Capítulo 2169: Vulnerability
After engorging herself to the point she appeared pregnant, Wu released a thunderous burp as she gave her protruding belly a contented pat. This earned her a fish-eyed stare from Nezha, who, after coming to terms with the fact she wasn't dreaming, ended up joining Vahn and Wu at the table.
"Haaaa, look what you've done to me. You better take responsibility~."
Raising his brows, Vahn gave Wu's melon-like belly a stare before commenting, "That looks pretty convincing. I'm guessing this isn't the first time you've made use of the 72 Transformations to appear pregnant?"
Rather than answer Vahn's question, Wu pressed down on her stomach as if she were deflating a balloon. This wasn't an exaggeration, as, despite possessing the ability to transform seamlessly, Wu ended up releasing a prolonged far reminiscent of a whoopie cushion...
Contrasting Wu's expectations, Vahn responded with a light chuckle before casually disposing of the mountain of plates dominating the kitchen table. One of Gaia's Textures was a Realm of flesh and blood, so, compared to the stench of billions of rotting corpses, the flowery farts of Wu were relatively tame.
"If there's nothing else, I'll escort the two of you to the front gate. Feel free to stop by tomorrow morning for breakfast. I don't mind cooking up one last feast prior to my departure."
Since Wu seemed to possess an Innate or Gift that prevented involuntary spatial transfers, Vahn decided to escort the duo on foot. Before he could even urge them out of the kitchen, however, it was Nezha who asked, "Huh? Weren't we supposed to get drunk and piss the night away? You also promised me resources. How am I supposed to obtain them if you just run off?"
Piggybacking off of Nezha's words, Wu nodded her head, adding, "Nezha's right. I was planning to crack out one of my best Monkey Wines. You can't just give us the boot after feeding us like a pair of stray animals."
Exhaling an inaudible sigh, Vahn's expression morphed into a troubled smile as he ran his fingers through his hair and said, "Listen...I don't mind lending a hand. You're just not willing to accept it without some form of equivalent exchange. While I can appreciate that, the truth of the matter is that you have nothing I want, need, or desire..."
Shifting his attention to Nezha, Vahn's brows furrowed as he continued, adding, "You shouldn't be so quick to compromise on matters regarding your integrity. I'm not sure what kind of relationship you have with Ao Bing but it's clear they're important to you. They might forgive you and you might be able to come to terms with your actions, but, in the grand scheme of things, it wouldn't be worth the guilt and regret you would feel during the interim..."
Leaving Nezha at a loss for words, Vahn shifted his attention to Wu next, his expression hardening as he said, "Pressuring your friend to use their virginity as leverage in some kind of transaction isn't something a real friend would do. It's also remarkably hypocritical. You might be able to conceal it from others, but, as a God of Sex, I can tell you're still a virgin. Trying to convince someone to make a sacrifice you're unwilling to make is one of the-"
Without waiting for Vahn to finish, Wu gave him an incredulous look, asking, "What are you talking about? I've never tried to conceal the fact I'm a virgin. In fact, it's one of the things I'm most proud of. I mean, just look at me. I might not be a conventional jade beauty but I'm super adorable. I also have my 72 Transformations so I can make myself look as young or mature as I like. The only reason I'm still a virgin is because I've never found anyone strong enough to be my partner. Don't lump me in with those hussies who need to spread their legs in order to get stro-"
Realizing what she was about to say, Wu promptly covered her mouth with both hands before sending a wide-eyed stare towards Nezha. To her surprise, the latter appeared more vexed than angry. After all, even if she was offended by Wu's words, she couldn't deny the cold, hard truth contained within...
Instead of blaming Wu for her weakness, Nezha directed her crimson gaze to Vahn as she asked, "If I decided to move forward in spite of your warnings, would you still reject me...?"
Though he was tempted to immediately nod in the affirmative, Vahn decided to remain patient, asking, "Why? Explain your reasoning..."
Spreading her hands and shrugging in a helpless manner, Nezha answered, "I mean, my life isn't exactly free from regret. Most of the books written about me omit the finer details but they still manage to convey the more important aspects of my history. My nature is tied to destruction, and, no matter how I try to suppress it, I always end up hurting the people around me. Ao Bing was even my slave at one point. It wasn't until a few hundred years ago that we actually hit it off. Before that, I was pretty terrible to him..."
As she had never confided in anyone like this, Nezha's words began to trail off as she broke eye contact with both Vahn and Wu. She felt weaker in this one moment than every other moment in her entire life. In spite of this, she managed to gather enough resolve to continued, explaining, "If it's for the sake of my...no, mine, and Bing Bing's freedom, I don't mind picking a few more regrets onto the mountain I live with every single day. The more important thing is that I'm able to obtain our freedom through my own efforts...I don't need...I don't want anyone's pity..."
Hearing Nezha bare her heart to him, Vahn would be lying if he said his own hadn't melted for the troubled girl. Even Wu wasn't unaffected, her characteristically mischievous smile replaced by a far more serious and concerned expression. She was well aware of Nezha's struggles but this was the first time she had ever seen the youthful-looking girl expose herself in such a manner...
Directing her gaze to the person responsible for Nezha's extremely out-of-character behavior, Wu couldn't help wondering if Vahn had done something. If he had, she hadn't been able to detect it. Either way, he was clearly an exceptional person to be able to get the hot-blooded and extremely prideful Nezha to open up mere hours after their first meeting...
Noticing Wu's gaze, a wry smile developed across Vahn's face. In truth, he knew exactly why Nezha was behaving this way. He had been exuding a natural and calming aura ever since he arrived in the kitchen. This was aided by his capacity as an A-Rank God of Nature, but, more than anything else, it was the combination of delicious food and drink that had lowered Nezha's defenses.
Electing to keep this to himself, Vahn's expression softened as he stared at the crimson-eyed girl slowly coming to terms with the fact she had just revealed her innermost desires. Then, before she could experience an emotional overflow that caused her vulnerability to turn to intractable hostility, he surprised both girls by manifesting a Riolu, the pre-evolved form of the Pokemon Lucario, out of thin air.
"Just as you have things you won't compromise on, my nature makes it impossible for me to take advantage of your present situation. Thus, instead of providing you a direct increase to your power, I will provide you the means to increase it through your own efforts. This adorable little kit is known as a Riolu. So long as you care for it and treat it like a friend, it will eventually evolve into a creature known as a Lucario. After that, you need only train alongside it to drastically increase your power."
Preempting any protests she might have, Vahn tossed the Riolu towards the stunned Nezha before going on to explain, "There are more important things than raw power when it comes to strength. If you're lacking in emotional and spiritual development, your power will rule you instead of the other way around. As a C-Rank God of Destruction, trust me when I say that comprehension and mastery surpass raw power by several orders of magnitude."
So as to remove any doubt from her mind, Vahn produced the Gift Card denoting his status as a God of Destruction. This earned him a slack-jawed stare from Nezha, as, despite claiming her nature was tied to destruction, she lacked the corresponding Divinity. She was a lesser God of Flames, and, due to the influence of the Three Pure Ones and the Buddhist Faction, her principal Divinities made her the Patron God of Children and Filial Piety. According to Sanzang, it was actually her rejection of these two identities that resulted in her unstable nature.
Alternating her gaze between the violet-hued Gift Card and the predominately blue creature staring up at her with large, rust-red eyes, the emotion at the forefront of Nezha's mind was confusion. She had already resolved to do whatever it took to secure freedom for herself and Ao Bing, so, now that Vahn had put his foot down and presented her with an alternative solution, she didn't know how to react...
As if sensing her thoughts, Riolu extended its paws upward, a smiling expression on its face as it playfully chimed, "Ri Riolu~!"
"..."
Though her heart palpitated slightly when she met its gaze, Nezha held out the confused Riolu towards Vahn as she said, "I can't accept this. I don't have the means to care for it and it's clearly not a normal animal if it has the potential to help a High-Ranking God become stronger. If it was sold at an auction, there's no way in hell I would be able to afford it. Like I said before...I have no intention of accepting any handouts..."
Refusing to accept the disheartened-looking creature, Vahn took a step away from Nezha as he said, "You're mistaken. I'm not actually giving this to you. Pokemon, the race of creatures this little fella comes from, are not pets. They are companions with their own wants and needs. If you failed to earn its trust or treated it poorly, it would simply leave. As for the whole auction thing, well, you can rest assured nothing like this would ever appear. Each Pokemon is tied to my Divinity and has received my Blessing. The moment they are in danger, I would become aware of it. If someone did try to put them up on auction, I would merely summon the Pokemon to my side and then persecute the people responsible."
Furrowing her brows, Nezha was about to refuse a second time when the Riolu in her hands began to tear up, its previously happy smile replaced by a pitiful, puppy-eyed expression as it muttered a sad, "Riolu...?"
Though she would never, ever admit it, Nezha had always had a weakness for cute things. Thus, the moment she met the pitiable Riolu's gaze, it was like a vice had closed around her heart. Her brows furrowed even deeper, but, instead of addressing Vahn, she maintained eye contact with the puppy-like creature as she inquired, "Do you really want to be my partner that badly? You don't even know me..."
Without so much as a moment of hesitation, the diminutive Pokemon raised one of its paws, its sad expression disappearing in an instant as it happily replied, "Riolu~!"
Feeling waves of happiness exuding from the Riolu's body like a gentle warmth, a byproduct of its natural ability to manipulate its aura and interpret emotions, Nezha's brows ended up creasing to the point it looked like she was constipated. Wu immediately took advantage of this, saying, "If you need to take a shit, there's a bathroom down the hall..."
With an illusory tick mark appearing on her head, Nezha immediately glared towards Wu, shouting, "You're the one that needs to take a shit you flatulent monkey...!" with a slight flush to her face...
...
..
.
(A/N: Alternate Titles: 'Someone needs to give this monkey a spanking...','Everyone has a reason for the way they behave...','The indefensible puppy eyes strat...!')
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Capítulo 2170: An Insurmountable Distance
Ignoring Nezha's remark in its entirety, Wu ended up staring at Riolu for several seconds before turning to Vahn and asking, "Where's mine?"
Having already anticipated such a question, Vahn met Wu's gaze without fear as he unhesitantly replied, "As I said previously, I'm not giving them away. I entrusted Riolu to Nezha so they could grow alongside each other. You have a mountain of monkies and other magical creatures at your beck and call. You don't need a Pokemon."
Clicking her tongue, Wu left Vahn at a loss for words as she snapped her fingers and spontaneously changed from her predominately white, martial arts garb to a more modern but exponentially more revealing outfit. Her previous attire hadn't left much to the imagination but it had, at the very least, covered all the important parts. This one consisted of a pair of fur-lined short-shorts that hung low on her hips, a pair of blue and white stockings, a loose top that was essentially just a piece of cloth barely concealing her breasts, and fur-lined parka that primarily covered her shoulders and arms.
"We can talk about that later. For now, let's find a place to unwind and cut loose. I still owe you a gourd of Monkey Wine."
Without waiting for Vahn's response, Wu pounced towards in without any consideration for her current attire. As a result, the cloth covering her chest lagged behind her initial movement, a flash of peach set within hills of fair white appearing for a brief moment before she grabbed his arm and asked, "Did you see~?" in a mischievous tone.
Deciding to ignore the baited question, Vahn met Nezha's gaze, asking, "What do you want to do? I don't mind playing host for a few hours. I have a functionally infinite library of movies, and, if you're interested, there are a few anime I could recommend."
Since Nezha and now Wu had appeared in relatively modern clothing, Vahn correctly assumed they had an interest in societies outside the Jade Palace/Heavenly Domain. They simply weren't allowed to leave as Wu was essentially the final weapon of the Jade Palace while Nezha's destructive nature prevented her from stepping outside the Jade Palace without an escort.
Unsurprisingly, it only took a moment for Nezha to nod her head. Unfortunately, she also elected to say, "Sure. Just don't get any strange ideas. I don't mind a bit of over-the-clothes touching but the moment your hand disappears, so do I."
Resisting the urge to palm his head, Vahn's relaxed smile turned into a notably exasperated grimace as he asked, "How many times do I need to repeat the same thing? I'm not going to take advantage of you..."
Shrugging her shoulders, Nezha's expression remained unchanged as she rebutted, "Yeah, you say that, but you're still a guy. Who knows how you'll behave once you get a few drinks in your system? I've seen two-faced monks go from acting all benevolent and righteous to behaving like lechers the moment some bit-tittied harlot enters the room. Words mean jack shit."
Exhaling a sigh, Vahn was about to say something to try and defend himself when Wu interrupted by spontaneously reaching towards his crotch. He caught the movement the moment her muscles twitched, so, the moment her fingers made contact with the fabric of his loose-fitting trousers, she ended up slipping through his body.
Restoring her balance by performing a sommersault, Wu's face contorted into one of disapproval as she remarked, "What gives? I was just checking the goods to see what you're packing. Who knows, I might even give you a present if you can satisfy my curiosity. I might be a virgin but I know my way around bananas, peaches, and plums..."
With a playfully seductive expression on her face, Wu traced her index finger along her bottom lip in an effort to get a rise out of Vahn. Instead, he just shook his head before saying, "You should go. I don't actually mind a bit of skinship but your behavior is just toxic. Thinking you can do whatever you please and then reacting with hostility the moment your target takes the bait is as hypocritical as it is egotistical. If you want to fight, just come out and say it."
Though she hadn't expected Vahn to expose her intentions, a toothy grin developed across Wu's face as she asked, "Are you sure~? I was actually planning to let you get away with a bit of touching since you were nice to Nezha. If we end up fighting, we might not be able to remain friends. I do my best to hold back but everyone I fight ends up beaten and bloodied. Some even fall into comas for weeks on end...."
Rolling his eyes, Vahn succeeded in legitimately angering the petite monkey girl by answering, "If I got serious, you wouldn't even last a single exchange."
With the fur on her tail bristling violently, the smile on Wu's face became even more vicious as she exclaimed, "Ha! And people have the audacity to call me shameless! Okay, big boy! Let's see what you got! If the skin on your body is half as thick as your face, I may actually have to try...!"
Without bothering to change back into her combat attire, Wu threw a punch towards Vahn's face that caused time, at least from his perspective, to stagnate. Then, similar to when he fought against people like Scathach or Musashi, her fist actually managed to connect with his face the moment he registered the fact she had punched forward.
("Well, I suppose it would be more outlandish if she couldn't use the Power of Law...")
As that thought crossed his mind, Vahn was preparing to counterattack with a similar attack. To his surprise, however, Wu's fist actually managed to indent his cheek and force his head to turn to the side. This was in spite of the fact he had made himself both immovable and indestructible.
("Self-Actualizing Authority and extraordinary Willpower...not bad at all...")
After taking a step back to find his footing, it was Vahn's turn to mete out surprises as he stepped into Wu's range before planting a fist into her exposed abdomen. She had been taken aback by his ability to take her punch without being sent flying, so, when he stepped in to return the favor, she was a little slow to react.
Under normal circumstances, Wu didn't need to take her opponents seriously. Even those who were stronger or faster than her would eventually find themselves lamenting her indestructibility. She just needed to endure their blows until they had tired themselves out. After that, they were putty in her hands.
Unfortunately, even though she possessed one of the most unbreakable forms of indestructibility in existence, Wu suffered from a weakness reminiscent of Karin. Her body didn't retain injuries but she still felt the pain from her opponent's blows. As a result, the moment Vahn's fist made contact with her abdomen, an explosive force, unlike anything she had ever experienced, radiated through Wu's body without dissipating. At the same time, a deep, incomprehensible pain seemed to penetrate to the very core of her body as she folded over his fist and unleashed a ridiculous quantity of partially digested food from the black hole that was her stomach.
Trusting in Wu's indestructibility, the only thing Vahn held back was his intent to kill. As a result, he had no idea how much force was packed into the relatively simple-looking punch. His instincts told him it would have allowed him to punch a hole through a star. Against Wu, it was enough to force her to cling to his arm for support, her expression reminiscent of Cell the moment SSJ2 Gohan gave him a punch to the gut.
"Had enough...?"
Unable to speak, Wu responded by tightening her grip around Vahn's forearm. There were very few things she couldn't crush, but, due to the spasming of her core and the feeling of numbness in her legs, most of her strength had been sealed. In spite of this, she managed to raise her head, a vicious smile on her face as she weakly groaned, "You're...so fucked..."
The moment Wu finished speaking, all of the tiny golden hairs she had sneakily scattered during her time in the kitchen burst into an identical, uninjured clone. Then, like victorious baseball players at the end of a World Series event, they dogpiled onto Vahn with the intent of burying and beating the living daylights out of him.
Like an immovable mountain, Vahn managed to remain upright even as more than a dozen half-naked Wu(s) piled atop his body. If not for the fact one had taken the liberty of straddling his face in a foolish attempt to suffocate him, the original would have been able to see him smile even as several of her clones attempted to strangle him with their tails. As for the reason? Well, so long as he didn't acknowledge their existence, Wu's clones might as well be empty space. He could even see through them as if they were phantoms or illusions, their attacks having no effect on him as he grabbed the back of Wu's parka before flinging her towards the wall with a normal, and therefore powerless throw.
With her body refusing to obey her, Wu ended up slamming into the wall before dropping to the ground with a pouty expression on her face. She could tell Vahn had held back so she was about to give him an earful until he preempted her, saying, "As someone who enjoys pranks, you should get a real kick out of this. I've made it so that the space surrounding you expands and flows around you in the direction of your movement. Unless you're able to break free, you can no longer move from that spot."
Unlike Vahn, both Wu and Nezha were fully cognizant of the former's clones. As a result, Vahn's words had come across as slightly muffled as a result of a very determined clone wrapping her body around his head like a vice. It was a very strange sight, one made even stranger when Vahn began walking forward despite an ever-growing number of clones weighing him down...
Noticing the strange looks on the duo's face, Vahn made his body immaterial so that the clones sticking to his body no longer had anything to hold onto. Then, after extricating himself from the translucent pile, he repeated, "You won't be able to move from that spot..." in a marginally more awkward tone.
Snorting through her nose, Wu forced herself to stand before channeling Qi into her thighs and calves. This caused them to bulge ever so slightly, but, more importantly, it allowed her to spring forward as she shouted, "Monkey Bounds Across the Heavens...!"
As the name implied, Monkey Bounds Across the Heavens was an ability that, quite literally, allowed Wu to leap across any imaginable distance. Long ago, she had used it to leap from the center of the Jade Palace to the furthest reaches of the near-infinite space occupied by the Heavenly Domain.
At the time, Wu had been attempting to escape from the Buddha after making a bet with the latter to escape his palm. Unfortunately, even after reaching what she believed to be the furthest reaches of the Heavenly Domain, she found herself between five rune-covered pillars. She ended up signing her name on one and peeing on another only to discover that said pillars were actually the fingers of the Buddha...
Similar to that time, Wu found herself unable to escape from the meter-wide spatial prison Vahn had trapped her in. She could feel herself moving forward at an ever-increasing speed, but, even as her body gained a golden luminescence reminiscent of a star going supernova, the space in front of her expanded and flowed around her faster than she could move forward. Her attempts to change direction also ended in failure, so, after several minutes of futile effort, her body gradually returned to normal as she said, "You suck." before puffing out her cheeks like an ill-tempered child.
...
..
.
(A/N: Alternate Titles: 'Vahn can't win with Nezha x_x...','I would wear that mask...','I hope he washed his hands...')
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