Capítulo 29: Tell Me What To Do
I plucked on each string, each one out of tune making Juleka cover her ears. She gets up and sits beside me asking, "what's wrong, Luka?" She began to rub my back making my head fall in shame. "You can tell me, I'll understand."
Lifting my head, I faced her with uncertainty and began with a shaky tone, "well...It's about Marinette." Holding my guitar closer to me, I remembered the last time I talked with her in the infirmary. I remembered her expression just before she left. I really hurt her that day, I'm ashamed to even be worried about our relationship reaching new heights right now when it's this low.
"It's fine, Luka. Take all the time you need." She touched my hand before getting up to leave, but I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"I still love her. I just don't know how to tell her properly." Juleka stopped at my words and turned back around to face me. I stammered out with my eyes getting foggy, "every time I try and tell her how I feel, it seems like I just make a fool of my feels and don't say the things I want to clearly! I can't carry around my music with me everywhere, I want to tell her with my words, but I don't know how..."
I trailed off not knowing how my sister would react. She's never been in this type of situation before, her and Rose are perfectly imperfect for each other.
Rubbing my eyes, I didn't dare look back up at her. My jealousy was getting the better of me but it subsided when my bed tilted to the side making me look up to see Juleka smiling back at me, "everyone has trouble sometimes but when you ask for help, it gets easier to overcome even the hardest tasks." She sat up straight and whispered softly, "now, tell me more about what happened."
I looked back at her ready to face my inevitable heart to heart with my only sister. I walked her through everything and when I say everything, I mean all of it. Her expression went from a supportive little sister to a shocked friend that looks like she was just told about how her parents were on the sinking Titanic.
Standing up, Juleka couldn't make eye-contact with me. There was something boiling up inside of her but she took a deep breath before crouching down in front of me and softly saying, "Luka, you can't be upset if Marinette doesn't like you the way you like her. I know you're not good at speaking to other people but that's no reason to get in a fight with Adrien!" She stood up and paced the room nervously muttering things about not knowing how to tell me things.
"Juleka, I don't understand what you're trying to say when you bite your nails like that."
She turned back to me with her eyebrows knitted, "I know you're not good at talking to others especially when it comes to your feelings but that doesn't mean you can start physical fights with people at school! Just because things aren't going your way, Luka, that doesn't mean you can take it out on the people that are getting closer to Marinette." She kept pacing with a worried expression, while I soaked in her words. "You especially can't be made with her. She can make her own friends and decisions."
Juleka is right. I shouldn't blame other people for befriending Mari. I have no ties to a stronger relationship with her other than friendship. But I told Adrien to keep his uptight cousin away from her!
Before I knew it, I was boiling with jealousy again, "I can't let Felix have her! I still love her Juleka, please help me! What do I do?" I grabbed her hand and pleaded until she gave in with a heavy sigh.
"Alright, give me a second." Juleka flipped out her phone and began tapping furiously on the screen. I tried to look over her shoulder but her pacing continued with each tap. After a while, she stopped and turned the screen around so that I could read it, "I just texted Marinette and asked her if she wants to go the park to talk."
I waited with anticipation as the ellipses bubble popped up showing that Mari was typing. Before she answered I questioned, "why don't you invite me too so I can talk to her myself?"
Juleka didn't say anything and just thought about it. Before she could say anything, a doorbell sound chimed from her phone showing a text from Marinette. She read aloud to my lovesick ass, "she says, 'sure! I just have to finish up a project then I can head over. Would 5 o'clock be too late for you?' I'll ask her now if it's okay that you join in." I hugged her as tightly as my arms would let me.
A sharp 'ding' cut through our sibling moment making me snatch the phone from Juleka's hand. She reached out to take it back but I held it over her head just enough so that she couldn't reach. Holding it steady I read aloud with high hopes, "actually I just remembered that I have to work at the bakery tonight. But you two have fun without me!" My arms dropped while her phone slipped from my fingers to hit the bed in front of me. "I can't believe it. She changed her mind when you merely mentioned me!"
Juleka came up to me and held my shoulder just to be shrugged off, "maybe she really did forget that she had to work, we can try again tomorrow." She tried to comfort me and convince me otherwise but I just pushed her away.
I really thought she would at least want to talk to me again. This is the worst, she can't treat me like this after everything we've been though! I don't want to be petty about all of this, I just want to apologize but she's not giving me a chance!
Without saying another word, I grab my jacket and run out of the room out onto the deck. I pull up my Snapnap and look at where Marinette is now. I ran all the way to the bakery and looked in through the glass to see if she was in there.
It's not weird if I go see her. Worse comes to worst I'll just say that I really wanted some macaroons. She wouldn't turn down a customer, would she?
Walking out from the kitchen into the bakery, Marinette wiped some flour onto her smock and sneezed. Pushing the front door open I softly said, "bless you." She jumped from the sudden customer and I'm only assuming she backed away when she saw it was me.
"L-Luka! What are you doing here?" She scurried behind the counter and wiped whatever flour remained from baking before away from her hands.
Reaching over the counter, I caressed her cheek taking the tiniest bit of flour away with me. I smiled at her but got an awkward grin back. Without thinking, I slammed my fist down on the counter in frustration, "why are you so distant? You know that I care about you. Please, just talk to me!" I moved towards where the counter opened up to the other side, "why are you avoiding me?"
"I-I'm not!" She backed away towards the other side, further from me.
I inched closer, "then why won't you come closer to me? We used to be so close but now you don't even want to meet up with me with other people."
"I just feel uncomfortable. I don't mean to hurt your feelings it's just..."
She turned away from me without saying anything else. Her cheeks no longer burned the way they did when she was embarrassed to say something. No, this time she looks upset, her cheeks a soft blue like she was about to cry.
"You can tell me anything, Marinette. I won't be upset, I promise." I went back behind the counter to make sure she felts comfortable enough to talk.
I hope this makes her feel better about me being here.
She silently yet swiftly crept back to where she stood before and whispered, "it's just that..." Looking down, I noticed she was picking off her pink nail polish as she struggled to say, "after what happened before, I just don't feel comfortable being around you."
"Before?"
"The uhm...The fight."
"Oh..." I didn't have much else to say. Judging by her expression, she was already uncomfortable bringing it up as is.
She twiddled her fingers and muttered something. I began to ask what she said when she repeated in a monotone voice, "I feel uneasy being around someone who would start a fight to solve a problem. Fighting over something so trivial isn't something I'd like to see any of my friends doing. It's just morally wrong." She backed away without another word or even glance in my direction.
So this is how it is. I make one little mistake and she just decides to discard me away like I was nothing? We had a special moment! I gave her time to think over her feelings but in reality, she was just dragging me along like I wasn't even real.
Turning on my heels, I whipped the glass door open and stomped down the street. My breath grew heavier and heavier as my vision blurred. My anger and confusion mixed together until I lost control of everything around me.
I felt numb until I heard a voice pierce my ear and echo throughout my mind, "Street Fighter, I am Hawkmoth. That foolish girl thinks the way you handle your business isn't good enough for her. I'm giving you the power to gather your gang to show her it's the only way to get your way in this city! All I ask for in return are Ladybug and Sir Noir's Miraculous."
"As long as Marinette understands that I'm doing this for her."
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