who in the hell is Lou? How can the reader keep up with the story's characters when even the writer can't keep with his/her own writing?
"Luo, you're not dreaming. It's all true!" Sheldon said helplessly, gritting his teeth.
Getting $10 Trillion Out Of Nowhere
Urban · Silent Wind
Your company is throwing a party in your behalf but you need an invitation to your own party? Your company or/and if you just hired people for security, wouldn't it be too dumb if you don't give the security a way to identify him? or at least have someone in the entrance that knows almost everyone (if not everyone)? Are you serious? This part is really absurd.
However, when Connor arrived at the entrance of the hotel, he suddenly realized a very serious problem.
Getting $10 Trillion Out Of Nowhere
Urban · Silent Wind
Shouted in a low voice? What's this? Whispered in a loud voice? Kicked him using his hands? Slapped him using his feet? Doesn't make sense.
"These people came for you, and now you're saying you don't know why they came. Do you think I'm stupid?" she shouted at him in a low voice.
Getting $10 Trillion Out Of Nowhere
Urban · Silent Wind
What kind of writing is this? Another annoying redundant and repetitive paragraphs. It's like you said "I won the sports fest in the end" then after a few moments, you said "In the end, I won the sports fest". Dude you literally just rearranged the words but said the same thing in consecutive paragraphs. You're like turning a 2 minute conversation into 30 minute conversation by repeating yourself over and over again. 😔
No one expected that the most shocking person in this school sports meet would be Connor, who usually looked very low-key.
Getting $10 Trillion Out Of Nowhere
Urban · Silent Wind
Why in many chapters, you're constantly redundant? Like almost writing the same paragraph again after a few paragraphs?
When everyone saw the Rolls-Royce with a number ending with five nines, they knew that Lenny had arrived.
Getting $10 Trillion Out Of Nowhere
Urban · Silent Wind
You wasted more than a couple of chapters just waiting for Connor's sponsor to arrive or not? What a bunch of nonsense.
Now, the entire school was watching. If their class had no sponsor when the school sports meet started, it would be very embarrassing!
Getting $10 Trillion Out Of Nowhere
Urban · Silent Wind
inconsistent names again
"Xiao Bo, help me investigate if there's a person called Connor in your junior year year…"
Getting $10 Trillion Out Of Nowhere
Urban · Silent Wind
what does the writer mean "Celebrities are also celebrities" ?
Tiffany smiled faintly after hearing Jaden's words, then said softly,"" Celebrities are also celebrities. What are you guys nervous about? If you guys aren't going to eat, then I'll eat first…"
Getting $10 Trillion Out Of Nowhere
Urban · Silent Wind
Loud bang and without a sound? That sounds a bit absurd
There was a loud bang as Wesser's head hit the wall hard. Without making any sound, he fell to the ground.
Getting $10 Trillion Out Of Nowhere
Urban · Silent Wind
You actually used 10 paragraphs of a chapter for an entrance and introduction of a single person? are you serious? It's too short. You should have made it the entire chapter or maybe, another 2 chapter just for her introduction. Include the shape of each of her toes and finger. One paragraph per toe or finger.
This beauty was none other than Birdie Schroder, the person in charge of Rockefeller's branch in Porthampton. She was also the breakthrough that Connor had tried his best to find. The middle-aged man was the head of the Lee Family in Porthampton, Tobey Lee!
Getting $10 Trillion Out Of Nowhere
Urban · Silent Wind