Capítulo 36: What Is Love
{Warning: Read With Caution}
The classroom was entirely silent. Not even the teacher dared to make a sound. Everyone, with the exception of Bai Murong, was simply staring at the Yi Fei, wondering what exactly she did to attract a school prince's attention.
Some looked on her with pity while others— envy. The cold, hard stares on Yi Fei made her throat feel muffled, uncomfortable and powerless to voice out an intelligible sound. Her hands were shaking terribly, unable to grip the pencil right.
Luckily, the school bell rang soon after.
"Class dismissed. Don't forget your projects," The teacher said hurriedly, packing up her belongings and quickly leaving the room.
Meanwhile, some of the other students started to pack up as well. But if you had looked closely, an attractive group of girls were guardedly standing next to the sliding doors. Yi Fei breathe a sigh of relief as she started to pack up her school supplies as well, no longer sensing the vicious and keen stares crawling on her skin.
But, before Yi Fei could stand up, a strong girl forcefully pushed her shoulder right back down. Yi Fei rashly looked up with huge eyes, realizing it was the infamous freshman wrestling captain: Shao Zhenya.
"So... quiet girl," A pretty girl leisurely walked towards Yi Fei's desk. "Why did Bai Murong let you in his group?"
The other girls started to huddle around Yi Fei's desk, intimidating her with their presence and no sense of an exit.
"I-I..." Yi Fei stared down on her fingers. "Don.."
"What? Cat caught your tongue? Another girl sneered. "You think an ugly girl like you can... even look at him?"
"No..." Yi Fei reflexively muttered.
"Tell the teacher you're working alone," A girl said. "Or else..."
Yi Fei nodded and whimpered, her quivering voice trembling. She tightly gripped onto her plaid skirt, whispering nothings to herself. Their hard stares continued on for a long second before a mocking laugh came out of one of the girls, Meng Ha.
"Heh," Meng Ha chuckled. "See you tomorrow, quiet girl."
Yi Fei couldn't describe the sheer amount of hatred she carried inside at this moment. The very depth of her character was pure disgust and malice. As she could hear the click-clack steps going away, the bursting contempt became stronger and stronger. Or more like, it further materialized.
Yi Fei daringly dug in her nails into her bare palms. In the empty classroom, a petite girl did nothing but watch her hands bleed from the harsh force and sharpness. It was a pleasing and tranquilizing sight to the girl, tears welling up in her eyes yet a small smile on her lips. She asked herself if this was self-harm.
"No, it's not..." Yi Fei hurtfully mumbled. "I... I'm not cutting myself. This is different."
But was it really?
Why was she doing this in the first place? Why was hurting herself so pacifying?
"Do you love yourself, Yi Fei?" She unwillingly asked. "Is this love?"
Love... What is love?
"Love is... pain," Yi Fei spoke, slowly getting up from her seat with a bleeding hand.
PENSAMENTOS DOS CRIADORES 
PoeticPenguin
PoeticPenguin (please reread chapter 35, I rewrote it lol)
Ah, need to write another chapter now! lol dont think ill be able to post today but definitely tomorrow. Then, the usual 3-4 chapters afterward.
This chapter was a little inside of Yi Fei's mind. I hope you can understand the real struggle of what she is going through and know that it takes a lot of power to get out of that mentality. :)
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