Capítulo 7: Chapter 7
"Cass, what can I do to make it up to you?" he pleads. "Gusto mo Hong Kong? Singapore? Next week punta tayo!"
Nakikita niya na lamang ang sarili na nakakasabay sa nangyayari. Hindi niya alam pero normal na lumalabas sa bibig niya ang mga salita.
Because I don't want to lose her. Even in this dream.
She shakes her head and looks away. "Wag na, Heion. Ang tagal mo mag field, tapos pag-uwi mo, puro ka naman meeting. Ang mga Monthsary, puro nalang dinner sa airport. Hindi na nga kita nakikita, tapos itong Bora naman naudlot pa."
"Cass..."
"Ako palagi ang umiintindi. Ako palagi ang naghihintay. Nakakapagod na, Heion."
Parang may kung anong lumukob sa katauhan ni Heion. Takot. Takot sa patutunguhan nitong tagpo.
"Cass, what are you saying?" he feels a dark mass grow in the pit of his stomach.
Moments pass before she lets out a defeated sigh. Malungkot na tumingin sa kanya ang dalaga.
"Maybe four years are enough for us, Heion."
Parang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig si Heion sa narinig. No. Hindi pwede. Hindi ko kaya.
"No, Cass. Huwag mong sabihin yan."
Sinubukan niyang hawakan ang kamay nito pero mas nasaktan siya ng parang napaso si Cass sa hawak niya.
"All I ever needed was some of your time, but even that, I'll never really have." she looks straight ahead, avoiding his gaze. "Between me and your work, we all know who you really love."
Of course, it's you! Pero hindi niya ito maisatinig dahil sa mga narinig niyang sinabi ni Cass, pati sarili niya ay hindi maniniwala.
At a loss for words, he resorts to telling her what he always tells to his father. "You know I work this hard for us."
Nakita niya ang pagtulo ng mga luha sa mata ni Cass.
"That's assuming there's still an 'us' to work for," she muses quietly.
Paano pa nga bang magkakaroon ng future kung yung present palang ay hindi ko na maasikaso. Napapabayaan ko yung kasalukuyan para sa hinaharap. Hindi tama, Heion. Hindi.
"Heion, maybe... I've given you much of myself na rin. Maybe our friends are right. Maybe I need to do something for myself now. See the world -- the actual world -- and not make you my world, you know?" mahinang sabi ni Cassandra.
The lights begin to flicker again. The plane begins to shudder. His fear morphs into panic.
Light.
Dark.
Light.
Dark.
He does not open his eyes when the light comes back on. The pain in his heart already tells him she is gone.
Wala kang karapatan masaktan dahil ikaw ang may kasalanan.
Pero, masakit pa rin talaga.
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