Darrien.
I spiralled.
I didn't plan to overreact but, at that moment, with all the uncertainty, I lost control. I was supposed to be the calm one but Jabi ended up easing up all the madness.
Everything that is happening is driving me insane. One minute, everyone is telling me it is all okay. The next they are telling me he is in the transitional stage of being a vampire. I actually don't want Jabi to be a vampire. I never wanted him to be like me. Living forever is not the best thing in this life. it is not something I want for him. I want Jabi to live a happy life. it doesn't necessarily have to be eternal.
The moment I lost all control, Jabi reigned me back in even though he isn't still in his right frame of my mind. I feel shitty for being this weak, for being unable to handle it all. I didn't like what Blue was telling me. the fact that he doesn't even understand what is happening is pissing me off.