Capítulo 45: Box.
I keep staring at the red box, till I just decide to open it. Tears run down my face just thinking that Zero put the last items he wanted me to have in here. What could they be? What was he feeling while doing this? Knowing it all, keeping it all in.
I open the box to reveal my wedding rings, that he gave me. The ones I was so happy to wear and proud of. I look at my hand and see I am wearing Joel's instead. I take them off and place Zero's back on. He is my true husband, the one I want over everything else. I keep looking in the box to find pictures of us over the ten years, that we spent together. Our wedding, the birth of our son, birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. I know I wasn't dreaming, it was all true. I even find our marriage certificate which I hold close to my heart as I cry out loud. Finding his wedding ring and I find the keys to our home, the deed and a package of a boatload of money.
At the bottom of the box is a letter from Zero. I don't know if I can handle to read this or not. I hurt so bad at the moment, inside and out. I decide to read it. He left it for a reason and I need to know what that is.
My dearest Alexa,
I know right now you are hurting and very confused. I am truly sorry for all the pain I am causing you. I can't help it or take it back, It seems that is just what our cruel fate was. I want to thank you for the ten wonderful years you gave to me. I loved being your husband and having our son. I adore both of you. Please do not think, I left you because of Yuki or any other reason. It's because I had no other choice. It's my time to go.
I know, I could have gone out with your still being my wife, giving you the burial I know your missing and the closure. I just thought this would be better to give you back the years you gave me. To let you relive them, and make them better with someone who can go to the end with you. I know our son, will be born. I also know he won't remember me. So he can't hurt for me. I gave you the other child that you wanted. They are both mine and yours. So you will have part of me with you always. The good part.
I also know how my brother feels about you, how he always felt about you. I know your feelings are messed up at the moment. Just I want you to know he is there for you and our children. He can be the father to them that you need. It's hard to give up my life with you and hand you to him or anyone for that matter. But if I have to, I rather it is him, where I know your safe and very loved. Where are children can have my name and live on. Ichiru will tell them about me. He is part of me, my other half. I know how much you love me, That you will feel as if you are betraying me. Please don't. I lived a good life, a happy life. One I would have never had if I never met you. I want you to do the same. If you choose Joel that is fine with me also. Whatever you choose I am happy with. I want you to live on and live the life you want. Happy and not looking over your shoulder. I am sorry for what I put you through with Yuki. That was never my intention, I guess some ties are just hard to be broken.
I love you, Alexa, more than you ever will really know. Thank you for giving me, my family. Thank you for everything. Just please move on. The keys to our home, that are in Ichiru's name. I gave you the deed if you still want it it's all yours. Ichiru will have the names changed to go back to you. The money is all the money I saved while I was working at the agency, I want you to have it to raise our children. So you have security. Some of my money is my parents, they had savings also, knowing they wanted to go back they gave it to you and their grandkids. It's a good heavy amount of money. One that you will not need for anything for the rest of your life. I know I won't be there to take care of you, so I did it this way, I also know that when you look at my brother you will see me, which may make you feel guilty. Please don't, think of it as a good thing. You have me but even in a better way. A way that no one can take away.
Love you always
Zero.
I take a deep breath as the tears stream down my face, a pain in my heartaches. I love you so much how can I move on? I understand everything that he has done now, I don't know if I agree with it all, but I understand it. I just don't know who or what I want. I know I want my old home, I want my old life. The one I lived for the last ten years.
Just how will I be able to live there without him? How can I let go of all the years we did spend together? Do you realize how hard you made this Zero? Taking away everything we had? Did you want your brother to win after all that was said and done? I still had so many questions.
PENSAMENTOS DOS CRIADORES 
Denise_M_
Denise_M_ Creation is hard, cheer me up!
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