Capítulo 18: Kii's Interlude: My Prince
It's every girl dreams to have a Prince Charming swift them off the earth. It was my dream too. When I feel lonely I dream of him rescuing me and take me away for adventures. I want to leave this place. The Place that make me suffocated. I want to go away to the place where nobody know me. I want to be free. I want to leave them. They won't miss me anyway.
When I was young mother tell me that I'm not her daughter. She said I was a daughter of a woman that force her husband to share his love. She told me that my mother is the reason Nee-sama is born. If not because of father marrying my mother she wouldn't have became an unfaithful woman and had Nee-sama with another man.
It was my mother fault, she said. Mother apologized that she wouldn't be able to love me. Aoi-nii she might be able to love because he looks exactly like father but I was a carbon copy of our mother. It wasn't my fault, she said. But she just can't love me.
She said that they only have one daughter and that was Nee-sama so I better be out of their way. I have no place in this family. That is what she told me years ago.
She was right. I had no place.
No one love me, no one praise me when I did good. No one wish me Happy Birthday even though I have the same birthday as Aoi-nii. I believe that I was alone. Then after so long, I give up. I decided that I would just stay away.
I wish my prince will come to take me away and save me from this unpleasant situations.
I'm aware there wouldn't be such a Prince in real life. Such thing only happen in a fairy tales book. I still wish for it anyway.
If Ether-sama isn't too busy to listen to my request, please send me a Prince who will bring a change in my life. I promise I'll love him forever. That was my pray every night.
I know it won't happen but I pray anyway.
Then Aoi-nii changed.
One day he gave me a big hug and stay by my side. When the invitation from the Royal palace comes for Nee-sama and I, he told the maids not to help me but to let me choose my own dress and do my own make up. I was grateful. The maids in our house hate me, they said so to me, so when they dress me up they always choose something I didn't like. I don't have many clothes to begin with but I still have yearly dresses that Father obligated to purchase for me. I was still this house daughter even if they don't want me to. If Father never purchased dresses for me then it would be bad in public eyes.
Father always purchased a bright coloured dresses for me. All of them mostly in pink, yellow, light blue or white. That's not the colour I prefer but I was grateful. The only dress I like was the dress from a year ago. It was a knees length midnight blue off shoulder dress with silver raindrops beading scattering on the top and with a cute big ribbon tied on the back. I choose to wear a silver low heeled shoes along with it to make it easier for me to walk, in case the maids decided to drop me half way again. I don't know to do make up so I didn't put any and just let my hair as it is. I hope the Royal family wouldn't be offended with my appearance. I heard that your hairstyle is important.
To my surprise Aoi-nii choose to share carriage with me. I was really grateful. Because of that I arrived at the palace without problem.
The purpose of this ball is to choose a fiancee for his highness Crown Prince-sama that's why all the daughters from noble houses that still not engaged yet has been a invited to come. Not coming is same as not respecting the Royal family. That's why I'm also here now. I line up behind Nee-sama. It's just for formality for me being here. That's what I think.
"I choose her. She is the one that I want as a fiancee. I choose her to be the one that will be allowed to stay at my side" his highness Crown Prince-sama said after I over him my greeting.
Did he meant me? What do I do? I lost for moments then His highness King-sama order me to sit beside Crown Prince-sama. I sat there but my mind was muddled. Will they angry that I was chosen instead of Nee-sama? I don't want to make everything worsen. I don't remember what happened after that. Suddenly I find myself sat in a garden with his highness beside me.
"I hope it was your own will to be a candidate for my fiancee" His highness Crown Prince-sama's voice awaken me from my daze.
I hurriedly assured him that I wasn't being forced. He asked many weird questions and doesn't like to be called his highness or even Arzen-sama. Actually he doesn't want to be called with honorific at all. I can't do that. I'll be punished if I do.
He kissed me and asked me to stay by his side. His side and not The Crown Prince-sama side. My heart feel warm.
For the first time in my short life, I feel wanted.
I smile and let him kiss me again. His lips are soft and he is warm. It make me feel safe to be in his arms.
Ace-kun is my prince not because he is the crown prince but because he makes me feel many kind of emotions.
He makes me smile. He makes me laugh and he makes me cry.
He never let me feel lonely. I'm not really go away but he save me from being suffocated by the pressure being in their presence. I'm grateful.
Aoi-nii try his best to protect me but I don't want him too. Because I love him. He is the only real family I have. I don't want to be a burden to him. I don't want to be the reason he lose family. I'm lonely and unloved by our family. I don't want Aoi-nii to be like that too. I want him to be happy and stay loved by them. To have the love of family that I will never have. At least one of us has to have family.
Ace-kun chases away all of my sadness and loneliness. He puts colour in my dull heart. Make my heart radiant. He rises a sun in my dark world. Make my world shinning brightly. He gives me love. Make me exuberant every day.
He change my Heart, change my World, change me.
Every day is full of adventures when I'm with Ace-kun. He doesn't embarrassed to say that he loves me every day. He also doesn't hesitate to show it to me. Each day I feel happier and happier.
He is full of surprises and act spontaneous. He is an enigma and he chooses me to be his. I'm honored to be able to love him. Yes, I've realized that I am also in love with Ace-kun.
It was a normal day when I realized that. We were in an expedition to the forest. My Prince, somehow like to spend his time in the forest fighting and hunting beasts rather than in palace studying and preparing to be a future king. We went to the forest with Lexy-san, Ace-kun was exciting about something. He said he finally succeeded to do the spell that he had been trying to create. Then, there were those huge tiger-like beasts attacked us, it scared me, not the beasts but how Ace-kun fighting them was what scared me so much.
He didn't have difficulty fighting them, that was incredible, but did he have to lit himself on fire? I was so scared. I thought he was going to die. That was the only time Ace-kun made me cry.
That was years ago. Now though, I've been used seeing it or any other Ace-kun weird creation things really, that they do not surprise me anymore. Beside I know Ace-kun will be able to handle it.
With him, everyday is a happy day. I miss him when he is far. I'm always excited to find out what will we do next, what he will show me, what story he will tell. My favorite is the story about the cursed demon king son.
It is not happy story and the main character is not a hero but a criminal. Yet I find myself want to know more about him. I'm upset when the boy find a misfortune and happy when he find something great. Ace-kun never tell the boy's name nor his appearance but somehow I feel like I know this boy very well. Like he wasn't a stranger at all.
When I meet the boy for the first time, well, it's not really meeting him it was more like I was watching him, he wasn't a boy anymore but has already a man. A very attractive man. I don't know how I know, I just knew it was him.
I saw the story Ace-kun told me. I saw the boy left his island then him meeting his so called first mate, then encounter his other crew one by one. I saw him meeting a one-armed red haired man. Fighting a big blue whale shark man and losing to a super huge moustache man.
I saw him mourning for the lost of his crews. I watch him sulking when he failed yet again to defeat super huge moustache man. I watch it all. His daubting face, his longing face, and finally his smiling face. Witnessing him finding family and be happy. I find myself smiling at it. I can't hear what they say but I can see their expressions. I'm glad he found a place where he belongs. He looks as if he has a galaxy size of burden on his shoulder so it was refreshing to see him smile carefreely.
But then he was hurt. I saw him chained to the wall. He looks tired and weak. He never look weak! I tried to tell him it is OK. He will be okay but I can't touch him. Then bad turn to worse. There was a war. At least it looked like a war. He was looking devastatedly at the war. Then he was crying. I'm really really want to comfort him. But I can't.
I was so glad when someone finally save him but then he died saving the same person. I feel complicated. He died saving someone. I'm proud of it. But him dying? It's painful. So painful when I saw a fist went through his body.
"Ace-kun!" I uncounciously scream. My hand reaching for him.
Eh? Ace-kun? He isn't Ace-kun. Why did I called out to him?
I saw his body fell. I saw the person he save crying with agony when I kneel beside his body. His unmoving bloody body. He looked peaceful. He died with a smile.
"please don't die..." I whispered to his body.
"No! No! Wait... Don't go... Come back!" I shout as his body and all the scenes starting to fade away.
Then I was in the dark room. I saw myself sitting alone there. A ball and chain shackled to one leg.
Was that me? What did I do?
Then I saw Ace-kun but he wasn't Ace-kun. Ace-kun wouldn't hurt me. This person with Ace-kun's face was hurting me. Forcing me to satisfy his need. I don't want it. I don't want to witness it. The me that wasn't me begging him to stop. I find myself trembling at the noise they made. Why did I heard it? I close my eyes and cover my ears tightly. I still can heard them. I'm scared. I don't want to see them. I don't want to hear them. This Ace-kun was bad and this me I so stupid. Can't she defende herself? Ace-kun taught me about self defense. This me at least should try to defend herself.
I don't want this. This is nightmare. I want to see Ace-kun. I really really want to see Ace-kun. My Ace-kun.
Then I woke up. Ace-kun wasn't there so I went to find him. I need him. I want him. I just want to be in his arms.
We made love that night. It wasn't scary like what I saw in that jail. Contrary to what I witnessed it was amazing. Ace-kun was gentle at first but the next one was more exciting. I can feel his love in his every touch. The one in the next morning and other time that come after were simply amazing.
I afraid that I've become a lewd person. Ether-sama, I beg your mercy!
There is this strange lady in our Academy. I don't remember her name but one day she asked me if I was a reincarnated person too. What does it even mean? When I told Ace-kun he said I have to avoid her. It doesn't matter really, so I just did what Ace-kun wish. Beside Aoi-nii also seem not too fond of this lady.
This lady seems to always present wherever Ace-kun is. At first I thought she want to be friend with Ace-kun but Aoi-nii said that she is seducing Ace-kun. Even though we know Ace-kun won't betrayed me I still need to stop her advance, that's what Aoi-nii said. So I did what Aoi-nii teach me. I don't want to lose Ace-kun after all.
Ace-kun is silly, crazy and so shameless. And what worse is that his shameless is contagious. Not only that but I've also have become as crazy and silly as him. I guess I am a lose case already. I follow him everywhere after all. If he decides he will visit hell or have a Cerberus as a pet. I'm sure I'll be gone with him to find it.
When I look into his eyes I can't see anyone else but him and I will said something that will make me want to bury myself in a hole when I remember it again. Like at that party last time
I love Ace-kun. There is no doubt about that. Yet when I close my eyes and think about Ace-kun, it wasn't his face I saw but the boy's face. When I remember that boy smile and laugh, his cocky, protective and confident attitude, his body... Especially his body, his broad shoulder, his biceps and abs. Noooooo! When did I became like this? I love Ace-kun. My Ace-kun has a lean body and not muscled. He has silver hair not black and it's not wavy either. And My Ace-kun definitely like to wear shirts!
It's hurt to admit but I can't deny it. I attracted to the boy in the story whose name I don't even know nor that he even real. It's not an excuse though. Real or not I still betrayed Ace-kun. I'm a terrible person.
Ace-kun seems to be happy though every time he caught me thinking about that boy. I don't understand. Ace-kun is weird like that though so I probably shouldn't think about it very much. As long as I'm not starting imagining that boy when I make love to Ace-kun I'll be fine I think.
I might have jinxed it.
When I made love with Ace-kun the night after exam, for a moment I saw the boy instead of Ace-kun. What do I do now?
On our way back from exam I fell down into a tunnel with prince Rhuifen. It was unpleasant day. That lady I spoke of was a very clumsy lady. He bumped into me and made us fell. It's lucky that the fall wasn't that deep if not we would be injured gravelly.
"Are you really sleeping with Arzen?" Prince Rhuifen suddenly ask.
"yes" I answered.
"why?" he required.
"why what?" I asked him back.
I'm not really understand what he meant. What did he meant why. Isn't it obvious?
"why are you sleeping with him?" he asked again.
He sound angry. I thought to myself that I was the one who should ask why. Why did it matter for him anyway?
"Ace-kun is my fiance" (duh) I reminded him as we turn to the left.
"you don't have to sleep with him if you don't want to" he said.
"but I want to" I told him again as we turned left again.
"why?" he pressed.
"I love Ace-kun and..."
"you don't love him" he cut me.
His hands grasped my arms and slammed my back to the wall. Ouch. It's hurt.
"you don't love him!" he hissed.
"but I do love him" I told him again.
"you don't!" he half shouted.
I blinked at him. What is his deal? I thought, uncounciously tilted my head.
"I know I do. I love Ace-kun very much" I said.
My answer seems to anger him. He tried to kiss me. I turn my face just in time, but he still kissed my neck. It's disgusting. I don't want to be touched by anyone but Ace-kun.
So I did what everyone supposed to do in situation like that. His hold on my arms was very tight, I couldn't move my hands at all, so I step on his foot hard. Very very very hard. He slacken his grips in surprised. I took my chance to pushed him away from me and immediately leave him far far away. What is his problem?
I was angry. I want to punch and kick him more but I still need to find Ace-kun and Aoi-nii. Beside we still need him to be able to pass the exam. What a shame. I wouldn't dare to promise that I wouldn't do anything if he tried again though. I walked faster as I heard him calling me and his footsteps getting closer.
I asked Ace-kun to kiss me as soon as I found him. I couldn't wash it but I Ace-kun kiss hopefully would was away the feeling momentarily. The night after that was wonderful though. So at least that day wasn't completely bad.
That was three days ago.
Today is Ace-kun birthday. We will have a big party in the Academy ballroom. Ace-kun prefer smaller party but his position is not allowed him to do that. Especially after last year birthday when he pretended to be sick so he wouldn't need to have a party at all. He is so silly.
Ace-kun dislike Birthday party. This year he couldn't escape though. So he was sulking all day today, then demanded a particular present from me. He only smile and promised to attend his party after I happily agree to his demands.
I told him that he doesn't need to escort me tonight. He disagrees, of course. So here I am waiting for him. Aoi-nii and Nee-sama have long gone. The king and the first lady will come to the party so they couldn't be late. Aoi-nii was adamant about not letting me alone but I asked Nee-sama help to get him to move.
"Stay close to Arzen-sama tonight" someone voice suddenly heard.
When I turn around he is already gone. His tailcoat blowing as he left. Eh... Who?
The party was tiresome. My cheeks hurt due to smiling a lot as I accompany Ace-kun to receive greetings from his guests.
When he noticed that the usual lady, I really should remember her name, glanced at him, Ace-kun lead me away to sneak out. We are halted by Arren Nii-Sama.
"Go tell Father and Mother before you left" he says.
Ace-kun beaming at him and we got permission to take a breather outside. They knew Ace-kun hates birthday party after all.
"Freedom!" Ace-kun shouts as soon as we are outside the ballroom. I laugh at his actions.
We heard a clacking noise behind us. We immediately hide behind one of the big pillars. Why hide? I'm not sure really. We saw that whatshername lady pass by. Ace-kun breath out in relief.
"phew! Can you believe her? Why can't she left me alone?" he said in annoyance.
"Come on now. Don't be upset. It's Ace-kun's birthday" I said rubbing his cheek.
"well, un-upsets me then!" he said trapping me by the pillar.
"how about a dance?" I ask him.
"here?" he looks around.
"here" I nod.
He laughs. We are not far yet from the room so we still can here the music clearly.
Ace-kun hold my hand and put his other hand on my waist. I put my hand on his shoulder as we waltz and laugh. He trailed kisses on my neck as we dip. I close my eyes, savouring the feeling of her lips on my body. My eyes are still close when he pulls my body back to him. He kiss me.
"I want my present now" he said between kisses.
"the party..." I try to say.
"don't care" Ace-kun whines.
I laugh again. He is such a petulant child. I love him though. We run to Ace-kun's room playfully, Ace-kun pointing at the moon and the stars along the way and telling me that the north star is a very important star for a pirate. It's the star that tells you where home is. It's look like we're still going to be a pirate on the future, ne? I can't wait!
My Prince is ferocious but I love him. A lot.
I don't remember when we reach the room or how we lose our clothes. The only thing I'm aware is that Ace-kun is inside me, moving deeper and faster each time. His hands on my body while his mouth kissing me everywhere. I'm chanting his name in whisper.
I'm burning. My body feel hot all over. I dig into his back more. I need him to save me. I knew he is the only one that can save me. I'm burning with pleasure, I'm burning with need of his body. Of him moving inside me. I can't do anything beside clinging onto him. Begging him to give it to me.
I look at him. His sweating body is so enticing. His pleasured expression and his predatory eyes on me make me feel more excited. Then it's change. It wasn't Ace-kun anymore on top of me. It was the boy, no the man. It was his broaden shoulder that trap me to the bed. It was his tanned back that I was grasping. It was his pleasurable face that I was lose into. No, it can't be. I was thinking about Ace-kun just now. I wasn't thinking about him. Yet, I can't stop staring at him. I shudder at the feeling of him sucking my skin, at him that moving faster and harder inside me now. I feel his release shooting inside me. I follow him after. Ether-sama, I'm a sinner. This man, I love him too. I sobs. My tears flowing unstoppable.
"hey, are you okay? Is something wrong? Did I hurt you?" Ace-kun panicked voice says.
No, no, it was not him. Is it me that should apologize. I try to tell him but my throat has refusing to make any sound. I love Ace-kun. I really love him. But why did I... ? Ether-sama, I was thinking about other man when I'm making in love with him. He will hate me. I sob harder.
"Kii..." Ace-kun said worriedly.
And now I'm also worrying him. I need to be brave and tell him the truth. Whatever will happen after that I have to accept because I love him. I love Ace-kun very very much.
"I've betrayed Ace-kun. I was thinking of that boy, man, just now. I'm so sorry Ace-kun" I tell him between sobs.
"Goodness, Kii. Don't scare me like that. I thought I've hurt you" Ace-kun sighs.
"but..." he cuts me with a kiss.
"I'm sorry Kii, it's my fault. I should have told you sooner"
"it's not Ace-kun..."
"it is. And you suffer because of it"
I don't understand. Why is it became his fault. And tell me what?
And so, Ace-kun tell me that years after the boy died a God comes to pick him up. The said God gives him a second chance to have an adventure again. He is not born in the same world as he was but he was happy. He has a good brothers, a good family and a good life. He even experiencing his first love. The God name is Ether and he is born as Arzen Ace Fern Rhein.
"...and he fall in love with a girl named Kii" Ace-kun finished.
I stared at him open mouthed. No way! Isn't this just too convenient? Did he try to cheer me up? But Ace-kun never lie to me.
"it's the truth, Kii. You don't believe me? Have I ever lie to you?"
"no but..."
"it is unbelievable?"
"it's hard to believe, yes"
"but you don't think I lied"
"I don't think you lied"
"I'm sorry Kii, I can't proof it. But think about it. I'm a possessive person. specially over you. I won't be grinning happily had you like someone else. I was acting like that because it was me. Well, past me. I don't get disturbed by your feelings for him and me being happy when you think of him, it is because for me Kii, you loving him is like you accepting my past."
"so, the boy in the forest and the man that die in the war..."
"he was me. Portgas D Ace. I was a biological son of Gol D Roger, the pirate king who were hated by the world. A brother of a runaway noble and a pirate king wannabe. A grandson of a marine hero, a foster child of a bunch of bandits, and a son of the most notorious pirate who was called the strongest man in the world, Edward Newgate, the Captain of Whitebeard's pirate. I was their second commanders. I got caught when I was hunting for a traitor and died because my stupid pride didn't allow me to runaway. Hurting many people in the process."
Ace-kun said smiling sadly at me.
"I don't regret dying, Kii. I just regretting the fact that I did so with the cost of my beloved people suffering. I knew with time they will move on. They're strong after all. But the scars that I left on them will never go away" he continues.
I pull him to me. I kiss his temple and hug him tight. I knew then, as unbelievable as it is, he is telling the truth. No lie can make someone show that kind of expression.
"I believe you" I whisper.
"really?"
"uh-huh"
"do you hate me now? For not telling you before? Are you dissapointed? I'm not a prince, Kii. I'm a pirate"
"I don't hate you. Ace-kun situation is not easy and hard to believe after all. I might do the same if I was in Ace-kun position. It doesn't matter if Ace-kun is a prince or a pirate. Ace-kun is still my prince. The one that I want to spend my life with" I tell him. I know he needs to hear that.
"thank you, Kii. You don't have an idea how much it's mean to me. Hearing you say that"
"uh-huh. I love Ace-kun after all. Both versions"
Ace-kun laugh.
"I love you more" he said.
I laugh too.
"it's maybe not the right time nor place to mention this but... Ace-kun I just realized that you're still inside me"
"ah, I am" he said after a pause.
"if you would please..."
"nope. Let's go for next round"
"Eh? But you're not..."
I cut myself as I feel him getting bigger again inside me. So fast!
I welcome his kiss readily. Tonight is going to be a long night it seems. I close my else, ready to savour the pleasurable feeling he is going to give me.
"feel free to imagine past me" Ace-kun say playfully.
"don't tease me" I said breathlessly.
His laughter resonated in my neck. I love him so much. The second time is always been more passionate and hotter. It's always hot. My body always burning not care how many time we do it. The feeling is never lessen. The fire will just get brighter and it's burning me hotter.
I never feel tired to beg him for more. More. Because I need him more. I want him more. I want him get deeper inside me. I want him to thrust harder and faster. Because I'm burning. His love burning me. His passion burning. I'm lost in his touch. I'm helpless. Him. Only him that can save me from this feeling.
I clung into him more as he lift my body to get even deeper into me. It's wonderful when we come. The world seems to stop. He is the only one that I can see. My Prince, the pirate. My Ace-kun.
Ace-kun fall on top of me. His breath ragged. I caress his head, combing my hand on his hair.
"it's wonderful, kii" he said.
I smile as he come for a kiss.
Then the door open with a loud booms. There stood by the door is that whatshername lady whose name I don't want to know anymore.
"kyaaaa" I scream instinctly, trying to cover myself.
"what the heck are you doing here?" Ace-kun angry voice shout.
I peek behind him to see someone dragging her away. Oh Ether-sama, this is so embarrassing.
"I'm going to die" I whimper to Ace-kun back.
Ace-kun pause, then he is laughing. I'm dying from embarrassment and he laughed at me? I huff.
"some Prince, you are" I tell him.
"Nah, I'm a pirate" he said as he kiss me.
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