Capítulo 5: I must keep moving or I will die
WIND CLAN – SOMEWHERE NEAR THE EAST BORDER - CHAO 149
Two years had passed. Lin had been accepted as a tales master and had begun her training. She stopped spending her days with Astrid, who felt much aggrieved but had not let herself show it. She was so full of admiration regarding Lini's growth!
She tried to keep herself busy to forget. When she had nothing to do, she would go and speak with various people. She was trying to understand the issues, challenges and difficulties of her family, tribe and clan. She wanted to be useful to her grandpa as soon as possible.
She had become closer to her cousin Sóren, who had replaced Lin on her side for the daily tasks.
She was ten now; she was a grown up. She still asked as many questions as before, but she tried to also be proactive in her attitude. She had also decided not to give nicknames to people any more! Well, at least in public. She wanted to be taken more seriously!
Astrid still remembered the Princess' words at that year's clan council. It was her first clan council and her first mission so she would not forget anything about it! How she was sitting next to her dad, how she was appointed relations master – like grandpa! - how he told her he was proud of her, … She even became his personal apprentice, along with her cousin Sóren, who had been appointed the same role.
The Princess had said: "The war has been over for seven years now. Seven years is a cycle, thus we enter a new era: an era of peace. It is time to rebuild our relations with the fire clan. It won't be easy; they treat us as evil, as their worst enemy, even given our almost nonexistent implication during the conflicts. However, we must admit the facts. Blows have been given and received by both sides: they burned our lands, killing a great number of our tribes, and we destroyed their economy, causing famines and death. In the Origins, already, our clans despised each other. We hate magic, as Aldir did, and Myr, their Fonder, was born of the essence of magic itself. All their members learn a bit of it no matter the class they study, in the same way we all learn trade.
Distrust still reigns along with bias. Our pacts are weak, and that must change. Master Hansen, you will be charged with the first diplomatic mission. I will leave everything to you, but I want an optimistic report at the next council."
It took a few months to handle all the details. It had been decided that this time, the wind clan would be the one to go to them. And she would be the one to accompany grandpa! Sóren would stay with their other teacher – his father, uncle Ösil. His mission was to talk with various tribes to convince them that true peace with the fire clan was the one and only solution, if they wished better lives for the wind people.
Astrid was so proud to be on her very first official mission. She felt more important, felt that she had her place. Being able to assist grandpa was a precious opportunity. She had always observed him from afar, in awe of his personality and work. He had a wisdom no one could compare to and was the most efficient of all for handling business deals and political conflicts.
They had arrived in front of the border. Astrid had seen it once or twice, but they mainly stayed in the middle of the lands. She was looking at this huge wall of wind magic with sparkling eyes.
Grandpa was giving her his last warnings and advice before they entered the grey zone: "In other clans, the first thing you do is introducing yourself. We only have to give our name, but they don't have any silver earrings indicating their rank, class and status, so you have to verbalize it for them."
He counted on his fingers as he continued listing.
"They are entirely devoted to Kmir, the one true God. Be careful not to speak about Him before you learn to do it. Remember that nothing is holy beside Him, it would be truly dangerous to say otherwise.
Magic has a very important place in their heart and life, as you know, so no disdainful comment about it. Well, you should not talk more than for what is requested by strict etiquette anyway. The less you talk, the less chances you get to offend them. Don't worry, in a decade or so, you will wrap everyone in this kingdom around your little finger, but for now, just listen and watch.
Finally, we're about to cross a grey zone, a zone without a clan. They are very dangerous, don't go running around and stay at the guards' side, okay?"
"I have a question, Grandfather."
Seeing the amused look he gave her, she corrected herself: "Okay, I admit, I have more than one, but I promise I'll try and stick to the essential. First, for the introducing, should I mention that I am still in training? Given my young appearance, wouldn't it be haughty to give my status? Second, should I present myself as your granddaughter or as your apprentice? Third, is the clan-less zone so dangerous that we need so many guards? Isn't there a safer way? I promise you I will be careful and won't disappoint you. You would tell me if there was anything, wouldn't you?"
She looked at him and lost herself in his eyes. He seemed peaceful, as always, but she felt something was off. Something like a tension pressing on her shoulders. Was she being a burden? Or was the problem something else? She knew she tended to get carried away when she was excited by some subject. She also was a bit too curious, but she had promised to behave herself, so why was he more alert than usual?
He was way too careful to choose a path that would be too dangerous. She began to stress out. She hadn't realized how sensitive their mission was until now. What he was worried about was not the path, but the fire clan!
She smiled at him and told him in a benevolent and self-assured tone: "Don't worry, everything will be okay. We will do our clan proud. You're the most talented of all and no one can resist your charms!" She winked at him and decided to shut up, so he could finally speak.
He stayed quiet for a while. When he answered her, it was with a calm and slow kind of speech. She remembered from his classes that the more freaked out and tensed you are, the slower you have to speak, so no one can tell the difference. You have to focus on being clear and composed, so you look serious and dignified at all times.
"When you introduce yourself, say this: "I am Astrid Hansen, granddaughter of Clan Representative Hansen. I am here to learn from him, as I hope to continue his work one day. Please take care of me." That is the easiest answer out of all your questions.
As for the grey zones… There are teleportation portals, that would allow us to avoid them, but not in our clan. Do you imagine, appointing soldiers to guard them all day long, forced to stay in place? We also don't like the magic waves emanating from them. So, yes, the grey zones are our only choice. All the criminals, all the people hunted by the Inquisition hide there, so of course it is dangerous. However, thieves and criminals are not what I fear in there.
Nothing regulates these zones, so if one enters, they are under their own care, because they could randomly be attacked by people for money or food. It happens on a daily basis, there is nothing special about it. Do you get that?"
She frowned. Not really, no. She was not stupid, but she didn't get how these zones worked. "But grandpa… why doesn't anyone do something for these zones? Isn't our Princess worried for us? Doesn't she care? I'm also surprised that the zones haven't been invaded by a belligerent clan. I mean, I know we stay outside of this, but while talking with Lin I understood that to many people, size really matters!"
Grandpa suddenly began coughing but was able to quickly become serious again. "Lin is right. However, the clans' lands have been given to us by Kmir – or whatever you wish to believe in, therefore the walls of magic. We can fight wars for many things, but not territory. Land that is not entirely surrounded by fire magic can't be called part of the fire clan, see?
Plus, the grey territories are important. They are a shelter for who has nowhere else to go. Our Princess does care, it is just that the clan stability is more important than our lives. However, she appointed all her personal guards to us, so she truly is doing her best for our safety.
You'll have to cross these zones quite often when you'll be older. They won't seem as scary, then, you'll get to know your way around. However… It's alright if you don't understand now, but please always remember what I told you, okay?"
"Promise!"
… A few hours later …
They now were in the grey zone. It was the first time Astrid could not see grass around her. There was no sun. The ground was covered with some sort of cracked, flat grey stone. There also was some thick and heavy fog. No, that was not right, even though it was Nebule, this was no fog. It seemed to be closer to smoke mixed with mist. Her eyes ached, it was hard to breathe in. Grandpa gave her a scarf and told her:
"It's smoke from all the bonfires from the last decades. We have the walls of magic absorbing the impurities of the air, but on this side, it doesn't work out so well. It's like they're trapped in a cave. Sometimes, a mage comes and deals with it out of pity, but most of the time they don't care, or don't dare. People who were born and grew up here are used to live with this little oxygen, but it's going to be harder for you. It's normal if your head spins. Breathe through the scarf, it'll make it easier."
She tugged her coat closer. She was shaking. It felt like it was way too hot and way too cold in there, but she could not fathom why.
She saw people, children, families, sitting on the ground around the fires. She could hear babies crying. Their appearance frightened her, she could only hardly tell they were actual humans. She could see different skin, hair colors, but everything was covered with some sort of filthy black powder. She could see no smile, could hear no laugh. She didn't even manage to see affection between the people in the different tribes. Only one word could be read on their faces: survival. And only one word came to her mind: hell.
Her grandfather saw her distress and patted her shoulder. "There are some cleaner, more organised, less sad, better to live in places, but they're even more dangerous to walk through. They're all black markets or mercenaries territories. Endure a bit."
She tried to ignore her surroundings, repeatedly telling herself: endure. Don't ask any questions. This is the easiest step, so don't make a fool out of yourself. Don't bring shame to the clan and the tribe.
Deep down, she only was filled with empathy and desire to help, but she knew that clan matters prevailed, so she hung on. She tried to be stoic, but when she crossed grandpa's gaze, she knew she had given it up. She was unable to pretend in front of him. She clutched her nails into her skin to wake herself up. She would not disappoint him. She could not.
"Grandfather, will we cross a more dangerous area?"
"Normally not. We will need three days to cross the zone, and then we will be safe and sound in the fire clan."
"Can we really be safe in the fire clan?"
"Yes, in the sense that if anything happens to us in their territory, they're screwed."
She widened her eyes. This was a side of grandpa she had never seen before."Grandfather, your language! What if mother heard you?" She could not believe he had said that. An idea came to her mind. "Oh I get it! It's a role you're playing, isn't it? You're training yourself to talk like the fire nobles! It's a great idea to make them go our way! You're a genius!"
He looked at her, his turn to open his eyes wide."Astrid! No, the fire noble don't speak like that, at the very least not in public. I admit, I shouldn't either, but it is not as important as your mother would like you to believe. You just have to be careful to speak the proper way in front of the proper people. Anyway". He took her hand and clenched it. "Let's walk, I want to spend the least amount of time possible here. If your eyes ache too much, just close them, I'll guide you."
She smiled when she felt his hand around hers. It was reassuring, knowing he was there. She nodded her head and followed quietly. He looked so impressive at this instant. She admired him so much. She thought to herself: one day, I will be just like him and he will be proud of me!
… Three days later …
She could not stand this place any more. Hopefully, in a few hours, it would be over.
Suddenly, she heard the guards yelling, and huge flames appeared everywhere behind her. She felt the heat on her face before she realized anything else.
She did not understand what was happening. She cried "Grandfather!". She tried to protect her face. Tears came to her eyes because of the smoke. She was blinded, her surroundings becoming blurry. However, she knew one thing for sure: she must keep moving or she would die!
She heard grandfather's voice: "I'm their priority, get her out of here!". She felt someone grabbing her, running. She looked over their shoulder. She saw grandpa falling on his knees. Then someone coming from behind. A sword raising really high. The same sword falling on grandpa's neck. A head rolling.
Then she couldn't see anything anymore. The yells were stuck in her throat. Grandpa! GRANDPA!! No… it couldn't be true… it was a nightmare, a nightmare…
She wanted to figure out what was happening exactly, but she was unable to. Her thoughts were blocked. Her never-ending curiosity and swarm of questions had stopped. A dead silence had imposed itself in her mind. The guard tried to tell her something, but she couldn't make a sense out of the words. She could not make a sense out of anything.
She cried but there was no sound coming out. Not even a sob. Her whole self broke. She didn't feel anything. She was just an empty little girl. At this instant she was not living, everything had stopped… along with grandpa…
She was only barely awake for the next days, weeks perhaps. The guard carried her, forcefully fed her, talked to her. Then, he gave her to somewhat familiar people. A woman came to her, took her tightly into her arms, stroked her head, whispered comforting words into her ear.
Astrid was still under shock. After closing and opening her eyes many times, she finally was able to say something."Grandpa… Where is grandpa? Haven't finished… the mission. Grandpa…"
She knew that the people had become agitated at these words, but she couldn't even say who the woman was. Her eyes were empty, she did not quite belong to this world. Where was grandpa?
"I know Astrid, honey, I know."
"Your grandfather is… gone."
"No you're lying! He's on a mission with me. He couldn't defect, he's the bravest man ever. Where is he?"
Her mother tried to soften her voice as much as possible, but nothing could soften the meaning of the words. "Astrid, he's gone, forever. He didn't get the choice. It's just… his time had come. It was time for him to leave this earth. He'll keep watching over you from where he stands."
She realized, at this very moment, that it wasn't a nightmare. That it was useless to keep lying to herself, denying the truth. Images came back to her mind. She began screaming out of despair, crying out of pain, out of suffering. Grandfather was dead. She fainted.
Her mother kept her in her arms, stroking her head. Her father came whispering into his wife's ear: "I know it's not a good time, but we can't keep it from her forever. If father…"
"Shut up."
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