Capítulo 40: Mrs White
LULAN nang uber patungo sa bahay ni Mrs. White, hindi mawala-wala sa isip ni Jyra ang nangyari kanina. Malik was obviously hiding something from her. It was true she broke her promise way back when she left him. That was way back six years ago. And it was true that a while ago, naisip niya nang umalis na sana at huwag nang maghintay. Pero nanatili pa rin siya. There was a difference now. Even if she really doesn't have a plan about their unlabeled relationship, she will never hurt him. Not anymore. That is what her heart was telling her, but sometimes, even if for herself she decides without analyzing the situation. Just like how she agreed to the deal. She just agreed with that through jealousy, without thinking the outcome and who will be affected with the mistake.
She shook her head when a shallow image appeared on her sight.
She was on the living room. Doon siya pinadiretso ng ginang habang ito'y naghahanda ng kanyang makakain.
Her forehead creased when she watched the lips of the woman, as it slowly open and close. She can visualize the sound waves that were dancing in the air. There were volumes of words coming to her ears. A loud noise screeched. And immediately, she eerily flinched.
"Jyra, are you with me?" the woman worriedly asked.
Ilang beses siyang kumurap-kurap bago kinusot ang mga mata. She even glanced at the wall clock and heaved a deep sigh. I am so nervous. God! She forced herself to smile. "I'm sorry. Ano nga ulit 'yon?" She asked, trying to hide her real struggle inside her brain.
The woman fixed her eyeglasses. Saglit nitong pinasadahan ng tingin ang kanyang kasuotan, bago inusig ang kanyang inakto. "I assumed you are not here because you have a problem. Honestly, you are one of my favorite clients because you are the bravest." She plastered a smile on her lips, but her eyes especially the eyebrow doesn't show any humor at all. Her strict face makes Jyra felt uneasy.
"Mrs. White, I am sorry to disappoint you but... my fear comes back," she almost whispered.
Hindi kumurap ang babae, nagpapabatid na ipagpatuloy niya ang sinasabi at nakikinig ito sa kanya.
Umiwas siya nang tingin at pakunwari'y inaayos ang suot na damit. Coming back there was very hard for her. It was not about the woman's unfriendly aura, it was about of her work. Just like her best pal; people go along with her because of cases and problem, while in this place people visits because of psychological issue.
Ilang taon na ang nagdaan. Akala niya ay okay na, ngunit pilit pa ring bumabalik ang alaala ng nakaraan. When she saw Andrei, extreme terror showered her whole body. Her reaction was very scary. Malik was right, what if he was not there?
She can't control herself as if it was encoded to her system and unerasable.
"Comes back," the woman reiterated.
Dinampot niya ang basong may laman na juice para uminom. Mabigat sa kanyang pag-usapan noon ito, pero ngayong kilala niya ang kaharap at alam na nito ang sikreto niya. May parte sa pagkatao niya ang nagsasabing malaya siyang magpakatotoo rito.
Pagkapatong ng baso sa mesa, hinawakan niya agad ang kanyang kaliwang kamay. Nanginginig pala iyon at ngayon niya lang napansin.
"M-my stepfather comes back," she revealed.
Nilunok niya lahat ng agam-agam at takot nang mapansin ang pagsingkit ng mata ng babae. "How? Hinahanap ka ba niya?" May isinulat ito sa maliit na notebook at agad dinugtungan ang tanong, "Nakilala ka ba niya?"
Umiling siya nang maraming beses. "May pinuntahan akong event. I saw him there."
The woman's forehead creased. "Are you sure that it was him?"
"Yes. Imposibleng makalimutan ko ang mukha ng demonyo na 'yon. He was truly the curse... and he infected me."
Napakurap ang babae sa bahagyang pagtaas ng boses niya.
Napapikit siya nang maalala ang saya sa mukha ni Mr. Andrei noong umakyat ito sa stage upang samahan si Cielo. The man looks gentle and educated, that if she revealed everything she will stain his clean image.
"Did he saw you?" Mrs. White continued.
Tumingala siya upang pigilan ang nagbabadyang luha. Naiinis siya dahil pakiwari niya, siya pa itong magmumukhang masama. Sumagi na isipan niyang ipakulong ito, ngunit mahina na ang ebidensiya. Hindi sapat na sabihin niya lang na nagahasa siya. Walang makakapagpatunay. Hindi niya rin alam kung nasaan ang ina na si Jessica Holmes.
"He didn't," sagot niya.
"What is your initial reaction when you saw him?" The woman asked while busy jotting down on her notes.
"Natakot ako. Nanginginig ang buong katawan ko kaya umalis ako sa event."
Tumigil sa pagsusulat ang babae para tingnan siya. "Where did you go?"
"I don't have any plans actually, I just wanted to escape until Malik showed up."
"He was there? And then, what did he do?" Mrs. White rested her back on the chair and attentively glared at her.
"He comforted me like the usual. You know what, he really knows how to suppress my emotion. Even my nightmares were gone each time he slept with me. He is really my hero."
Mrs. White smirked. "Is he the man on the party?"
Nahihiya niyang itinango ang ulo. That loosen the tension between them. Mentioning him makes her felt at ease. She really doesn't know why?
They talked more. Ibinahagi niya rin dito ang naging reaction niya noong muntik nang may mangyari sa kanila ni Malik. Her reactions and everything that she thought was the trigger.
Mrs. White quoted that Malik could be a help but sometimes a trigger too. She didn't tell her to ditch him. Instead, she advises her to exercise her mind – the way she thinks. In order for her to have a harmony and stability in her mind and being, she has to dissolve her inner conflict. She has to fix her inner conflict before the external. So that, she can easily determine what exactly she stands and gets firm to that.
She explained to her thoroughly all the inner conflict guidelines. Kung minsan ay binabahagi rin niya ang saloobin.
Mrs. White's patience was very wide and long she answered all her queries and sometimes it was really hard for Jyra to do it.
"Truth hurts my dear," the woman pointed out when she sighed.
"Iniisip ko palang po kasi ang magiging reaction niya ay natatakot na ako. Paano kung mangdiri siya sa akin at layuan?" Natigilan siya nang maalala ang nangyari kay Frank. Malaki ang posibilidad na mangyari sa kanya ang gaya ng nangyari sa kapatid.
"This is the real trial, Jyra. Iyon lang ang tanging paraan para makawala ka sa takot mo. Kailangan nating sumugal para gumaling ka. Babalik ulit tayo sa simula kapag patuloy nating tinakpan ang nakaraan. It is good that you voided Vika to your life. You will not be cured if you remain hiding. It is now time to face them all. You have to be naked. Show them your naked scar."
Gumuhit ang kilabot sa buong katawan niya dahil sa sinabi nito. Mahirap tanggapin at mabigat sa kaloobang gawin iyon, pero dapat niyang subukan.
Mrs. White patted her back. "Maniwala ka sa akin. Kung minsan, kung ano pa ang inaasahan natin iyon pa ang kabaligtaran."
Nanatili siyang tahimik habang ninanamnam ang lahat ng payo sa kanya nito. She can't say something, but she can think properly. Plano niya nang sabihin kay Malik ngayong gabi ang lahat ng ito. Physically she's prepared but mentally, she was trying so badly.
Umalis ang ginang panandalian at bumalik na may dala ng pagkain.
Her eyes drifted on the pie, a knife, two small plates, and two forks. "Kayo po ang may gawa niyan?"
The woman nodded her head. "Feel kong kumain nito kaya gumawa ako. Sakto nga at narito ka, tikman mo kung puwede na akong magretiro sa trabaho kong ito."
Tumawa siya sa biro nito.
"Anyway," Mrs. White thrilled. Dinampot nito ang knife bago tumingin sa kanya. "Observe the pie, dear," utos sa kanya nito.
Tumalima naman siya at doon lang itinuon ang kanyang buong atensyon.
"Through naked eye, we can see only the outside look of this pie." She tapped the knife on the crust. "The texture is quite burned. It makes it not delicious... worst, you will ignore it. And choose to buy something else." She shrugged her shoulder and even glanced at her. "But, if we do this." Tinusok nito ang gitnang bahagi at hiniwa ang pie sa pahugis triangle. She scooped one slice and put on the small plate. Itinaas nito ang plate at ipinakita sa kanya. "You can see now the inner texture. And by smelling on it, perhaps you can judge it as tasty. Right?"
Tumango siya at kinuha iyon noong inabot sa kanya.
She excitedly took the pie and taste it. Tumango-tango siya habang ninanamnam ang lasa niyon. "Hmmmm. This is fantastic and delicious." She praised as she bite once more.
Mrs. White laughed at her reaction.
"That could be the exact reaction of your man. He could be scary and handsome as hell, but surely, he will understand. By analyzing everything, it was not your fault, dear. You don't need to fear his reaction. Fear was fear. And you should not plant any fear on your heart. Pray and ask our creators' guidance. I know you are already healed. Mentally, you're just bearing the seed of fear and you have to detach that."
Bumagal ang pag-nguya niya sa pie. That awakes her mind. Buo na talaga ang pasya niya. Pupuntahan niya ngayong gabi si Malik sa condo nito para aminin ang nangyari sa kanya noon. Kung ano man ang magiging reaction nito. Tatanggapin niya ng buong puso.
"Thank you, Mrs. White. And I think, you can start now your business too."
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