Capítulo 41: Chapter 38: You are so Near but so... Far
Joy opened her eyes as the rays of the sun directly went to her sensitive eyes and she felt warm breathing on her hands where Light's head was resting as he slept by her side. She looked around as the headache still lurked on her head- and discovered that she was at the hospital because of the apparatuses beside her. She cannot remember what happened yesterday and how she ended up sleeping in the hospital- and for a moment, she felt that everything that was happening right in front of her eyes wasn't the truth and the reflection she saw in her dream looked scary.... So hideous... So eerie... But if she saw a doctor in her dream, that means that it wasn't a dream at all because she's in a hospital--however, it was strange because the room she saw was different from where she was located. Everything she thought scared her but Light breathing on her hand as he slept seemed to ease her. She tried to touch Light and combed his hair against her palm...
"Thank God he is real... I can feel him.." Light felt her touch and he looked up to see Joy. His eyes changed-- it was so cold before, but now Joy can feel the warmth from his eyes and it spreads through her entirety...
It was like Joy was facing a whole different person, but deep down, she knows he is the same. Maybe something made him soft or he was worried because of what happened last night.
"Have you woken up?" He asked in a very sleepy manner. His hair was still messy because Joy played with them.
"Yes." she answered, still looking at him, like it has been years since she last saw him.
"What happened?" Joy asked.
"You collapsed... You were tired.."
"I saw you last night but why do I miss you so much that looking at you makes me sad and happy at the same time..." Light was startled but he hugged Joy in an instant as she was crying. "Light, I am so happy that you are around but why do I feel so sad?" Joy continued to question herself.
"I always feel like you are near but I know the truth- you are very far from me and I will never be able to reach you. Why do I feel like you'll soon leave me and I will search everywhere for you?" His hug tightened as Joy's tears made his shirt wet. He started to hum something so nostalgic- that seemed like something Joy have heard somewhere before, but she was uncertain where it was.
"What if everything is just a dream? What if you are just a dream?" Joy asked.
"You are overthinking it Hope. I promise I will never go away- and if I did, I'll make sure to come back. Believe me, okay?" Light said. "Let us help more people. Let us help them become alive. Can you be with me until the last mission we have? I promise you - after all of this is done, you will be happy. I'll make sure that you will be happy." he added and looked directly into her eyes, calming her spirit..
" I dreamt last night. I saw myself while the doctors surrounded me. I thought they were to hurt me but they kept on telling me to wake up." Joy told him. He held her hand and squeezed it as if he was afraid to let her go. Joy saw worry flash in his warm eyes that were so gold and haunting.
"At least you are okay now and you are by my side. That's what's important." he said.
'Light. What happened to you? Why are you like a whole different person? And even if I think you are different now it seems like I know you... I know this side of you..' Joy thought as she looked at Light, wondering about the change she saw.
It was as if he read her mind that he tried to explain. "When I saw you collapse last night, I was so worried about you that my heart was almost ripped out of my chest. I never knew I had the heart to feel... pain and worry for a human being. I never knew I could feel this way. These are all new to me."
It was surreal but Joy felt like this has happened before.
'Why is this scene so familiar to me? Why is this like a deja vu?'
____
After a few days, Joy was finally discharged from the hospital. By her side sat Light, as well as Cammy and Mari who held her favorite flowers. Mari can still not see Cammy, but he stood by her side- sensing that she is near the limit and will be bursting into tears sooner or later after seeing that Joy.
As soon as Mari saw her, she hopped to hug Joy- which knocked the both of them to the ground. Some time after that , Joy saw Light rushing by their side and Cammy checking if they're okay. She gave them a flash of smile which seemed to lighten up their worried auras.
"I thought something terrible had happened to you. I'm glad that you're fine now. Thanks to Light that you are still here- but.... Joy... Why... Why are you not taking care of yourself? Why are you doing this to yourself?" Mari complained.
Astound to the words she just heard, Joy stood up and tried to hug herself in desperation. She had noticed everything- she did not have appetite- she always felt alone and empty.
"Everything is fine now Mari. Don't worry. I'll take care of myself better." Joy tried to assure her but she seemed very troubled which was very evident in her dark brown eyes. It was as if she was afraid of me- Joy don't know why but she got that feeling.
"I just want you to be fine" she said in a very sad tone.
Joy was about to answer when she saw the necklaces light up. She noticed something eerie with the necklace she wore since it had a color darker than before. She opened it and saw 9:22 and the compass inside it showed East. Light and Joy looked at each other and Cammy stood by their side.
"Let's help the person..." He said.
"Of course we will" Light replied- his usual cold face is evident, but his eyes are so warm that just looking at them made Joy feel heat and a painful throbbing in her chest that she tried to conceal.
"What is going on?" Mari asked.
"Oh, nothing. But we have to go somewhere." Joy replied. Mari looked at her as if suspecting something but turned away after she realized something beyond Joy's comprehension.
"Just take care, okay?" She said and held Joy's hand and she walked away from them.
_______
It's way past 6 when the three arrived on a huge house in the town next to them- but Joy saw Light and Cammy as they whited upon seeing it so she wondered more about the person they to save because there was no image shown on the necklace. Light approached her and patted her head. A sense of security and assurance flowed from her head to her toes as if it calmed her. Joy looked at him with affection and love that she wanted him to have so badly, but she saw Cammy looking at his hands as if they are vanishing away.
But he was really vanishing away.
Light rushed to Cammy and tried to hold his hand with panic taking over him- making him quiver. Light tried to calm him but Cammy started crying as he started speaking to him. There was something that the boys were hiding from her- that is what she thought until she saw the owner of the house-
It was Ajan.
There she stood- in the veranda of her mansion- looking so pretty and dressed in a gorgeous manner- the fabric of the dress is pure white with black linings. Her long hair was cut short now- her face was pale maybe due to stress- and she lost weight- a huge amount of weight that she looks too skinny now.
'What have you done to yourself Ajan?' Cammy thought.
Joy looked back at Cammy and saw how he slowly faded away as soon as he saw Ajan- the girl responsible for his death- Joy know that what she thought was not the truth- but she kind of blame her. They were together for years and she should have given him a reason to live- but she did otherwise- and on the very last, he almost did not care about Cammy when he saw Light.
'Humans... Why are you like this? If this is how heartless the humans are, I don't want to be one. I don't want to be as terrible and heartless as them. Light. She is going to see Light again, and Light will see her too.' Joy tried to erase the intrusive thoughts from her mind and started to condition it for the mission. What they came here for is to save her, no matter who she is and what she did in the past.
"Please... Please Save her."
Cammy cried as he looked at them and his eyes were pleading and mourning.
"I don't want her to suffer... I don't want her to experience the same fate I had. Please... Save her.. Save her... That would be my final wish if I am to leave this world and vanish soon." he said while Light held him.
"I promise I will save her." Light said. "You have to leave here and let us do our work." he said. "You can't fade yet. You can't. You can't."
Following the direction of Light, Cammy closed his eyes and left the two in the mansion. Light became very serious now- his kind face was gone and did not care to look at Joy before entering the mansion and she was there, left alone, wondering what had happened.
Realizing that Light had left her, Joy ran as fast as he could to get to Ajan. Joy have decided to hide herself from Ajan so she can watch.
With the actions that Ajan made, Joy became instantly certain that she saw them outside of her mansion- she tucked her hair in her ears and became conscious of her look. Joy knew very well how special she sees Light- and the sad thing about it was that she can't blame her for that. Despite Light's cold stare and his act of ignoring her, Joy followed him as he walked on the stairs to go to the veranda where Ajan stood.
She looked astound as Light and Joy dashed on the door that led to the veranda. Joy looked around as soon as they got there- the scenery was so nice and trees looked like all brown as the light of the evening blended in their colors. The scent was a familiar lavender - the sky was orangish-brown and the sun setting was a beautiful scenery.
It was a beautiful sight to behold and to hold dear. The afterimage of that will remain in her thoughts.
Ajan saw the both of them but did not acknowledge Joy's presence- for she ran forward to hug Light which he frantically hated, but just then, she cried on his chest and tightened her hug, anticipating Light to hug her back.
The evening became very silent as Joy just stood there, completely powerless as she watched Ajan hug Light. She wanted to hurt her or pull Light away from her, but for some reason, she wasn't able to move a single muscle because of pain and hate. Joy was totally fazed by what she saw- Light suddenly hugged her back as pain and anguish stabbed her.
"Light..." Ajan murmured. "I'm happy that you are here."
Light just closed his eyes and let Ajan cry on his chest.
"Why? What's wrong?" he asked.
"I still can't believe that Cammy is gone and I can't help but blame myself for his death." She replied and sobbed more.
It was then that Light pulled from the hug which Ajan obviously didn't liked.
"Listen, what's done is done. You can't change anything that had happened in the past. I'm not going to tell you that everything will all go back to normal... Because things will never be normal again. " Light said.
She cried even more and collapsed on the floor, but instead of feeling sympathy, Joy felt anger building up inside her. 'Someone's life was wasted... Someone's life ended.
All because of one person...
All because of Ajan.'
" I can't believe he is gone.. And I can't believe that I am feeling this! I left him because I don't love him anymore but his memories haunts me. I always see his face whenever I close my eyes. I-. "
" If only your tears can give Cammy back his life." Joy, who was standing like a statue in front of the door of the veranda said.
'This girl, it's of no use of fighting her. I never liked her. And i hate her more for blaming me of Cammy's death!' Ajan thought. "I never wanted him to die!" she screamed so hard that her voice cracked and tears fell more. Light just looked at her then at Joy who's eyes were full of rage- and she might burst anytime into tears. Ajan squeezed her dress to let go of the frustration she felt. "I never wanted that to happen... He never told me about his disease.. If only he did.."
"If only he did? Will things be different? Will you stay by his side?" She cried.
"Of course I will stay by his side!" Ajan shouted at her. She was aware Joy was hurt hurt because he was her friend. 'But my pain is better and deeper!'
"You will stay by his side? Why? Because of pity or love?!" She shouted.
Ajan was completely taken aback as Joy shouted at her. She don't love Cammy anymore and if she stayed, it would be because of pity and she knows it and admits it on herself. But do this person really need to specify that for her?
"Light..please don't blame me for his death..." Ajan pleaded at Light.
"How irrational can you get?" Joy said, eyes burning with the anger even fiercer than before. She then took a deep breath and calmed down. "I'm so sorry Ajan, I let my feelings get ahead of myself. I shouldn't blame you for what happened to Cammy. It's just that I'm sad about his death..." she cried as she said those words, sincerity was evident..
Then Ajan saw Light look at her with love and sadness- his cold eyes became warm as he turned to her and held her hand. Ajan felt a pang in her chest which was so great that she cried even more, making him look at her again and come to her side.
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