"Okay okay stop your whining! Taehyung will be back soon to take you home." Yoongi gave Yeontan's head a good natured scratch as the puppy sulked in his arms, missing his owner. "It's only been a little over a day and you already miss him. He's spoiled you rotten."
Yoongi sighed as his eyes glanced around the room, noting how it felt so..empty without Jimin. He had woken up to Jimin still curled up on his chest, lips mere inches away from his jaw. He remembered how his heart had skipped a beat upon waking up to such a sight, only to feel it ache once he saw the dried trails of tears on his cheeks.
"Jimin…" Yoongi murmured, letting his head fall back. The man had left not too long ago to return to the recreation room, where they'd first met. His mind wandered. He thought about what Jimin had shared with him in due to their growing bond and trust in each other, he wondered about what Jimin had tried to tell him but ended up breaking down completely. Finally, his mind settled on the Manila folder Namjoon had offered him that no doubt was the key to Jimin's pain.
His fingers twitched, feeling the urge to call Namjoon and ask for the folder well up deep within his chest. "Stupid, it's none of your business." Yoongi bit out, scolding himself not even a second after the thought crossed his mind. Jimin had opened up to him because he trusted him. He'd poured out his heart to him. It killed him not knowing how to help Jimin, it frustrated him not knowing what Namjoon wanted him to see. But the heartache he felt feeling useless was worth it if it it meant never hurting Jimin.
"I think I might even love you."
Yeontan whined in his arms, tail wagging slowly.
"I guess we're both pretty whipped aren't we boy?" Yoongi chuckled, lifting the dog up and placing a kiss on it's head. "We can be sad and lonely together."
A knock sounded at the door, making both Yoongi and Yeontan raise their heads. "Come In!" Yoongi called to whomever resides on the other side of the door.
The door cracked open a Seokjin poked his head in, cracking a wide smile. "Good morning! How are you holding up?"
"Eh..I'm doing pretty good." Yoongi shrugged, returning the smile. "What about you?"
"Oh I'm doing splendid! Thank you for asking! Listen!" Seokjin inched further into the room. "I have something for you!"
"Really?" Yoongi perked up and tilted his head curiously. "What is it?"
Seokjin's eyes narrowed into crescents as he entered the room. "Ta da!" He pulled a pair of crutches into the room, bouncing them as if they were walking.
"Crutches?" Yoongi gaped. "Does this mean I start walking today?!"
"Well sort of. You'll be hobbling more than anything, but this is a good way to get you back in the feel of being on your feet again. Once you comfortable walking on your good leg we'll get that cast off and start working on the other one."
Yoongi's smile faltered. "What if I get scared or my leg starts hurting? Will I be able to get my crutches back?"
"Of course! If we start your physical therapy without the crutches and you get too scared we can put you back on your crutches until you're ready to try again." Seokjin assured. "We'll move at your own pace."
Yoongi exhaled deeply. "That's a relief! I really appreciate it!"
"You're most welcome Yoongi! Would you like to try out the crutches?" Seokjin held out the crutches.
Yoongi pursed his lips, eyes darting between the crutches in thought. "…I'll give it a try…" He murmured at last.
"Wonderful!" Seokjin strolled over to Yoongi's bedside, and stood the crutches up. "Now, what you're going to do is swing your legs to this side of the bed and try to stand." Seokjin tapped the hand grip on the crutches. "You'll grab and hold onto this bar. The crutch pad on the top will go beneath your arms. Make sure to keep your casted foot off of the ground okay? Did you get all that?"
Yoongi nodded absentmindedly as he absorbed the instructions. " yeah but..c-could you help me? I'm too nervous, I think I'll fall." Yoongi blushes, slightly embarrassed by his confession.
"Of course I'll help! That's why I'm here!" Seokjin chuckled. He leaned the crutches up against the wall before pulling the sheets on the bed back. He gently grasped Yoongi's legs and pulled them to the side of the bed. "Now scoot forward and stand on your good leg."
Doing as instructed, Yoongi eased forward and off the bed, letting his sock clad foot touch the floor for the first time in what felt like years.
"Nice and easy…" Seokjin encouraged, one hand grasping the crutches while the other aided Yoongi in standing.
"Ooh!" Yoongi winced upon hearing the sound of the bones in his leg cracking, hobbling slightly to catch his balance. "Okay..okay." The patient inhaled deeply as he steadied himself, nodding a thanks to Seokjin as he grasped the crutches in his hands.
The doctor watched as Yoongi adjusted himself on the crutches, never releasing his grip on Yoongi. "How does it feel?"
"Weird." Yoongi huffed. "I feel like if I make one wrong step I'm going to fall on my ass."
"Well I'm right here so I won't let that happen!" Seokjin grinned. "What I want you to do is lift your crutches and put them a step in front of you. Then, put all of your weight on the crutches and move your good foot forward. Always keep your casted foot off the ground though, okay?"
"Got it." Yoongi nodded. He wriggled his fingers, adjusting his grip on the crutches before moving them forward. "Put all my weight on the crutches and…" Nervously, Yoongi heaved himself up and swung his foot forward, arms shaking as he did so.
"Careful!" Seokjin moves forward quickly, grabbing hold of Yoongi's mid section to steady him as his foot slid on the floor. "It's okay! You're doing great, a lot of people slip when they first start out! Give it another try."
Yoongi's heart hammered in his chest. This was what he feared, almost falling and hurting himself even more. 'Just breathe! Steady yourself and try again.'
Balancing himself on his crutches, Yoongi exhaled deeply. He repeated the same steps as before, but this time, placed his foot down between the two crutches instead of swinging it between them. He hobbled a little, fighting himself while keep his broken leg lifted.
"Good job!" Seokjin praised. "You did wonderful! Now let's try something!" Seokjin wandered a few paces in front of Yoongi. "Do you think you can walk to me?"
"I can give it a shot." Yoongi nodded, feeling a bit more confident after managing a step the second time.
"Alright! Remember, take it easy and pace yourself." Seokjin beckoned Yoongi towards. "Whenever you're ready."
Yoongi bit down on his bottom lip, fingers wiggling as his eyes measured the distance to Seokjin. Slowly, he brought the crutches forward, hauling himself after them seconds later. With every step he took, he took a few moments to ready himself before he took another until eventually he'd hobbled all the way over to Seokjin.
"You're doing fantastic! I can't wait to give Namjoon this update on your progress, he'll be so proud!"
Yoongi grinned, unable to hide his happiness upon being praised. "Thanks! It's unnerving, but I'll be limping with these smoothly in no time!"
"I like that confidence! It'll do you good once that cast comes off and we start you walking with both legs!" Seokjin clapped his hands. "I've got another offer for you!"
"Oh?" Yoongi tilted his head. "What do you have for me?"
"Well you've been holed up in this hospital for quite some time and I thought it'd be nice if I took you outside for a bit! We can get more practice in with your crutches and you can get some fresh air! Sound good?" Seokjin proposed with an upward lift of his brow.
"It sounds great!"
*****
"It's a lovely day today isn't it?" Seokjin asked, walking slowly beside Yoongi.
"Yeah…it's nice and warm!" Yoongi agreed, moving himself forward with the crutches. "It feels good to be outside again after so long."
"I bet! This is the best kind of weather to get exercise and clear the mind in!" Seokjin gripped onto his clipboard, throwing Yoongi a glance. "Anything on your mind?"
"…Eh." Yoongi shrugged, pausing momentarily. "The usual."
"And that is?"
Yoongi ran his tongue over his teeth, contemplating on whether or not to talk to Seokjin. 'It couldn't hurt I guess..' "I've been thinking about Jimin."
"Jimin?" Seokjin blinked in surprise. "Is..everything okay with him?"
"Yes? No? Maybe?" Yoongi sighed. "I don't know. I hate not knowing. He won't tell me what's going on with him and it's just making me worry about him more and more. I want to help him somehow, but it's hard to help when you don't know what the problem is you know?"
"Hmm…Jimin is quite the person huh?" Seokjin notes with a small nod. "Seems like you care about him quite a lot."
"I do! He's…very important to me." Yoongi murmured, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Give him time. When he's ready, he'll confide in you. For some people, the presence of those they care about alone is enough to help them through tough times. I'm sure you're making whatever he's going through easier to deal with. Just like he's making your time here better."
"Yeah…you're right. I'm gonna miss him though." Yoongi sighed. "Once I get released I probably won't be able to see him again."
"You can always visit him if he's still here you know. I wouldn't dream of keeping two lovebirds away from each other!" Seokjin teased with a grin.
"He's not- we're not dating!" Yoongi denied vehemently, staggering over his words as his cheeks turned red.
"I'm kidding I'm kidding!" Seokjin tossed his head back with a laugh. "But I don't think you should worry. If he cares for you as much as you care for him, he'll come around. In due time."
Yoongi nodded, hobbling forward on his crutches. 'That's just it. I wish I knew how much time we have left.'
*****
"Here we are, back to your room!" Seokjin pushed open the door, before giving Yoongi a concerned glance. "Now I've been asked to help tend to another patient as soon as possible so do you think you can get in and get yourself in bed on your own or do you need me to help you inside?"
"I think I can manage on my own." Yoongi replied. "I've gotten pretty accustomed to these so I don't think making it to the bed will be any trouble at all."
"Are you sure ? I can stay right here just in case you fall and need help."
"I'll be fine! You need to go help another patient, it could be a lot more serious than getting me to a bed. I can do it!" Yoongi offered a reassuring smile to the doctor.
Seokjin stared at him for a moment longer before giving a soft huff. "…alright then. I'll hold the door open and close it once you're inside. Remember, pace yourself."
"I won't forget!" Yoongi balanced his weight on his good leg as he repositioned the crutches. He hailed himself forward, making sure to take extra small pulls forward just to ease his doctors mind. Once deep enough into the room, the sound of the door closing with a soft click reached his ears. His eyes trailed around the short hall leading to his bed. The curtain was pulled, blocking any further view of the room. 'That's weird, that curtains always drawn.'
Yoongi gave a shrug, figuring that maybe some nurse came to clear out his room and decided to pull the curtain out. Not really giving the situation much more thought, he swung the crutches forward, ducking his head as he passed through the curtains.
He expected to see his bed neatly made and tidy, ready for him to get in it and mess it up again. What he hadn't been expecting was to see his bed neatly made and tidy with a curled up Jimin laying on top of it.
"Jimin?" Yoongi called out to the small male. He waited for Jimin to turn over and face him, give him that heart stealing smile and say hello. But none of that happened. The figure just remained still.
Too still.
"Jimin?" Yoongi called to him again, panic beginning to rise in his chest, throat and voice. His heart hammered within the confines of his rib cage. Suddenly the ground felt too unsteady, his palms were to sweaty, and his ears could register not a sound. As he stared wide eyed at the bed, vision turning blurry, his worst fear seemed to become real.
'He's not moving. He's still. He's dead, he's dead. He died on your bed! Why weren't you here?! He's dead, he's dead, he's dead he's dead- '
"Yoongi?! Yoongi snap out of it! Yoongi!"
He blinked. Once, twice, three times. Jimin was above him, staring down at him in worry.
"Yoongi please calm down! Just breathe okay?" Jimin's soothing voice caressed his ears, bringing him back to reality.
His senses came rushing back. He could feel the pair of cold hands that cupped his face tenderly and the wet trail of tears that painted his cheeks. He could feel his own fingers clutching at the porcelain tiled floor with such force that they cramped. He could hear his own heavy and choked breathing, feel the searing pain that resounded in his chest with every beat of his heart.
"That's it..just breath." Jimin's thumb stroked his cheek.
"You..you..I thought..you were..dead." Yoongi stumbled over his words. The image of Jimin laying on his bed deathly still remained in his mind.
"I wanted to surprise you again…I was hoping you'd come up to the bed so I could jump up and hug you good morning but..that didn't happen." Jimin frowned, tone gentle as he spoke. "I'm sorry Yoongi. I didn't mean to scare you so badly."
"I…" Yoongi shook his head, slowly but surely beginning to relax. "I can't handle this.."
And he couldn't.
He'd always imagined that if the time came, he would be strong for Jimin in his final moments. That he'd hold his hand, whisper calling words as Jimin passed on. And yet when he came face to face with what he thought was jimin's lifeless body, he broke. The truth of the matter was that he was far too weak for this.
He was far too in love to simply let Jimin go.
"P-please…Jimin…don't leave me." It was a broken plea, a cry for fate to have mercy on him. "I can't take it..I love you too much." His hands trembled as he reached out for the body before him and held onto it for dear life.
Yoongi felt the cooling pressure of Jimin's forehead against his and the small, warm puffs of air against his wet cheeks.
"I'll stay for as long as you want me here."
A chapter in which I give you all more angst and feels <3