February 17
At lunch, Alia sat at her usual table with her friends Violet and Dina. On most days, Alex would sit next to her, but today he was absent. He told her this morning he was leaving to visit his grandmother who was in the hospital.
Alia sighed and pushed her school's spaghetti around her tray. She didn't have an appetite today. Hadn't had much of one for a few weeks, refusing her usual seconds at dinner since James had confessed to her.
Dina slammed her tray onto her table after returning from the lunch line, making Alia and Violet jump in their seats. The force knocked over her carton of milk. Sitting on her knees in the chair, Dina stared at Alia with a determined expression.
Alia looked away. Dina's staring was beginning to make her feel naked. Like she could see right through her. "What in the hell is wrong with you lately?"
Violet pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered, "Way to be subtle, Di."
She ignored her friend and continued staring at Alia. "Well? You gonna answer, or pretend you didn't hear me?"
"There's nothing wrong, guys. I'm just feeling tired."
"Bull shit!" Violet and Dina said together. Dina was louder and accusing while Violet's voice was flat like she was stating an obvious fact. The two bore down on Alia with eyes that told her to confess what was really going on.
"Is it because Alex isn't here?" Dina all but screamed. People briefly glanced over at their table.
Before Alia could answer, Violet, cut in, "No, that's not why. She's been like this for over a month now. The only reason I didn't say anything sooner is 'cause Alex was hovering like a damn fly."
As Violet was about to stab a cube pear, Dina grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her violently. The fork with the pear on it splashed into the juice and left to large drops on the table. While shaking her, Dina yelled, "Oh shit, you're right! What if she's dying! Or moving! Or both!" She talked about Alia like she wasn't sitting across from them watching the whole thing.
"Get the hell off, psycho!" Violet swatted Dina's hands away. She glared at the woman in front of her. "What the hell! You could've said it like a normal human being instead of giving me whiplash!" She yelled while rubbing her neck.
"B-b-b-but--" Dina stammered while pointing at Alia like she would disappear into thin air.
"Um, guys?" The two snapped to Alia, their previous squabble forgotten as they remembered the very reason it started.
"Spill." It was Violet who spoke, her eyes drilling a hole through Alia as she continued rubbing her sore neck.
"You know that guy I've been tutoring after school?"
"Yeah, for like, five months, right?" Dina said, her milk carton in her hand. "Somethin' happen to him?"
Alia took a bite of the pasta on her tray, muffling her high pitched, "Sort of,"
Violet narrowed her eyes at her friend from across the table. "What do you mean, 'sort of'? Did something happen to him or not?"
She took a swig of chocolate milk before answering, "Yes?"
"I feel like you're leaving out something very crucial to this whole thing. Explain to us the entire thing. And hurry up, before lunch is over." Violet tried to rush her, even adding two snaps of her fingers for effect.
As if on cue, the bell rang and lunch was over. Violet and Dina groaned at their luck. Alia stood with her tray, still full of her lunch. As she began to walk away, Dina called after her, "We're coming over tonight, and you're telling us everything!"
Alia pretended to ignore her and continued through the throng of students. Her gut was twisting just at the thought of explaining everything to the two of them.
___
Unlike her usual after-school schedule, Alia went home in her blue minivan. On the way, she ordered from McDonald's five blocks from her house.
With her McDonald's food and drink carrier, she awkwardly unlocked the door and walked into the house. "Hi, Honey!" Her father greeted her with a smile, a thick mustache covering his upper lip. He stared at her full hands and commented, "You're home early today. Plans?"
"Dina and Violet," Was all she had to say for her father to understand.
"Are they staying over?"
She slumped over the dining room table across from where her father sat, nearly spilling the drinks as the ring of keys jingles together and a few loose fries spilled from the open top of the bag. With a sigh, Alia replied, "Probably."
With a smile, he asked, "What are they here for this time?"
Forehead on the cool wood of the table, she answered simply, "Details."
His large eyebrows drew together. "About?"
"Boys." She corrected herself, "A boy."
"A boy!" He says, his bushy eyebrows shooting up his forehead. She's about to reassure him it's nothing when he envelopes her in a bone-crushing hug. "I'm so happy! I thought this day would never come!"
Her eyebrows draw together. "But I already have a boyfriend. You know, Alex?"
"I thought that was who you were talking about." He says from above her head, confused. Alia flushes. Of course, that's what he meant. "What I meant is that you're finally opening up, even if it's not to me." He holds her at arm's length. "Have you even told them about your mother?"
Awkwardly, she looks away. "No, I haven't." There were only three people outside her family who knew about her mother. Andrea, her friend who moved to Oregon when she was fourteen; Alex, her childhood friend and current boyfriend; And James, her...she wasn't really sure what James was to her anymore.
She'd let it slip during one of their tutoring sessions.
"What are your plans for this weekend?" James had asked.
Usually, she would've responded with something about Netflix or Alex. But that day, she'd been preoccupied, worried about the weekend. "Visiting my mom in the hospital." Alia hadn't even realized she'd said it until it left her mouth and the lead of her pencil tore the paper.
She shrugged off the memory of his concerned face and his warm hug when they were parting in the hall. "I'll tell them soon," Alia assured her father, with a smile.
Before he could say anything else to her, there was a chorus of knocks. On the other side, Alia could hear Violet yelling at Dina. She wasn't surprised. After a short pause, she opened the front door.
Violet lowered her raised fist at the sight of the burly man in the door frame. "Hey, guys,"
___
The three girls sat on the carpeted floor of Alia's room. Dina, with a mouth full of fries, asked, "You wear glasses?"
It's eleven at night and Alia sits Indian style on the floor, glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. "Oh, yeah. I usually wear contacts, though."
Violet shushed Dina. "Okay, continue, please."
"But I just finished telling you why I'm out of it. Are you asking me to tell you again?" Alia takes
Violet's excited expression turns into a frown. "Wait, so that's all that happened? He told you he liked you and stopped going to tutoring, and that's why you've been depressed for a month?" She nodded. "That can't be all. There's something you're not telling us, isn't there?"
Alia squirmed under their scrutinizing stares. "I," she paused and took a breath. Admitting this could make it final, and she wasn't sure she wanted too. But it was too late. The words were already spilling from her mouth. "I think I like James."
Violet and Dina stared at her, their eyes wide. "Please say something." Alia moaned with her now flushed face in her hands. She was too embarrassed to look at them now. "I feel awful about it. What am I supposed to tell Alex?"
Violet placed a hand on Alia's shoulder and Dina on the other. "Do you love Alex?" Violet asked.
Dina asked, "Or do you just like him?"
Did she love him? She'd known him since childhood and liked him a lot. But did she love him? "I...I don't think I've ever thought about it." Alia confessed to her two friends.
"But you've thought about it a lot with James, right?" Violet questioned, one of her eyebrows raised.
She thought through the past few months. She remembered the first time she'd thought about him in that way. He'd fallen asleep during one of their lessons, pencil still in his hand and drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. She remembered thinking with a smile, I wonder what it would be like to wake up to that sight every morning.
Heat climbed into her cheeks again. Violet and Dina gave her shoulders a pat simultaneously. "I'll take your red face as a yes," Dina said a smirk on her and Violet's lips.