Sinopse
I rewrite the story to have a good grammars and fix some plot
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
the story of a guy with a fusion of legendary and ancient
(1st ever Fanfic I write)
-- Ranking de
Poder 
-- Pedra de
Poder Você também pode gostar
3Opiniões
- Qualidade de Escrita
- Estabilidade das atualizações
- Desenvolvimento de Histórias
- Design de Personagens
- Antecedentes do mundo
Compartilhe seus pensamentos com outras pessoas
Escreva uma avaliação
The story has no character development and the story moves way to fast. You should develop the character more for example their personality, what they like to make it more enjoyable to read. The plot of the story moves way to fast, say you write a short story about going to a shop, your story is like "I went to a shop and bought some sweets and drinks". Instead a good story would include walking to the shops, describing the buildings around the area, describing the shop and including a lot more things.
Revelar Spoiler
Well i rated to high XD Jdjdvdjfbdjdvjdbfjfvfjdbfidvfjdbfiejeuevdidvfufjdodbdzdjelenudhdjdidhdduhdkidid7dbdofusjspdjdhdiddvdhdkdjddudbhvtxgvcgchhfvkcfvbjj h j j h zni hgh ivh j i uu
Suck mah asshole /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Revelar Spoiler