto his face. Right now, all Lucas wanted to do was wing it, to see how it went. No matter how it ended, at least he'll have tried, right? And who the hell knew? Maybe this could really grow into something big, something real.
"Well this is getting pretty awkward." Elijah pointed out after a while of just staring at each other, and Lucas laughed shyly, pulling away and scratching the back of his neck.
"Yeah..." Lucas stepped away from the blonde and the other let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding.
"It's nice here." Elijah stated, looking at the beach and listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, "Let's stay for a while."
"Hm, sure." Lucas extended his hand, intertwining it with Elijah's. His brows lifted up in amusement but a certain warmth filled his chest at the gesture.
"What? If we're gonna be a couple now, we gotta do couple shit." Lucas explained, pulling Elijah to walk with him along the shore. He even started swinging their hands back and forth.
"You're so weird." Elijah rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling.
Couple. It sounded so odd and foreign to him yet somehow still pleasant.
"Okay so do you gays follow the standard dating protocol or do you have like your own regime?"
"How the fuck would I know?"
"I don't know. It's my first time dating a guy."
"It's my first time dating, period."
"Well you've been gay for longer."
"Yeah, by like a few months. The only guy I ever liked was Noah. I didn't even know I was into guys until I met him."
Lucas frowned slightly, "Do you still like him, though?"
"Hm... I don't know." Elijah teased.
Lucas glared at him slightly, "Well, it doesn't matter because you're gonna start liking me now."
The blonde laughed, "Whatever you say, Lucas Kim."
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