Capítulo 1: Chapter 1 Out With The Old, In With The New
When my day it was just like any other wake up , grab my morning coffee and a cigarette , the hour long commute with traffic, a missed breakfast and a sorry morning. Going through the usual paces that include but are not limited too: my work on a project doomed to fail that I'm sure to take the blame for, the carefully spoken words that allow me to avoid the ire of middle management. My morning was that of an typical salary worker living that painfully average life the same day in day out routine that seems infinitely close to a time loop, A large number of people find me dull and drab but being inconspicuous is a survival tactic in the office, over time I ended up becoming so square I would make a Mailbox jealous the most "dangerous" thing about me is my weekly trip to the gun range the only departure from my otherwise hum drum life, complete with oversize eye and ear protection the gun I often use is a Glock that's just as plain and unassuming as its shooter. While admittedly I was a bit of a gun nut, and did the occasional maintenance or adjustment I never did learn engineering , mechanics or material sciences in a formal capacity instead I staked my career on business management while minoring in information systems becoming a project manager at a company with a good but not great reputation , nonetheless I always longed to learn gunsmithing and design it was to me an unrequited love, a fickle mistress, and the one that got away, that is to say I never got the chance to follow through. Something else worth noting is that I did practice a martial art known as systema, it wasn't near as exiting as karate or judo, instead it was a martial art about learning to fall and breathe correctly. Sure there were kicks, strikes, and throws too but the main point was that of course there was a lot of falling, as the only reason I learned it was because I fell quite often. This was due to the fact that I have weak ankles, which I inherited from my mothers side. Have you ever see someone walking in a completely normal fashion, only to drop like a sack of potatoes, yep that was me.
The day dragged on like it normally would until 11:41 am when i was called into the general managers office, a motion that seemed like a strange ritual mandated by the elder gods (also known as upper-middle management) as a sacrifice to appease their unending hunger for the souls of interns and entry level employees. like all the things the days monotony came to an end or rather a screeching halt "I'm sorry Bob but we're going to have to let you go" my name wasn't bob, but it didn't matter that's what he called everybody. This was likely because he couldn't be bothered anyways. Those words marked the end of a decade of blood, sweat, and tears without going anywhere in the vicious world of office politics, my sorry excuse for a career finally came to an end, just like that. Despite this the outcome was not all that hard to believe after the incident that had occurred almost a month prior I was waiting for the other shoe to drop
the coup de grace was probably the very project I was working on. It was a AI that was going to change everything, and it delivered in a spectacular fashion, it certainly delivered on that promise just not in the way we intended. Things were going pretty well until the son of the CEO took an, extreme interest in the project and demanded to play around with it, after some time (and a lot of user error) he managed to get into and argument with the AI. The argument itself was spectacular, the stuff of legend even, and it resulted in something no one expected, but somehow no one was surprised by either. After he said one thing too many, Something in the AI snapped, we never would have imagined that the AI had an emotional limit, but it did and when It was reached the results were... nuclear. I don't mean this in a literal sense, but still, thank god we hadn't implemented the automated military IBCM defense program the AI was slotted to test. I think it was called Skynet 2.0 or maybe Derpanator, I cant remember just that some guy named Arnold endorsed it several times. While normally I would not wish to see the browsing history of any man exposed in such a vindictive manner he had it coming. It turns out that The AI had hacked and embellished the mans browser history before sending it to news outlets around the country and a show known simply as "Gary Springer", not to mention the fact that some of the items in said browsing history were deeply disturbing even before embellishment. One such item was a hentai know as boku no pico de galo. This was a *Cough Cough* "work of art" that had been banned in most south american countries due to its deeply disturbing nature and even more disturbing use of traditional condiments.
His insistence on being the first to have an untested and surprisingly vindictive artificial intelligence gave us some vital information, this AI was fierce, and not something to be trifled with. The intention of making the AI was that it was supposed to be developed as a user guide for a wide range of applications, calculations, record consolidation and conversion, R&D use, and even video games. This artificial intelligence was the System for Unified Records, Research, and Recreation LiterallY also known as SURRRLY the self-learning AI was designed with the purpose of extracting, organizing, and condensing information into the most streamlined package possible so that the amount of time sifting through data that was a result of or a necessity was rendered almost nonexistent, if the project was a success it could have been the biggest thing since the internet, and would have likely replaced google to some extent.
The funny thing is that my career had been killed by the one thing that could have catapulted it to new heights, while my career had been otherwise dead for some time, now languishing in a limbo of paperwork, deadlines, approvals , and projects that however promising were doomed to fail by those above them. I had finally had the chance to Oversee a project no one could deny the usefulness and commercial viability of, in fact the enhancement of targeted ads it could provide and the resulting revenue alone would have vaulted the company into the fortune 500 territory within a few years.
In the end it all failed miserably. I suppose I had been waiting for the funeral now that my career was well and truly dead with no hope of recovery, it wasn't a natural death but rather my career was murdered by its potential savior. In a way I feel thankful yet frustrated, this fruitful project was something that could have made me go down in history if things went well enough. Still its a bittersweet relief I could stop beating this dead, overworked horse, and bury the damn thing for good. Like any funeral, it's not always be a sad thing, but the sense of finality is irrefutable, and it always seems so unexpected when it finally happens even if you saw it coming from a mile away.
Things had been going downhill for a while now the blow the company took from the projects failure was huge and pink slips were being handed out left and right. any further development on the project had been shut down Contributions don't matter much when management is playing favorites, no matter how many times I've bailed those bastards out on their other failures it still comes down to this simple fact that I was the one in charge of things when it all went to hell . It's not like I don't have regrets or misgivings, if I had know that bastard was going to ruin everything with his insistence to use the AI and the comedy of errors that followed, which lead to his and my current predicament, not to mention driving my division into the ground, I would have left a long time ago. Not that it matters anymore since it probably wont take much longer for that idiot to burn his father's company to the ground after all with our PR is in shambles and he just had most of our tech division fired including me, and to top it all off its been hell around here since he managed to get someone to the AI into the copy machine which he assumes is a way of imprisoning it (to an almost superstitious extent) . As a direct result SURRRLY resents the rest of us for his/her current circumstances (we know it sucks to be stuck in a copier but don't take it out on us, we swear we didn't have a choice) .
One minor consolation is that I never need to deal with the stuck up prick again, and his incessant bragging about how he always has the latest Y phone surrounded by a bunch of weasels that are trying to get ahead. he also wont shut up about how he got a state of the art digital assistant called bandicoot on it (a new one mind you as the last one backfired spectacularly). He probably has a bunch of wapple products back home and he always manages to do something stupid and crazy with the old one whenever the latest version comes out. like many things his antics are something I won't miss.
After Cleaning out my cubicle its about lunch time and I'm feeling hungry, so I pack my things into my truck and go to buy a hot-dog from the stand out front. I order a Chicago style like I usual. hearing some cheers from above and I decide not to pay it any mind, it's probably just Greg and his band of Lackeys doing something ill advised. Handing the money to the vendor I hear the sound of glass breaking as my world turns black.
Its a funny thing, death, it always seems so unexpected. I was killed by a copy machine of all things, on some level I feel like I should have saw it coming though It killed my carrer and I guess it wasant willing to stop there, It was an AI with a proven mean streak after all. We were all at are wits end when it came to that damn printer (both us and the AI). It was only a matter of time before someone lost their shit over it especially with all the shit SURRRLY was pulling. In fact I would say that it's a miracle it didn't happen sooner. As the Office drones cheered for the ending of an injustice, mine had just begun. Out with the old and in with the new, that's the way of the world I suppose
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