Bunnyboy32

Very poetic at the beginning, but poetry confuses me sometimes. The wording in their relationship is confusing at times cause in chap 1 it sounds like their strangers/one-sided love, then in chap 2 it sounds like their estranged lovers, then in 3 it’s back to one/sided love. So far character descriptions aren’t really present, but I haven’t read too far and the main plot is still kinda being set, so forgiven. Good luck, and nice start.

I like how 90% do t even read the first chap before reviewing. Any the story in my personal opinion lack some common sense, but it is necessary for the plot and I wouldn’t be able to come up with a good alternative, so passable. Some of their dialogue sounds too modern. GLHF, I guess.

Objective: The sentences are mostly coherent but the grammar isn’t great. The font and colour change in the first chapter which is nigh unreadable, while the prologue isn’t separated into paragraphs. Subjective: I don’t like the fact that adults are having intimate relationships with a minor. Conclusion: Hope that the problems get rectified, which I believe they will, also the plot won’t be changed but hopefully they age up the Mc cause having her being groomed or anything just isn’t my style. Although if they age her up and bring in some stereotypical confrontations where her lovers is the big boss it could get a following, but it would be, well, stereotypical so try find a spin and good luck.