Capítulo 28: Like Sugar | Chapter Twenty-eight
After an hour passed by with no one walking in for his office hours, Jared decided to send Darnell a text. The younger man responded almost immediately. Jared's eyes went wide in surprise, but his shock was soon replaced by excitement. He grinned, replying to Darnell's message.
Message from: Darnell.
I'm done with my classes. I've been done with them since two. Can I come over?
Friday, 6:01 PM.
Message to: Darnell.
I'm not at home.
Friday, 6:02 PM.
Message from: Darnell.
I know, I meant to your office. You're in the state university. I know where that is. I'll just need the directions to your office. :)
Friday, 6:03 PM.
Jared stared down at the text. He wasn't sure what to say. On one hand having Darnell come over might be a little risky, but on the other hand, most students had left the university buildings unless they had evening and night classes.
He put his thought aside, texting Darnell that it was okay to come. His work hours were almost over, and it wasn't as if he was hiding the fact that he was gay. If his students saw him it was all right, the semester was almost over anyway, and they'd get lost in the sea of the near forty thousand students. Darnell replied with a smile emoticon and a little note saying that he would be coming over soon.
Jared waited in his office, going through his emails and marking assignments. After half an hour, there was a brief knock on the door before the door creaked open. Jared looked up and was about to ask Darnell how he got here so fast, but he held his tongue when he saw who it was. It wasn't Darnell. It was Abby. She gave him a small smile, waving when he didn't say anything. She looked away, pushing strands of her hair behind her ear as she approached Jared's desk.
"I actually need help this time," she promised, taking a seat on the chair that was beside his table. Since that day that Abby gave Jared her little speech, she had been scarce in his office hours. Jared almost forgot about her entirely, but here she was, right in front of him with a smile on her face, and nerves swimming in the blue pool of her eyes. She looked very self-conscious, and it seemed her speech had not only shocked Jared but herself as well.
"Well, um," Abby muttered, looking down at the wooden table before shaking her head and looking through her bag. She took out her notes before flipping through her journal to show Jared what she needed help with. "Here's the question I'm having a little trouble with," she said, using her pink acrylic finger to point at her attempts at solving it. Jared was stunned, but that didn't stop him from leaning forward to show Abby how to solve it. Hopefully, she would be gone by the time Darnell got to his office - well, that was his hope, and it proved not to be the case. There was a knock on the door soon after, and Jared's phone buzzed. Jared looked at his screen, reading the message from Darnell.
➡Push notification.
Message from Darnell: Am I at the right door? I just knocked. Can you hear me? I don't want to walk into someone's office and end up having to explain myself.
"Come in," Jared said, looking up from his phone to turn his attention to the door. It creaked open and Darnell walked in with a smile on his face. His smile didn't last long though. His lips drew into a thin line as he rose his brow in confusion when he spotted Abby.
He wasn't sure why he was nervous, but he was. The girl was pretty, and she was alone with Jared. He looked away, scolding himself in his head for thinking up such rubbish. She was a student of Jared, why would he think of silly things like that? Professors had office hours, and Jared was right there in front of him helping her out with something. His reasoning didn't push the irrational jealousy out of his mind though. He pinched himself, forcing a smile on his face as he looked back at Jared.
"I thought you were done with work," he muttered. There wasn't any other seat in the room, just the ones Jared and Abby were sitting on. Abby looked confused, reading the tense atmosphere.
What in the world was going on?
"I thought I was," Jared answered, turning back to look at Abby. Abby seemed confused. She had assumed that Darnell had come in for help too.
"Should I leave?" Darnell asked. It was a rhetorical question. He didn't want to leave, and he didn't want Jared to ask him to leave. He was just being snarky, and he felt bad about it. He hated how he was feeling. Why did his mind keep painting scenarios that were senseless?
"Of course not, we're done," Jared said, and Abby stared at him with wide eyes. Sure, he had been explaining things to her for a while, but they weren't finished with the question.
"He can wait his turn, can't he? We're not done with the question-"
"He's not here for help," Jared said, cutting Abby off. Darnell and Abby were staring at him now. Abby wanted some clarification, and Darnell was watching to see if Jared would go as far as he thought he would. Of course, he wouldn't blame Jared if he didn't want to tell random students that they were dating, but Darnell would be lying if he said he didn't want Jared to publicly state their relationship. There was just something about someone claiming you publicly, and when it was hush-hush it felt like the relationship wasn't as tangible, or that it was embarrassing and had to be hidden away.
"He came over because I told him I was done with work," Jared said, beating about the bush as he looked down at the sheets of paper. Jared wondered if Darnell would be angry if he told her, but then he remembered how Darnell announced their relationship in front of everyone in the bar a handful of weeks ago. It made his heart warm, and that was enough confirmation that Darnell didn't care who knew.
"That's my boyfriend," Jared finally said, the last word coming out as a soft whisper, but Darnell and Abby still heard him. Darnell's face warmed up, and Abby just looked from Jared to Darnell with wide eyes.
It all made sense now.
Jared was gay all this time. She didn't know what was more embarrassing; the fact that she kept trying to get him to see her as more than a student, or the fact that she probably sounded silly saying all that stuff about the woman he was with being lucky. All this time she had been fuming about him not looking her way, but that wasn't him just being clueless. He just wasn't interested.
She wasn't sure if she was angry or grateful that he never explicitly turned him down. In one hand rejection would have hurt her, but on the other hand how she was feeling now because of her previous obliviousness was crushing her.
"Oh." The was really all she could let out. Waves of embarrassment rushed through her, and she felt the urge to get up and leave, but her legs felt wobbly, and she wasn't sure if her legs would support her.
"It's okay. You've helped a lot. I'll leave," she muttered, finally getting up. She needed to hold on to the chair for a while to get her balance. She took a deep breath before straightening up and heading for the office's door. The door was opened and closed soon after, and Jared and Darnell were left alone in the room. The office as pin silent until Darnell coughed into his hand, making Jared to finally look up at him.
"Well then..." he trailed, unable to prevent the pettiness from slipping into his tone. He realized this and nibbled on his bottom lip as he walked up to Jared's desk. "That was something."
"Darnell-"
"I'm not sure what to make of that."
"Don't be angry."
"I'm not, why would I be?" he asked, his voice shaking a bit. His voice always did that when he was lying. He was angry, but he didn't want to be. Maybe not angry, but rather, jealous. It was an odd feeling, and he wasn't used to it. He felt irrational and whiny all at the same time. It probably wasn't something serious, but he could see that the blonde lady liked Jared. Why does that matter? He scolded himself. It's not like Jared would change his mind and date her instead. He was gay, so why was his mind still tossing irrational thoughts at him.
"Well, not angry, but upset," Jared said in a soft voice, and Darnell looked away, staring down at his blue tennis shoes as he tucked his hands into the pocket of his jeans. He couldn't even bring himself to lie this time. He was upset, and he was sure it showed on his face and mannerisms.
"I feel stupid for being upset," he muttered in a low tone, making Jared sigh. He heard the sound of the chair moving, and soon he felt hands wrap around him.
"She's pretty," Darnell muttered, as Jared held him close, "And she likes you," he added, shifting in Jared's hold until he was facing the older man and staring into his deep brown eyes. "It makes me nervous." Darnell still couldn't bring himself to say the word jealous. He didn't want to be jealous. He didn't want to feel whiny and possessive. Strange, because he wanted Jared to feel that way about him at times - it made him feel good and desirable, but the feeling he had now (jealousy) just made him feel like he was overreacting by reading silly details into everything. He didn't like that feeling.
Jared just hugged Darnell, closing his eyes as Darnell shifted in his arms a bit. The older man's face was warm as he came to the realization that Darnell was jealous. Darnell was jealous over him. He wasn't sure why that made his heart swoon, and his stomach squeezed up with happiness.
"You're not stupid."
"Well, I feel like I am," Darnell muttered, making Jared sigh before pulling away a bit to stare at him. He leaned forward, kissing the man's forehead before leaning away until he was only loosely holding his hand.
"Can I say something?" Jared asked, and Darnell blinked before nodding. "I think it's kind of adorable that you're jealous." Jared watched Darnell's face warm up as the young man looked at anything but him. He sucked in his lips, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked for what to say.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"I don't sound dumb and possessive?" Darnell asked.
"Not at all," Jared answered, smiling when Darnell finally looked up to meet his gaze. The younger man let out a nervous chuckle, looking back down at the floor as he held his hand.
"So, what's your work like?" Jared laughed at Darnell's attempt to ease the tension, but he immediately went on to talk about his workplace. He went back to his seat, and Darnell took the chair by his desk. Jared responded to emails as he talked to Darnell, and Darnell talked about his group assignment and his annoying professor. He said Jared was a better teacher.
The tense atmosphere evolved into something sweet. It was nice to just sit down and talk about their day. When Jared was done answering emails he packed up and they left his office together. Some people stopped and stared at Darnell, but the younger man didn't seem to care. He stuck close to Jared as if signaling to people that 'yes, it's what you think it is', and that made Jared's heart swell and his face warm up. He loved that Darnell liked him so much. He liked that Darnell wanted to show everyone that they were together.
It made him feel wanted and precious. He loved that.
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