Capítulo 32: Dark and Light

My husband and I both knew early on how high the stakes were for our relationship, but instead of liberating us, that knowledge made us nervous and polite. He held back; I obsessed, and I overdressed. It could have gone on like that forever, or ended in a stalemate, except that Alan persuaded me a few months in to join him at a bar to watch the opening match of the World Cup — a game that started at 3 in the morning. Something about waking up together at that hour of the night and walking down a desolate city boulevard made us feel, from the outset, that our every step was a little momentous. Then we entered a bar filled with charged-up Italians who welcomed us into their community. Almost immediately, we felt at home in another world, one with a different time zone, another language, a new set of passionate loyalties. Even though I was wearing glasses and jeans (a look that works a lot better for Tina Fey than it does for me), I could tell that Alan had never been more in love with me, because I was game enough to go along with him. He couldn't let go of my hand, and we practically ignored the match as we stared into each other's eyes, giddy with the sense that we'd crossed into a better, freer phase. Alan was inviting me into a life that would be filled with spontaneity and small thrills — and it was the night when we both knew there was no one else we'd rather take along on those adventures.