Dreamy_C

I am just gonna say, I have nothing against you and if you are looking to better your novel here is my review. So I am going to be honest with you, from what I have read I believe you just started writing. You have good writing skills but not story making. First the main character felt too bland, too lifeless barely human. The way you have written the mc is as if he had been transmigrated a thousand times not some dude that was fused with some character in a situation he barely knows anything about by some unknown means. There have been no hints of what kind of world mc is and it doesn’t look like the mc cares to find out. Then the situation will Hinata, the mc was like “oh, yeah baby its Hinata” not “what the hell is Hinata doing in a modern settings world.”. No worries about the implications of Hinata being in that world, the mc didn’t even bother to think that if she was there then there might be more Naruto characters including dangerous villains like Orochimaru or the whole Otsutsuki clan. And don’t get me started on mc motivations and goals. Seriously I don’t have anything against Harem novels but when picking girls and getting overpowered is what the character’s whole story is based on then it gets old quickly. It would have been better to simply not give a purpose at all and simply let the mc wander around and find what they want to do gradually and formed a harem gradually during their adventures. Lastly the chat group and their interactions were done badly. They were to open with each other and leave much to be desired. Lastly I just know that Momo will just be a harem member and will have no character development or anything and will be forgotten in the background.